


Colors

by Sincerelyyoursanonymous



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Clexa Endgame, Emotional Abuse, F/F, HSAU, Hard of Hearing Aden, Hard of Hearing Anya, Lexa / Anya / Aden siblingship, Lostia startgame, New Girl Clarke Griffin, Physical Abuse, Slow Burn, clexa wedding, deaf aden, deaf lexa, kind of, they're all foster kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-05 22:23:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 99,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincerelyyoursanonymous/pseuds/Sincerelyyoursanonymous
Summary: Clarke Griffin recently moved to Annapolis, Maryland, thanks to her father's job relocating. Now, she has to go to Arkadia High School, a public school; a complete change from her old, private school life. She makes a few friends on her first day, but there's one that she immediately clicks with: Aden Woods. When Clarke and Aden are paired for a school project, she meets Aden's slightly older sister Lexa, whom Clarke can't help but feel attracted to. Lexa, however, attends a different school than Clarke and Aden. Lexa attends Polis High School for the Deaf.Or, a Deaf!AU inspired by Switched at Birth.Now with an Epilogue !





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Just testing this out to see how it'll do. I'd love feedback on it if you guys want me to continue!

Residential Annapolis, Maryland. The trees seemed to hold a few lighter shades of green compared to the darker, gloomier forests of Seattle, mixing in with the reds and oranges that came with the first day of October. Clarke let out a huff as she picked up the last of her moving boxes, carrying it with little ease into the house she would now call home. Moving was a little hard; she had left friends like Niylah back in Seattle, but she was eager for a new start. Eager for adventure, eager for new people. And her fathers transfer at Jaha, Inc. would provide her with that.

The move itself was difficult. Her mom had to find a new job, but she had settled easily for a nursing position at the local hospital. She was hoping to work her way up to a surgeon as time went on, but was glad for the easier hours.

It was a Sunday. Clarke was set to head to school at Arkadia High the next day; a public school not far from her house. She had gone to private school in Seattle, a perk that came with her fathers position, but she didn’t mind the step down to public school. Mostly, she was just excited to not have to wear a uniform every day.

Her new room was nice; large on its own accord. With walls covered in white just begging to be decorated and cream colored carpeting that she’d have to make a mental note to put down a tarp before she tried painting. Everything was going smoothly so far. Her boxes still needed to be unpacked, but instead of diving right in, she instead opted to research Arkadia for the remainder of the night.

Her alarm clock woke her the next morning with the man on the radio informing her of the days weather. Not a cloud in sight, he had predicted, which was a nice contrast to the rainy days she had spent in Seattle. She was up and ready before her father even was, but she thanked how easily she was able to adapt to the time change for that. Turning on the coffee pot, she allowed it to run so it was ready for her parents when they woke up as she gathered what she'd need for the day. Backpack, check. Keys, check. Mental stability? Well, some would say that she left that in Seattle with Niylah, but she knew that it was, in fact, check. 

She had an hour to kill before school was set to start. So, like any new kid in a town, she opted to explore the town before she was set to spend eight hours in school. She ended up finding a small, secluded coffee shop on the outside of town. Upon getting a coffee she found to have really liked it; it was enough to rival her usual shop in Seattle. She made a mental note to keep track of the name and to return when she had more time. 

Arkadia High proved to be a complete change from her old school. Gone were the assigned parking spaces and in it's place was an open lot, filled with students chatting in casual clothing and leaning against cars that she had only really seen in resale car places. It made her realize just how luxurious her life had been previously, and it made her a little more anxious as to how she would really fit in at Arkadia. 

The next major difference she noticed was the lockers. Fox Academy had long, wide lockers painted red and black for the school colors. Her own personal locker was red, but she decorated the outside with drawings in dry-erase markers. Niylah had added her own bits of artwork, as well. But her new locker at Arkadia would be green, much like the rest of the lockers. Half the space she had at Arkadia; it didn't seem like she'd even fit her backpack in the locker. But that didn't really matter. She found it with ease, soon realizing that she probably wouldn't use it very often, and after shutting it continued on to her first class.

The bell rang as she walked in the door. The teacher, Kyle Wick, as her schedule told her, turned to her with a smile as the class started to settle down. 

"You must be Clarke Grififn." He stated, less of a question and more of a realization. 

"Uh, yeah --" 

"No need to introduce yourself to the class, we'll get to know your personaliy the more you interact with us. I'm Kyle Wick; the class calls me Wick. Take a seat next to Raven in the back." 

She looked around the classroom, noticing the girl in the back with her feet kicked up raise her hand. She nodded, adjusted her backpack on her shoulder and walked to the back, knowing very well people were staring. 

"Well look at you, short, blonde, and dressed in leather. You'll have the wolves after you in no time." The brunette -- Raven -- chimed in as soon as Clarke sat down. 

"It's faux. And I'm not exactly interested in guys who think with their dicks." She had had her fair share of those guys in Seattle. Her old boyfriend, Finn, had been one in particular.

"Wow, blondie's got sass," Raven mumbled, rolling her eyes as Wick told her to put her feet down and flicked the man off. He just laughed in response, and continued teaching. 

It was then that Clarke noticed the brace.

"You don't have to stare. It's rude." 

She looked at Raven, who crossed her arms. 

"I'm just wondering what happened." 

"Some think it happened when I was saving a family from a fire. Some think I was abducted by aliens. But the truth is, it was just an accident. Was working on a motorcycle, the bike fell over, and boom. Broken leg that didn't heal right." Raven explained, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Wow." 

"You think that's _wow_? Where exactly are you from?" 

"Seattle." 

"That explains it. Outskirts or downtown?" 

"Downtown -- why does it matter?" 

Raven smirked, "Because if you were from the outskirts, I wouldn't have nearly as much fun making fun of you for being a city girl."

\-----------

Clarke learned a lot about Raven within that first chemistry class. In fact, she learned a lot that she didn't even really want to know. She learned that Raven lived on her own with a roommate, that she was actually nineteen but was held back a grade due to the aforementioned motorcycle accident, and she seemed to have a love/hate relationship with most of Arkadia's student body. In fact, Clarke was surprised that she even managed to learn anything in class with the amount that Raven was talking. But she didn't mind it all that much; it eased her nerves a whole lot.

She blocked out a lot of her other classes. She had a few papers here and there, a few pieces of homework, but due to the advanced learning curve at Fox Academy she was ahead in most of the classes already. When lunch rolled around she was ready to head off-campus for lunch, but was stopped by Raven. 

"Where do you think you're going, blondie?" 

"Lunch?" 

"No can do, you're coming with me." Raven announced, pulling Clarke along by the arm. "You're with me now, blondie. And first thing you should know is that I don't eat lunch in the cafeteria." 

Clarke rolled her eyes, but followed along anyways. This day just seemed to get weirder and weirder. 

Raven led her to the football field, under them, to be exact. Part of her believed that Raven was leading her there to kill her until she saw the small waves of smoke coming from what seemed to be an old battered couch near the back of the stadium; far away from the entrance. Clarke assumed it was so that they wouldn't be noticed. 

"Murphy, get your ass up. We've got guests." Raven announced, throwing a pencil at the couch. It tumbled over the back, landing on the person laying down; a head soon popping from behind it. 

"The hell, Reyes. I was trying to sleep." 

"Didn't your mom ever tell you not to fall asleep with a lit cigarette? You could start a fire, you know." 

Clarke followed Raven to the other side of the couch, where a few wooden stools sat in a circle in line with the couch. Raven chose to push the man's feet to the side, causing him to sit up, while Clarke opted for one of the stools. She wasn't one for invading personal space. 

"Murphy, meet Clarke. New girl from Seattle. Clarke, meet John Murphy. Asshole of a roommate and Annapolis' resident trash." 

"Fuck you too, Reyes." Raven rolled her eyes. 

"I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, Griffin, but anyone that Raven brings around is usually asking for trouble." Murphy stated, shrugging his shoulders as he ashed his cigarette. Raven pulled the pack from his pocket, causing him to swat at her hand, but she flipped him off in response. 

"Don't be rude," She scoffed, pulling a cigarette out of the pack and lighting it with the lighter from her pocket. She turned to Clarke, the cigarette hanging from her lips, "You smoke?" 

"Oh, uh, no, I don't." 

"You should. It makes dealing with the idiots in this school a lot easier." 

Murphy shoved Raven's shoulder as he shifted in his seat, taking another drag. "Where you from, Griffin?"

"It's Clarke."

"Not what I asked." 

Clarke sighed. "Seattle. Downtown, actually. I used to go to Fox Academy." 

"Academy?" Murphy chided, "Sounds like some pretentious bullshit. Let me guess. Dad's a businessman, or a lawyer. And mom's a stay-at-home cookie cutter type who makes sure dinner is always on the table at six-thirty?" 

"No --"

"Murphy! Be nice to our new friend. She's cool. Listened to me ramble all through Wick's class." 

"That doesn't mean shit. Wick lets you get away with everything." 

"That's because I'm his favorite." 

"Because the guys a perv and wants to get in your pants." 

"Hey -- I'd never let him lay a hand on me." 

"Damn right you won't. I'll kick his ass if he does." 

"Um.." Clarke tried to intervene, not sure how to handle this conversation. 

"Ignore him. He's an asshole." Raven explained, earning another shove from Murphy.

"Says the bitch." 

The two continued to bicker, letting Clarke sit on in silence as she watched. 

\---------

When the last hour of the day rolled around, Clarke was all but eager to head to class. It was a drawing class, the one class she was really looking forward to since she received her schedule. Drawing was her favorite class at Fox; she felt like it was the one class where she could really express herself and take pride in the work she was doing. She met the teacher, Marcus Kane, who preferred to be called Marcus, and soon found herself sitting at a table with three other students. To her left sat a blonde boy, Aden, across from her, a blonde girl named Harper, and next to Harper was a boy named Bryan. 

They were finishing up a project of someone they admire; Marcus had told her to just work in a sketchbook while the other students finished up their projects. He didn't feel like it was fair of him to put the project on her so last minute when she didn't have time to prepare. Personally, Clarke felt like she could do it, but she understood his reasoning. 

As she worked in her sketchbook she found herself glancing over at the work on the table; Bryan seemed to be drawing a football star ( based solely on the fact that there was a football in his hands -- Clarke barely knew anything about sports ), Harper was drawing Jennifer Lawerence, and when she glanced at Aden's work her eyes lit up. He just so happened to be drawing a portrait of Matty Healy, the lead singer of The 1975. 

She tapped the table next to him, getting his attention.

"What's your favorite song by them?" She asked softly, nodding towards the drawing. 

Aden looked at the drawing, then over at Clarke, smiling. " _She's American_. It's got a great vibe to it." 

The blonde nodded, looking between him and the drawing. "Mine is _Somebody Else_. The lyrics really sit with me." 

And that's how she created a bond with another student, and she was glad that this one wasn't formed on two students insulting each other. 

\---------

_**One Week Later.** _

"So. You've been here a week, and I feel like it's my duty to give you the run down of the social cliques in the typical _Mean Girls_ style." Murphy announced, smoking his third cigarette of the lunch period. 

"Oh, joy." Clarke mumbled, crossing her legs. "Alright, hit me." 

"Don't tempt me." 

Raven shoved him. 

"Fuck off. Okay. So, there's the Jocks, or as I like to call them, the Dickheads of Arkadia High." He accented his topics of interest by drawing in the dirt with a stick. The Jocks were accented with a circle. "They consist of Octavia Blake, Lincoln Forrest, Ontari Queen, Roan Queen, Nathan Miller... basically anyone with a jersey of any kind or a cheerleading uniform." 

"At least the uniforms are hot." Raven interjected.

"Yeah, but they're still jerks." Murphy scoffed. "Then you've got the Nerds: Atom Stark, Eric Jackson, Bree Neil, etc. You'll mostly find these guys in the library." This group was also accented by a circle. 

As Murphy continued, Clarke was finding herself less and less interested in the people he was naming off. 

"Next you've got the Band Idiots," He paused, accenting this group with a "D" shape not far from the two circles. "Zoe Monroe, Macallan Anderson... so on so forth. And lastly," He added one more shape, two lines between the "D" and the circles, and it was then that Clarke realized that this was all an excuse for Murphy to draw a dick in the dirt. Raven snorted next to him. 

"You've got the Art Geeks: Harper McIntyre, Emori Rivers, Bryan Weston, Aden Woods --"

"Hey, Aden's cool." Clarke interjected.

"Sure, if you like the loners." Murphy shrugged.

"I'm talking to you two, aren't I?" 

Raven snorted again, "Ouch."

"You didn't tell me blondie's got a backbone, Reyes."

"I figured you'd find out on your own."

Murphy went to make a comeback, but Clarke interrupted him before he could. "What do you mean that Aden's a loner?" 

"I mean, the kid doesn't talk to anyone. He's either got his head always buried in his phone or in a sketchbook. Rumor has it he's a mute." Murphy shrugged, snubbing out his cigarette and immediately pulling out another one.

"Okay, I can personally deny that rumor." Clarke rolled her eyes, "I talk to him all the time. We're in drawing together."

"No shit? You're an art geek?" Raven asked. 

"Is that a problem?"

Raven, ignoring Clarke's question, continued, "Can I see your stuff?" 

Clarke sighed, but nodded, pulling her sketchbook out of her backpack and handed it over to Raven.

"Dude, you're hella good at this. You should draw me a tattoo sometime." 

"Only if you pay me." 

Raven looked at Clarke, then at Murphy, then back at Clarke, "Do you take payments in sex?" 

\-------

Okay guys, for the next few weeks you're going to be working in pairs with the person next to you. You'll be working on a collage of things that inspire you; combining different art styles that you prefer. No profanity, no nudity; basically, make it school appropriate," Marcus explained, writing what he was saying on the chalkboard, "Because at the end of the project, I'll be picking three of your works to be turned into a mural. The three pieces chosen will get to choose from three hallways in the school, and you'll be allowed to transfer your project to the wall. Any questions? No? Get to brainstorming." 

Clarke was quick to turn to Aden, who seemed just as excited about the project as she was. "So, I had a few ideas in mind, but I want to hear what you have in mind first." She offered, already pulling out her sketchbook to take ideas and doodle concept art. Really, Clarke was just glad that they were basically assigned partners and that she wasn't stuck having to work with someone that she didn't really know. And at least this way, she already had a few ideas in mind regarding the way that Aden was drawing the portrait. 

They talked for the rest of the class, already having a rough outline of what they wanted their project to be about. It would be primarily about music, as that they shared a lot of the same favorite artists, and it would cover everything from portraits of musicians to blown up, hand drawn sheet music of some of their favorite songs. 

"Why don't you come over Saturday? I can text you my address and we can work on it at my place. It's usually quiet there anyways, and my mom's cooking is great." Aden explained, grinning as they finished up the outline. The bell rang just as Clarke handed him her phone to put his number in, and as he sent Clarke a text so she would have his number, his phone started ringing. 

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I have to take this. It's my sister. I'll see you Saturday?" He asked, but it was more of a statement than a question. She watched him walk away, pulling up the call, but instead of putting the phone to his ear, it opened a video call. She caught a glimpse of his sister as he walked away, watching as she didn't speak, but used her hands to communicate. Sign language, it seemed. And in the end, it had her more intrigued about going to visit him that Saturday.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets Aden's family, and the two of them grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I was actually overwhelmed with how successful the first chapter of this was. I've only got one more chapter planned out after this one, so updates might not be insanely frequent. I'm glad you guys are interested in this story. 
> 
> If any of you read my other works, Be You isn't being replaced by this one. That one is being planned out far more than I've been writing the actual chapters, and I've been having some writers block with that story in particular.

Aden had sent Clarke a text with his address Saturday morning while she was having breakfast with her parents. It was a rare occasion in the Griffin household; it always was. Her mother tended to work the night shift, and her father worked such long hours that they never really had the chance to sit down and actually have a family meal. They tried to make it a tradition, however, to have breakfast together on a Saturday at least once a month. 

"Already making friends?" Abby asked, passing Jake the syrup. She had noticed how quickly Clarke had checked her phone and seemed to be eager to text the person back. 

"Yeah, actually. That was Aden. He's in my drawing class; we're working together on a project." Clarke explained, slipping her phone under her thigh to keep from distracting her for the rest of breakfast. 

"What's the project on?" 

Clarke turned to her father at the question, smiling brightly. "We have to make a collage of things that inspire us as individuals, but combine them together with our own, personal art styles. Aden and I are into similar things, so I'm pretty excited to work on it." 

She took a few bites of her pancakes. It was her father's personal recipe; the only kind of pancakes she'll usually eat. Most of the time, she's a waffles kind of girl. 

"That sounds wonderful, honey." Jake commented, taking a few bites off his own plate.

"And at the end of the project, Marcus is going to pick a few pieces to be transferred to the hallways as a mural. I'm really hoping that we get picked. Can you imagine how cool that'll be? My work, permanently painted on the hallways of Arkadia?" 

Abby shared a look with Jake, causing the man to smile back at her. She knew that Clarke had a passion for painting; a passion for art in general. And while as Clarke was growing up Abby had always hoped that her daughter would take after her, and head into the medical field, the moment Clarke picked up a paintbrush at the age of three Abby knew that Clarke would make her own path with that small, plastic paintbrush. And she was proud of what her daughter was accomplishing. 

"That's really great, Clarke. What are you and Aden planning to do?" Abby asked.

"Music. Musicians, sheet music, instruments through the ages... We started talking about our music tastes my first day and just kind of clicked." 

"Are we going to meet him someday?" Jake asked, looking at Clarke. 

"Maybe. Maybe I'll bring my other friends by, too. Raven and Murphy, they're... a little much." Clarke shrugged, finishing up her meal. "But I gotta go; if I want to have as much time as possible to work on this thing I should probably head over to Aden's." 

"What time will you be home?" 

"Uhhh..." Clarke paused, looking at her phone then over at her mother. "Probably before dinner? It all depends." 

"Well your father and I are both working late tonight. I'll leave you some cash on the counter for takeout." 

"Sounds like a plan!" The blonde exclaimed, throwing on her jacket before she headed out into the cooler Autumn air.

\---------

Aden had told her in his text that he didn't live too far from the school, and he had proven to be right. He lived on the other side of the school, in the wooded area that Clarke hadn't realized was residential. The Woods' home was big, secluded behind a few trees that made it where if you weren't particularly looking for the house, you probably wouldn't see it. A house enough for a family; a house dosed in privacy. 

She made her way down the decently sized driveway, parking in a spot that she hoped wasn't someone else's and walked up to the front door. She was about to knock, but chose against it when she saw the doorbell on the side of the door. Thinking back to Aden's phone call with his sister, she opted to press the doorbell, hearing it ring out inside.

The person who answered the door, however, wasn't Aden. 

"You must be Clarke. Come inside, Aden's upstairs." The woman greeted her, and Clarke was a little taken aback. "Would you like anything to drink?" 

Clarke furrowed her brow but shook her head, following the woman into the kitchen, "No... No I'm okay."

"Mom, why didn't you tell me Clarke was here?" Aden asked, jogging down the stairs. 

"Oh, hush. She just got here." 

The blonde boy appeared in the kitchen next to Clarke, grinning. "Hey, glad you could come. Clarke, this is my mom, Indra." 

"It's nice to meet you." Clarke held out her hand, but Indra took the next step and pulled Clarke into a hug. "Oh, we're hugging. Okay." 

"Sorry, it's just nice to see Aden bringing friends home. New friends, at least. It's usually just Octavia and Lincoln and half the time I feel like they only come because of my cooking." 

"Mom! That's not true and you know it. They love you." 

"Mhm, sure." 

Clarke shifted in place, unsure of how to react to all of this. The people of Annapolis seemed to be quite interesting. "Uh, may I use your bathroom?" 

Aden pointed her the way, then turned back to his mother. 

_'She's hearing.'_ Indra signed, causing Aden to sigh.

_'I know, mom. But she's okay.'_

_'How do you know? Have you told her?'_ Indra asked. Aden looked to the bathroom, then back to his mother. 

_'No. But I have a good feeling about her. I want to see how she reacts when Lexa comes home.'_

_'What if she reacts poorly?'_

Aden grinned, _'Then she isn't worth my friendship.'_

\-----------

They had been working for what felt like hours, each sketching their own ideas and attempting to put them together on a cork board roughly the same size as the paper they'd be working on. Seeing what fit where, where things worked with each other's drawings and deciding as a team what looked the best. Clarke could hear Indra in the kitchen, presumably making lunch, as well as the ticking of the grandfather clock at the edge of the living room. Aden had been right; it was, for the most part, quiet. 

She looked up from her sketch when she heard the door open, curious as to who was walking in. She didn't know a lot about Aden's family, and she was interested to see who else lived in such a beautiful home. A young girl, presumably her age, walked in along with another girl. Clarke recognized one of them as the pixelated face she had seen earlier that week on Aden's phone. 

"Who's that?" She asked, nudging Aden's shoulder gently. 

"Hm?" He looked up, seeing what Clarke was meaning. "Oh, that's my sister, Lexa. Costia's her girlfriend, and she's a total bitch." 

Clarke gaped, "Wow, you said that pretty loud. What if she heard you?" 

Aden smirked, "She'd have to be able to hear to do that. They're both deaf." 

"And you use that to disrespect your sister's girlfriend?"

Aden shrugged, looking back at his sketchbook. "They do it to me all the time. Don't worry, it's a mutual, loving hateship with Costia." 

"And Lexa?"

"She's my Irish Twin. We're supposed to bicker like that." 

Clarke blinked, "The hell is an Irish Twin?" She looked back at the girls, who seemed to be in their own world, signing to each other. She didn't understand what they were saying, but she was curious as to what they were talking about. 

"Two people born within twelve months of each other. _Technically_ we have to be born by the same parents to make it 'official', but we're close enough that it counts in our books." 

Clarke hummed, temporarily lost in thought. She set her pencil down on her sketchbook, looking over at Aden. "If she's the same age as us, why haven't I seen her at Arkadia? Or Costia?" 

"They go to Polis; it's a school for the deaf on the other side of town. Mom gave us the option when we entered high school, to either go to Polis or Arkadia. Lexa chose Polis, I chose Arkadia." Aden explained, still sketching away. "Hey, do you think this line looks straight enough?" 

"Can't tell, I'm not straight." Clarke shrugged offhandedly, "What do you mean you had the option to go to Polis? You're... y'know, you can hear." 

Aden chuckled, shaking his head. He set his own pencil down and began signing along with his words, "Just because I can talk and _kind of_ hear what you're saying, doesn't mean that I wouldn't be welcome at Polis. I'm hard of hearing. I can... kinda hear, but mostly not. I started losing it in middle school. It's... almost like being underwater, you know?" He began to explain, glancing at his sister in the hallway and waving at her when she looked back at him. "Everything's a mumbled, jumbled mess, mostly really quiet. I know we only share drawing, but in my other classes I wear my hearing aids when the teachers are talking and take them out when I don't need them. Marcus doesn't mind that I don't wear them; he knows that Harper will fill me in on what's going on." 

"But you can hear what I'm saying." Clarke stated, very confused at this ponit. 

"I can hear, Clarke, just not very well. The hearing aids just make it easier for me when I'm placed around the classroom so I don't have to sit in the front row." 

Clarke nodded, understanding a little more. She hadn't realized until now that most of the time when she was talking, Aden was looking at her, or leaning into her. It was so he could understand her words better. 

"So... Is your mom...?" 

Aden chuckled; he was prepared for all these questions. He seemed to embrace them. "No, my mom isn't deaf, or hard of hearing. She's fully hearing. My dad, though, is completely deaf. My older sister, Anya, is hard of hearing as well." 

Clarke was going to ask more questions, but Costia and Lexa chose that moment to join the duo in the living room. 

_'Who's this?'_ Lexa asked, motioning to Clarke. 

"Clarke," Aden spoke, signing along. Clarke realized that the only reason he was speaking as well was so that she wasn't out of the loop. "She's my friend from school. We're working on a project together." 

_'This is the first time she's been here.'_ Lexa signed, and Clarke looked to Aden to interpret. 

"She's saying this is the first time you've been here." Aden explained, turning back to his sister. "I wanted her to meet the family." 

_'Is she hearing?'_

Aden nodded, "Yes, she's hearing. But... she's okay, Lex." 

Clarke nudged Aden's shoulder, "Can she understand what I'm saying if I don't know how to sign?" 

Aden smiled, "Yes, she can. Just look at them directly, and talk normally. Lexa can read lips; I'm actually not sure if Costia can read at all." Costia scoffed, Aden continued. "Don't talk too fast, or too slow." 

"But what if what I'm saying isn't comprehendable?" 

Clarke couldn't see it, but Costia rolled her eyes and started signing right away, _'Why is she talking as if we're not here? Is she inconsiderate or just stupid?'_

"Costia, come on. This is all new to her." Aden interjected, sighing at the girl. 

_'She's making a fool of herself.'_

"What's she saying?" Clarke asked, catching on that Costia was talking about her. 

"She's just being a bitch. Don't mind her." 

Lexa rolled her eyes, _'Costia and I are going to be upstairs. If you need me, text me before you just walk in.'_

Aden nodded, and with that the two of them walked out of the room. Clarke sighed and set her sketchbook down on the coffee table. "Well that was an interesting first impression." 

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. Lincoln messed up a lot at first too, and now he's signing fluently just like us." 

"Lincoln Forrest?" 

"Yeah, he's Octavia's boyfriend. They come over often; Octavia's brother went to school with Anya." 

"At Polis?" 

Aden smiled. "You catch on quick. Shall we continue?" 

\--------------

_**Monday.** _

Clarke had spent most of the weekend unpacking leftover boxes from the garage and decorating her room. She hadn't had a lot of time during her first two weeks, mostly using that time to get back in the swing of things and familiarizing herself with the new town. She was grateful for Monday, however, as that it got her out of the confines of her room. Her parents had worked all day Sunday, and since she didn't want to invite herself over to Aden's house, she spent the day alone. 

It was just before lunch when Clarke ran into Aden leaving one of his classrooms, he hadn't been paying attention to where he was going as that he was too occupied taking the hearing aids out of his ears.

"Oh, hey Clarke." He stated, smiling when he saw her. "What's up?" 

"Do you want to join me for lunch?" She asked, hoping that he'll say yes. She knew that he didn't have a lot of friends, and part of her wanted to prove to Raven and Murphy that he was cool. 

"Sure. Lead the way." 

And she did. She led him in the same pathway Raven had led her previously, all the way to the old, tattered couch behind the bleachers. 

"Is this where you murder me?" Aden asked, glancing around at the run-down area. 

Clarke chuckled, turning towards him. She decided to make that a habit; looking at him when he talked. "No. But I had the same feeling when I first came down here." 

"Ah, look who finally decided to join us." Raven chimed, looking from her stool. "And look who brought a guest." 

Murphy could be heard mumbling from his spot on the couch; a mumble that turned into a groan when Raven, once again, pushed his legs so she could sit down. "Who gave her permission to bring others?" 

Clarke rolled her eyes, but motioned for Aden to sit down on a stool. "He's just an asshole, don't mind him." 

"And blondie's catching on. Aden, right?" Raven asked. 

"Yeah, I'm Aden."

"Raven Reyes. The idiot over there is Murphy." 

Murphy, with the cigarette hanging from his mouth, just like the day Clarke first met him, leaned back on the couch. "Welcome to the loser's club, kid." 

Aden blinked, setting his bag on the ground next to the stool. "I'm pretty sure I'm the same age as you." 

"So? You look twelve." 

"At least I don't look like I went dumpster diving before school." 

Raven snorted and Murphy rolled his eyes, looking at Raven, "Why do you keep inviting the smartasses here? I'm going to lose my image." 

And it was in that moment that Clarke knew Aden was going to fit right in with her new friends.

\---------

Clarke had met up with Aden again on their way to art class, purely by coincidence. They were talking as they walked, mostly about the project. 

"So, I didn't get the chance to ask this on Saturday, but how can you... y'know, hear music? I know you can hear a little bit, but..." 

"It's mostly the bass and drums. I can... feel the vibrations, y'know? And I don't know about you, but muffled or not, Matty Healy's voice is really good." 

Clarke grinned, "I never thought to think of it that way. I usually listen to the lyrics, not the actual beat of it all."

"Well, you learn something new every day." 

"Aden, great! Just the boy I was looking for." Clarke looked over, furrowing her brow at the new person, but one glance at the cheerleading uniform-clad-female gave Clarke enough to know that she was listed under Murphy's _"Jocks"_ category. 

"Hey, Octavia. What's up?" 

The brunette smiled and started talking again, this time signing along with her words. "Have you thought about trying out for the basketball team yet? Lincoln's been wanting me to ask you." Clarke watched as her hands moved fluently, and she couldn't help but wonder how much practice it took to become so fluent in sign language. 

"You know I can't, O. Maybe you could ask Clarke about the girls team, though. Octavia, meet Clarke Griffin." 

Octavia looked over to Clarke, seeming to acknowledge her for the first time. She glanced Clarke up and down, seemingly satisfied, but Clarke was quick to shoot her down. 

"Sorry, I don't play sports. But it's nice to meet you." 

"Hm, bummer." Octavia sighed, then turned back to Aden. "Well, if you change your mind -- either of you -- don't hesitate to call. Aden has my number." 

Octavia walked away, and Clarke turned to Aden for an explanation. 

"Raven told me she's a bitch; she didn't seem very bitchy there." 

"Oh, trust me. She can be a bitch at times. But she's nice to me, mostly because of her brother." 

Clarke nodded, "So what is this about basketball...?"

"Bellamy, her brother, played basketball at Polis. I used to play with him in our backyard from time to time. Lincoln found this out and the two of them have been trying to get me to try out for the team. Wanting me to... fit in, I guess." 

"And you don't want to?" 

"I don't feel the need to. I play basketball for fun, but music is my passion. That, and art. Why start something I don't plan on making a career out of?" 

Clarke nodded, fully understanding what he meant. She felt the same when her mom would occasionally bring up med school, but she knew that, for the most part, her own mother was teasing. 

They went through art class fairly easy, and when it came time to pack up Aden stopped Clarke from leaving. "Do you want to come over again? The sooner we get the sketches figured out, the sooner we can make sure we get that mural." He smirked, walking alongside the blonde. 

"Sure, that sounds like a plan." 

Since Aden usually walked to school, Clarke offered to drive him home. She had a feeling that the drive to Aden's house would become one that she'd know by heart by the end of the semester, but she didn't mind it all that much. Aden was cool; he was slowly becoming her best friend even after knowing him for such a short amount of time. And she was looking forward to getting to know him, and by extent his family, more. 

When they entered the Woods' home, Clarke could hear someone in the kitchen and her first assumption was Indra, up until she heard the soft, almost frustrated, humming. It didn't sound like the woman she had met on Saturday. She followed Aden inside, and found out that it was Lexa. The girl looked up when Aden tapped the counter and smiled, a welcoming smile. She signed something to the boy and Aden turned back to Clarke, "Why don't you go get set up? Lex wants to talk to me for a moment." 

Clarke nodded and left the two of them alone. 

_'You brought her home again? She must be special.'_ Lexa smirked, setting down the bowl she was mixing. 

_'Shut up. We're just working on a project together.'_

_'Clarke and Aden, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G~'_ The brunette teased, causing Aden to slap her shoulder. 

_'Lexa, please. She's still getting settled. She's just a friend.'_

_'Mhm, sure.'_

Aden rolled his eyes. Lexa went to mix again, but Aden tapped the table. _'Just because I'm spending time with her doesn't mean we're automatically dating.'_

_'Right, sure. Because that's totally not how Costia and I started dating. You start off hanging out, then you're cuddling, and the next thing you know you're making out on the couch.'_

_'I don't like her like that, okay?'_

Lexa sighed, but nodded. She knew when she was taking her teasing a bit too far. She pushed the bowl to the side and turned to her brother, her expression serious. _'Do you like_ anyone _at that hearing school?'_

_'Not really. Most of them are assholes. I'm fine where I am.'_

_'Whatever you say.'_

Aden swallowed, glancing at the bowl. _'What're you making, anyways?'_

_'I'm trying to make a cake. This is my third attempt.'_

Aden chuckled, walked over to the cupboards and pulled out a book, handing it to Lexa. _'Here's mom's recipe. Now if you don't mind, I have a project to get to.'_

_'Don't do anything I wouldn't do.'_

\-----------

"So, she doesn't like me." Clarke concluded as she held up a sketch to the cork board. "What about this one, here?"

"Try the bottom left corner. It might fit better there." Aden suggested, looking over at her. "What do you mean she doesn't like you?"

"You two were in there talking for a little bit." Clarke shrugged, pinning the sketch to the board. "No, okay. Try putting yours in that corner instead." 

Aden took the suggestion and nodded, "That's better. She... actually seems to like you. She was just being that slightly older sister." 

"I wouldn't know, I don't have siblings." 

"They're a pain in the ass."

Clarke laughed, "So I've heard." 

"She'll warm up to you more with time." 

They worked in silence for a little while longer before Clarke spoke again, "How long do you think it'll take for me to learn sign?" 

Aden paused his sketch, gaping at Clarke. "Are you serious?" 

Clarke nodded.

"Ah.. I don't know. Probably a little while to be completely fluent. Lincoln even messes up sometimes and he's been signing for like... four years? Something like that." 

"I think I can do it. I've always wanted to learn a second language and what better time to start than now?" 

Aden grinned, shaking his head as he brought his hands up to sign, hoping Clarke would catch on to which words went with what sign, "You're something else, Clarke Griffin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it may seem like this story is going in a different direction but I assure you that Clarke and Aden will always be just friends. It's going to be a slow burn guys, and for Clarke and Lexa to get close she has to get closer with Aden first.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes to a homecoming party at the local university. She ends up hanging out with the people she'd least expect to.

**_Friday._ **

Aden had joined the little group for the past week, and each day Clarke learned more and more about him. She learned that Aden's parents, while his mother is home far more often than her father, owned a gym in town, called "Delinquent's Arena". Indra handled a lot of the business aspects, where his father, Nyko, did most of the training. Aden told them that it was easier to focus on what the "students" were doing right and wrong, because he couldn't hear them complaining. It brought a laugh out of all of them. 

"What about you, Griff? What do your parents do? You never answered me when I asked if daddy's a big laywer-man or whatever." Murphy asked, doodling in the dirt with a stick. He did that often; doodled shapes in the dirt. It seemed more like a clutch for him; much like his cigarettes. 

"My mom's a nurse at Annapolis General. My dad works for Jaha, Inc." Clarke shrugged, as if it was no big deal. To her, it wasn't. She always grew up around Thelonious and his business, and because of that she was friends with his son, Wells. He was a few years older than her, but that didn't stop them from being close. 

She should call him sometime. Niylah, too. But now wasn't a time to get sentimental about her friends back in Seattle. 

"No shit? So your dad just casually works for one of the biggest parent companies in the country?" Raven asked. Clarke could hear the non-belief in her voice. 

"Yeah. He's head of design over. Thelonious asks him to build stuff, and he designs it." 

"So you really are rolling in daddy's money." Murphy snorted. "That explains your wardrobe." 

Clarke looked down at her outfit, suddenly self-conscious about what she was wearing. Murphy wasn't wrong; she dressed a lot differently than the other three. While Raven wore skinny jeans and a old bomber jacket, Clarke's outfit was similar, but at one glance at it and she could tell that Raven's outfits were at least fifty dollars cheaper than her own, if not more. In art class, Aden usually used his own tools, but his seemed to be the cheapest option at the store. Meanwhile, Clarke's collection of art tools was made with the finest of hairs and wood. She blinked at the realization, then looked between her friends. 

"Is it really that obvious?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Murphy and Raven were silent for once, so she looked to Aden for his opinion. 

"Kind of? I mean -- a lot of people here wear and use expensive things. So you're not alone." 

"The most expensive shit I've seen these assholes wear is Hollister, dude. The shit Clarke wears? Probably that Prada shit." Murphy scoffed, shaking his head. "Is it a bad thing? No. But it's obvious you're a little more loaded than the rest of us, Griff." 

Clarke sighed, pushing a strand of hair from her face. She hadn't realized how obvious it was that she came from money. It was all she really knew -- everyone at Fox Academy came from money. Niylah's father was the best surgeon in Washington; her mother a senator. Finn Collins was the only son of a lawyer and a professional baseball player. All she knew was money; she never had to struggle when it came to anything. It was starting to make sense why a lot of people didn't talk to her at Arkadia -- they probably thought she was stuck up. She wouldn't be surprised if her outfits alone put off that vibe. 

"Hey, listen. Nobody cares, alright? Except maybe Cage Wallace, but the guy has his head shoved so far up his father's ass that he doesn't notice anything but his own reflection. You're good." Murphy tried, noticing Clarke's discomfort. 

"Wow, you _actually_ may have a heart deep in that cold soul of yours." 

Raven snorted at Clarke's rebuttal. She couldn't help it; Clarke was funny. 

"In other news, Mountain U is having a _ton_ of parties this weekend for Homecoming. Couple of friends of mine invited me to come out. You guys down?" Murphy asked, looking between the three. "That includes you, Woods."

"Mountain U, huh? Who're your friends?" 

"Jasper Jordan, Monty Green. They graduated last year. Idiotic stoners, but hey, a guy needs friends. Why?" 

"Do they know Bellamy Blake?" 

"Hell if I know. I don't keep track of what shit they get into." Murphy shrugged, lighting up another cigarette. Clarke wondered how he was able to smoke so much in one sitting. "Are you down or not?" 

The group nodded, and their plans for the night were set. They met up in the school parking lot, Raven being the DD for the night. Clarke wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to drink -- she wasn't an avid drinker to begin with -- but Raven insisted that Clarke "let loose", especially after their conversation earlier that day. Murphy had called it Clarke "proving herself to run with the dogs" or something of the sort. She didn't feel like she had to prove anything to her friends, but she went along with it anyways. 

They arrived at Mountain University shortly after seven, with Murphy guiding Raven in the direction of his friends. It seemed like they were jumping from fraternity to fraternity, with Monty and Jasper being the ringleaders of the night. Really, Clarke couldn't be less interested in the party itself, but she followed along, taking in the surroundings of the university. She had briefly read up on Mountain University before she arrived in Annapolis; it was the closest big-name college to the city. If she decided to stay close to home after graduating, it'd probably be the university she'd go to. 

They met up with Jasper and Monty fairly quickly. The two of them were sat by a fire, surrounded by a few other students, each with a red cup in their hands. It was very stereotypical of a frat party. Murphy and Raven sat down next to Jasper and Monty right away, but Aden nudged Clarke before she could sit down. 

"What's up?" She asked, looking at her friend. 

"This is Bellamy's fraternity. I'm going to try and find him. You'll be okay, right?" He asked. 

Clarke nodded, "I'll be okay. Text me if you can't find him." 

With that, Aden walked away, leaving Clarke with the rest of the group. 

She learned right away that Jasper and Monty were one in the same. They shared a couple joints, passing them between the group around the firepit. Clarke declined, earning a subtle "lameass" from Murphy as she passed it along to the girl next to her. It wasn't that she was against getting high; she had a feeling that Raven wasn't going to be able to drive later. And as the other brunette took a long drag off one of the joints, passing it along to Murphy with a dopey grin, Clarke felt like she was going to have to drive them home later. 

It was around the time that Jasper suggested they play "Never Have I Ever" that Clarke excused herself from the group, going to find the drink table. When she found it, she sighed, seeing that there wasn't many options for those not looking to get wasted that night. Instead of snooping around in the nearby coolers, she picked a water bottle up from a small tub full of ice and opened it, finding the contrasting cool drink compared to the warm fire refreshing.

She didn't want to go back to the firepit, however. Not yet, at least. She instead opted to just stand by the drinks, watching as frat boy after frat boy ( and the occasional sorority sister ) come and go, each holding various drinks in their hands. She was about to give up and go home when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. Turning towards the person, a smile took over her face. 

"Lexa, hey."

Lexa grinned, _'Is that all they have for the DD's?'_

Furrowing her brow, Clarke tried to understand. She had been picking up a few words from Aden here and there, but she had yet to learn as much as she possibly could. She did, however, pick out a few things from what Lexa had said; "have" and "DD". "Oh -- for the designated drivers?" She asked, pointing to the water in her hands. Clarke nodded. "I think so. There might be other things in the coolers, but I wasn't about to snoop around." 

She made sure to face the brunette as she spoke. Lexa nodded, turned towards a random cooler and opened it, revealing a small variety of virgin drinks. 

"Well I'll be damned..." Clarke trailed off, not realizing she had said that out loud. Lexa laughed. 

"You find this funny," She paused, trying to remember the sign Aden had used days ago for "funny", then continued, "don't you?" 

Lexa grinned and shook her head, offering Clarke a choice of a soda or a sparkling juice, Clarke opted for the latter. After Clarke took the offered drink, Lexa paused before she got her own, _'Sometimes you just have to be brave.'_

"What?" 

_'Brave.'_ Lexa repeated, setting her drink down on top of the cooler. She thought a moment, and when Clarke still didn't understand what she was saying, proceeded to pretend like she was a hero to get her point across. 

"You're... a warrior? What?" 

Lexa laughed and shook her head, opting instead to fingerspell. _'B-R-A-'_

"Oh! Brave?" Clarke asked, mimicking the motion from before. Lexa nodded and grinned, picking her drink back up. 

"Didn't realize I was so good at charades." 

They stood there talking for a little bit longer ( Clarke did the talking; Lexa taught Clarke a few signs here or there while Clarke tried to guess what the brunette was saying beforehand ). As the space around them got darker, the two of them ended up standing closer together in order for Lexa to read Clarke's lips by the light of the nearest lantern. 

"So... Why aren't you drinking?" Clarke asked, using one of the signs she thought for _sure_ she knew. 

_'I am.'_

Clarke, confused, asked again. "No, like... A-L-C-O-H-O-L?" 

Lexa smiled, _'I know,'_ She paused, allowing Clarke to catch on. _'This, is drink. But this, is drink alcohol.'_ Lexa had to have done two different signs, but to Clarke, they looked the same. She thought about it for a moment, but she must've took too long because before she knew it, Lexa had taken one of Clarke's hands in her own. 

She made the "C" shape that Clarke had used for "drink", and signed what she had said before again. And then put down Clarke's ring and pinky finger, showing the difference between the signs. 

Clarke blamed the fact that she couldn't tell how different the two were on how dark it was. 

She looked back up at Lexa, noticing how close they were. And she hadn't had any alcohol, but she had this drunk feeling running through her veins. 

The moment was ruined by a pair of hands snaking around Lexa's midsection. 

Costia seemed to appear out of nowhere. 

_'Babe, Octavia wants us to play beer pong. Come on, let's go.'_

Clarke didn't have a chance to tell Costia that Lexa wasn't drinking before the brunette was whisked away by her girlfriend. 

Sighing, she turned back to sit with her friends, who all seemed to be long gone by that point. Raven, still without a red cup of her own, was giggling as she curled into Murphy, clearly stoned along with the others. The blonde tried to ignore the bad feeling she was getting.

She was quiet as she sat next to a short redhead who seemed to be on her third cup of alcohol of the night. She could smell the girl's breath from where she sat; Clarke wasn't even drinking and she could feel the hangover the girl was going to have the next day. Clarke just hoped the girl would be safe getting home, or back to wherever she was staying. 

"I don't think this could ever top high school homecoming." Clarke mumbled, looking down at her virgin drink. It was almost gone, but she hadn't felt like getting up to get another one yet. She had said it under her breath, but Murphy heard her. 

"Arkadia's homecoming always sucks. Just an excuse for the jocks and nerds to grind on each other for hours only to act like nothing ever happened the next day. I went as a freshman and haven't been to one since." Murphy shrugged, sipping from the almost-full drink in his hands. It was his first one. If it wasn't for the way his eyes almost glowed red from the hits he had taken from the joints, Clarke would assume he was completely sober. 

"Why not go this year? It's your last year." 

"Because like I said, it's stupid as hell." 

Clarke was about to interject, but a large guy standing nearby did it for her. 

"Just because you find it stupid doesn't mean others do. Some spent a lot of time making it the way it is." He stated, a small hint of bitterness playing on his tongue.

"Ah, and the mute giant speaks. Why not run along to your girlfriend before she finds a nice college guy, eh?" Murphy snarled, rolling his eyes as he took another drink. Clarke had assumed the guy was in college, but the way Murphy spoke as if he knew him, it seemed that the guy went to Arkadia. 

"Murphy, lay off." Clarke replied, shaking her head at her friend. 

"Why? It's assholes like him that are the reason people like us are at the bottom of the social pole." 

"That doesn't mean you take it out on any person in groups other than yours. Did _he_ do anything to you?" Clarke asked, crossing her arms. 

"Well, no, but --" 

"Then shut the hell up." The blonde huffed, standing as she tossed her can in the pile of other cans nearby. She made her way back to the drinks table, fully planning on getting herself another drink. She just needed some fresh, non-marijuana infused air. 

"Thank you for standing up for me back there." The guy from before stated, slowly approaching Clarke. He had an empty bottle in his hands; at closer glance Clarke saw that it was another non-alcoholic drink. He opened the cooler, pulled out a few drinks, and handed one of the three to Clarke. "I'm Lincoln."

The blonde realized that this was the infamous boyfriend of Octavia Blake; the one that Murphy swore was a complete asshole. But based on her brief interaction with him, she could judge that he was the opposite of that.

"It's no problem," Clarke replied, "Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Murphy's an asshole, but even I know when to get him to shut up." She spoke as if she knew Murphy for longer than a month, but she didn't see Raven stand up for Lincoln, either. 

"Lincoln nodded, falling silent for a moment. "Could I... Do you want to come hang out with people that neither of us would view as assholes?" 

\-------------

Lincoln had led Clarke inside the frat house, where only a few students had congregated. There was a few couples here or there making out in corners, but for the most part there was one solid group in the middle of the house. Lincoln walked forward to the group, handing the second virgin drink in his hands to a familiar face -- Aden. 

"Hey, Aden." She smiled, glad that she had seen him again. She looked around the rest of the group and for the most part, she recognized all but one face. 

"Clarke. Aden told me you'd be here. This is my brother, Bellamy." Octavia signed as she spoke; the wine cooler she was drinking currently nursed between her thighs. Clarke wondered how cold it was but shrugged it off. 

She turned to her brother -- Bellamy -- and waved a small hello, giving a very clumsy version of the sign for "nice to meet you". Bellamy seemed to appreciate it, then took off signing at a faster pace --

"Woah, okay -- I only know a little bit, sorry." 

Luckily, Aden was there to translate. 

"He was just saying how it was nice to see more people who knew to sign." Aden chuckled, turning to Bellamy, "She's still learning, but she'll get there." 

She found herself enjoying her brief time with this group a lot more than she was enjoying her time with Murphy's group. Whereas that group was entirely under some sort of influence, Aden's group was mostly sober aside from Octavia, Costia, and Lexa, who all had an alcoholic drink in her hands. Clarke frowned upon realizing it; she had thought that Lexa was going to stay sober as well. 

She was trying to keep up with the conversation, as well as pay attention to the signing going on so she could catch on to certain signs, but she was finding the multi-tasking difficult. Lincoln, Aden, and Lexa were slower with their signs, and Bellamy proved to be _trying_ to go slower for the sake of Clarke keeping up, but it seemed like Costia and Octavia didn't notice that Clarke was struggling. 

After Bellamy had nudged his sister, Octavia looked to Clarke to see how she was frantically looking between everyone. "Sorry if I'm going too fast," She admitted, taking the moment to sip from her drink, "I've been signing my whole life. Sometimes it's hard to slow down." 

As Costia continued the conversation with the others, Clarke found herself having her own conversation with Octavia. 

"So you grew up signing?" Clarke asked. 

"Kind of," Octavia paused, turning towards Clarke so that the blonde could see the motions that Octavia was making with her hands. "As soon as I was old enough to understand that Bell couldn't hear me, he started teaching me sign. My parents, too." 

"And, Lincoln?" She asked. Lincoln glanced at them at the mention of his name. 

"When we started dating as freshmen, he learned the basics to show how serious he was about me. He wanted to impress my family." 

"If I could easily talk to all of her family without making a fool of myself, I feel like they'd see how much I respect them." Lincoln explained from the other side of Octavia. 

It was in that moment that Clarke realized that Murphy's assumptions of Octavia and Lincoln couldn't be more wrong. 

They eventually joined back in the group conversation, but this time almost everyone ( everyone but Costia ) was adapting so Clarke could keep up. Anything she couldn't figure out on her own, Aden would translate, but she felt like she was doing an okay job for not knowing a lot of signs. At some point, Costia shook her head and stood. 

_'This is stupid. I'm not putting in extra work to make sure some hearie is comfortable.'_ The girl signed, looking around the group. 

_'Cos, don't be like that...'_ Lexa tried. 

_'Why not? They never adapt to us. And face it, Lexa. She may be trying now but sooner or later she's going to realize it's "too hard" and give up. Just like everyone else.'_

She huffed and walked away, leaving the group speechless. 

Aden sighed and shook his head, leaning into Clarke. "I'm... sorry about her. She's just not the most comfortable around people who don't sign. She gets frustrated." 

Clarke nodded, turning to Lexa. "Are you going to go after her?" 

Lexa shook her head, _'She needs to calm down. She'll be back.'_

The group fell silent; the previous carefree mood now gone. It was like that for a few moments, none of them knowing what to say. Clarke felt like it was her fault; like she had caused that. 

Aden cleared his throat suddenly, making those that could hear him, jump. It was a sudden change to the soft music that could be heard from outside. "Hey, Clarke... Why don't you tell us about Seattle?" 

"Seattle? Wow, you moved pretty far." 

And just like that, Costia's departure was forgotten.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up an hour or so where the last chapter left off. Clarke hangs out with Aden and the Jocks, and then has dinner with the Woods family. Clexa progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, this is probably my favorite chapter thus far. It's kind of a filler one in some parts, but there's an interaction here that's my favorite out of the ones I've planned out. Hope you all enjoy.

**_Friday Night._ **

Aden was dropping her off that night. She had tried to get Raven and the group to leave, but they had all passed out by the time the music was starting to dwindle down. For half a second, Clarke had forgotten that Raven was supposed to be the DD of the night. Lincoln had offered to drive Clarke home for Aden, knowing that he wasn't the best at driving at night, but the blonde boy insisted that he could do it. Octavia had wanted Lincoln to stay with her at the party anyways. 

Lexa and Costia were in the backseat. She glanced back at them periodically through the reflection in the windshield; Lexa's phone screen brightness was turned down but just bright enough so that the couple could read each other's hands as they talked drunkenly; mis-signing words here or there and laughing about it. 

Lexa was right when she said that Costia always came back. 

Clarke wasn't sure why she was feeling melancholy in that moment. She was having fun at the party; Octavia proved to be rather kind-hearted and Lincoln had a great sense of humor. Bellamy was nice enough; always offering to get her another drink if she wanted. It was a nice change from the consistent bickering that came with Raven and Murphy. She enjoyed spending time with them, but time to time throughout the night she kept thinking back to the words they had told her earlier that day. 

Was she really so different just because she came from money? 

She leaned her head against the window of Lexa's car. It was cold against her forehead; a welcoming touch compared to the heat blowing jasmine air freshener throughout the vehicle.

The car was silent. A little too silent for Clarke's liking; she wasn't sure how anyone could handle the constant silence. All she could hear was the car driving; the tires on the streets that soon led them into downtown Annapolis. They'd be passing by the coffee shop soon. 

The lights were out in the coffee shop. Clarke wasn't surprised; it was dawning in on two AM.

She wanted to start a conversation with Aden. Wanted to talk; to break the silence. But he didn't have his hearing aids in, and it was too dark and dangerous for him to look at her to understand what she was saying. Instead, she tapped her finger against the side of her leg to create a soft tapping noise. It was better than the looming silence. 

It felt like the drive up to her house was taking a lot longer than it should. They passed by the trees that were more like shadows leading up to the house that she had very recently called home. The headlights from Lexa's car showed that her parents weren't home. She was expecting it; her mother had sent her a text at some point during the night saying that she had to go in. Her father wouldn't be home, either. He was staying in Washington D.C. for the next week while he and Jaha talked about more business stuff. Stuff he didn't share with her; stuff he hadn't shared with her since she was ten. 

She let out a sigh as Aden put the car in park and turned the light on. 

"Did you have fun tonight?" He asked, completely oblivious to the thoughts running through her head. 

She nodded, "Yeah, I did. It was... nice." 

Aden smiled, a lopsided grin as he glanced towards the backseat. Clarke's eyes followed, seeing Costia and Lexa curled up together, Lexa's phone forgotten on the open side of the seat. 

"I should probably get them home, but..." Aden started, turning back towards Clarke. "Octavia is working on floats for homecoming on Monday after school. You should come. Who knows, maybe she can finally talk you into joining the basketball team." 

He was teasing; it caused her to smile. He always seemed to know how to lighten the mood. 

"Yeah, okay. Just text me the details and I'll be there." 

Spending time with Aden and Octavia was better than being alone in her house. 

That was one thing she wasn't looking forward to that night. 

She let Aden take the girls home, having him promise to text her when they arrived at his house. She watched as he pulled out of her driveway and down the road, a sigh leaving her lips as she turned towards her big, empty house. The house that her father's money had bought her; the house that suddenly seemed a little too big for their small family of three. 

The key slid effortlessly into the lock. If there was one thing her mother never forgot to do, it was lock the door when she left. 

The house was dark. A bit too dark for comfort; she turned on a light. The hallway lit up, revealing the various entrances to different rooms and the staircase. Clarke's feet seemed to move on their own as she walked into the kitchen, turning on more lights as she went. 

There was takeout from the night before in the fridge. She hadn't finished it last night; she was too busy working on a solo art piece for her portfolio. She didn't hesitate to pull it out, put it on a plate and stick it in the microwave. It was a routine by this point. 

Back in Seattle, she was used to this. She wouldn't think twice about it. She spent most of her life by herself or with a Nanny until she was old enough to stay home by herself. She would usually end up calling Niylah, the girl would come over and they'd spend time watching movies or gossiping or working on different school projects. It worked, because Niylah was used to it too. 

Now, she just felt really alone. 

She hadn't meant for Murphy's words to sit so deep with her. But they resonated, and they sat, and as she looked around the house she stood in she realized just how true they were. All she knew was money. And frankly, she wanted to change that somehow. But she wasn't sure how. 

Instead of dwelling on it, she took her Chinese food and walked up the stairs to the room next to her own; the room her father had insisted they turn into a small art studio for her. 

\----------------

_**Monday.** _

Aden had offered to drive Clarke to Octavia's house after school, so the blonde forwent her usual coffee and drive to school. She walked that morning, and while it was a little cold she appreciated the change of pace. Instead of the short drive that usually lasted one or two blastings of whatever top 40s song was playing on the radio, the walk was longer; taking up a fair amount of her phone's music library playing through headphones. She liked it. 

She hadn't sat with Raven and Murphy at lunch that day. Instead, Aden suggested they go off-campus for lunch with Octavia and Lincoln. She took his offer; they went to a diner downtown. It was the first day since she moved that she actually ate lunch. 

After school, Aden took her over to the Blake household. It was around the same size as the Woods' house; well-loved and enough to fit a family of four. As she and Aden left the car Clarke could hear music coming from the backyard, followed by the occasional laugh and loud rustling of paper. Clarke was about to knock on the door, but Aden let himself right in, laughing at the look Clarke gave him. 

"It's like a second home. C'mon, they're all in the back." 

He led her through the house into the backyard, where a handful of football players and cheerleaders were standing around their separate floats. It looked almost like something straight out of a teen drama; stereotypical school-colors plastered everywhere as the dubbed "jocks" added tissue paper and streamers to the edges of wooden trailers. 

Clarke never felt more out of place. 

But Aden; Aden seemed to fit right in. He walked up to Octavia, giving her a hug and doing the same with Aden before he went to work with the football team. It seemed like most of them got along with the boy; all engaging in easy-going conversation and speaking at a pace to where he could understand. 

He had clearly done this before. 

"Clarke! Come help us!" Octavia called, motioning for Clarke to walk over to her. When the blonde did, Octavia continued, "You're creative, right?" 

"Uh, yeah?" 

"Great. We need to design our float to make it look a _lot_ better than the football one." Octavia explained, handing Clarke a roll of green streamers. 

"Is this a competition?" 

"Not... _exactly,_ " Octavia paused. 

"Every year, the cheerleaders and football players go head-to-head on their own to make the best float, best homecoming outfits, the whole deal. It's nothing _official_ , but at the end of homecoming week the teachers vote on which team they feel did the best during the week and the winner gets bragging rights and a free meal at the pizzeria in town. It's a tradition." 

Clarke turned to the brunette who started speaking, eyebrows raised. "That sounds like a lot." 

Octavia rolled her eyes and handed Clarke a roll of tape, "Ontari actually gave you the simplest explanation. It's just a little fun before the boys have the big game." She shrugged, sticking strips of crinkled colored cardboard along the bars of the trailer. "We do it all again -- kind of -- for basketball season, but that's more between the girls and boys basketball teams. No floats, either. And if you do well with this, it's even more of a reason for you to join us this year." 

Clarke rolled her eyes but began making designs with the streamers, making pom-pom shapes in the green and gold streamers. "I already told you Octavia, I'm not really into sports. I'm more of an art person." 

"That's the same excuse Aden gives Lincoln every year. It's a shame, we could always use more players." 

The conversation was kept light after that. They finished roughly around five for the day, making plans to do it all again the next day. Clarke wasn't sure if she would be able to come, but the grin that Aden had when she said she'd think about it was worth it. 

"Do you want to come over for dinner?" Aden asked, looking down at his phone as they walked to his car. He looked up before he opened his door, wanting to see Clarke's answer. 

"Uh, sure. Is your mom okay with that?" 

"She's the one who asked."

That's what led her to having dinner at the Woods' place. And Clarke was actually looking forward to it. Because of her father's trip, they weren't able to have their weekly breakfast on Saturday so she was itching for that family-like feeling. It seemed that Indra liked her enough to invite her over, and she was grateful for that. It meant that she was making a good first impression. 

When they got to his house, Indra was finishing up dinner and Lexa was setting the table. Clarke looked around, but there wasn't a Costia in sight. She let out a small sigh of relief; she wasn't sure how much of Lexa's girlfriend she could handle, especially after the scene she had caused at the party. She offered to help, but Indra had shut her down, saying that she was a guest and guests were supposed to relax before dinner. 

Clarke wasn't complaining. 

Dinner went smoothly. Clarke ended up meeting Nyko, Aden and Lexa's father, and he was just as charming and friendly as Indra was. Seeing the way that Indra and Nyko interacted with each other just made Clarke ache for her own parents again, but she knew there wasn't anything she could do about that. 

Her parents were busy. They always had been. 

After dinner, Clarke, Lexa and Aden settled in the living room to watch a movie or two. Aden had picked the movie; it was some sci-fi movie that Clarke couldn't focus on. She was back to thinking about the things in her life that had just seemed normal to her before. The way her parents interacted; the size of her house and the clothes she owned. It was all normal to her, but she knew it wasn't normal to others. She lost her train of thought by halfway through the movie, when Aden stood up and apologized. 

"I didn't realize how tired I was until I started falling asleep in dad's chair. Do you think you can take Clarke home?" He asked Lexa, the sleep evident in his eyes. He had already taken out his hearing aids; they dangled around his neck like headphones. 

_'I can, yeah. She just has to tell me when she wants to leave.'_

Clarke watched Lexa's hands move, then turned to Aden, "You get that?" He asked her, waiting patiently. 

She had gotten the gist of it. "Yeah, I did. Thanks for taking me to Octavia's today. I had fun." 

"I'm glad. But I'll see you guys tomorrow, yeah? Have a nice night." 

Clarke watched as Aden went upstairs, but she still couldn't focus on the movie. The disinterested look in Lexa's eyes told her that Lexa wasn't really interested either. She leaned over and tapped the brunette's arm, getting her attention. 

"Doesn't it get frustrating having to use subtitles all the time?" She asked, gesturing to the television that was, in fact, playing subtitles despite her being able to clearly hear the audio. 

Lexa shrugged, _'Yeah, but I've learned to deal. I don't expect everything to be adaptable. Besides, there's a handful of movies out there that are signing only.'_

"I... got a majority of that." Clarke sighed; she really needed to sit down and focus on learning more sign. "I think a signing-only movie would be cool to watch."

Lexa looked at the television, then back at Clarke, _'Why don't we watch one now?'_

Clarke furrowed her brow but Lexa stood, walking over to the television. She removed the disc from the DVD player and instead, put in a movie of her own. It only took a matter of moments before the title to a movie called "Deafula" popped up on the screen.

"D-E-A-F-U-L-A?" Clarke asked, fingerspelling along. 

Lexa grinned and made fangs with her fingers, imitating a vampire, then made the sign for "deaf". 

"So it's a deaf Dracula movie?" 

Lexa nodded and sat back down, patting the seat next to her, insisting on Clarke scooting closer. 

This movie was a lot more interesting to Clarke than the other one. She loved the original Dracula, and seeing it in a perspective that Lexa completely understood but Clarke didn't was really eye-opening. There were subtitles, for those who couldn't understand sign language, and the quality wasn't the best, but it was something that was soley made for those who couldn't hear. And Clarke was intrigued by all of it. 

\------

Neither girl anticipated falling asleep on the couch during the movie. 

Really, Clarke hadn't even realized that she had done it. She woke up to the smell of waffles in the air, with Lexa's arm around her. She was tucked into the brunette's side, a position she didn't remember getting into. It was odd, yet comfortable. Blinking, she looked above her, seeing Lexa's head leaning against the back of the couch with her lips parted ever so slightly; her chest rising and falling in time with her breathing. Clarke could feel that more than she could see it. 

A shuffle from the kitchen got her attention away from Lexa and upon looking away, she saw Indra standing in the doorway. 

"Oh good, you're awake. I'm making breakfast; feel free to help yourself." Indra told her, and Clarke nodded and smiled in response. 

"Thank you, Mrs. Woods." 

"Call me Indra, Clarke. Could you wake Lexa for me?" 

The blonde nodded and Indra disappeared back into the kitchen. 

Really, Clarke didn't want to wake Lexa. The brunette was peaceful; undisturbed by anything. With every shift Clarke made Lexa's arm would hold her tighter, as if she was afraid of Clarke getting up and leaving.

She found it endearing. She knew she shouldn't. 

Lexa probably thought that she was Costia. 

Gently, she removed herself from Lexa's hold and nudged the girl until her eyes open. It took a moment for Lexa to become aware of her surroundings, but upon seeing Clarke next to her her eyes widened a moment. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and yawned, shifting on the couch. 

_'Sorry for falling asleep on you.'_

Clarke smiled softly, shrugging. "Don't worry about it. I fell asleep too." She repeated the signs that Lexa had said, assuming it meant what she had said too. 

The two of them made their way into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table for breakfast. It reminded Clarke of the breakfasts she had with her parents, but it seemed that the Woods family did this every morning instead of every Saturday. She tried not to feel as if she were missing out on something big. 

Aden came down the stairs a few moments later; his hair rustled from sleep and his t-shirt wrinkled, yet slightly tucked into his checkered pj pants. 

"Oh, Clarke. I didn't know you were coming over this early." He stated, taking a seat at the table. 

Before Clarke could respond, Lexa interjected, _'She never left. We fell asleep watching Deafula.'_

Aden eyed them, but didn't say anything further.

\-------------

_'You can borrow some of my clothes, if you want. I think we're roughly the same size.'_ Lexa offered after they finished cleaning up the table. 

Clarke blinked, furrowed her brows, "I can... what? Jazz hands? Oh! -- Clothes?" 

Lexa chuckled, nodding. 

"Yeah, that'd be.. really nice actually. Thank you." 

After getting dressed, Aden offered to drive Lexa to school because they were ahead of schedule. Clarke didn't mind the extra drive; a part of her was excited to see Polis. She sat in the backseat while Lexa and Aden sat in the front, chatting the best they could as Aden drove. This time, Clarke didn't mind the silence. It was light, it was calm. It was a nice change compared to Friday night. 

When they dropped Lexa off, Clarke wasn't surprised to see Costia waiting for the brunette in front of the school. She watched as Lexa pecked the girls lips and took her hand, almost as if she didn't realize that she had fallen asleep holding Clarke. It sparked a sense of confusion in the blonde. 

"So, everyone there is deaf?" She asked, wanting to get out of her thoughts. 

"Or hard of hearing, yeah." 

Clarke nodded, looking at the school then back at Aden. "I didn't realize there was so many deaf kids in Annapolis." 

Aden shrugged, pulling the car out of the Polis parking lot. "They're not all from Annapolis," He explained, taking a sip from the iced coffee Clarke had insisted they stopped for. "Some are from other towns. But you're right, it's a really small school." 

Clarke watched in the sideview mirror as Polis got smaller and smaller, even more intrigued to learn about the life and language that Lexa, and Aden, lived.


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke misses her family. Aden reveals something drastic, and we meet a new ( ish ) character at the homecoming game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am loving how much you guys are loving this story!! This one was really fun to write. Things are progressing !! I'm so excited for you guys to read this chapter!! Also, wow. I didn't realize how many of you guys loved the Raven / Murphy friendship dynamic. Don't worry, they're not going anywhere. If anything, you'll find them under the bleachers.

_**Thursday.** _

It was a normal day at school until she got to drawing class. She had met up with Raven and Murphy again, and they chastized her for ditching them at various points throughout the week. She knew they were joking, despite how serious they sounded. Clarke came to the realization that neither of them really had friends aside from each other, herself, and by extension, Aden. She hadn't seen him at lunch, and when she texted him all she got as a response was _"doctors appointment. be back for drawing. ttyl."_ She got the off feeling that something was wrong, but she didn't want to push. She had, however, met up with him by the doors of the school before class. 

He was off. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that. He had taken his aids out, like he did every day before class, but this time instead of shoving them into his jacket pocket, he opened his backpack and set them in there. 

Clarke was curious, but she didn't want to push. 

"Everything okay?" She asked as they sat down at the table. He pulled out the tube that held their project; she felt like it was safer with him. 

"No," He paused, pulling the paper out and rolling it the other way so it lay flat. "But we can talk about it later." 

She nodded, looking up as Kane began to teach. She did her best to sign along with what he was saying, but she stumbled on a few words. She hoped that Aden understood. 

They were presenting that day. Showing the class and Kane their mural ideas, and when they were finished the class would anonymously vote for which project they wanted to be turned into a mural. 

Clarke and Aden's won. 

They were going to be painting a mural in the school. 

They decided on the performing arts hallway. It seemed the most fitting with their theme, and they were allowed to start at any time. Kane had given them both a small card allowing them temporary access to the school for after-hour work. Clarke felt like it was a little _too_ much power, but she wasn't complaining. 

She had stayed after school to start on her part of it. She knew Aden wanted to stay as well, but he had to leave rather quickly because Lexa needed a ride home. Apparently she had rode with Costia that morning, but she and Costia got in another fight. 

Clarke couldn't help but linger on the word _another_. 

So she worked on the project by herself for hours, letting herself get lost in the colors of artists and staff lines. Of Clefs and instruments. She felt at ease; surrounded by most of her favorite things. It was a nice difference compared to the dull school colors around her. 

By the time she arrived home it was starting to get dark. She was excited to tell her mother about the mural; to call her father and tell him the good news. Upon walking into the house, however, all the lights were off. 

She sighed as she walked into the kitchen and picked up the note that her mother had left her. 

_"Clarke,_

_I'm going to be staying at the hospital all weekend. I signed up for a few more shifts."_

The blonde rolled her eyes. Of _course_ her mother did. She was trying to move up to surgeon, after all. 

_"There's a credit card in the safe for food. Please, no parties._

_Love you, Mom."_

She didn't want to be upset. Not when this wasn't the first time this has happened. Usually it didn't bother her. The silence used to be welcoming; she'd fill it with her own music and sounds of pencils rattling or paint being mixed. But now it just seemed... empty. Everything seemed empty. She was longing for the family-like home she felt at Aden's. She missed the feeling that she had when her parents were home -- when she could actually spend time with them. It was always few and far-between, but at least when she was little it actually felt like both her parents cared. 

She liked to believe that she had a good relationship with her parents. That they loved her just like she loved them. They were always busy, but that's just what happened when your father is a part of one of the biggest businesses in the country and your mother is a top-notch doctor. They had their good times, mostly when she was younger. 

She didn't want to be alone in the house. 

She tried texting Aden. He didn't answer. She was worried about him.

She texted Raven. 

Raven responded; she and Murphy would be over soon. 

Clarke let out a sigh of relief as she leaned back into her father's chair. She had good memories with that chair. Her father reading to her before she went to bed; sitting on his lap as he used different voices for different characters in books like Harry Potter or The Chronicles of Narnia. Falling asleep in the chair when she was little, wanting to stay up for him. Good memories. 

She felt like she was dozing off when she heard knocking on the door. Assuming it was the dynamic duo, she quickly shot Raven a text telling them to come in, and not even a second later Raven had walked through the door as if she lived there her whole life. She heard a muttered "wow", coming from Murphy, and soon she stood to join her friends. 

"Welcome to... Casa de Griffin, I suppose." Clarke shrugged, "Take your shoes off, though." 

"Jeez blondie, how many rooms is this place? Can I move in?" Raven asked; her eyes darted around the hallway, looking at all the photos hung up. More happy memories. 

"Five. And no; unfortunately they're all taken up." The blonde responded, walking into the kitchen. "What do you want to eat?" 

It didn't take long for Murphy and Raven to look at each other, then at Clarke only to say, "Pizza." 

So Clarke ordered a pizza for each of them. She gave them the tour of the house, showing them all but her parent's room and her father's study. But she showed them her room, showed them her studio, and the guest room. And each time they tried to seem disinterested, but she could see the wonder in their eyes as she showed them each room. Suddenly she felt like something put on display. 

"Holy shit Griff -- you've got a pool?" Murphy asked, glancing out the window that viewed the backyard. 

"Yeah, it's heated. And there's a poolhouse in the back." 

It was her father's attempt at making her happy by spending more money as she got older. She went through this small "I hate everything" phase; in Seattle her father had designed a studio in place of a poolhouse and had it built. It was where she spent most of her time; where she did most of her work. During the move they had to leave that studio behind, but her father was able to find a house that had it's own poolhouse. They just hadn't had the time to clear it out yet. 

"No shit? Damn." 

They walked back down the stairs. Clarke wanted to just sit around and talk -- or even just enjoy the silence -- until the pizza arrived, but Murphy had other ideas. He was already making his way out the sliding glass back door, taking his shirt off as he went. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Clarke asked, her brow furrowed. 

"Taking advantage of my friend's pool." He called back, undoing his belt. Clarke internally panicked -- if he kept stripping at the pace he was going she was sure she'd see something she didn't want to see. 

"Murphy it's the middle of October." 

"And your pool is heated," His pants were pushed to his ankles, "What's your point?" 

"The heat isn't --" But she wasn't able to finish her sentence. Before she could tell him that the heat wasn't turned on, he had already jumped into the open pool. He let out a scream as he surfaced, exclaiming how cold the pool was. 

Clarke and Raven burst out into a fit of laughter, but at least the former was able to give the man a towel as he managed to get out of the pool. 

"Let me turn the heat on before you do that again, yeah?" She managed to say, walking over to the poolhouse. As she turned on the lights and the heat, the pool was suddenly illuminated from the inside, emitting a glow around her backyard. It was a small, intimate setting, and if it wasn't for Murphy's dripping form ( he looked like a sad puppy, really ) and Raven still laughing, she would have enjoyed the pool by herself. 

But she was glad that they were there with her. 

They let the pool heat up a little bit before Murphy jumped in again, Raven and Clarke joining him this time. They swam laps, splashed each other and even attempted to play a 2v1 girls vs boys game of chicken. Clarke was sure that her neighbors were going to call in a noise complaint, but in that moment she didn't really care. When the pizza came she brought the pizzas to the backyard with a six pack of beer -- she knew her father wouldn't mind, so as long as her mother didn't find out -- and they ate it in the hot tub next to the poolhouse. 

She knew that money didn't buy hapiness. But she had no shame in sharing her materialistic happiness with her friends -- the ones she felt bad for neglecting the past week. 

\----------

Aden had suggested that Clarke go with he and Lexa to the parade and game Friday afternoon. She agreed, mostly because she wanted to know what was going on with him. He had ignored her all of Thursday night, and hadn't texted her Friday morning; nor did he show up for drawing. She was starting to get worried. 

She met up with the Woods' by the school, where the parade was supposed to end. One of the first things she noticed, however, was that Aden wasn't wearing his aids. And this time, she didn't mind pushing or not. She pulled him aside, where people couldn't overhear, and tried to get him to talk. 

"What's going on with you? You've been ignoring me." She accused, crossing her arms for emphasis. 

_'Nothing.'_ He signed back, shaking his head. _'I'm fine.'_

Clarke sighed, "Bullshit. Come on, please? Tell me what's going on. Why aren't you talking to me?" 

Aden just looked at her. 

"You know my signing isn't the best." 

After he stared at her a few moments more, he finally sighed and gave in. "So Costia was right? You're going to drop this if it gets too hard?" 

"What --? Aden, no, that's not what I was saying --" 

"That's what it sounds like, Clarke. You're going to drop this when it gets too hard just like everyone else. Like I'm not even worth it." 

Aden had stormed off before she could reply, and now she was just as confused as before. Something was wrong -- she had to get to the bottom of it. But when Aden didn't want to be found, it was almost impossible to find him. When she couldn't find him anywhere within the area, she walked back over to Lexa. 

"What the hell is going on with Aden?" She asked, accenting her friends name with the sign she had learned was Aden's name sign -- the phrase "art" with an "A". 

_'He didn't tell you?'_ The brunette asked. Clarke had to think extra hard to understand. Her mind didn't work when she was frustrated. 

"Tell me what?" 

Lexa sighed and pulled Clarke over, as if anyone else around them knew sign language. _'Aden had a doctor's appointment yesterday.'_

"He told me that."

_'Did he tell you that he's going to permanently lose all his hearing by the end of next year?'_ She asked, and it didn't take long for Clarke to understand what Lexa was saying. 

Aden was going to lose what little hearing he had left within the next year. 

Now things were starting to make a lot more sense. Aden was afraid that if he lost all his hearing, that Clarke wouldn't want to be around him. That if she lost the last thing connecting their worlds, that she'd give up, and not bother continuing. Which couldn't be farther than the truth, but she could see where he was coming from. 

"Do you know where he went?" She asked, a little softer this time. 

Lexa shrugged; _'He... runs off sometimes. I don't know where he goes. But he always comes back.'_

She could kind of make out what Lexa was saying, and it was frustrating because it showed how little she really knew when it came to signing. She didn't know a lot; she barely knew the basics. It was going to take a lot of repitition; a lot of keeping at it and always practicing. It was going to take a lot of hard work.

She texted Aden five times. 

No answer.

The hard work was going to be worth it. 

\----------

Clarke rode with Raven and Murphy to the homecoming game that night, but ultimately ended up losing the two in the crowd of the ticket booth. She assumed they made their way to their usual spot under the bleachers; it seemed that they spent a lot of their time there whether they were at school or not. Clarke wondered if Murphy ever really went to class, even. 

She made her way up the bleachers, letting out a sigh of relief when she stumbled upon Indra and Nyko sitting in the family section next to another woman and... a dog? Curiously, she made her way up to the group and greeted them, a smile on her face. She was interested as to why they were there; mostly because Aden wasn't in football. 

"Hey, guys..." She trailed off, getting cut off as Indra stood to hug the blonde. 

"Clarke! How nice to see you. Did you see Aden and Lexa? They should be around here somewhere." Indra stated, sitting back down and patting the seat next to her. Clarke shook her head, politely declining the seat. 

"No, I just got here," She explained, signing the best she could for Nyko's sake. "So Aden did end up coming?" 

"Yes, he did. I take it he told you about his appointment?" 

Clarke sighed and shook her head, "Lexa did." It was a lot similar in sign language; all it took was Lexa's name sign; half a pantomimed camera in the shape of an "L". "Aden had ran off before I could really talk to him. He..." She paused, unsure of how much Aden had told his mother. "He was afraid that I'd end up dropping learning to sign." 

"I don't think you'll do that, dear. You already seem rather committed." Indra explained, and Nyko nodded in agreement. 

_'You've only been signing a few weeks from what I've heard, and you're already doing so well.'_ The man explained. It took a moment for Clarke to process, but she understood. 

Her eyes trailed over to the woman next to Nyko, the dog perched between her legs. She assumed it was a guide dog; it was the only explanation as to why the girl had the dog. 

Indra noticed her staring. 

_'Anya, this is Clarke. Aden's friend.'_

Clarke didn't recognize the new sign; she assumed it was a name sign. It resembled "strong" with an "A". 

The woman waved. 

"Anya is... quiet. She doesn't take well to strangers." Indra explained. "That's Aneubis; he's her guide." Indra explained. 

"Hard of hearing, right?" Clarke asked, directed towards Anya. "Aden told me." 

Anya nodded. "He's told me about you, too." Her voice was soft; slightly disfigured. She furrowed her brow and went to speak again, but Anya cut her off. "My hearing is much worse than Aden's. Almost completely gone. Always has been. My voice represents that."

The blonde nodded, dumbfounded. She nodded down to Aneubis, and at Anya's nod she reached down to pet the dog. He responded happily, accepting the pet after sniffing her hand. He seemed to like Clarke. 

She stood talking with the Woods' family for a few moments more until she excused herself to go find her friend. She found them by the concessions; Aden munching on popcorn and Lexa sipping a hot chocolate. The brunette waved at Clarke, a grin on her face. Aden's expression was that of guilt. 

"Hey," She paused, rubbing her hands together. "You guys having fun?" 

She had been to a few football games in her lifetime. Her father used to take her to the bigger games. Finn was the quarterback at Fox. She still didn't understand the game at all. 

_'As much as we possibly can enjoy guys tackling each other over balls.'_

Aden snorted. Clarke found herself lost. 

"She just joked about the game. Don't worry, it wasn't _that_ funny." Aden explained, seemingly back to herself. 

"Right..." She sighed, "Aden, can... We should talk." 

The boy nodded and after directing Lexa towards the bathrooms, brought Clarke over to a set of benches by the baseball diamonds off to the side. 

"So... Lexa told me what happened at your appointment." Clarke started, looking over at him. There was enough light to see his face; for him to see her face. He didn't have his aids in. Clarke couldn't blame him; the game was loud. "Why didn't you want to tell me?" 

Aden was silent a moment. The popcorn was set on the bench; momentarily forgotten as he tried to gather his words. "I... was afraid that you'd look at me differently. That you'd treat me differently. That you'd give up on me, just like Costia keeps saying." 

"So you suddenly believe everything Costia says?" 

"No, but... It's hard. I know that you don't understand, and that you're trying to, but it's hard. When people find out I'm hard of hearing, they give me this... look. Like I'm broken. Like I suddenly can't understand what they're saying." He explained, looking at his own hands as he spoke. Clarke realized he did this often; almost as if he was afraid of signing the wrong thing. "You were different, Clarke. You didn't look at me like that. Does that mean that you wouldn't look at me like that when my hearing inevitably fails me?" He paused, sighing. "I don't know. But that's what I'm afraid of. It's happened to Lexa. It's happened to Costia, and Anya, and Bellamy. Most notably Costia. People try to get close to them, try to understand their -- _my_ \-- world, and when they figure out that signing is a lot, they give up. They stop trying and then we never hear of them again.

"But you?" He chuckled, shaking his head. "When you told me you wanted to start signing, man, I didn't even have to ask you. You didn't see it as something that you _had_ to do. You saw it as something that you wanted to do, even though we could converse normally because I can kind of hear. But when I went to my appointment and found out my hearing is going away completely..." 

"You were afraid that I'd look at you differently and give up." Clarke concluded. "You should know that I'm not like that, though." 

"I know, but..." He sighed, "I guess Costia just got into my head."

"Isn't her head big enough on it's own? Why does she need to take yours too?" 

Aden laughed. It made Clarke wonder more about the world he lived in; the world where you couldn't hear a thing. 

"I guess she's just a little selfish sometimes." 

"Sometimes?" 

Aden rolled his eyes. He was silent for a few more moments until, "Clarke?"

"Yeah?" 

"...Will you go to the dance with me? As friends, of course." 

Clarke smiled at him warmly, "I would like that a lot, Aden."

They talked a little more and Clarke was confident that by the end of their talk that Aden believed Clarke was staying for good. When Lexa joined them, they walked around until halftime was announced where they met up with Murphy and Raven under the bleachers. Murphy was taken aback that there was _more_ of people "like Aden", but was immediately shut up by the glare Lexa gave him. It seemed like there _was_ something in this world that scared John Murphy. 

Anya had found them at some point. And upon seeing Aden talking to the dynamic duo, she began to interrogate them. Asking them who they were, what they did. Where they lived and what they wanted to do with their lives. Aden was a part of the conversation, leaving Lexa and Clarke to their own devices. 

"So... Polis' homecoming dance is tomorrow too, right?" Clarke asked, turning towards Lexa.

_'Yes, it is.'_

"How is it different than a hearing school's?" 

Lexa smiled at her; Clarke found herself really liking Lexa's smile. _'They're not that different. The music is louder. But the dancing, the scenery, the dancing; it's all the same.'_

"But if it's dark, how can you see the hands?" 

_'That's the best part of it.'_

"Aw, look at you -- being all mama bear about Aden. Don't worry, Miss Tall, Dark and Mysterious, Murphy and I take great care of lil' ol' Woods." Clarke turned, seeing Raven chiding with Anya. If she knew Anya better, she'd see the small smirk that the older blonde held on her lips. 

Anya was about to say something, but Aneubis sensed Anya's shift in demeanor and immediately walked towards Raven. He sniffed her leg, then her hand ( and sneezed from the lingering smell of cigarettes ), and only took half a second to jump into the brunette's lap. Raven let out a squeal that turned into a laugh, immediately petting the German Shephard. 

"He's supposed to be deadly." 

"Yeah, Anya. He's deadly adorable." Raven smirked, patting the dog's head lovingly. 

Soon enough, Clarke and Lexa joined the rest of the group under the bleachers. And while Murphy and Raven were on the couch, and Aden and Anya on the stools, Clarke and Lexa took a seat on the floor next to each other. And Lexa would nudge Clarke's shoulder from time to time; would brush their hands together on occasion. And Clarke tried not to read into it. But damn it, Lexa was making that harder and harder each time she saw the girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys like it? Hate it? Let me know.


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming dance! Aden makes a confession, we see a different side of Murphy, and Aden stands up for Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit, I'm a little unsure about how this chapter came out. But I love writing this story, and I love spoiling you guys with the consistent chapters. If I'm not writing a chapter of this I'm planning out the next few. Really excited to write this.

Clarke sighed as she looked into the mirror of her vanity, her makeup laid out in front of her. She wanted nothing more than for her mother to be there with her, helping her get ready for the last homecoming she'd go to. Her hand ran across the wood of her childhood vanity; one of the few constants in her life. She got it when she was little, during one of the futile attempts of doing competitive dance. She never did sports, but she did take a liking to dance. It didn't turn out well, however, because she always ended up getting so nervous right before a recital that it wasn't worth the mental pain. 

But she did keep the vanity, and used it more and more as she got more involved in makeup. 

Her reflection in the mirror seemed to show how she was feeling lately. She had small bags under her eyes -- things that always got covered up with makeup -- from the restless nights she spent in her studio next door. Her skin was red; small acne scars here and there from a few years ago when she refused to listen to people who told her not touch her face. 

Taking a breath, she grabbed her foundation and was about to jump right into it. 

Up until her door opened. 

She thought it was her mother at first; coming home just in time to help Clarke get ready. She _hoped_ it was her mother. 

Alas, she was wrong. 

"Did you just let yourself into my house?"

"Yeah, why not. That's what friends do, right?" Raven asked, walking over to Clarke. She set a few things down on the blonde's vanity -- a hairdryer, a straightener. A few sticks of eyeliner fell out of the brunette's bag and landed on the floor. Clarke gaped at her; her brow furrowed.

"What're you doing?" 

"Helping you. What, you think I was just going to let you get ready for homecoming all by yourself? Fat chance. I'm your best girl friend at Arkadia. I know better than to let you do this by yourself." Raven explained, looking through Clarke's makeup selection and separating them by product. "Do you not have _anything_ bright colored?" 

"...No. I stick to nude colors." 

"Seriously? Clarke. You gotta have some fun with colors." Raven sighed, pushing the foundation towards Clarke. "Alright, get your base done. What color is your dress?" She asked. 

"Navy." 

"Perfect. I can work with that." Raven explained, pulling more things out of her bag and setting them on Clarke's bed. The blonde could see in the mirror that Raven was pulling out various clothing items. "You'll let me use your blacks and greys, right? My dress is red and I want to do a smokey eye with it." 

"You're going to homecoming?" 

Raven nodded. "Murphy too. He'll be over later to pick us up." 

Clarke was astounded that her friends were even doing this. She thought they were anti-dance; it seemed like she was wrong about them. 

"Can I get a quick shower? My hair works best fresh." Raven asked, pulling Clarke from her thoughts. 

"Yeah, of course. Bathroom is through there." Clarke replied, pointing to the door. 

"You've got a bathroom built into your room? Damn blondie!" 

Clarke laughed, watching as Raven disappeared into the bathroom. She finished up the base of her makeup, doing only foundation and a simple contour before she pushed away from her vanity, walking over to her closet. She didn't want to get a completely new dress for this; as much as she probably could have gone out she had a handful of dresses in her closet that she only wore once or twice for business events of her fathers. One of those in particular was a nice dark navy dress. It was covered in sparkles, had a semi-low cut and seemed perfect for a senior homecoming. She pulled it from her closet and removed the bag from around it, letting out a sigh as she looked at it. 

She had worn it once before. She was a freshman; she had gone to a fancy dinner event with her dad, Thelonious, and Wells. It was a simple night that she spent sneaking sips of wine with Wells while the adults talked business. That's how it always went with her dad; he was either fun, or mostly all business. 

She hung the dress on the corner of the vanity to keep it from getting wrinkled. Raven came out of the bathroom not long after, toweling her hair to make it damp. Upon seeing the dress she gaped, looking at Clarke. 

"That dress is gorgeous. Is all your fancy-pants wardrobe that beautiful?" She asked, walking over to the dress. 

Clarke nodded, "I have a bunch of dresses I don't wear enough. Figured it'd be nice to pull out an old one for tonight." She shrugged, sitting back in the vanity. "Are you doing my eyes or am I going to do them?" 

"You can do them, if you want. Could I..." Raven hesitated. 

"You can look through them if you want. Pick whichever; you can even keep it. I have enough of them." 

She didn't have to look at the brunette to see the happy dance that Raven had done. 

\--------

Murphy had joined them a half hour later while Raven was doing Clarke's hair. He, much like Raven, just let himself into the house, but Clarke didn't mind it. She knew it was how they were, and she trusted them enough. Would her parents disapprove of it? Probably. But they didn't need to know about it. 

"Wow, Murphy, you clean up nice." Clarke commented, seeing him come in through the mirror. He didn't go all out; only a black button up with some dress pants, but it was a nice contrast to his usual attire. He was freshly shaved; his usual stubble gone and his hair was even done nicely. 

Clarke wondered how many fancy events the man even attended. 

"Yeah well, I _do_ own some nice clothes. It's not all leather jackets and ripped jeans." 

Clarke rolled her eyes and watched as he sat down on her bed. Raven was already completely ready; she just had to put on her shoes. Which is why Raven was in charge of curling Clarke's hair. As soon as they were finished, they were up and heading out to Murphy's car; a beat-up four-door truck. Clarke didn't mind it, though. It had character compared to her car, which was only a few years old and still in pristine condition. 

"Hey Murph, thought you said Arkadia's dances were lame?" Clarke asked as she climbed into the backseat. 

"They are. But it _is_ our last year, and you seemed really excited about going so I figured why not." He shrugged, starting the vehicle with ease. 

"Raven's paying you isn't she?" 

Raven snorted. 

"30 bucks and a pack of cigarettes." 

In reality, Clarke wasn't expecting anything less. 

\-------- 

They drove over to the Woods' house next to pick up Aden. Since they assumed that it would only take a few minutes, Murphy and Raven opted to stay in the car while Clarke went to pick him up. 

They couldn't have been more wrong. 

As soon as Clarke was welcomed inside by Nyko, and ambushed by Indra and a camera. It seemed like she was _really_ excited for this, as any parent would be, and Clarke didn't mind posing for photo after photo that Indra prompted. When that was finished she made her way into the living room, where she saw Lexa sitting there by herself. 

"Already take your photos?" Clarke asked, an amused hint to her voice. 

Lexa looked at her and smiled, _'Yeah. I was the first one done. Aden's still getting ready and I'm waiting on Costia.'_

"Isn't the dance in like.. an hour? Arkadia's is, at least." 

Lexa nodded again, _'She's just running a little late. She'll be here soon.'_

Clarke nodded, and sat down next to Lexa. She couldn't see much of what the girl was wearing; she had covered herself up with a blanket. It was a little chilly in the Woods household, so Clarke couldn't blame her. They sat in silence for a few moments until Lexa tried to make conversation. 

_'Last homecoming. You excited?'_

"Kind of. It's bittersweet. I'm excited, but also sad that I won't have these to look forward to."

_'There's always prom. And the winter formal.'_

"Yeah, but those are different. Each dance is different."

Lexa nodded, falling silent for a moment. It seemed like she was just coming up with reasons to talk to Clarke. _'I'm glad that you agreed to go with Aden. It's his first dance.'_

"Really?" 

_'He was picked on in middle school for being hard of hearing. It really messed with him; he didn't have a lot of friends. I tried to get him to go but he always said no. This is the first time I've seen him so excited to go to a hearing school dance.'_

Lexa's words sat with Clarke. It gave her the feeling that Aden may actually like her in a different way, but she tried not to think about that. 

She figured that Aden would be down relatively soon, then she'd be able to pick him up and head out to Arkadia with Raven and Murphy. Really, she just wasn't hoping on seeing Costia. It was obvious that Lexa's girlfriend didn't really like her; didn't really like anyone but Lexa for that matter. And for a day that had started to turn really well, she didn't want it to be ruined just because Costia had something to say. 

It seemed that things weren't in her favor, however. 

Costia had come through the door before Aden had come down the stairs. She was dressed nicely, in a simple dress with simple makeup. If Clarke didn't have hard feelings towards the other girl, she would have complimented Costia. But Costia didn't have anything to say to Clarke; nothing but a glare in her direction that she assumed was because of how close she was sitting to Lexa. It wasn't intentional; not at all. But she had a feeling that Costia wouldn't see it that way. 

When Aden finally came downstairs, Indra insisted on doing couples photos. She didn't have to strain her ears to hear the disapproving sigh from Costia, but Clarke herself was happy to take more photos for the woman. With her own mother working, she had the feeling that Abby would be asking her about photos at some point. At least, she hoped that would happen. 

But seeing Lexa stand up from the couch, and seeing the way she looked in her dress; that was worth the extra time taken for photos. 

Clarke thought Lexa looked gorgeous; probably the best looking in the room.

She also knew that it wasn't right for her to think like that. 

\---------

When they eventually made it to the dance after getting dinner ( the whole time Murphy complaining about how long the photo-taking session took ), they met up with Lincoln and Octavia at Aden's request. Murphy disapproved, but seeing how much Aden wanted to see his other friends seemed to make him change his mind. Clarke couldn't put a finger on it, but she felt like Murphy had a soft spot for his closest friends. And it seemed like Murphy was starting to consider Aden as that. 

They had fun. 

They danced, they sang along to the songs and Clarke kept Aden updated on each song change and what it was and who sang it. The six of them had formed their own little circle, having a blast as the night progressed. It wasn't until the music shifted to a slower song that the group dispersed to their separate pairs. Clarke was about to walk back to the table with Raven and Murphy when Aden tapped her on the shoulder. 

"Do you want to dance with me?" He asked, and the hopeful look in his eyes was the selling point to where Clarke couldn't say no. 

He led her out onto the dance floor, her hand in his until they came to a stop. His hands fell to her sides and hers draped around his shoulders; they moved in sync with the beat of the music. Clarke knew that it was one of the only things he could really hear when it came to the music. She recognized the song almost instantly; it was one of her favorites. "Falling for You" by the 1975. They swayed, his hands never faltering past her hips. He was very respectable. 

"So... I wanted to talk to you about something." He stated after a few moments. 

"Okay..." 

She saw him sigh. His chest fell, he held his breath. Then he released it. Almost as if what he wanted to say was physically holding his chest. 

"I... like you, Clarke. I like you a lot. I know you've only been here for a little over a month, but.. you're different. You've... actually tried to be my friend. I mean, you're learning to sign for me, and that's a big deal. I just..." He swallowed, looking down at their feet. "I just wanted to tell you." 

"Aden..." 

"You don't have to say anything. It's okay." 

Clarke sighed. She held him a little tighter, unsure of what to say. "I don't... I don't think it'd be a good idea. I'd... really like for us to just stay friends, okay?" 

She hated the sullen look on his face. She wanted to feel more for him; to be able to like him the way he liked her. But she couldn't. It wouldn't be her being authentic. 

He was silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"It's okay, Clarke. Really. You can't help what you can and can't feel. Maybe we weren't meant to be lovers, but we make a hell of a good pair of friends." 

She laughed, and just like that things were back to normal. They finished off the song before they went back to the table, sitting with Murphy and Raven. It seemed like the pair were making their own commentary; entertaining themselves by picking lighthearted fun at the other students at the dance. Aden joined in, not being as harsh as the other two but still having fun. It was dark, but not dark enough for him to not be able to see. Clarke was glad to see him having fun after their little moment. She sipped at her drink, joining in on the conversation here and there and overall having a great time. 

It seemed that the night just kept getting better for her, until it wasn't. It was roughly an hour later when she started feeling woozy. It was almost like the world was spinning around her, but she still felt great. She felt drunk. 

She didn't _feel_ drunk, she realized soon after, she _was_ drunk. 

"Clarke hey -- that's my drink!" Murphy exclaimed, a look of panic when he realized what Clarke had been drinking for the past hour. "Shit." 

He took the drink from her, looking down in the cup. She had drank almost all of it's contents. "Fuck, Clarke. I spiked that." 

Clarke couldn't comprehend what he was saying. She felt on cloud nine, despite that small feeling of nausea that had settled in. It wasn't a bad feeling, no. It reminded her of her times at parties in Seattle where she would get so drunk she wouldn't really remember what happened the next day. It didn't happen often, just enough to make good memories. 

"Is that such a bad thing, though?" She slurred, a grin on her face as she leaned into Aden. "Can I have some more?" 

Murphy sighed, running his hand through his hair and effectively ruining the effort he had put into it. "No, no you can't. You're drunk. At school." 

"You were the one who spiked it, idiot." Raven chimed. 

"I _know_ that. _You_ know that. That's why you were going to drive home. I wasn't expecting her to accidentally grab my drink." Murphy explained, looking over at Aden. "I didn't expect this, seriously." 

Aden shrugged, looking at Clarke. "It's.. It's okay. She looks like she's having fun, right? And it's not like she's driving..." 

"Maybe we should just take her home. I don't want her to get caught." Murphy sighed, "Besides, the dance is almost over." 

Aden looked at Murphy, then back at Clarke. "Yeah, I think that'll be best." 

"Do you want to come with us or stay with the others? I don't mind driving you home." Murphy offered. 

"I'm all ready to go. Just let me find Octavia and Lincoln and tell them I'm leaving."

Murphy nodded, and Aden set off to do that. 

\-----------

Raven had dropped Aden and Clarke off at her place, at Aden's insistence. He said that he would call Lexa to pick him up when she fell asleep; he just wanted to make sure that she'd be okay. He didn't know what kind of alcohol was in the drink; he didn't know how Clarke handled alcohol. He helped the blonde inside, stopping in the kitchen to grab a water bottle. 

"How're your parents going to react?" He asked, having Clarke pause in the kitchen to down the bottle. 

"Dunno, don't think they'll care." Clarke mumbled between sips, "They're never home. You know, Murphy makes me out to be this huge deal 'cause my dad works for Jaha and my mom's a nurse. Yeah, we've got money." She shrugged, taking a few more sips. "But we're not a perfect family. Neither of them have been home for a while." 

The look on her face told him enough that Clarke didn't want to be home alone. It didn't take a genius to know that Clarke didn't like being alone in general. 

"Where're your keys? I'm going to bring you to my place." 

So Aden drove Clarke to his house. The whole time the blonde was trying to make conversation, seemingly forgetting that Aden couldn't exactly hear her. When they arrived at his house he helped her inside, bypassing Lexa and Costia in the kitchen. He didn't know when they got home, and in that moment he didn't really care. He just wanted to make sure that Clarke was going to be okay, despite the hangover she may have the next day. He guided her to his bed, where he set out a couple ibuprofen and a bottle of water for her, then made his way back downstairs. 

_'So is she Aden's girlfriend or something? She's always here. I can never get you alone anymore.'_

He hadn't meant to eavesdrop. But she had signed it right as he walked into the kitchen, and it irked him to see the way he was talking about Clarke. 

_'No, she's not my girlfriend,'_ He signed back, _'She drank something spiked and I didn't want her to be alone at her house.'_

Lexa became concerned, turning towards her brother, _'Is she okay?'_

_'Why does it matter?'_ Costia interjected, patting Lexa's shoulder. It was clear that she was getting annoyed. 

_'Leave her alone, Costia.'_ Aden started, becoming more irritated. _'I know you don't like her because she's hearing. But she's trying. She's trying so hard. And that's something so new to me. Clarke is one of the smartest, most beautiful girls I have ever met and she's trying to learn to sign for me. She's kind, she's brave and she has a hell of a lot more heart than you. So if you don't have anything nice to say to me, or about her, then leave. Because I like her, Lexa likes her. Indra likes her and she's going to stick around. Because she's not a bitch like you.'_

He was breathing heavily when he finished. Lexa gaped at her brother, and Costia looked pissed. She looked to Lexa, expecting her girlfriend to stand up for her, but the gaped look on the brunette's face turned into one that was proud of Aden. She shook her head and grabbed her bag, heading right for the door. 

Even with his bad hearing, Aden could hear it slam shut. 

Lexa turned to Aden, _'Is she in your room?'_

Aden nodded, walking to the fridge to grab a soda. _'Yeah. I figured I'll crash on the couch for the night. I want her to be comfortable.'_

Lexa looked down at the counter, nodding. She knew how Aden felt for Clarke, and she was proud of him for standing up to Costia like he did. It was out of character for him, but she was still proud nonetheless. _'I'm proud of you, for sticking up for your friend.'_ She told him, a small smile on her face.

_'She had it coming.'_ He shrugged. 

_'Did you tell Clarke how you feel?'_

Aden sighed, looking down as he nodded. He took a sip of his drink then set it down, looking at his sister. _'Yeah, but she doesn't feel the same.'_

_'I'm sorry.'_

_'Don't be. We're going to stay friends, and I'm going to be the best damn friend she's ever had.'_

Lexa laughed, glad that Aden could see the bright side in something that would have most people sad. _'Keep me updated on how that goes.'_

_'Oh, of course. And keep me updated for when you finally dump Costia on her ass.'_

Lexa rolled her eyes. _'I think you'll have to wait a little bit for that.'_

_'A guy can dream, can't he?'_

Lexa smiled, nodding her head. She helped Aden set up the couch so he could sleep, but as she walked up the stairs to retreat to her own room, she couldn't help but carefully peek inside Aden's room at the sleeping blonde. She just hoped that Clarke was going to be okay in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, progress? Things are happening. More things are going to happen in the next chapter. Exciting things. Let me know what you think!


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash-through time jump to December. Clarke and Abby fight, leading the blonde to spend some time at Raven and Murphy's. She then, goes to help the Woods' family with Christmas decorations. Some more Griffin Family drama(TM). A whole lot of Clexa.
> 
> TW: Mentions of abuse. Nothing too major; it's near the end of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is one big beefy chapter that mostly focuses on development between our two favorite girls. We learn a little bit more about the Woods' family, and some development for subplots happen. This is actually the chapter that I've been planning since I even started this story. My favorite by far. And to top it all off, it's pretty freaking long. 6k+ words long. Wow. Longest chapter I've ever written. 
> 
> I'm really glad that you guys are enjoying this story as much as you are. Hearing your experiences about learning to sign, or being deaf yourself, it really moves me. I must put as a disclaimer that I'm not actually deaf, but I am learning to sign. Hence why this story is mostly told from Clarke's point of view. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know I loved writing it.

**December.**

The rest of October and November had come and went. Clarke spent Halloween with Raven and Murphy, dressing up in masks and half-assed costumes in an attempt to get candy from the more well-off neighborhoods, and it worked. From there they went back to the duo's apartment and spent the night high on sugar and drunk off wine coolers. It was different than how she usually spent Halloween. But she welcomed it with a warm embrace. 

Thanksgiving was a different story. Over the break she spent it mostly at the school, working on the mural whenever she had the chance. She was working on it slowly; wanting to make it as perfect as she could get it. Her mother was working most of the break; her father too. He had come home for what seemed like a few hours ( in reality it was a few days ) only to turn around and head off to New York with Thelonious. Clarke just wished that her father remembered that he had a family every now and then. 

When she wasn't working on the mural, Clarke was over at Aden's house. She enjoyed spending time with his family more than she enjoyed spending time alone at her own house. It wasn't always that bad; sometimes she liked the silence. It was almost at peace until she remembered why it was so quiet at her house. Then she would buckle down and either escape to the school or Aden's house; only really going home if it was too late and inviting Raven and Murphy over. It got to the point where she was starting to feel like a burden to her friends, but deep down she knew ( read: hoped ) that her friends didn't see her that way. 

She was learning a lot more sign. Throughout November she made it a priority to learn at least two signs each night; treating it like homework. By the end of the month, she had the basics down. She was still learning more advanced signs, but Aden would help her figure them out when she would go over there. Lexa helped, too. During her time spent at the Woods' place she got to know the brunette a lot more; Anya too during Thanksgiving break. She learned a lot about each family member; like how Indra had met Nyko when they were in high school. Indra was one of the few hearing kids that would stick up for Nyko and help him around the school. They got married right out of high school, and soon adopted Anya after meeting her. Clarke didn't really learn Anya's story, but she didn't blame the older blonde. They weren't that close, and Anya seemed to be a private person. 

She did learn a lot about Aden and Lexa, however. They were adopted within the same two months; first Lexa, then Aden. 

Lexa was with a foster home; a home with two other kids and two parents that didn't know a thing about sign language. Lexa had lost her hearing while with that family -- she had been with them since birth -- but she lost her hearing after a meningitis treatment gone wrong. She wasn't able to communicate with anyone the first few months after going deaf; she met Nyko and Indra one day while shopping with her foster mother. Nyko had taken to Lexa immediately, showing the girl how to speak with her hands. After a lot of talking, and paperwork, Lexa was put into the care of Indra and Nyko -- a family that both the Woods' and Lexa's previous family knew would be a much better environment for Lexa. 

Aden, however, was a different story. The boy was in a group home; he had lost his birth mother at an age where he wasn't "prime to be adopted", as Aden himself had put it. On top of that, he had no idea where his birth father even was and there was no documentation to show who he could possibly be. He was in the group home when he started losing his hearing. He had gotten swimmer's ear while at a lake party with friends, but the infection never really went away, only getting worse. His social worker had met Indra through a friend of a friend, and introduced them. Indra took immediately to Aden and he was soon adopted into the Woods' family. 

But Clarke also learned a lot of personal stuff about the two younger Woods'; like how Aden can play piano, but only chooses to play for himself and occasionally Indra. He had showed Clarke a few songs, too, and Clarke felt instantly special. It didn't take a lot to see, however, that Aden was afraid he'd forget how to play once he started losing all of his hearing. 

She learned that Lexa's favorite color was sky blue, because she liked looking at the sky. It was minor, but it was something that Clarke kept in mind. When Lexa had asked Clarke a similar question, she told Lexa that her favorite color varied from week to week. It didn't take long for Clarke to grow closer to Lexa, too. At this point, she considered the brunette a close friend as well.

Thanksgiving itself wasn't the best day for Clarke. She had wanted to spend time with her family; both her parents had told her they'd be home for the dinner. But then Jake's flight got cancelled, and Abby was called in for an emergency, and instead of trying to find someplace else to go Clarke stayed home. She didn't feel up to going out; instead just making herself a pizza and watching movies the whole time. It wasn't that bad, just lonely. 

It was another Saturday. And while Jake was still in New York, Clarke had wanted to have breakfast with her mother. She was hoping that they'd be able to make the tradition this month; they weren't able to the previous month. But Clarke wasn't wanting to be put off by Jake's lack of appearance. She wanted to keep her family together, in whatever way she could.

So, she tried her hand at her father's pancakes. They weren't the best; they never were when she made them. It seemed like whatever Jake did with the pancakes, he made it to where only he was able to make them right. But they were still good enough to eat. She had set the table with two plates, one for herself and one for her mother, and was finishing up the sides for the meal when her mother came down the stairs. 

"Good morning, mom. I made breakfast." Clarke stated, her voice full of cheer. Despite the way she had been feeling as of late she wanted to get things back to normal. 

"Oh, honey..." Abby sighed, walking into the kitchen. "It smells wonderful." 

Clarke could sense the "but" that was coming soon after. 

"You're leaving, aren't you?" 

Abby nodded, "I'm so close to this promotion, Clarke. I'm almost out of the nurse stage. I'll be able to be home more often and then we can continue the breakfasts, okay?" 

It didn't take a genius to know that Clarke was upset by this. "Mom, we haven't had a breakfast in almost _two months_. You and dad are always busy. You're never home. And I miss my family." She confessed, putting down the spatula. The pan behind her still sizzled with leftover bacon grease. "It's like we're not even a family anymore. Even on Thanksgiving, you and dad weren't even there. It's like since we moved here we just... detached." 

Abby didn't even look at her. It was almost like she was guilty about it, but she didn't show it. 

"Clarke..." 

"No, mom. I'm tired of feeling like I live in this house by myself. I'm tired of feeling like I'm living alone at eighteen. I'm tired of feeling like this family revolves around money and how much we make!" She exclaimed, slamming her hand down on the table. "I want my freaking family back!" 

She turned off the stove and headed up to her room. It was clear that talking to Abby wasn't going to get anything solved, so she wasn't sure why she even tried. Clarke was hurt. She was hurt by the fact that it seemed like her parents stopped caring about her the moment they moved away from Seattle. Gone were the happy, family memories she cherished despite how few they were and in their place were shattered picture frames of what they used to be. It was depressing. 

She packed a small overnight bag and got in her car. She had hesitated at first, not wanting to be surrounded by the things she associated with her parents, but she knew she had no choice. It was too cold for her to walk. But she knew she wasn't coming back that night anyways. 

\-----------

Raven and Murphy's apartment was small; only two bedrooms and a single bathroom. But it was nice; cozy. On the outskirts of town in a secluded apartment building that seemed to be decently safe. It may have been her first time at their apartment ( she had texted Raven before she left asking for their address ), but already she got the feeling that it felt more like home than her own house. Raven had told her to just walk in, so she did. 

Murphy was still sleeping. She didn't blame him; it was early for a Saturday. But Raven was up; slouching on the couch in a uniform that Clarke could only assume as a coffee shop barista. She hadn't thought about the fact that Raven worked on the weekends; really she hadn't thought a lot about her friends when they weren't around her. "Hey, blondie." Raven greeted her, patting the couch next to her. "Come have a seat." 

She set her bag down by the couch and sat down. It was comfy; comfy enough to sleep on. And she would sleep on it, later that night. She wasn't going to go home that night. 

"Wanna tell me what's got you suddenly so intrigued by the Reyes-Murphy residence?" 

Clarke sighed, mimicking Raven's posture by resting her feet on the coffee table. She wasn't allowed to do that at home. Her mother was always picky about footprints on the glass coffee table. She felt rebellious. 

"I... got into an argument with my mom. I didn't want to be 

there today, or tonight." She explained, shrugging her shoulders. "Do you work today?" 

Raven nodded, biting back a groan. "Unfortunately. Eleven to six. Murphy should be up soon though, so you won't have to be without entertainment the whole time." 

"Does he work too?"

"The night shift at the gas station down the road. He worked last night; he's got tonight off." 

"Does he work most nights?" 

"Unfortunately. We gotta afford this place somehow." 

Clarke hated how often she forgot that not everyone had the semi-luxurious life that she had. 

"Well hey, you gotta do what you gotta do." 

"That's the spirit." Raven grinned, standing up. "But hey, I gotta get going. Food and drinks are in the fridge, don't be surprised if you start smelling weed. Murphy likes to wake and bake after a long work night. If you get bored, we've got Netflix and video games. Help yourself. What's ours is yours and all that." She offered, quickly getting ready before heading out the door. "See ya later, Griff." 

And just like that, Clarke was left to her own devices in the home of Raven and Murphy. It was better than her own house in most cases; more home-y. There were snippets of both Raven and Murphy's personalities strewn about the apartment in the form of photos, knick-knacks and other items that screamed either of the two or both of them together. It didn't take long for Clarke to open up Netflix, putting on the first thing she saw that seemed interesting to pass the time. 

Murphy woke up about two hours later. Clarke had already taken it upon herself to order takeout as a thank you to the man who, as far as Clarke knew, wasn't even aware that she was there. She hoped that he didn't mind her showing up, though. Raven at least said it was okay. He stumbled out of his room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

The lingering smell of weed wafted out his room, but Clarke didn't mind it. It seemed that he often smelled like the drug. When he turned towards the living room to see Clarke sitting on the couch with a box of Chinese food in her lap, however, he jumped. 

"Jesus, Clarke. How the hell'd you get in here?" He asked, rubbing his eyes again.

"Raven let me in... I'm.. going to be staying here for the night, I guess." 

Murphy walked over and sat next to her, pointing to the other box of Chinese. Clarke nodded, indicating that it was for him. 

"Rough morning, I take it?" 

"I fought with my mom. Stupid stuff." She shrugged, hoping he wouldn't press. 

He didn't, and Clarke was grateful. Instead, they just sat and watched the show together, mostly in a comforting silence with a few bits of commentary here or there. And for the first time in a while, Clarke was happy being somewhere other than the Woods' house. 

\------------

_**Sunday.** _

She had woken up to a text from Aden, causing her to rub the sleep from her eyes as she slowly sat up on the couch. She had texted him a few times the previous day, telling him about the argument she had with her mother and how she was just feeling down. He had finally gotten back to her that morning, and instead of trying to be sympathetic he simply invited her over to his house to help his family decorate the house in Christmas decorations. She had accepted, only after asking many times if it was okay and getting the approval from both Lexa, Indra, and Nyko. Her own family never really did Christmas. They set up a few wreaths here and there, garland around the mantle and would get a tree that only held lights and a few ornaments, but it wasn’t this huge spectacle. Christmas held some of the best memories with her parents; the few ones that, now, Clarke felt like they were actually family memories compared to the nights she spent alone in the house. Her favorite memory of Christmas was from a few years ago; her mom had gotten Christmas Eve off and her dad had made the food for a nice dinner. It was nice.

She wasn't sure how Christmas was going to go this year. 

She had said goodbye to her friends after making them breakfast as one last thank you, despite the both of them assuring her that it was okay and that she was welcome anytime. Despite how grateful she was for that, she still felt obligated to thank them. 

She was let into the Woods' house and walked right in on what seemed to be a conversation between Nyko, Aden and Lexa about what should go on the tree first. From what Clarke could understand, Nyko suggested garland first, whereas Lexa and Aden were saying that the lights had to go on before that. It was silly, but it was nice at the same time. In the end, Clarke sided with Nyko, but Indra had the final vote where she sided with the kids of the family. 

There was already a few decorations hanging around the house; a few wreaths here or there; the occasional Santa figurine and snow globe in other places. It just gave the overall vibe of the house the Christmas feel, and according to Indra they weren't even finished yet. 

They had paused for a snack of cookies and cocoa. Clarke glanced out the window, noticing the snow starting to fall outside. The mid-day sun reflected off it, making it seem like falling crystals coming from the sky. She never got tired of seeing snow. Falling on the ground, in the trees, settling on cars early in the morning. It always amazed her. 

_'How's the mural going?'_ Nyko asked after getting Clarke's attention. The question was directed towards both Clarke and Aden, but Nyko was insisting that Clarke answered. 

"It's going well," She started, signing the best she could. "We've just got a few more details to do, but other than that we're basically done."

 _'I can't wait to see it. Lexa, have you told Clarke about how your photographs are an option for Polis' school showcase?'_

Clarke looked over to Lexa. They had been talking a little more frequently as of late, even going as far as exchanging numbers. The most they talked was when Clarke was at the Woods' house, but that didn't stop the occasional text or two. It seemed like Lexa really enjoyed talking to Clarke. 

_'I haven't gotten around to it, no. I've been busy.'_

She shrugged it off like it was nothing, but Clarke knew it was because of Costia. 

_'Maybe you should show Clarke your photographs sometime.'_ Nyko insisted. 

"Oh, yeah, I'd love to see those. I've always been interested in photography but I can never seem to actually take the photos well." Clarke had said it as a joke, but there was an underlying truth. Clarke was never an avid photographer; her choice of medium had always been paint. 

"Nyko, stop pestering the girls." Indra scolded, "Why don't you two go grab the last few boxes from the garage while we sort out the ornaments in here?" 

Clarke looked at Lexa and nodded, standing up. "Lead the way." 

And the brunette did. She led Clarke through the house out the front door, over to the garage door on the side of the house. The garage was dark, but that was fixed when Lexa flipped a switch, illuminating the area in a dark glow. Clarke could hear the wind blowing outside as they stepped into the garage. There wasn't heating in the area; it seemed like it was mostly used for storage. The lack of heat in the garage sent a literal chill down Clarke's spine. 

_'They're over here, in the corner.'_ Lexa signed before motioning to the boxes. Clarke followed and picked one up, carrying it back towards the house. 

They were halfway in the hallway when Lexa set her box down, stopping Clarke. 

_'I'm... sorry if my dad can be a little... over the top. He's a proud dad; he likes to talk about my accomplishments.'_ She explained, a blush forming on her cheeks. 

Clarke tried not to take it to heart. She wished her own father would talk about her like that. Clarke wasn't even sure that Jake remembered the mural. 

Lexa must've noticed Clarke zone out. She waved her hand near Clarke's face, trying to get the blonde's attention. 

_'Everything okay?'_

She knew it was probably best to lie; to cover up what was really going on in her head. But she felt like she could trust Lexa the way that she trusted Aden. They came from the same family; while they may not be blood they were still raised the same way. So why wouldn't she be able to trust Lexa? 

_'My... dad hasn't been around a lot,'_ Clarke signed, not wanting Indra to overhear. She wanted to tell people on her own terms, even if Indra was nice enough. _'Busy with work, and my mom hasn't been the best either. They don't seem... interested in what I do anymore.'_

Lexa frowned, _'Have you tried talking to them?'_

_'I tried talking to my mom about it yesterday, but we ended up arguing. I stayed at a friend's house last night.'_

_'I'm... sorry that your family isn't around, Clarke.'_ Lexa paused. 

Clarke didn't fail to notice what her name sign was. 

"Beautiful", with a C.

She wondered who came up with that sign. 

_'You should know that you always have a family over here, though. Whether you want to believe it or not.'_ Lexa was teasing, Clarke could tell. It wasn't just because of the smirk on her face, but she had a feeling that Aden had talked to Lexa about everything. It made sense, really. 

_'Thank you, Lexa... It really means a lot.'_

_'It's no problem,'_ Lexa signed. She began to bend down to pick up the box, her eyes lingering on Clarke in case the blonde started to stay anything else. Something on the ceiling caught her eye, however, and she looked up. 

Clarke's eyes followed suit, and upon seeing what was hanging from the ceiling a blush formed on her cheeks. 

Indra had hung a mistletoe in the hallway. 

She was sure that Indra had meant well when she put it there. Something out of the way; an excuse to take cute photos of loved ones when they stopped by. Herself and Nyko, Octavia and Lincoln, possibly. Maybe even Costia and Lexa. But Clarke was sure that Indra hadn't intended for Clarke and Lexa to be stuck under the mistletoe. 

_'I wasn't expecting mom to hang this here this year.'_ Lexa confessed, standing back up. 

_'Oh, it's okay,'_ Clarke started, shrugging it off. 

_'We can just... pretend we didn't see it.'_

She didn't want to pretend that she hadn't seen it. She didn't want to act as if it wasn't even there. 

_'What if... I don't want to pretend?'_

Clarke's eyes grew at Lexa's statement. She wasn't sure what to think of it. What about Costia? What about _Aden_? There were a million questions going through her mind. 

But she didn't push the brunette away when Lexa started leaning in. 

The questions in her mind continued. What did this mean? Did Lexa like her in a way _other_ than a friend? If they kissed, what would come of their friendship? 

Lexa's hand fell on Clarke's shoulder. It was a light grip; enough for the brunette to keep her balance. 

Clarke was leaning in too, now. 

Their lips almost touched -- Clarke could feel Lexa's breath on her lips. 

"Clarke? Are you guys back in yet?" 

Aden's voice rang out through the house to the hallway where she and Lexa stood. That alone was enough of a sign for Clarke to gently push Lexa back, despite the confused look on the brunette's face. Lexa looked almost hurt. 

_'Aden called for us.'_ Clarke explained, nodding towards the living room. _'We... We should probably go.'_

She didn't want to go. She wanted to know what Lexa's lips felt like against her own. 

( She knew she shouldn't feel like that. Her own conscious was belittling her for wanting that. ) 

_'So... it's not because you didn't want to kiss me?'_

Clarke smiled. _'It's not that at all.'_

Lexa returned the smile, and they grabbed the boxes from the floor, taking them into the living room. And Clarke spent the day decorating with the family; laughing and smiling and creating new memories that she wouldn't forget. She just knew that she'd have to talk to Lexa about that little moment she had with the girl at a later time. 

\-----------

That afternoon, Clarke went home with a happy heart and every intention to talk things out with her mother. She knew Abby was home because her mother's car was still in the driveway; a layer of snow covering the usually pristine vehicle. She walked into her own house, immediately smelling what she knew as her mother's homemade cookies. Something that Abby hadn't made in months; Clarke realized the last time Abby had baked was the previous Christmas. It gave the blonde hope. 

"Mom?" 

"Oh, Clarke. Thank God. I was getting worried." Abby walked out of the kitchen, immediately pulling Clarke into a hug.

"I was just with a few friends, mom," Clarke muttered, slightly unable to breathe from the way Abby was hugging her. It was almost as if things were going back to normal. Clarke had an off feeling. 

"You're baking?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yes, well, there's a surprise --" 

"--Surprise, my beautiful family!" 

Clarke turned in an instant, a grin falling over her features as she saw her father walk through the door. "Dad!" She exclaimed, walking over to hug him. 

Suddenly, a bigger wave of happiness engulfed her. Jake was home early; it seemed like they were going to be able to have a dinner together. And while she still had that off feeling, she wasn't going to take this for granted. 

"Hey baby girl." Jake smiled, kissing the top of Clarke's head. "Your mom is making cookies, isn't she?" He asked, causing Clarke's smile to grow bigger. 

"Yeah, I'm not sure --" 

"Well, every Christmas tree trip needs snacks along the way." Abby interrupted, pulling the cookies out of the oven. 

"We're going to get a tree?" 

"Of course, Clarke. Why else would I be home early?" 

"We just have to wait for these to cool off and then we're heading out. How does that sound?" Abby asked. 

Clarke looked between her parents, trying to bite back how happy she _actually_ was, "That sounds amazing." 

So once the cookies cooled, they were off to the Christmas tree farm where Clarke picked the biggest one she could. And they took it home in her father's truck, the smell of pine overwhelming in the vehicle from the needles stuck to their jackets. But Clarke didn't mind; she felt like a kid again. As if this one little thing was enough to make everything okay, even if just for a little while. 

That feeling didn't last very long, however.

They did have dinner together as a family again. All sat around the table, sharing stories of how things were going in their individual lives. 

"So, Aden and I --" 

"Have I mentioned what Thelonious and I are working on?" 

Jake and Clarke started talking at the same time. But her father's voice overpowered Clarke's; she had no choice but to let him talk first. 

"What is it?" Abby asked. 

"It's called Project Exodus." Jake began, taking a sip from his drink before he continued. "Thelonious has this great idea for a new chain of entertainment bars. They'll start off here, in Annapolis, to test the waters. Live music, drinks, dances numbers. Pure entertainment. Also, 18+. Jaha's already looking in New York for further locations, but he wants it to start off here.

"It's going to take a decent amount of space," He continued, "Think of it like Dave and Busters. Like I said, adult entertainment. Thing is, there's not a lot of free space in Annapolis. So Jaha's going to be buying out some businesses. Does it suck? Of course. But this is huge." 

"What'll happen to the small business owners?" Abby asked. 

"Thelonious plans to offer them jobs at Exodus. Not to mention pay them for their buildings of course. But that's all a lot of complicated stuff. He wants me to go check out the businesses in the few areas he was looking at. See how they're doing." 

It didn't seem like Jake was sympathetic towards the businesses at all. That's how things seemed to be with her father lately. 

"Why?" 

Clarke wasn't even partaking in the conversation anymore. She was just listening to her mother and father going back and forth. 

"I think he wants to pick the lowest income businesses to buy out. If they're already doing poorly, they'll be easier to buy out." 

The rest of dinner went like that. Jake and Abby talking; Clarke trying to pitch in her own conversation points about school or art or _something_ going on in her life, but each time she was interrupted. Eventually she had enough of it, and when she finished her meal she excused herself to go up to her room. 

She wanted things to be different. She had _hoped_ that things were going to go back to normal; that her father would be home more often and they'd be able to be a family again. It seemed like things could never go in her favor, however. 

She laid down for what felt like hours, just staring at her ceiling and getting lost in thought. It wasn't until she got a text that she actually checked the time; it was really late. 

_**Lexa:** Want to see a few photos I took today?_

She was confused as to why Lexa was texting her at ten thirty on a Sunday night. They had fun earlier in the day, even after their little moment, but the text still surprised her. 

_**Clarke:** Sure._

They texted back and forth for an hour. Lexa sending Clarke pictures from the day and Clarke commenting on them. It was making Clarke feel better about the dinner with her parents. 

_**Clarke:** Do you want to see the mural Aden and I have been working on?_

_**Lexa:** Right now?_

_**Clarke:** Yeah. Why not?_

_**Lexa:** What if we get caught?_

Clarke was in the middle of typing when another text came through. 

_**Lexa:** Scratch that. I'm in._

She hadn't expected Lexa to say yes. But the brunette did, and Clarke found herself carefully walking downstairs past her parents room and out to her car. It didn't take a lot of silence; she could hear the television from her parents room loud and clear. They must've fallen asleep watching a movie. 

But soon Clarke was away from her house and driving towards the Woods' residence, planning on picking Lexa up. They drove to Arkadia, parking near the front. There wasn't another car in sight; everyone already having gone home. It was nearing midnight; Clarke expected it to be completely empty. 

They walked to the building in the low light provided by the parking lot's lamps; Lexa only knowing where to go because of Clarke's guidance. The brunette was curious as to how Clarke planned on getting them inside, but before she could ask Clarke had pulled out a keycard that immediately allowed them into the building. Clarke pulled out her phone to use as a light as she turned to Lexa. _'I just want to stop by my locker real quick to grab some paints.'_ She explained; Lexa nodded. 

With the paints in hand Clarke led Lexa to the performing arts hallway, right up to her mural. She had turned on the light for that specific block not long before. It was a couple lights; enough to allow them to see but not enough to cause a disturbance to the otherwise quiet school. Clarke wanted to show Lexa what she could do. Lexa had already shown Clarke some photographs, and now it was Clarke's turn. 

_'Want to help?'_ Clarke asked before she taped the reference sketch to the wall. She had made a photocopy of their original design so both she and Aden had a smaller copy. 

_'I can't promise that I'll do a good job, but sure.'_

Clarke grinned, handing Lexa a paintbrush. The blonde had played music for her own enjoyment; the silence of the school starting to get to her after some time. But they painted, making simple conversation here and there. It was nice; simple. They didn't spend too much time on it; at some point Clarke put down her own paintbrush and stepped back to look at the mural. 

_'I can't believe you and Aden put this together in such a short amount of time.'_ Lexa stated, _'It's impressive.'_

Clarke grinned, pushing a strand of hair from her face. It left a white streak against her cheek from the paint on her hand. She didn't really mind. 

_'It took us about a month to get to this point, but... It was really fun working on it with him. I enjoyed it a lot.'_ It was easier for Clarke to sign along than try and talk, just in case anyone else did show up in the school. She didn't want to seem as if she was talking to herself. 

_'He told me that he told you he likes you at homecoming.'_ Lexa confessed.

 _'Yeah, he did.'_ Clarke sighed, _'But I don't.. I don't like him that way. He's like a brother.'_

Lexa chuckled, moving to sit down against the lockers across from the mural. _'Ouch. I'm sure he'll love to hear that.'_

Clarke rolled her eyes as she slid down the lockers, sitting next to Lexa. _'Shut up. He's... a great friend. And I don't want to ruin things.'_

_'I don't blame you. Relationships make friendships messy.'_

Clarke thought about it for a moment, lingering on Lexa's 

words before she started signing again. _'Is that what happened with you and Costia?'_ She had learned Costia's name sign early on; along with the others. It made things easier than trying to fingerspell it out every time. 

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that things between Lexa and Costia had started off one way and turned into something else. Clarke saw it every time the two would fight; every time Costia's name went unsaid in the Woods' household. It was like Lexa didn't even enjoy talking about her own girlfriend. 

Lexa sighed, but nodded. _'Yeah. We started off as best friends. She's the one who showed us to Polis Middle School; not long after I was adopted. Her and her mother, at least. Nyko and I had run into them while school shopping. Her mother told Nyko about Polis. That's kinda irrelevant, though.'_ The brunette shrugged, continuing, _'One day, we were hanging out by the lake. It was my birthday. Anya and Nyko were making food, Indra and Aden were swimming. The sun was setting, and we were just talking off to the side on a ledge overlooking the water.'_

The way Lexa was talking about it made it seem like it was a fond memory. She continued signing. 

_'Then she... asked to kiss me. I said yes and it completely changed our dynamic. We started dating a week later.'_

_'You... don't seem happy with her now. What changed?'_ Clarke asked. 

Lexa shrugged. Clarke glanced around the hallway, making sure they were alone. Despite it being after midnight that didn't stop the occasional student from sneaking into the building for one reason or another. Clarke herself had been one of them a time or two purely because of Murphy wanting to get weed out of his locker. 

_'We were about to be sophomores when we started dating. There was this girl, Luna. She started out at Polis that same year. She was hard of hearing, but just started losing her hearing because of genetics; her uncle was deaf, not her parents. They had enrolled her at Polis so she could learn how to sign, just in case she lost all her hearing. I befriended her; Costia did too. We tried to teach her sign.'_

Lexa paused, swallowing. As if this story was hard for her to tell. 

_'Eventually, Luna gave up. Opted for a cochlear instead of signing so she didn't have to bother learning. And she transferred out. Costia was a wreck. Turns out she and Luna had gotten... really, really close when I wasn't around.'_

It didn't take Clarke long to realize what Lexa was saying. 

_'She cheated, didn't she?'_ The blonde asked. 

Lexa's nod confirmed it. _'She and Luna hooked up while I was at an art thing for Aden. And when Luna left, Costia took it to heart. That's why she was so against hearing people. Because everyone gives up eventually, like Luna.'_

_'I haven't given up.'_

_'You're different. Aden and I can tell.'_

_'Was her cheating what caused things to be rocky?'_

_'Kind of. She got... controlling. Always wanting to know where I was going, getting upset when I didn't text back right away, so on so forth. I guess she was afraid of me leaving. Apparently a lot of people have left her; her father included. But that's not my story to tell.'_

_'That's why you haven't broken things off, even with the way she treats Aden and I.'_

Lexa nodded again, _'I don't want to be another person to just leave her.'_

Clarke sighed, thinking a moment before she turned to Lexa again. _'Lexa, her behavior is abusive.'_

 _'She doesn't hit me. She never has.'_ Lexa brushed it off. 

_'You don't have to hit someone to be abusive. You said so yourself; she's controlling.'_

_'She's just afraid I'm going to walk away.'_

_'Maybe you should.'_

Lexa sighed and took Clarke's hand for a moment, squeezing it softly before she dropped it again. Clarke immediately missed the touch. 

_'I just don't want her to be alone again.'_

_'So you'll suffer through her behavior?'_

_'Rather me than someone else.'_

Clarke sighed, running a hand through her hair. _'Lexa, that's not living. You deserve someone better.'_

Lexa looked at Clarke, then at their hands that didn't move since Lexa let go of the blonde's. Their pinkies were touching. She looked back at the blonde, _'Like who?'_

Clarke went to say something, but before she could she heard a noise coming from down the hallway. Quickly, she turned off her music and stood, smiling sheepishly at the security guard. When questioned she explained that she and her friend were working on the mural, but the guard asked them to leave anyways. So Clarke took Lexa home and went home herself, realizing that she shouldn't have left the conversation unfinished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really curious to see how you guys react to this chapter. Let me know!


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Woods family tradition, featuring the tremendous trio. Another Abby / Clarke argument. Continuation of Project Exodus, and a small Clexa moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo — hey guys. Life’s been busy. Finals week kicked my ass and to top it off, I haven’t had internet the past few days. Actually posting this from my phone because I was itching to get a chapter out. That being said, if you have / had finals this week, I hope you do / did great! Here’s a treat to relax with. And on the topic of it being posted from my phone, I apologize in advance if there’s any form of errors.

It was the little things, Clarke realized. The little things that made her feel safe; completely forgetting the tragic mess that was her home life and throwing her into a serenity that she could only think to describe what _home_ felt like. The way Indra hummed to herself in the kitchen, bustling about as she prepared for dinner. Nyko in the chair, reading the newspaper that Clarke hadn’t even realized still made its rounds. In Seattle, the paper was usually only in stands in corner party shops. But yet, here in Annapolis, it seemed that there was still a lone paper boy, or mail truck, that still delivered the paper straight to the mailboxes. She could hear the softer sounds of what was obviously loud music coming from upstairs; Anya’s room. The older blonde had come home for winter break after she finished finals and had been cooped up there since Clarke arrived at the house with Aden. 

It was the way Aden busied himself with the clicker of his pen; clicking it once, twirling it in his fingers only to click it again as he worked on the math problem that had him stumped. 

The only lacking sense of home was Lexa upstairs in her room with Costia. 

The blonde had been thinking a lot about what Lexa had told her that night in Arkadia. How Costia had manipulated the brunette into staying; making Lexa believe that she was the saving grace Costia needed. And maybe Lexa was, but Clarke believed that Costia didn’t deserve Lexa. Clarke believed that nobody really deserved Lexa; the girl whose tongue stuck out when she was focused, the girl whose signing quickened when she was talking about something she loved. And while Clarke struggled to keep up sometimes, she never asked Lexa to slow down. Because when Lexa was excited; it was a sight to see. She wouldn’t want to damper the joy on the girls’ face. 

It was a Friday afternoon; the last Friday of the semester. They had midterms next week; Monday-Wednesday despite their first one taking place earlier that day. After that they were free until the New Year where hundreds of students would walk into school claiming “new year, new me” only to forget about their resolutions halfway through January, just like the rest of the world’s population. 

She and Aden were studying while they waited for the rest of their group. It was a tradition with the Woods’ children; Secret Santa. They’d invite Octavia and Lincoln over, then they’d pick names from a hat and decide who was assigned to who. A fun tradition that Aden suggested extending to Clarke, Raven and Murphy. 

Aden had to warn Indra ahead of time that Raven and Murphy were quick to make any home they were welcome in just like a second home, just so it didn’t come as a surprise when the duo let themselves in. 

When Aden was discussing it with Clarke, he made sure to mention that Costia didn’t know about the tradition. It was kept between the Woods’ ( and Octavia and Lincoln, by extension ), but really, Aden just didn’t want anyone to be stuck having to buy a present for the queen of bitches herself. 

Knowing Lexa’s story with Costia, Clarke didn’t blame him. 

She was going over her Chemistry review when she heard the pair of girls coming down the stairs. She couldn’t see them, but she couldn’t help but keep an ear out in case things went awry. Lexa had assured her that Costia wouldn’t touch her; that Costia wasn’t that kind of person. But Clarke had read about these kinds of relationships, and anything could go wrong at any point. 

Knowing Indra was still in the kitchen gave her a sense of relief. 

It wasn’t long before she heard the shutting of the door and Lexa joined the rest of them in the living room, taking a seat next to Clarke. Lexa looked happy; looked content. And really, that was what mattered. It meant that Costia hadn’t said anything to her, despite Clarke knowing that the girl had gotten upset with Lexa when the brunette hadn’t answered her the night Lexa was with Clarke. 

_’What’re you studying?’_ Lexa asked, looking over Clarke’s shoulder. 

_’C-H-E-M-I-S-T-R-Y.’_ The blonde sighed, setting her pen down on the packet. _’My final is Monday, and I barely understand half of it.’_

_’I could help, I took Chemistry,’_ Lexa paused, showing Clarke the correct sign for “chemistry”, _’Last year. It’s not that hard when you get the hang of it._

_’At least one of us understands this stuff.’_

So Lexa helped Clarke study for Chemistry; Aden on the other side of the blonde continuing to work on his math. And for the moment, Clarke was completely distracted from everything happening outside of their little bubble. 

That is, until Raven and Murphy walked right inside. 

“Holy shit, it’s cold out there.” Raven announced with a shiver, pulling her jacket tighter around her small frame. Clarke looked up when she heard her friend, just in time to see Indra poke her head out the window. 

“You must be Raven and Murphy.” She stated, a hint of amusement in her voice. 

“Uh... Yeah. Raven,” The girl pointed to herself, then to Murphy. “Murphy.” 

Indra nodded. “The others are in the living room. We’re just waiting for Lincoln and Octavia.” 

Raven waited for the older woman to turn back around before she released a breath and mouthed “whoopee”. 

Clarke snorted from the living room. Despite her attempts, it was clear that Raven still wasn’t the “popular” couple’s biggest fan. 

_’What’s so funny?’_ Lexa asked, feeling the vibration from Clarke next to her. 

It was then that she noticed she and Lexa were touching shoulders. 

_’Raven and Murphy are here. Raven mouthed something a little funny.’_ She replied, pointing to the duo who entered. 

“What is this? You lame-os really studying on a Friday night? The hell?” Raven asked, shedding herself of her coat. 

Clarke could hear Indra scoff from the kitchen; she assumed it was due to Raven’s language. 

“Some of us actually care about our grades,” Aden mumbled, only setting his pen down to sign. He had his hearing aids in, allowing him to remain focused on the problem on his paper while still knowing what was going on. 

Clarke wondered how long it would be until the aids didn’t help him anymore. 

“Besides,” The boy continued, “We can’t even start until Lincoln and Octavia arrive. It’s why Anya isn’t down here yet.” 

The music radiating from upstairs seemed to only get louder for emphasis. It was clear Anya didn’t enjoy headphones. 

“Damn, math that hard?” Raven asked, plopping down on the couch next to Aden. “Here, lemme help.” She glanced at Murphy who only shrugged, opting to sit on the floor in front of the coffee table. 

Raven, it seemed, was actually really good at math. She guided Aden through the math packet just as easily as Lexa guided Clarke through her chemistry one. They had finished their review packets in no time at all, and at a quarter to six the music from upstairs shut off, signaling Anya’s soon descent down the stairs. Lincoln and Octavia arrived fifteen minutes later. 

_’Okay guys,’_ Nyko began; Indra translated for those who couldn’t sign. _’There’s eight names in this hat; one for each of you. The rules of Secret Santa are simple: draw a name out of the hat; if you get your own name put it back and draw again. Don’t tell the others of the group who you got; it ruins the surprise. We all find out together on Christmas Day who got who. Lincoln, you’re up first.’_

Lincoln stood and walked over to the hat, drawing his name. His expression was unreadable as he pocketed the piece of paper and walked back over to sit down. 

The rest of the group went up one by one, with Octavia following Lincoln and it ending off with Anya. When it was Clarke’s turn, she tried to not give away who she got with a facial expression, but she was certain if any of her friends were highly observant they’d know she’d gotten who she’d least expected. 

The piece of paper Clarke plucked from the hat for Secret Santa held none other than Lexa’s name. 

—————

_**Saturday, Dec. 16th.** _

The following day Clarke had arranged a study session at her house for herself, Aden, Raven and Murphy. Originally it was just going to be herself and Aden, but after Raven showing off her math skills on Friday, Clarke wanted the brunette’s help as well. And everyone knew that if Raven was going somewhere, Murphy wasn’t far behind. They were a package deal, unless it was work they were doing. 

She was waiting in the living room for her friends to show up, and Aden was the first to arrive. She greeted him, allowing him inside and offering him a drink, much like she did all the time with guests. It was a common courtesy she had imbedded into her brain thanks to her parents. 

They were sitting in the kitchen when Abby made her appearance. Clarke had actually forgotten that her mother was home the previous night. 

“Oh, hello,” Abby began, walking into the kitchen. Clarke tapped the counter to get Aden’s attention and began interpreting for her mother. He had yet to put his hearing aids in. “I’ve yet to meet any of Clarke’s friends; I’m Abby, her mother.” 

Aden smiled a response, “Pleasure to meet you Mrs. Griffin. I’m Aden.” He offered his hand for her to shake, which she happily did. 

“You as well, Aden.” She smiles at Aden, then turned to Clarke, “Clarke, can I speak with you a moment?” 

Clarke sighed, but nodded, turning to Aden. “You can take these up to my room,” she explained, motioning to his drink and the small plate of cookies she had gotten out as a pre-study snack for them. “Second door on the left. _I’ve a feeling this is going to be an intense conversation._ ” She added the last part purely in sign, knowing that Abby didn’t know the language. 

Aden nodded and made his way up the stairs. Abby had waited until he was out of sight to turn back to Clarke. 

“I think we should talk about our little argument the other day.” Her voice was quiet; too quiet for Clarke’s comfort. 

“He can’t hear you, mom. He’s hard of hearing; hasn’t even put in his hearing aids. We can talk normally.”

“Is that what those hand movements were for?”

“Sign Language, and yes. What is it you wanted to discuss?”

“You were out of line yelling at me like that.” Abby explained, crossing her arms. 

“I was out of line?” The blonde scoffed, “I think _you and dad_ were out of line when you decided that I don’t matter anymore.” 

She was being unreasonable and she knew it. But lately Clarke felt forgotten about by her own parents. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Abby was silent for a moment; thinking. It made Clarke wonder what all the older woman had to even think about. “What gave you that impression?” 

“You haven’t been home,” Clarke was quick to start a list, “You don’t listen to me. The other night at dinner with dad I tried multiple times to tell you that I’m almost finished with my mural. Every time I try to do something nice; expecting to have a dinner with my family, expecting us to continue our traditions on Saturday morning — Hell, freaking _homecoming_ mom. Every time I needed you guys there, or wanted you there, you weren’t. You’ve been working non-stop since we’ve moved.” 

“That’s just life, Clarke! We’re busy! We’re trying to be successful and create a better life for—“ 

“For what?” Clarke asked rhetorically, cutting off her mother, “For me? Mom I was raised on money. _Dad’s_ money. Everyone I talk to knows about the _great_ life I live based purely on my clothes —“ 

“Clarke —“ 

“No, mom! This isn’t normal! Nothing about how we’re living now is normal. Working consistently, never being home. That’s not normal. And yes, I have a problem with this. I told you before, I want my family back.” The blonde sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Are you guys even going to be home for Christmas?” 

Before Abby could answer, the door opened, causing both their heads to turn. 

“So... yeah I heard yelling, and I was going to send Murph in to investigate, but he kinda — y’know, we’re just going to go upstairs —“ Raven tried, pulling Murphy along as she headed for the stairs. 

Clarke held out her hand, urging them to stop and they did. She walked over to them and smiled, before turning back to her mother, the smile gone. 

“Mom, this is Raven Reyes and John Murphy.” 

“I go by Murphy.” Murphy shrugged, saying the most he had in the past day and a half. 

“They’re some more of my friends from school. And they’re here to help Aden and I study. At least _they’re_ there when I need them.” 

And with that, Clarke turned, leading the two of them upstairs. 

“Geez, Griff,” Murphy mumbled once Clarke’s bedroom door was closed, “Trouble in paradise?” 

“Shut up Murphy,” Clarke sighed, sitting down next to Aden on her bed. “She’s just... not being a mother anymore.” 

“I know that feeling,” Murphy sighed, sitting down on the floor again. 

The moment was heavy, but quickly broke into that of a softer one when Aden looked up slowly at Clarke, “...Can I have some more cookies?” 

————

_**Sunday, Dec. 17th.** _

Clarke sat at a lone table in the corner of the coffee shop, not far from the front counter. Raven stood behind it, decked in a uniform that was the complete _opposite_ of what she usually wore, tending to customers and going about her daily routine. After the second argument with Abby, Clarke went home with Raven and Murphy and planned on going home with them again that night. Despite knowing her father was going to be at the house, it just didn’t feel like home anymore. 

She tapped at her laptop, scrolling through various social media websites and trying to busy herself while she waited for Raven’s shift to be over. It was relatively quiet in the shop, aside from a couple on the other side of the room talking quietly to themselves and a businessman near the door tapping louder than he should be on his own computer. Clarke was on her third cup of coffee that afternoon; if she wasn’t so used to the drink ( long nights in her studio ) she’d be bouncing off the walls. 

“So what’s the deal with you and Aden?” Raven asked suddenly, causing Clarke to look over at her questioningly. “Don’t give me that look. It’s obvious that he likes you, and cares about you a lot.” 

So Raven was the observant one in the group. 

“Nothing? We’re friends. Friends care about each other; it’s not always the bickering you and Murphy do.” 

“See, there’s a difference. Murphy and I aren’t just _friends_ , we’re family. But you and Aden are different.” Raven insisted, wiping down the counter. 

“We’re just friends, Ray.” 

Raven nodded, “Is that why you and his sister are suddenly all buddy-buddy?” 

“I barely know Anya.” 

“Not miss tall, dark and broody,” Raven scoffed, “Lexa.” 

The confused look was back, “What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, blondie. I’ve seen that smile when you talk to her, saw the way you two were all cuddled up on the couch while we were over there on Friday. Not to mention how Aden’s mentioned you being over there multiple times, only to fall asleep on the couch with her in the very same spot. So, spill.” 

Yep, Raven was definitely the observant one. 

“There’s nothing to tell. We’re friends, she’s got a girlfriend. And I’ve spent just as many nights at your place.” 

“Mhm.” 

Clarke sighed, knowing she could trust Raven — “And... we may have almost kissed.” 

“No shit? Damn, Clarke. Didn’t take you for a homewrecker.” 

The smirk on Raven’s face told the blonde she was kidding. But the comment still stung. 

“Yeah, well... there’s a lot that happens behind closed doors.” 

The conversation was kept light after that. Customers came and went and before she knew it Raven was closing up and all but pushing Clarke out of the coffee shop. They drove Murphy’s beat up truck through town ( It was too snowy for Raven’s bike ) to pick up dinner, then headed back to Raven’s place. And Murphy was sprawled out on the couch, lit cigarette in hand in a position similar to how Clarke first met him. There was a breeze coming through the apartment through the open balcony door, but it didn’t make the overall room too cold. 

“Get up, asshat. We got food.” 

And all it took was Raven saying that to jumpstart their night. 

——————

_**Monday, Dec. 18th. Evening.** _

The restaurant was dim; a lighting set to fit the mood of an intimate setting, but the dinner itself wasn’t that intimate. To her right sat her father, already knee-deep in conversation with Thelonious who sat across from him; Wells on his side. She hadn’t seen the younger Jaha since she moved; Wells had gone to college in Seattle, being two years older than Clarke. But they grew up together, and Clarke trusted Wells like a brother even if she didn’t agree with his father’s decisions sometimes. 

They were discussing Exodus again. It seems like the plans were becoming final. 

“As I was saying, Clarke,” Jake stated, pulling the blonde from her thoughts. “I think you could make a great manager for Exodus. During the off-school season, of course. When you’re in town.” He explained, “It’ll be a great first job for you while you’re talking to galleries.” 

At least Jake remembered that Clarke wanted to go to school for art. 

And really, she wasn’t sure where she was planning to go. She had thought a lot about different schools, all in different states, but even applied to a few on the east coast before she even knew they were moving. When it came down to it, Clarke was just grateful that her father had been thinking about her. 

“Maybe I should start off smaller, though? I don’t exactly have a lot of experience in... managing adult Chuck-E-Cheese’s.” 

Wells snorted from across the table. 

“Oh, of course. But right now we’re just planning. Thelonious believes that we’ve finally settled on where we want it to go. We’re going to drive by after; see how you both feel. We really want your input on location and designing; it’s people your age that we’re really aiming for in customers.” Jake explained. 

Wells had come along for the trip because Thelonious had told his son the same thing Jake had just told Clarke. If Exodus went through, they’d be working together when they weren’t in school. It didn’t sound so bad in theory; Clarke believed that she’d have a lot of fun working with him. 

They finished their meals; Wells and Clarke mostly talking about school whereas Thelonious and Jake continued on with their previous discussion. Afterwards they all piled into Jake’s truck; Wells and Clarke sitting in the back. 

The drive through Annapolis was quiet, save for the conversation in the front. It was then that Clarke realized her father just _never_ stopped talking, but she blamed that on spending too much time with Raven and Murphy as well as her pre-annoyance with her parents. Because it seemed like if it didn’t relate to their jobs, her parents didn’t care about a thing. 

The block that Jake pointed out to them wasn’t huge in size. A small block full of small, local businesses that, from what Clarke could tell, weren’t actually that populated. Some of them were even already closed despite it being only five on a Monday evening. Clarke had blocked out most of the conversation early on, but when Jake mentioned that one of the businesses was actually a gym, she perked up. 

And there, on the corner of the block in all it’s glory, was Delinquent’s Arena. 

—————

Clarke had returned to the block the next day after school, telling her friends that she’d text them later. Right then, her only focus was to warn Indra and Nyko about what Jaha had planned; she was only hoping that they were at the gym and not at home. 

Jake had told her to check out the businesses when she got the chance. She didn’t want to tell him that the parents of her best friend owned the gym that he seemed to carefree to destroy. She felt like he wouldn’t care, because “business is business, and sometimes you have to make drastic choices”. 

She was really staring to loathe her own family name. 

She walked into the gym doors; a small bell at the top of it rang out signaling her presence. It didn’t seem unlively; in fact it seemed that the gym itself was well loved. The walls were painted white with a dark green trim running around them halfway; various doors leading to other rooms and mats lining the floor. It was all Clarke could see through the windows in the hallway leading her to the front desk; she assumed the rest of the workout equipment was in one of the other rooms. 

“Welcome to Delinquent’s Arena,” The woman at the desk said, her hands signing along. Clarke knew that that was the doing of Nyko and Indra, without a doubt. “I haven’t seen you around before, how can I help you?” The woman’s nameplate said Echo. 

“Hi, ah, I’m looking for Nyko and Indra?” She asked, signing — just in case. 

“They’re currently in a meeting, but if you’d like I can schedule an appointment with them. Are you looking to apply for a membership?” 

“Oh, uh, no, that’s okay.” Clarke hoped that the meeting wasn’t with Thelonious; it wouldn’t surprise her if the man worked that quickly. “I’m a friend of the family; just wanted to talk to them for a moment.” 

Echo hummed, “I see. Well, I’m actually not sure how long the meeting will take, but you’re welcome to hang around here for a bit, check out the gym. From a family friend to a family friend, I’d suggest getting a membership or a class, honestly. They’re kinda...” She sighed, glancing over through the windows. A group seemed to be warming up for a class. “They’re struggling.” 

“I’ll... think about it.” Clarke chewed her lip and leaned against the desk, looking over at the class then back at Echo. “How do you know them? The Woods’, I mean.” 

“I went to school with Anya and Bellamy,” Echo paused a moment, “I’m assuming if you know the Woods family you know who Bellamy is.” 

Clarke nodded, “Octavia’s brother.” 

“When we graduated, Anya went off to New York, Bell headed off to Mountain U and I... well, I stuck around for community college. Indra offered me a job here, because it’s not that easy to find a decent job when you can only hear halfway.” Echo explained. 

Clarke hummed. Echo was being highly open with her; she wondered if it was because she mentioned she knew the Woods family. 

“That’s... gotta suck. I go to school with Aden, and even I can tell how much he struggles sometimes. Imagining that in the workplace is just... it doesn’t sound friendly.” 

Echo shook her head, “It’s not. I’m proud of him, for attending a hearing school, but... it only gets harder.” 

The conversation fell silent and the two of them sat watching the group warm up through the glass. It wasn’t long before a pair walked into the room, instructing the class. One was signing, and the other seemed to be speaking. Upon closer inspection, Clarke realized it was Lincoln and Lexa. 

“Lexa teaches?” Clarke asked, turning to Echo. 

“Yep. She and Lincoln are a duo; there’s not a lot of people who can teach self defense but also sign. Since Lexa was trained at a young age, it wasn’t a surprise that she picked up the teaching position. Lincoln’s around to help out for the few people that can hear in the class.” 

“So it’s mostly deaf or hard of hearing?” 

Echo nodded, “When word got around the community that Indra and Nyko started a gym, people started showing up. But, since the deaf community isn’t _that_ large, and, no offense, hearing people don’t want to be taught by a bunch of ‘deafies’,” She used the term loosely, as if she despised the word itself, “They don’t really attend the classes. Many prefer the chain gyms that’re all over the place.” 

Clarke chewed her lip again, looking back at the group. “Could I... sit in on the class?” 

Echo smiled at her, “Go ahead. And if you need anything else, you know where to find me.” 

Clarke made her way into the bigger room of the gym, noticing the drastic change in space and temperature. It was a lot warmer in this part of the gym, probably to accommodate for the smaller amount of clothing one would wear while working out. She caught the attention of Lincoln and Lexa, smiling and waving in their direction as she sat down. 

The more she watched, the more she saw just how effortlessly Lincoln and Lexa worked as a team. Lexa would sign quickly, Lincoln would interpret and as they instructed the specific moves, they’d still manage to continue on with communication. It was rather outstanding how easily they worked together. 

When the class broke for break, Lexa made her way over to the blonde. 

_’So, you thinking about joining the class?’_ She asked, a grin on her face as she stood in front of Clarke. 

_’Maybe,’_ Clarke paused, _’I’m not the most coordinated with my body so it might take a little bit to get to your level.’_

The way she joked so easily made Lexa’s grin wider. _’I think that’s a challenge I’m willing to take.’_

Clarke smiled, _’So why self...’_ She frowned, unable to find the right sign in her head — Echo had moved too quickly, _’D-E-F-E-N-S-E?’_

_’Defense,’_ Lexa filled in for her, _’And because... well, it’s simple.’_ The brunette sat down beside her, _’Anything can happen. I’m deaf, gay, and a woman. And frankly, those things are highly taken advantage of no matter where you are.’_

_’I never thought of it that way.’_

Lexa shrugged, _’Either way, I’m glad you stopped by. It’s not often I get to see such a pretty face in this gym.’_ She looked over at Lincoln, who told her that the break was over, _’But I gotta go. Stay for the class; Lincoln and I usually pick up Octavia after and get ice cream.’_

Clarke smiled at her and nodded, watching as she walked back to the group. And Clarke stayed, watching the class and even putting a few moves in the back of her mind just in case. She wasn’t able to talk to Indra and Nyko that day, but she still thought that the trip to their gym was well worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to try and bust out two more chapters before the end of the year. I make no promises but keep your eyes peeled. Let me know what you think.


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas chapter! Clarke and Abby interact again, but don't worry, things are getting better for once. Secret Santa is also a thing. It's a pretty happy chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, faithful readers! I had a great time writing this chapter. I wanted to get it out before Christmas so I had time to write the next chapter; hoping to get that out before New Years ( or, if not, soon after ). We've got some great progression here. Hope you enjoy it.

**_Saturday, Dec. 23rd_ **

The thing that Clarke was the most excited about was the fact that her parents would actually be home for Christmas. It shocked her; with the way her parents had been lately a lot of things that seemed so normal were starting to shock Clarke. Her mother had somehow managed to get Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off -- no work, not even on call. Jake and Thelonious had called a draw for the holiday, both claiming that they wanted to spend time with their families. 

It was nice. For once, Clarke felt a little happier in her home. Or she would, if things weren't still tense with Abby. 

They hadn't really talked since their argument. Part of Clarke felt selfish; like she didn't have a right to be acting the way she was towards her own mother, but another part of her felt like she was in the right. That she had every right to be upset about her parents working so much. And it seemed like every time that she was around her mother, she had this underlying feeling of anger that she wasn't sure would go away any time soon. 

They sat in the living room. Abby, glasses perched upon her nose, read a book in the chair in the corner. Clarke was sketching in her sketchbook on the other side of the room; Christmas movie repeats played on the television. Jake could be heard in the kitchen, humming to himself as he made dinner. 

Clarke had been thinking for the past few days. And the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to make it a reality. She wanted to spend Christmas with Raven and Murphy; if anything, than to make them feel apart of a family -- a bigger one. Because she felt like they had done so much for her since she met them, and she didn't feel like she was doing enough in return. 

"Mom?" Clarke asked, setting down her pencil. "I... want to invite Raven and Murphy over for Christmas." 

Abby looked at Clarke a moment, then put her bookmark in her book before she closed it. "Why?" 

"Because all they really have is each other?" Clarke began, "Because they've done so much for me since I've known them? Because they've become a part of my own, personal family? They spend every Christmas by themselves, mom. They're my best friends, and I want them there. Please?" 

Abby sighed, "Your grandmother is coming tomorrow --" 

"So that automatically means that they can't come, too? Nobody deserves to be alone on Christmas." Clarke knew that technically Raven and Murphy wouldn't be _alone_ , that they'd have each other, but she still pushed. 

"Clarke --" Abby cut herself off. Clarke looked over at her, shaking her head. 

She wasn't sure what to say to her own mother anymore. She didn't want to argue with her -- she hated how all they've been doing was argue. For years she felt like she could trust her mom; felt like her mother was her best friend and now it was as if they hated each other. "I just want them to have a good Christmas, mom." She whispered, standing up to retreat to her room. 

Abby sighed as she watched Clarke leave the room. She set her book off to the side, taking off her glasses as she stood. She wanted to fix this for Clarke; wanted to make Clarke see that Abby did care despite having to work. 

She knew how much Clarke's friends meant to her. And she knew that, in her own absence, they had been there for her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that they had been the ones keeping Clarke company while Abby and Jake were away. She had noticed a few things over the past few weeks; clothes in the laundry that didn't belong to Clarke. The alcohol stash in the cupboard slowly getting smaller -- and while she didn't really approve of underage drinking, she just hoped that Clarke was being safe. 

There had been a time or two when Abby came home late to change and she heard Clarke and her friends up in Clarke's room, or saw them out in the pool. And from what she could see, or hear, she knew that they made Clarke happy when Abby herself couldn't. She knew what she had to do. 

Abby walked into the kitchen, smiling at the grin Jake gave her. 

"She seems angsty," He commented, stirring the pot of food. 

"She's upset." Abby sighed, "She has every right to be." 

"What're you going to do about it?"

Abby tapped her fingers against the countertop, looking down at her hand then back at her husband. "I'm going to try and get them here." 

"What about my mother?" 

Abby chuckled dryly, "She can get over it. Clarke isn't happy, Jake. Not around us, not in this house. But I've seen her happy." She explained, "With them." 

Jake nodded, fishing his keys out of his pocket. "If you think you can find them, then I don't think I can stop you." 

"Nobody can stop me when I'm determined." 

"And that's exactly where Clarke gets it from." 

\---------------

Finding Raven and Murphy was a lot easier said than done. She sat in Jake's truck, scrolling for what felt like forever until she found herself on Facebook, trying to find any source of information on how to find them. She ended up on Clarke's page, going through her friends list, and soon found Raven after thinking hard about what the girl's last name was. She noticed, however, that John Murphy wasn't even on Clarke's friends list. 

But Aden was. 

She remembered Aden; he seemed nice. And after a glance on his page, he seemed like he was a good friend for Clarke to have. 

She found where Raven worked through her page. And while Abby felt a little stalker-ish with her way of finding it, it seemed like the only way Abby could make this happen for Clarke without directly asking the blonde herself. 

The drive to the coffee shop seemed longer than Abby had hoped. She knew she was running out of time; she didn't even know if Raven worked that night. But she was holding onto hope. 

She just hoped that hope was enough to get this to work. 

The coffee shop smelled of baked goods and fresh coffee grounds as Abby walked through the door. It was a cozy shop; something that reminded her of Seattle. With it being later in the evening, it didn't surprise her that there wasn't a lot of customers. She wouldn't be surprised if they were getting ready to close. 

She walked up to the counter, immediately recognizing the face behind it. 

"Well look what the cat dragged in." Raven smirked, leaning against the counter. "What can I get ya, Mama Griff?" 

Abby's eyes widened as she took in Raven's language, straightening up her back. "I... actually wanted to talk to you about something." She swallowed, noticing how Raven still seemed uninterested. 

"If you wanna hear our specials, the sign is right there." Raven explained, pointing up. 

"No, no, actually... I wanted to invite you and John over for Christmas Day." 

Raven hummed, moving to start stocking cups. "Murph and I have our own traditions. Ones that don't involve parents." 

"I... know that. I was talking with Clarke, and she mentioned that she wanted you guys there. It seemed really important to her, actually." 

"Let me guess, she tried to ask you, you told her you weren't sure, and she got upset?" Raven mused, not looking at Abby. 

"How did you-- "

"She tells me everything, or did you forget that's how best friends work?" Raven scoffed, looking at Abby. "Look, I'll talk to Murphy. We'll think about it. Can't promise anything 'cause Murphy isn't big on parents." 

Raven was lying; partially. He liked Aden's parents. But Raven wasn't going to give Abby that benefit. 

"And if he thinks it's a good idea, we'll be there." 

Abby nodded, content with that answer. "Just... one more thing?" 

Raven hummed. 

"Don't... tell Clarke about this. If you guys come, I want it to be a surprise." 

And Abby left, leaving Raven shaking her head and wondering when the hell Abby decided to suddenly care. 

\---------

_**Monday, Dec. 25th** _

Christmas was always hectic in the Griffin household. Jake's mother, Sharon, would fly in from Georgia the previous night and in the morning, they'd exchange gifts, spend time with each other and have an early dinner before Sharon dragged Abby and Jake out caroling. Clarke stopped going with the family a few years ago; never really enjoying it as much as she used to. It involved a lot of protesting from Sharon, but in the end Clarke won out. 

Currently, Clarke was sitting in her room getting ready for the day. She was freshly showered and dressed, and all that was left to do was her makeup.

She could hear her parents talking with her grandmother downstairs through her open door, albeit the voices muffled. She wasn't sure what they were talking about, but the raising of their voices didn't make her want to go downstairs. Instead, she walked over to shut her door and turned on some music.

\----------

"I'm just saying, I think Clarke would benefit more if she went to college for business or pre-med." Sharon shrugged, taking a sip of her wine. "Art isn't a _real_ career, you guys both know this."

Abby let out a huff of breath, standing and excusing herself to the kitchen. Jake sat across from his mother, his hands pressed out on the table. 

"This is what she wanted, mother. She's always loved art. And she's _amazing_ at it. You should see the work she creates." Jake offered. 

"And art is great as a hobby! But you've heard the stories of struggling artists. Do you _really_ want that for your daughter?" 

"Mom-- "

"Sharon, this is what Clarke wants. We're not going to force this on her. Jake may be great at business, and I may be great at what I do, but who's to say that's what Clarke wants? Who's to say that Clarke will be happy doing either of those things?" Abby interjected, walking back into the living room. 

"Art is not a suitible career, Abby!" 

Three heads turned when the door opened, Raven and Murphy standing in the doorway. 

"...Wow, we really have a habit of walking in on Griffin Family Drama, don't we?" Murphy mumbled, leaning towards Raven. 

"Raven, John! How wonderful of you to join us." Abby grinned, walking towards the duo to welcome them in the house. "Come in, make yourselves at home." 

"We do that enough when you're not here." Murphy mumbled again. 

"Clarke's still upstairs; I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Raven nodded, already walking up the stairs with Murphy close behind her. "Thanks, Mama G." 

\---------------------------

They let themselves in, earning a look of surprise from Clarke, who was so used to her parents knocking. When she saw that it wasn't, her eyes widened as she shot off her bed. 

"What the hell are you two doing here?!" She exclaimed, pulling them into a hug. "I thought I wasn't going to see you until later." 

Raven laughed, pulling Murphy -- who was trying to escape the hug -- tighter into the group hug. "A little birdy stopped by my work and said that you wanted us to be here for Christmas. So, after talking this one into coming along, we're here. Merry Christmas, Clarke." 

Clarke furrowed her brow as she stepped out of the hug, "My mom stopped by your work?" 

Raven nodded. "Yeah. I was just as surprised as you are. But hey... it got us here, didn't it?" 

"Yeah..." Clarke mused, "It did." 

The two of them helped her finish getting ready, and when she was done they made their way downstairs to sit with the rest of the family. At the bottom of the stairs, they were stopped by Abby. Clarke didn't say anything to her, only pulled her in for a hug. She wasn't sure how things were going to get fixed between them, but she had a feeling that this was a step in the right direction. Clarke actually felt like Abby cared. 

"Thank you, mom." She whispered, pulling back from the hug. 

"It wasn't a problem, Clarke. I know they make you happy." Abby smiled, taking Clarke's hand. "Christmas is about family," She began, talking a little louder as they walked towards the living room. "And while Jake and I hae been incredibly busy with each of our jobs, you found a family elsewhere. So what better way to celebrate that than inviting them here?" She turned towards Jake and Sharon, gesturing to Raven and Murphy, "Sharon, this is Raven and John, Clarke's friends." 

"I go by Murphy, though." Murphy commented, though he was certain that the only people that really heard him were Raven and Clarke. 

"They've kept an eye on Clarke in our absence," Jake continued for Abby, turning towards his mother. "It's only fair we invited them. And if you don't like it, well... You may have to find another place to celebrate Christmas." 

Sharon was visibly irritated by the sudden change of plans, but she didn't say a thing. 

And for once, Clarke was truly happy in her house. 

\--------------------

Nobody was expecting the snow storm that arrived the evening of Christmas Day. Raven, Clarke and Murphy had piled into Murphy’s truck, heading out into the storm just as it began. Clarke had little experience driving in the snow, and Murphy seemed to know exactly what he was doing, but that didn’t stop the wave of nervousness that came the first time she felt the tires slide across the icy concrete. She clutched the door so tight her knuckles were turning white; she had never been more grateful that the Woods’ lived so close to her house even if it was a short drive.

Octavia and Lincoln were already there, shown by the white vehicle parked off to the side. Looking out the window, Clarke could see Anya with Aneubis in the yard; the dog prancing around and jumping at the snowflakes. For once, Clarke saw Anya smiling.

Until Raven stepped out of the truck and Anya’s features hardened.

"Oh, would'ja look at that, she _does_ spend time outside!" Raven exclaimed, though she didn't look as happy as she sounded through the glare she gave to the sky. The snow was coming down faster now; Clarke could barely make out the road at the end of the driveway. She was just glad that Anya could still see her so she could interpret. 

"Funny." Anya rolled her eyes, "I had to let him out before the storm got worse. Mostly because he's an asshole and will want to go for a walk once it gets dark." 

Raven smirked, already walking up to the door. "You have fun in the snow. I'm going inside where it's warm." 

Clarke was about to follow Raven and Murphy when Anya stopped her. 

"Clarke? Could I talk to you for a moment?" 

The blonde mentally cursed, but nodded, stepping across the yard to where Anya stood. 

"Is... everything okay with Lexa? I know you've been getting close lately and she's been acting a little... off, since I came home." Anya asked, her eyes looking down until she finished the sentence. It was as if she wasn't entirely comfortable with talking to Clarke. 

She wasn't sure if she should tell Anya the truth. The thoughts that swarmed through Clarke's head weren't the best; she thought that something had gone wrong with Costia. But maybe Costia was being more controlling. Maybe Costia was getting worse. Maybe Lexa felt stuck --

"She's okay, as far as I know." Clarke settled, her hands moving along. "But... I'll keep an eye out for you, okay?" 

Anya nodded, seeming content with that answer. Clarke sighed, nodding again. She felt bad for lying, but she didn't want to betray Lexa's words if Lexa hadn't told Anya already. 

"Okay. Well... Come on. It's getting colder and Aneubis is about to be buried." Anya suggested, motioning for the door. 

Inside the Woods' house, the group was already in the living room with cups of cocoa all in their hands. Clarke could hear soft Christmas music playing in the background, which she knew was for those that could hear. The presents from Secret Santa had been left on the table; Clarke assumed that it was so nobody would see who gave who what. Nyko, Aden and Lexa all sat on the couch, with Indra in the chair. Octavia and Lincoln sat in front of the coffee table, huddled together and sharing a blanket. Raven and Murphy stood off to the side, still slightly isolated but still engaging in a conversation with Indra and the others. Anya walked past them and took a spot on the couch; Clarke assumed it was where she was sitting previously. Clarke took a spot on the floor next to Octavia. 

_'Great, now that everyone's here, we can begin.'_ Nyko signed; Indra interpreted before she stood to retrieve the presents. 

She handed them out one by one until everyone had a present. Lincoln was first to open his; it was a small box wrapped in what seemed to be Santa wrapping paper. He pulled out a pair of athletic socks and a water bottle, and when asked who got it for him ( "I've actually been needing a new water bottle" ), the person who sheepishly raised his hand surprised everyone. 

"Hey, I pay attention. I'm not stupid." Murphy shrugged, moving to take a seat. 

Octavia was up next; her present consisting of a photo frame decorated nice and neat in colors of green and gold. Inside the frame was a photo of her and Lincoln kissing at the end of the homecoming game, giant grins on both of their faces after Lincoln scored the winning touchdown. It didn't take long for Octavia to figure out that Lexa was her Secret Santa, because Lexa was the one who took that photo in the first place. 

Next was Aden, who opened his present with such joy that it seemed like he was a little boy again. His grin grew twice in size as he pulled out a handful of paintbrushes and paints. "I've been needing some more of these," He exclaimed. 

"Hey, you're welcome. Figured you could use 'em to paint the world in a million different colors." Raven shrugged. Aden offered her a high five in place of a hug because he couldn't reach her. Raven took it with a smile. 

Lexa was next in the line. Her package was small; probably the smallest out of all of them. It was obvious she was excited to open it; that she wanted to shake it just for effect, but she held off as she carefully removed the wrapping paper. Upon opening it, she immediately knew who had gotten her the gift. It was something that she and Clarke had talked about before; her gift was a set of film for one of her older cameras. She wasn't even sure if they made film for it anymore. 

She looked at Clarke, hoping for an explanation. 

"I.. may have cheated a little bit," Clarke explained, a blush coming to her cheeks. "It cost the twenty five dollar limit, sure, but... I had to pay extra for it to be shipped so quickly." She admitted. "I hope that's okay." 

Lexa smiled softly, _'I think that's okay. I... Thank you, so much, Clarke.'_

Clarke smiled in response. 

They continued on with gifts; Clarke recieved a nice scarf from Lincoln, who's only excuse was that he "didn't know what to get for girls" and admitted that his own mother had actually helped him with Octavia's gifts each of the years they were together. Anya received a studded collar for Aneubis from Octavia, and Raven got a small emergency tool set from Anya. 

Murphy's gift from Aden was the one that had the rest of them in hysterics. 

His was the biggest gift out of all the ones exchanged, but that was because the gift was actually a painting. Murphy gaped at the image in front of him; it was the first time any of them had seen the man speechless. When he showed it to the rest of them, nobody could hold back their laughter. 

It was a painting of Murphy, in a throne surrounded by gold, with a crown atop his head as if he were king. 

"For your ego," Aden explained through his giggles. 

Murphy shook his head and just signed "thank you" to Aden; the first sign he ever did. 

\--------------

The storm outside had only gotten worse as the night went on. Indra had asked all the guests to stay the night, just to be safe. None of them really minded; they were getting tired and Clarke had a feeling that Murphy didn't want to drive in the weather anyways. That alone said something about how bad the storm had gotten. 

They ended up splitting off in groups when it came time to settle in for the night. Lincoln and Octavia set up in the living room on an air-mattress; something they frequently did when they stayed the night at the Woods' house. Aden wanted to show Murphy some of his music collection, leaving Raven to go off with Anya ( against Anya's protest ). Clarke ended up following Lexa to her room because Lexa wanted to show her something. 

Lexa's room was a lot different than Clarke's. There were photos lining each of the walls; all Lexa's, Clarke presumed. There were fairy lights strewn about the room, creating a soft glow in contrast to what would have been the light on her ceiling. She sat on Lexa's bed as the brunette headed right for her desk, pulling something out. 

_'I know we did Secret Santa, but... I wanted to give you something else.'_ Lexa explained, signing with one hand. The other held a small box that she handed to Clarke. 

_'Lexa...'_ Clarke sighed, but still smiled as she accepted the box. _'You didn't have to get me anything.'_

_'I know,'_ Lexa sat down next to Clarke, _'But I wanted to.'_

The blonde opened the box slowly, gasping softly at the contents. She pulled out a small chain with the letter "C" at the end; gems of the colors green and blue lining it. 

_'You told me, a few weeks ago, that your favorite color that week was green. That's when I ordered this.'_ Lexa explained. 

_'Lexa this must've cost a fortune,'_ Clarke signed, looking back at the necklace. She hesitated a moment, then looked up at Lexa. _'Put it on me?'_

Lexa nodded and Clarke turned, moving her hair to allow Lexa to put the necklace on her. It sat just below her collarbones, perfectly in the middle of her chest. Lexa patted Clarke's shoulder to get the blonde's attention again. 

_'I... wanted to tell you something, too.'_ She paused, taking a breath. _'I like you, Clarke. You... You're different, you know? And I really, really like you, but...'_

_'You feel like you can't break things off with Costia.'_

Lexa nodded, looking down. Clarke waved her hand in front of her, smiling softly. 

_'It's okay, you know.'_ Clarke signed, _'I... I get it.'_

_'I just don't want to make her mad, and I feel like breaking things off with her might do just that.'_

_'Really, it's okay.'_ The air around them grew thick, and Clarke felt it necessary to change the subject. She glanced around the room, finding something to settle on, _'Why fairy lights?'_ She asked, pointing to the lights. 

Lexa smiled, _'It's... nicer. Gives the feeling of comfort, but still having enough light for me to see, you know? It's... nice.'_ She looked at the lights, then back at Clarke. _'And... the extra ones make for great L-O-W-L-I-G-H-T photography.'_

Clarke hummed, catching the idea Lexa was throwing out. _'Want me to model?'_ She teased. Lexa grinned, nodding. 

And that's how they spent the night of Christmas. Clarke wrapped up in fairy lights and Lexa taking her photo, the two of them laughing and having fun. Thoughts of Costia were nowhere to be found; only the two of them spending time together. 

And that night, Clarke fell asleep with Lexa's arms around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Years chapter is next! Hope you guys are enjoying reading this chapter as much as I enjoy writing it. As always, let me know what you think!


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke hosts a New Years party. The whole gang is there. Lexa and Clarke grow even closer, but it backfires. 
> 
> TW: Talk of abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's pretty light at the beginning but at the end it gets intense. No graphic descriptions, but... let's just say you guys have been warned.

Waking up next to Lexa felt different than before. Before, she would wake up with her head on Lexa's chest, the brunette's arms wrapped around her snugly, but not too tight. Almost as if Clarke was some security blanket. But waking up with Lexa's arms around her; with the girl's front pressed against her back and Lexa's breath on her neck, it felt... intimate. Like two puzzle pieces finally fitting together smoothly. Clarke knew that she shouldn't feel like that. That she _couldn't_ feel like that. Not when Lexa was still with Costia. Even _if_ Lexa told her last night that she liked Clarke in _that_ way. It wasn't right. 

Groggily, she reached out to grab her phone from the charger, checking the time. It was still early, but despite that she still had a few missed calls and texts from her mother. It didn't come as a surprise to her; when her mother showed that she _did_ care she tended to be overzealous and worrisome. 

She knew she needed to get up. To get dressed and make her way downstairs where she'd wait for the others to wake up to start their day. Both Raven and Murphy were working that day; Clarke didn't want to make them late by taking her home first. 

She knew she needed to get up. But Lexa stirred, letting out a soft exhale as she pulled Clarke closer just a little bit, nuzzling her nose in the blonde's shoulder before falling back asleep; Clarke knew she was done for. 

A few more minutes in a temporary serenity didn't hurt anyone. 

\----------------

_**Sunday, Dec. 31st** _

Raven watched as Clarke and Murphy brought in the small amount of groceries they purchased; Jasper and Murphy following not too far behind. Clarke's parents told her that she could have a small party at New Years, just like she did when they lived in Seattle, so Clarke took advantage of it. She used the small budget she had for it on food, not worrying too much about decorations, but _did_ upgrade her speakers to a set with higher bass for the sake of her friends. 

"Are you just gonna sit there and watch or are you gonna set it up?" Clarke asked, setting down a few bags. She wanted to make Raven do the carrying of groceries, but she noticed that Raven had forgone her brace for the sake of an outfit and she knew she couldn't make her friend do that. 

"Yeah, yeah. Chill your tits, blondie. I'm just ordering the pizza." Raven replied from her spot sitting on the counter. 

"Make sure you get a lot. Jasper gets the munchies hardcore after his second joint." Monty suggested, putting a few bags of alcohol on the counter. 

"Is that why our cupboards were completely empty a few weeks ago? The fuck, dude?" Murphy huffed, glaring at Jasper. 

"Hey, don't blame me, blame the munchies." 

"I'm gonna blame you with my fist if you don't shut up." 

At first, Clarke wasn't sure about inviting Jasper and Monty. She didn't know them that well, and there was that little voice in the back of her mind that was telling her no just because she came to learn that wherever Monty and Jasper were, weed followed. And that was the _last_ conversation she wanted to have with her parents. Nevertheless, she invited them, if anything it was because Monty convinced her that they'd be able to get them alcohol for the party. 

The rest of the invites were set to show up within the next half hour. She had invited the Woods' -- all three of them -- and by extension, she invited Lincoln, Octavia, and Bellamy as well. She also felt obligated to invite Costia, as long as the girl was willing to act civil in Clarke's home. 

She felt pretty content with the group set to come. 

Lincoln, Octaiva and Bellamy were next to show up. They brought their own bags full of snacks and Clarke let them inside immediately, the music already playing. It didn't take long for Raven to start up the sound system after she ordered the pizza, just like it didn't take long for Murphy, Jasper and Monty to disappear into her backyard. It didn't take long for Lincoln and Octaiva to make their way into the living area with Raven, leaving Bellamy and Clarke in the kitchen. 

_'Octavia tells me your signing has gotten better.'_ Bellamy commented after getting Clarke's attention. The blonde set the bottle down and nodded. 

_'I've been practicing a lot. Aden and Lexa have been helping me, too.'_

Bellamy grinned at her hands, then up at her face. _'I can see that. Seems like you're taking this very seriously.'_ He commented, _'It's a nice change compared to some people I've met. No offense, but hearing people can be some of the most ignorant and stupid people I've met.'_

Clarke was taken aback by his bluntness, but she had to admit that he had a point. And said point was proven by Jasper, Monty, and Murphy heading back inside, Jasper walking right into the sliding glass door. She sighed, shaking her head. 

_'I can't help but agree with you on that one.'_

Bellamy smirked, offering Clarke a drink. 

\--------------------

Aden, Lexa and Anya showed up almost an hour later. At first, Clarke thought something had happened to cause their delay, but one scoff from Anya told her that it was something incredibly minuscule. 

"She was trying to get Costia to come," Anya explained, reaching down to unhook Aneubis' leash. He stayed right by her side, even after she put the leash in her bag. Clarke watched as he looked around, seeming to examine the new people in the house. "Clearly, that didn't happen." 

Clarke looked to Lexa, _'She said she had other plans. I just thought that she'd want to spend tonight with me.'_

She didn't have to look hard to see the almost betrayed look in Lexa's eyes; like she knew Costia was lying to her. 

"Well, come on. We can have fun without her here. It's her loss." Clarke smiled, trying to change the mood a bit as she led her friends into her house. 

With everyone there, that's when the party really started to kick off. The music was turned up so loud Clarke was convinced that none of them would be able to hear the next day, and she was certain that her neighbors ( the few that she actually had ) would probably file a noise complaint if they were home. There was dancing, there was drinking, and from what the blonde could tell, everyone was having fun. Clarke was dancing with Raven and Octavia, the former putting aside her "hatred" for the other under the mask of alcohol. She glanced over her shoulder, seeing Bellamy talking with Lexa and she got an idea. 

She made her way over to the pair, alcohol giving her that small burst of confidence she needed as she signed drunkenly -- _'Wanna dance with me?'_ to Lexa. And Lexa agreed, allowing herself to be dragged out by Clarke. 

They moved fluidly, Clarke's hand on Lexa's shoulder and Lexa's hand falling on Clarke's waist. They moved closer, just moving together to the beat of the song playing loudly. It was almost as if they got lost together; just enjoying the music and being together. Clarke didn't even think about the others in the room; all she could think about was Lexa. 

That changed with the changing of the song, however. 

It was like Lexa realized what was happening, and she pulled away from Clarke. She thanked the blonde for the dance and made her way back over to Bellamy to finish the conversation she was having with him. It made Clarke feel like Lexa didn't want to be around her; but she had a feeling that was just the alcohol making her paranoid.

Sighing, Clarke tried to find her other friends. There was a few absent from the house, she realized, and made her way outside. Lincoln, Anya, Murphy and Raven were seated in the hot tub, seeming having light conversation with Lincoln interpreting the words that the others couldn't catch. Clarke was trying to figure out how Raven managed to strip down to her underwear during the brief time between Clarke dancing with her and Clarke going to dance with Lexa. 

Letting them be, she looked to the other side of her backyard, where Monty, Jasper and -- to her surprise, Aden -- had congregated. 

"Another smoke break, really?" She teased, walking up to them. She crossed her arms over her chest; she hadn't realized how cold it really was out there. 

"Can you really blame us, Clarke? It's like, the ultimate party night." Jasper grinned, passing the joint over to Monty. 

She looked to Aden with raised eyebrows, questioning whether or not he was getting high with them. 

"Peer pressure?" Aden offered, shrugging his shoulders lightly. He didn't seem high; not from what she could tell. He seemed completely sober, actually. 

"He hasn't even taken a hit." Monty chuckled, taking his own hit. "Don't believe a word he says; he's sober. Haven't even seen him take a drink."

Clarke hummed and, when it was offered, took her own hit. It was the first time she had done such a thing, but with her mind still whirring about Lexa leaving her after their dance, and everything that had happened the past few weeks ( more like months ), she felt like she needed to just relax. She coughed hard, shaking her head as smoke escaped her lungs. Jasper laughed as he took the joint from her, offering it to Aden who shook his head, opting instead to move Clarke away from the duo. 

"What was that, Clarke? I didn't think you were like that." Aden furrowed his brow, moving them to a more secluded location outside. "I've never seen you try to get high before." 

Clarke gave him a soft smile, shrugging her shoulders. "I just wanted to try something new." 

Aden sighed, nudging her back inside. "Come on, lets get you some water." 

She felt bad, in that moment. It was obvious that Aden still really cared about her, and she wanted to badly to reciprocate his feelings. It could make everything a lot less complicated; maybe if she reciprocated his feelings Lexa wouldn't have started to like her in the way that she did. But that still left Lexa's abusive relationship, and maybe if she and Aden were dating Lexa wouldn't have trusted her to that point. Everything was getting fuzzy and over-complicated for Clarke. When Aden offered her a glass of water, she downed it easily despite only wanting to down another shot. 

Nevertheless, the party continued on. And by eleven thirty everyone was inside, getting ready to count down to the new year. By eleven fifty, Clarke could tell that she was completely drunk. Not to the point where she couldn't remember anything, but enough to allow her some pretty questionable decisions.

Eleven fifty-nine things started to feel like they were moving in slow motion. 

_Ten._

She saw out of the corner of her eye, Lincoln pulling Octavia closer to him.

_Nine._

Jasper was making use of his bad decisions as he shook up a beer can. She hoped that he'd take it outside before he opened it. 

_Eight._

She felt Lexa closer to her, and wondered what that was about. 

_Seven._

Looking over, she saw Raven moving closer to Anya, trying to kiss her. Anya just shoved Raven aside. Clarke felt herself laugh. 

_Six, Five, Four._

Jasper took his beer can outside. She could hear him laughing as he opened it, letting it's contents spray out into her backyard. 

_Three, Two..._

Lexa looked at her, asking a silent question. Clarke mouthed the words "yes".

_One._

Lexa kissed her. 

It was a gentle kiss. One to be expected to share between lovers; one Clarke would've thought Lexa would have shared with Costia once upon a time. And despite the fact that they were both under the influence, Clarke felt content, just kissing Lexa. It was the kiss they had missed under the mistletoe; the kiss that Clarke had been unconsciously thinking about. And it was everything she had thought about, with an added hint of what tasted like Fireball whiskey. It seemed like Lexa liked her spices. 

When they pulled back, it seemed like nobody had noticed what had happened between the two of them. But as she scanned across the room, Clarke couldn't help but notice something: Aden had left. 

\-----------------

Clarke had tried calling Aden the next day to see if he got home okay, but she didn't get a response. She ended up texting Lexa, asking her if he was home. Lexa told her yes, but after talking with Clarke a little bit more she decided that it was only right that one of them try and talk to him in person. Lexa felt like it was her responsibility as his sister. 

She sent him a text before she opened his door, letting herself into his room. He sat at his desk with a paintbrush in hand, painting away at something with intensity. Headphones were in his ears; Lexa only assumed that they were turned up all the way with something angry. He hadn't been himself since New Years; and Lexa didn't have to think twice to know why. She walked up to him, tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around, all but glaring at her when he saw her. 

_'What do you want?'_ He asked. 

_'We need to talk. I know you're upset.'_

_'I think that was a given, Lexa.'_

_'Talk to me, Aden. What's going on?'_

_'You know exactly what's going on, Lexa!'_ He stood, his signing getting faster with emotion. _'You kissed Clarke!'_

Lexa sighed; she knew that that was what this was about. She knew she was in the wrong for kissing Clarke; especially when she was dating Costia. She had cheated on her girlfriend just for the sake of a single kiss. And she hated that there was a huge part of her that didn't regret it one bit. 

_'You kissed her,'_ Aden continued, _'When you knew how I felt about her. You kissed her after I specifically told you how I felt about her. I trusted you, Lexa.'_

Lexa sighed, _'Aden --'_

_'I want her to be happy, you know? I want that for her. But I wasn't expecting you to jump right in so soon after I got rejected.'_

He signed with a face that mimicked disgust; filled with betrayal. He looked down at the floor, then back up at Lexa before he continued. _'Do you know how much that hurts, Lex? I feel like I wasn't enough for her.'_

Lexa felt like she was punched in the gut. She hadn't meant for Aden to feel like that; not at all. And the more she thought about it the more she realized how selfish she was being with Clarke. She had gotten so lost in her own feelings towards the blonde that she had completely forgotten about Aden and his own feelings. She hadn't thought when she kissed Clarke the previous night; only thought about how much she wanted to do it. She didn't think of the consequences; didn't think about anything but Clarke. And now she was paying the price. 

_'Aden... It...'_ She swallowed, _'It was a mistake, okay? We were drunk, it wasn't... It wasn't anything.'_

Aden was silent for a moment. It felt like forever that they stood there, just looking at each other. Then his face broke out in a sad smile as he shook his head, _'Don't lie to me, Lex. I.. I know it wasn't a mistake. Sure, you guys were drunk, but... Like I said, I just... want her to be happy.'_

_'That doesn't mean that I had any right to swoop in so soon.'_

Aden shrugged, sitting back down and picking up his paintbrush. _'No, that doesn't. Am I upset? Yeah, I am. But... I'll get over it. I just want her to be happy, and... I know that you make her happy. Just like she makes you happier than Costia ever has.'_

Lexa's heart sunk at the mention of Costia. She walked over, taking a seat on Aden's bed. _'I.. don't know what to do about Costia.'_

Aden chewed his lip as he spun his chair towards her again, leaning back in it. _'I... don't think you should tell her, Lex. You.. don't want things to get worse.'_

Lexa furrowed her brow, _'What are you talking about?'_

_'Lexa, I'm going deaf, not blind. You may be able to hide it around mom and dad, but... I know what she's doing to you, Lex.'_

Panic settled in Lexa's gut as she brought her knees up to her chest, _'I can't break up with her. I can't.'_

_'I'm not asking you to.'_ Aden explained, moving to take a seat next to Lexa on his bed. _'I just... think it would be best for you. She doesn't treat you right at all.'_

Lexa's phone went off in her pocket. She checked it, her eyes widening. _'I gotta go.'_

Aden sighed as Lexa scurried off, hoping like hell that his sister knew what she was doing. 

\---------------------

_**Friday, Jan. 5th** _

Classes had started back up at Arkadia that previous Wednesday. Clarke hadn't been too focused; there wasn't a whole lot for them to really focus on in the first week back anyways. She only had a few projects to work on that weren't due for a few weeks, a few assignments that she had finished with ease; nothing too bothersome. That's how she found herself on Raven's couch again, delving in the provided Netflix with a box of takeout sitting in her lap. Raven sat next to her, in a very similar position, the two of them providing light commentary on whatever documentary Raven had put on for them to watch. Really, it was a rather bland night. 

Then Clarke's phone went off. 

_**Lexa:** can you meet me at the park at birch and fifth?_

Furrowing her brow, the blonde replied. 

_**Clarke:** Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?_

The three dots appeared and disappeared a few times before Lexa's response came through. 

_**Lexa:** No. please hurry._

Clarke didn't hesitate from that point on. She quickly threw on her shoes and coat, telling Raven that she'd be back later. Raven didn't question it, only offered a quick "be safe" as Clarke hurried out the door. 

It didn't take long to find the park that Lexa was talking about. It wasn't too far from Polis; the middle ground between Polis and the gym. The blonde pulled up into the nearest parking location and got out of her car, all but running towards the playground. Lexa was seated on one of the swings, looking down. 

Clarke walked up to her, waving in front of her to get her attention. Lexa jumped, but visibly relaxed when she saw it was Clarke. The blonde sat in the swing next to her, just looking at Lexa. 

_'What happened?'_ She asked after some time had passed. 

Lexa was silent for a while. The cold wind was nipping at Clarke's ears; she had forgotten a hat in her hasty attempt to get to the park quickly. Her hands were tucked into the sleeves of her jacket to try and keep them warm. Eventually, Lexa's hands rose to sign.

_'She hit me.'_

Clarke saw red. 

This was what she was afraid of. She was afraid that if Lexa hadn't left Costia that things would have gotten out of hand and that Clarke wouldn't be there to stop Costia from doing anything. And that's exactly what happened. It had gone too far. Way too far. 

_'You have to leave her, Lexa.'_ Clarke tried, already knowing her answer. 

_'I can't.'_

_'But you can, Lexa.'_ Clarke pressed. 

_'I'm scared, Clarke. I never thought she'd hit me before. I... I never expected it I --'_ Lexa sighed, _'I'm scared.'_

Clarke was silent a moment. _'What even happened?'_

Lexa chewed on her lip before she continued. _'We were arguing... She had seen a photo I put on instagram from Christmas. The one I posted of you -- She saw the necklace. I guess she had found it in my drawer and thought I was going to give it to her, but when she saw that you were wearing it... She got mad. She started getting really mad, accusing me of sleeping with you and saying that...'_ Lexa paused, looking down. _'Saying that you were just a whore who was trying to break us up. I defended you, saying that you weren't, and some other stuff... Things led to another and I told her that I kissed you at New Years. And that's when she...'_

Clarke shook her head, urging Lexa to stop. She didn't want Lexa to say it again when explaining it was obviously causing her so much pain. _'You don't have to say it again, it's okay. Look... why don't you come with me to Raven's. You can take a bath, get some decent rest, and... we can figure out the rest tomorrow.'_

Lexa nodded and allowed herself to be guided to Clarke's car. The blonde drove them back to Raven's, allowing the car to be silent the entire drive. She was stuck in her head; couldn't get out. All she was thinking about was that if she had just pushed Lexa away, if she hadn't let Lexa kiss her, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. She felt guilty; immensely so. Like she hadn't done enough to stop this from happening. She could only imagine how Lexa was feeling in that moment. 

When they got to Raven's, Raven helped them out by running Lexa a bath. And Clarke ordered them more takeout, just to try and get Lexa to calm down. But while Raven was waiting for the takeout and Lexa was in the bathroom, Clarke broke down in Raven's room. She knew Lexa didn't deserve this. Lexa didn't deserve any of this. And all she wanted to do was help. 

She only started to feel better later that night when she was the one holding Lexa, knowing that the brunette was safe in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I was a little hesitant to make it go in this direction and there was a few rewrites of parts; this is the end result. Nevertheless I hope you all have a great rest of 2017! As always, let me know what you think.


	11. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up right where the last chapter left off. A majority of the Costia plot. 
> 
> TW: Descriptions of abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Wow_ you guys hate Costia. I loved the responses I got last chapter. So many people wanting her gone and done with. I was originally going to wait until January to post this one but I got a burst of inspiration to write this. We've got a few time jumps, nothing too major, just spanning over January. Also, please don't take that trigger warning lightly. There's descriptions, but nothing _too_ major; I still changed the overall fic warnings just to be safe. 
> 
> Hope you like this chapter.

Clarke woke up the next morning to the incessant buzzing of Lexa's phone, causing a disturbance to the otherwise peaceful morning. Lexa was still sleeping next to her; the phone going unnoticed as she slept. Clarke didn't want to wake her up. She looked so different compared to the girl she found last night; the fear and worry gone from her face and replaced by features softened by the few hours of sleep. Clarke pushed a strand of hair from her face, smiling down at her. She got lost, just looking at Lexa's face. It made her want to draw again. 

The phone buzzed again. Clarke sighed, knowing the moment wasn't going to last. 

Carefully, she nudged Lexa's shoulder, trying to ease her out of sleep without startling her. Lexa slowly came to, blinking up at Clarke who only pointed to her phone. The brunette nodded, reaching to grab it off the coffee table it sat upon. 

_'Everything okay?'_ Clarke asked after a moment. 

Lexa sighed, _'Costia wants to know where I am.'_

_'Did you tell her?'_ The blonde asked, sitting up. 

Lexa shook her head, setting her phone back down. _'No. I don't really... I don't want to deal with that right now.'_

Clarke nodded, pushing her hair out of her face. She wasn't sure where to take the conversation. She had questions, of course she had them, but now wasn't the time to ask them. It wasn't her place, especially so soon after last night. _'How'd you sleep?'_ She settled on. 

Lexa shrugged, sitting up as well. _'Okay... I guess. I didn't really fall asleep until after you did.'_

Clarke furrowed her brow, _'I swear you fell asleep first.'_

_'No... Nightmares. Every time I closed my eyes...'_

Clarke nodded, getting the point. She was about to sign again when her own phone went off from her coat. She held up a finger and stood to retrieve it, letting out a sigh when she saw a text from Aden. Flashbacks from New Years came through, and she felt a pang of guilt. In that moment, though, she was just glad that he didn't hate her. 

**_Aden:_ ** _Is Lexa with you?_   
**_Aden:_ ** _Costia just came by looking for her_

Clarke chewed her lip, bringing her phone over to the couch and sitting down back next to Lexa. Instead of texting him back, she opted to call him. She wanted to talk to him face to face; a conversation that Lexa could participate with instead of being rude. 

_"Hey; is she there?"_ He asked, his face appearing on the slightly pixelated screen. 

Clarke nodded, moving the camera so Lexa was in the frame too. She ended up propping it up on the coffee table, leaning forward to see Aden. "What'd Costia want?" 

_"She seemed pretty pissed, first of all. I guess you haven't been answering her texts."_ He responded, nodding towards Lexa with the last part. 

_'We just woke up.'_

Aden nodded; Clarke could see the words he left unsaid. "Is she still there?" The blonde asked. 

_"No, she left. Good thing, too. If mom was home and saw the way she was acting you might not have a girlfriend, Lex."_ He said it as a joke; a play of words, but Lexa wasn't even sure if she had a girlfriend anymore. 

But Clarke, however, her eyes widened as she made a realization. "Wait, where are your parents, Aden?" 

_"They had a meeting this morning. In like... a half hour or something. Not sure. Why?"_

"I gotta go. Talk to you later." The blonde hung up the phone abruptly, pulling Lexa up by the hand. "You can come with me or you can stay here, but I gotta get to the gym asap."

_'Is everything okay?'_ Lexa asked. 

"If I get there in time, it will be. Come on." 

\---------------------

Clarke was glad that she had driven around Annapolis enough times since she moved to know the ins and outs of the roads. She was able to get to the gym in record time while breaking minimal laws, and made it to the entrance just as Indra and Nyko were going to open the doors. She could see her father behind her, with Thelonious in tow, and she just _knew_ that she made it just in time. 

"Clarke! What a surprise to run into you here. What're you doing?" Jake asked, giving his daughter a warm smile. 

Clarke returned the smile; "I was just out with Lexa. But I need to talk to Indra really quick." 

Indra looked at Clarke questioningly, but Clarke was quick to start signing.

_'They're going to make you an offer,'_ She started, _'They're going to try and buy the gym from you. Going to offer a lot of money for it; tell you that they'll give you whatever you may need if you go through with it. Please say no. They want to tear this block apart to make a stupid arcade. Please don't give them that benefit. Say no, no matter what.'_

Her face was blank, stoic as she said random conversation bits to make it seem like she was just signing along for Lexa and Nyko's sake. But the nod she received from Indra after she finished let her know that Indra knew exactly what she was talking about. 

"If everything is done here, we have a meeting to attend to. It was nice seeing you again, Clarke. Keep in touch." Thelonious offered, holding the door open for the rest of them. 

Clarke nodded with a smile, letting out a sigh once they were out of view. She turned to Lexa, whose confused expression just made Clarke let out a laugh.

_'What the hell was that?'_

\-------------------

**_Sunday, Jan. 7th_ **

Lexa hadn't responded to Costia's texts at all that weekend. She had been staying with Clarke, to which she was grateful about because Clarke didn't ask questions. Clarke just silently understood what was going on without Lexa having to tell her. 

They were in Clarke's living room. A movie was playing in the background, but it was forgotten as Murphy and Raven went on about something that had happened at school on Friday while they skipped class. Lexa had stopped paying attention, getting lost in her thoughts as she subconsciously leaned into Clarke's side. Her phone vibrated again; she ignored it again. Instead of looking at it -- she knew it was Costia -- she just shut off her phone. She was tired of dealing with Costia's anger after the weekend. 

Clarke stood suddenly; Lexa looked up at her. 

_'It's the pizza guy. Wanna help?'_ The blonde asked; Lexa nodded. They paid for the pizza and took it into the kitchen, starting to put it all on separate plates. Lexa knew that Raven and Murphy would happily eat it out of the box, but she had a feeling that Clarke's mother wouldn't approve of that if they got stains on the couches. 

_'Are you okay?'_ Clarke asked, getting Lexa's attention. 

Lexa looked at her; every part of the brunette told her to lie. To say that she was perfectly fine; that everything was okay and peachy. But after a moment, she shook her head. _'I keep thinking about Costia, and what happened, and..'_

_'I really think you should leave her.'_

_'I can't. What if she gets pissed at me and.. you know, again? What if she tells me I can't leave? What if I do leave, and she does something that I can't prevent? It's... easier to just deal with it than deal with the consequences.'_ Lexa explained, leaning against the counter. 

_'Lexa that's no way of living. Being in constant fear... That's the worst thing to feel. Please just.. give yourself that one benefit where you can be okay. Please?'_ Clarke tried again. 

Before Lexa could answer, Aden walked through the threshold. _'Am I interrupting something?'_ He asked. Lexa smiled at him, but shook her head. 

_'No. I was just telling Clarke that I'm not feeling too great and I'm going to head to bed. Have a good night, Aden.'_ Lexa explained, patting her brother on the shoulder before she headed upstairs. Nobody asked questions about it, but Clarke watched her leave with melancholy eyes. 

"She's not okay, is she?" Aden asked, taking over Lexa's place by grabbing a few plates from the cupboards. 

"No," Clarke started when Aden turned back around, "She's not. It's.. been an eventful weekend." 

Aden nodded, grabbing a few bottles of drinks from the fridge. "Costia again?" 

Clarke furrowed her brow, "What?" 

"Is Costia getting to her again?" 

"She's..."

"I know that some of the stuff Costia says isn't the best -- I just wish Lexa could see that she deserves so much better than her." 

"Aden --" Clarke sighed, opting to sign rather than speak. She loved Raven and Murphy but she didn't want the world to know Lexa's business. _'Costia hit Lexa.'_

"...What?" 

Clarke nodded, confirming what she said. "The other night, the night before Costia couldn't find her. That's _why_ Costia couldn't find her. She left, and came to me. She's been with me ever since." 

"We have to tell my mom." Aden insisted. 

"That's what I want to do. But I'm not sure if Lexa would be okay with it." Clarke crossed her arms, shaking her head. 

"Clarke, this is serious. If Costia did that, we have to go to my mother about it. No ifs, ands, or buts. If anyone can do something about this, it's my mom." 

Clarke nodded, taking a breath. Aden was right; something had to be done about this. "Tomorrow? After school. We can pick Lexa up from Polis and talk to your mom after. That way I at least know that Lexa got home safe." 

Aden nodded in agreement, but fell silent. Clarke knew what this was about. 

"Aden... I'm... sorry about New Years. I know it wasn't fair to you... When I kissed Lexa." 

Aden shook his head, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Clarke. Did it hurt? Yeah. But like I told you at homecoming, maybe we don't make good lovers. But we do make great friends. And... I see the way you look at Lexa. It doesn't hurt that much anymore. I just want you both to be happy. And I want Lexa to get away from Costia." 

Clarke nodded, walking over to give him a hug. "How did I get such an understanding best friend?" 

Aden let out a laugh, "Sometimes, things just work out in our favor." 

\--------------

_**Monday, Jan. 8th** _

Aden and Clarke sat on the benches outside of Polis, waiting for Lexa to walk out. Polis got out around the same time that Arkadia did, but Kane let the two of them out early after some small persuasion that they'd have their senior portfolios in way earlier than absolutely needed. It was a stretch, but it worked, and now they were waiting in the cold for Lexa. 

Clarke just hoped that Lexa was able to get through the day without Costia finding her. 

The blonde let out a breath of air she didn't realize she was holding when Lexa came out of the building. She seemed happy; light, until Clarke met her eyes. Her eyes screamed sadness; a cry for help that she knew she could get across with Clarke. And as blue eyes trailed down Lexa's body, she saw why. Lexa approached the two of them, with Costia by her side, although it seemed more like Costia was trying to pull Lexa elsewhere. 

_'Hey; we figured you could use a ride home.'_ Clarke offered, smiling as politely as she could with Costia right there. She didn't want to make a scene at Lexa's school. 

_'Oh, that won't be necessary. She's coming home with me.'_ Costia interjected; her eyes glaring daggers into Clarke to the point where a chill ran down Clarke's spine. Aden noticed the interaction and stepped up beside the blonde. 

_'Actually, Costia, it is necessary. Mom wanted Lex and I home right after school to talk with us about something.'_ He was lying through his hands and Clarke knew it; Lexa knew it too. But the point was that Costia didn't know that. 

_'She can catch Lexa up when she gets home. Right babe? We've got a lot of catching up to do. You missed all my texts from this weekend; I was missing you.'_

Clarke wanted to be sick. 

_'Actually, Cos...'_ Lexa tried, but before she could get another word out Costia's demeanor turned cold. 

_'Are you sleeping with her? Is that why you want to go with her right now?'_ The girl accused, pointing fingers at Clarke as she signed furiously. 

_'Woah, Costia, what the hell are you doing?'_ Aden tried, but Costia shut him down. 

_'Why would you hurt me like that, Lex? You know I love you, right?'_ Costia continued, then turned to Clarke. _'You need to stay away from Lexa. Because I love her, and she loves me. And she would_ never _want to be with a whore like you. I bet you're sleeping with Aden on the side, too.'_

Lexa glared at Costia, ready to step in. _'Costia, that was way out of line--'_

_'Let's go, Lexa.'_ Costia signed with a harsh look, her hand falling on Lexa's arm. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that her grip was a lot harder than it needed to be. Clarke went to break them apart, to get Lexa away from the Costia, but Aden held her back. They were already causing a scene; passerbys looking at them as if they were witnessing a dogfight. 

Clarke sighed. They had to find another way around this. 

\---------------

Clarke and Aden still ended up going to talk to Indra after school. It took a little bit of waiting because Indra was at the gym, but when Aden's mother finally got home Clarke and Aden were quick to inform her of what was going on. Clarke felt like she was betraying Lexa, but she knew it was for the best. She knew that if she didn't do this, things would get a lot worse. 

Indra was shocked to hear about what was going on with Lexa and Costia. She told Clarke that she had a feeling something was going on, but she wasn't sure and didn't want to accuse Costia. But now that she knew she was right, she was furious. So she called Lexa, and asked her to come home. It didn't take a lot to know that Lexa was afraid; that she was grateful that her mother had called. Because if it was Indra calling, Costia had no choice but to allow Lexa to go home. 

That wasn't the case this time. 

It had taken Lexa longer to come home than usual, and when she did arrive at home she was disheveled and shaking from the cold. Clarke would at least assumed that Costia would have driven Lexa home, but it was clear that Costia was being a lot more than a bitch. They warmed Lexa up and sat her down, Clarke on one side of her, Indra on the other and Aden standing in front of them. 

_'Lexa...'_ Indra began, _'Clarke and Aden told me what happened with Costia.'_

Lexa's eyes shot over to Clarke, a look of hurt on her face. _'Why would you do that?'_ She asked. 

_'Lexa, I'm worried. You texted me in the middle of the night because you were scared. And after what happened at Polis today I.. I really don't think it should keep happening.'_

_'We just wanna help, Lex.'_ Aden offered after he got Lexa's attention off of Clarke. _'All of this needs to stop.'_

Lexa was silent. She knew she wasn't going to win this fight. Instead of saying anything, she slipped the blanket off her shoulders and pulled up the sleeve of her baseball tee. Right on her arm, where Costia had grabbed her earlier was a bruise starting to form. Clarke saw red in that moment, standing up and walking towards the door. 

"Where're you going?" Aden called. 

"I'm going to beat her ass, Aden."

Aden was quick to catch up to Clarke, putting himself between the door and Clarke's body. "You can't do that, Clarke. We have to be smart about this." 

Clarke looked at him, then huffed, then retreated back to the living room. 

_'I'm going to call Costia's mother.'_ Indra stated, standing up. _'It's all I can do at this point. But take photos of that bruise, please.'_

Clarke nodded, pulling out her phone to snap a few photos before she sat down next to Lexa. She was still angry, but she knew she had to be there for Lexa. 

_'I'm scared.'_ The brunette signed. 

_'I know.'_ Clarke responded. _'But we're going to keep you safe.'_

\----------------

Keeping Lexa safe was easier said than done. After Indra got off the phone with Costia's mother, who suggested getting a restraining order and that she'd handle Costia, Indra began the process to change Lexa's phone number. It'd be the easiest way to break all contact with Costia. They even talked about Lexa transferring to Arkadia, just so she wouldn't be in the same school as Costia anymore. It was overwhelming for Lexa, and she often found herself spacing out as the people around her kept talking. 

They settled on Lexa transferring. It wasn't fair; not at all. If anyone had to transfer schools it was Costia, but they felt it was easiest for Lexa considering all the friends and family she had at Arkadia. It made sense. 

Lexa took a week off of school while the transferring process happened. She also just felt like she needed a moment to breathe; to get away from everything. The longer she went without Costia, the more free she felt. Nobody wanted to leave her alone, which she was both grateful and not so grateful about, but it eased her fears that Costia could find her at any point. 

A week after Indra found out, Lexa and Clarke were at the gym. It was after Lexa's class; they were just talking and sparring here or there. Lexa was showing Clarke different moves that she had learned, and Clarke would mimic it the best she can. 

_'I keep telling you, I'm not an athlete!'_ Clarke laughed, falling into Lexa's arms. They stood there a moment, just hugging each other until Clarke pulled back. 

_'I'll be right back. I'm going to get a couple more drinks.'_ The blonde stated, turning to walk back to the offices where Lexa kept her packages of drinks. 

Lexa nodded, watching as Clarke disappeared before she started packing up her things. She felt good; it was nice to get back into the gym. When she was feeling low she would cancel her classes; wouldn't even want to step foot in the gym. She felt like she was betraying it because she couldn't even defend herself against Costia. She'd always freeze up; didn't know what to do all of a sudden. It made her feel horrible. 

The bruise on her arm was almost fully gone. She had no problem leading her class today, wearing only a sports bra to show how confident she was feeling. She felt like she could take on the world. 

But she didn't feel like she could take on her ( ex ) girlfriend who just walked through the door. 

_'What are you doing here?'_ Lexa tried. 

_'You changed your number? You transferred schools?'_ Costia glared, shoving Lexa's shoulders back. _'You're getting a restraining order? Why are you trying to leave me, Lexa?'_

Lexa shook her head quickly, holding her hands up. _'Costia, it's not --'_

_'Don't lie to me, Lexa! Why are you trying to leave? Why did you tell your mom I'm abusing you? I'm not doing anything wrong!'_

_'Costia --'_

Lexa was cut off by a slap to the face. _'Every hit you get you deserve it, Lexa. I'm not doing_ anything _wrong.'_

Lexa stumbled back, gaping as she held her face. She didn't know what to say, all words leaving her mind as she stumbled back to the floor. Costia walked over to her, the coldest look on her face. Lexa didn't recognize her. It wasn't the girl she fell in love with years ago -- the person standing in front of her was a monster. 

She closed her eyes, waiting for the impact and hoping like hell that Clarke came back soon. 

When the impact never came, she slowly opened her eyes; they widened as she took in the sight before her. Costia was on the floor, holding her face, while Clarke stood a few feet away from Lexa, holding her hand. She blinked a few times then stood, walking over to Clarke. 

Echo ran over to them, a pair of officers behind her. "Are you guys okay?" She asked; Lexa nodded. Clarke was able to give a slight thumbs up. 

_'I think she punched Costia, and I think she punched her wrong.'_ Lexa explained, looking at Clarke's hand. _'I have to get her to the hospital.'_

"We need to ask you girls a few questions." The officer explained, holding a notepad. Clarke was unable to translate, but she was grateful that Echo was still there and could both hear and sign. 

"I can tell you," Echo stated, "I saw.. most of it. Clarke was in the back room at the time. Costia came in, looking for Lexa. I didn't think anything of it, cause I thought they were still dating. So I let Costia in, and Costia walked over to Lexa, completely pissed off. Started yelling at her -- in sign language, it's a little confusing -- next thing you know, Lexa is getting shoved backwards. That's when I called you guys." 

The cop jotted down something on his pad, then looked up at Costia. "How does it account for her getting punched in the face?" 

"Oh, right." Echo continued. "Costia had shoved Lexa, then they were kinda yelling at each other, then Costia slapped Lexa. Lexa stumbled back, as one _does_ when they get slapped in the face, then she falls down. That's when Clarke came out. Costia looked like she was about to beat the shit out of Lexa. Pardon my French, by the way. But it's true. So Clarke stepped in, and punched Costia in the face." 

The cop looked to Costia, then back at Clarke and Lexa. "Is that what happened?" 

Clarke nodded, "Yes, for the most part. With me, anyways. Look, I'd love to answer any questions you may have but it all happened really fast and I can't feel my hand. Like, at all. And it hurts pretty bad." 

The cop sighed, but nodded. "You're free to go. Can you show me the security footage?" He asked, turning back to Echo. 

With Costia getting put in custody, Clarke and Lexa headed off to the hospital. Clarke was treated by Abby, which was interesting to try and explain, but in the end she didn't like the results. Clarke, who was left handed, had fractured her left hand. She wasn't too upset about it; mostly upset that she couldn't sign and that she couldn't paint -- especially with her portfolio due so soon. But she wasn't worried about that. 

She was just glad that she was able to do something to help Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a _little_ bit left of this plot. Wanted to wrap it up as smoothly as possible. Sorry if that ending is a little meh, I'm not the best at finding a spot to end off chapters. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and let me know what you think.


	12. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's first day at Arkadia. Clarke and Jake have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone! Hope you're all doing great. I'll admit, it was a little difficult trying to get back in the swing of things with this chapter. There was some family stuff that happened and I just wasn't in the mood to write for a short bit. As always, I hope you enjoy!

_**Wednesday, Jan. 17th** _

It was Lexa's first day at Akadia High. Despite Costia being put in custody, Indra and Nyko still felt it was best if Lexa transferred schools. Even Lexa herself felt that it would be better that way; that she'd feel safer with her friends than at the school where Costia could potentially return at any point. At Arkadia, she had her brother, Aden, and her friends, Clarke, Octavia, Lincoln, and even Raven and Murphy despite her not fully sure if they'd consider her a friend or not. 

Indra had suggested that they get Lexa an interpreter but Lexa shut it down. She could read lips well enough, and based on her schedule she had at least one class with one of her friends that could tell her what was going on. What was the point of having someone follow her around, giving people the benefit of picking on her, if there wasn't a need for it? Why would she subject herself to that? 

As she walked into the school, she stuck by Clarke's side. Despite the blonde barely being able to sign with one hand ( she hadn't gotten that advanced yet; she still stumbled when it came to differentiating the double handed signs and single handed signs ), Lexa felt safe with Clarke. Comfortable around her. And with Aden on her other side, she felt almost invincible. 

There were stares. Of course there were stares -- she wasn't expecting anything less. She was someone new, someone most of these people hadn't seen before unless it was at Aden's recitals for band and even then it wasn't like she talked to them. They didn't know her language. Barely anyone at that school did. But she couldn't blame them; sign language was hard to learn if you didn't learn as a child. 

_'You okay?'_ Clarke asked after nudging Lexa's shoulder, getting her attention. Lexa only smiled at her, nodding her head in response. 

The start of her classes was simple. She was able to sit next to her friends, and was able to follow along for the most part, but each time the teacher turned around suddenly Lexa felt lost. Sure, she didn't miss anything because her friends were translating, but it didn't stop that feeling that she wasn't being included. At Polis, all of the teachers were fluent in sign. The classes were taught in sign; nothing was said when the teachers back was turned. If they had to write things in class, they were given a small set of time to write before they had to look up again, but at least it was all-inclusive. Here, Lexa felt like an outsider. 

She met up with Clarke again at lunch, and instead of leading the brunette towards the lunch room, Clarke led Lexa to the bleachers. Lexa wanted to protest, saying that she was actually hungry, but Clarke told her that she had something for her. Because Clarke learned early on that if you're friends with Raven and Murphy, there was a chance you weren't eating at the cafeteria. 

Once they were under the bleachers, Clarke handed her a bag of chips and she ate while they waited for Aden to join them. Murphy was leaning back against the couch, a cigarette between his lips and Raven was going on to Clarke about something. Lexa wasn't able to fully follow along, but she did notice that Raven was signing a thing or two as she spoke. It made her heart swell, seeing that even someone like Raven was learning and trying to be able to translate her own words. She wondered if she had Clarke to thank for that. 

They sat on another run-down couch; when Lexa asked about the couches Clarke explained that the one Raven and Murphy sat on had always been there, but they had brought the other one from the junkyard on the other side of town when it started getting too cold for Clarke to sit on the ground. And while that changed Lexa's opinion on the otherwise nice couch, she still sat on it, curled into Clarke's side as she talked with Raven. 

When Aden joined them a few minutes later, a bottle of soda in his hands from the vending machine, that's when Murphy sat up with a smirk on his face. Lexa felt more than heard Clarke's "Oh no" as Aden sat down on the other side of Lexa, looking at Murphy with a curious glance. She wasn't sure what he was planning, but he reached over to pick up a stick, the smirk still in place. 

"It's your first day, right? Well, it's only fair that I do the same with you that I did with Griffin. Let's give you the run-down of Arkadia High, _Mean Girls_ style." 

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that Lexa was in for a lot more than just a run-down of the school with this group of people. 

\-----------------

The rest of her first day was a lot more difficult than Lexa had thought it would be. She had classes with her friends, of course, which made it a little easier, but that sense of easiness changed when one class broke to talk in small groups about the book they were reading in English. Lexa didn't even know what book it was, let alone the names of the other students. It was the class she shared with Lincoln. She wanted to sit next to him; wanted to be in the group with him so she could at least know what was going on. But it seemed that her teacher didn't get the memo -- the teacher had the two of them on different sides of the room. And while Lincoln talked with his group, Lexa was forced to try and keep up with only lip reading, and with the way the group was talking, the lip reading wasn't the best. 

She had asked people to slow down -- through pen and paper, of course -- but it didn't seem to work because once she said she was deaf, that she couldn't hear, suddenly the topic was all on her. And when the teacher came around asking what was going on, Lexa had to try and explain the situation. It turned into a scene where she was moved to sit with Lincoln, which she was glad about, but at the same time she felt weird because of how big of a deal it turned out to be. 

It also didn't help that during one of her classes, a girl got her attention by tapping her on the shoulder and Lexa jumped so far out of her chair she almost fell backwards. 

It wasn't until she was waiting by Clarke's car after school that she realized how badly Costia had affected her. That everything Costia had said to her, every touch that was unwanted, it still resonated inside Lexa and reminded her every second of every day. She wasn't good enough for Clarke. She wasn't good enough for anyone. And Costia's words echoed in her mind; every time she closed her eyes she was reminded of it. And she was just waiting for the day for Costia to try and return to her. As if Lexa was Costia's. 

She wrapped her arms around herself as she leaned against the car, her eyes darting around the parking lot. It wasn't that she thought Costia was going to show up at Arkadia just as she showed up at the gym, but there was a part of her that was afraid. Afraid that, despite the girl being in custody, despite the impending court date where it was certain that she'd be charged as an adult with the small mountain of proof against her, that Costia would find her. And if Costia did, she'd be pissed. 

She jumped at the vibration behind her -- someone tapped the car with their hand, attempting to get her attention. She turned, the lump in her throat disappearing at the gentle eyes that belonged to Clarke Griffin. She smiled, turning towards the blonde and letting out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding. 

_'You okay?'_ Clarke asked again, much like she had earlier that day. And as much as Lexa wanted to lie; wanted to tell Clarke that she was okay and that everything was fine, that she had a great first day at Arkadia, she knew that she couldn't lie to her. 

_'I guess? I'm just... not feeling the best. I...'_ She paused, licking her lips, _'I know she's in custody, and that this will all be over soon, but...'_

"You're still afraid, aren't you?" Clarke asked, giving Lexa a soft smile. The brunette nodded and Clarke had all the answer she needs. 

"You don't have to worry, Lex. I meant it when I said that I'd keep you safe." And Clarke still meant it then. To Clarke, the fractured hand was worth it. She wanted to make Lexa feel as safe as possible, whether that be through words, or actions, or even anything else. 

_'...Is Aden coming, too?'_ Lexa asked after a moment, motioning to the car. Clarke had driven them that morning, but she wouldn't put it past Aden to walk or catch a ride from someone else if he was staying after. 

Clarke nodded, motioning to the blonde boy coming their way. "He had to ask Kane a few things about our portfolios." She explained, opening the passenger door for Lexa. "You could've gone inside the car, you know." 

_'I didn't want to be rude.'_

Clarke only smiled at her and shut the door once Lexa was in the car. When they were all inside Clarke drove them home, telling both of them that she'd text them later and even gave a maybe to picking them up the next morning. Leaving the Woods to their own home Clarke drove home, not at all surprised to see Abby's car gone and Jake's parked right in front of the garage. She let out a sigh as she pulled in behind her father; she wasn't looking forward to the conversation she was going to have with him.

Since she told Indra about what her father was planning, things were a little strained between Clarke and her father. They didn't talk a whole lot, and Clarke had been trying to spend as little time at home as possible to avoid having the conversation she knew was inevitable. She went behind her father's back and ruined something that could have been big. She knew that; there was no way she couldn't know that. But she also knew in her gut that she had made the right decision. 

She walked inside, slipping off her shoes and adjusting her bag on her shoulder. The television was off, meaning that Jake wasn't in the living room. He wasn't in the kitchen, either, which meant that he was in his study. She got the feeling that he was waiting for her to come home. Suddenly Clarke regretted not staying at Aden's or going to Raven's after school. 

Making her way up the stairs, she only made it two steps past her father's study when he called her in. 

"Clarke, could you come in here for a second, please?" 

She sighed, dropping her bag by her door and walking into the room. 

Her father's study had always been a place of comfort for her. In Seattle, it was the place where she'd draw with him; him with his projects, her with her doodles in her sketchbook. When she was younger they'd spend hours in that room, only exiting when Abby called them for dinner. Her father's study had been a safe space for her. Knowing that there was nothing she could do to make her father upset; knowing that she'd always be welcome in the study to think of it as a room where she herself could study for school if she wanted a change of scenery. Oh, how the times have changed. 

"What's up?" She asked, walking in and taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of her father's desk. He was writing, not looking up from her as his head rest in his hand. She didn't have to look at his face to know that there was a look of displeasure there. 

"You told Mrs. Woods to decline our offer, didn't you?" He asked as he continued to write. 

Clarke straightening her back and nodded, "Yes, I did." 

The atmosphere in the room changed then; what once was supposed to be a calm and collected environment turned tense. You could cut the sudden thickness of the air with a knife and it still wouldn't change the way Clarke was feeling then. 

"Why? Exodus is such a big deal, Clarke." He paused, setting down his pen and looking up at his daughter. He folded his hands together, finally looking at her. "Don't you understand how much this pushed us back? That gym held most of the land on that block. Now we have no choice but to relocate and start over, changing designs to match a new spot of land. There isn't a lot of free space in Annapolis big enough for this project, Clarke." 

The blonde sighed, glancing down at her hands. It seemed that Jake was trying to make her feel guilty; trying to make her feel remorse for betraying her father at the hands of her friends. She was silent for a moment; feeling his eyes on her. "Then I guess you'll just have to find somewhere else." 

"We have a deadline to make!" Suddenly his voice was raised, his irritation abundant. 

"And Indra and Nyko have a family to feed and a community to provide for! Do you _know_ how many gyms in this area accommodate for deaf and hard of hearing individuals on a level where they can talk openly without an interpreter? Without judgement or fear of being taken advantage of? A gym they can afford and if they can't, a gym with programs to help? How would Exodus benefit to that community?" 

Clarke had been paying attention a lot more recently. She knew how to make a solid argument and was grateful for that. And while she herself was not a member of the deaf community, in that moment, she felt like it was up to her to speak on their behalf. 

"That is not my problem, Clarke! If Exodus isn't making progress by the end of March the project is cancelled -- that's thousands of dollars invested, wasted! Not to mention the dozens of pissed off investors." 

Jake was fuming at this point. It was clear that this decision alone had caused him a lot of stress over the past few days -- stress that Clarke didn't even want to see because Jake had dug himself this hole when he and Thelonious decided to try and wipe out an entire block of business. It was that moment that Clarke didn't care what her father said or did; she had made her choice. And her choice was against Exodus. 

She smirked, already standing from the chair and going to leave the study, "That's not my problem." 

\------------------

**_Friday, Jan. 19th_ **

Clarke sat in her bedroom with Aden, a string of canvas placed out along her wall. Since she wasn't able to paint with her hand being fractured ( she was just hoping it wouldn't be long until she got the stupid brace off and would be able to properly use her hand again ), Aden suggested he came over and helped Clarke decide on a few painting to use for her portfolios. She wasn't able to use one that she presented in class; it had to be fresh to the eyes of Kane and the scouts he'd present them to. Which left Clarke struggling, trying to decide what pieces would actually work for her portfolio. What pieces showed the kind of work she could really do. 

Clarke was on her bed while Aden looked over the work. She was impatient; fiddling with the ends of her hair while he looked at them. He seemed lost in thought; thinking about who knows what. The silence in the room was driving Clarke mad.

"You don't know how hard it is to try and choose from these when all I want to do is paint something new." She sighed, shaking her head as she stood. "I mean, sure. They could work. But none of them.. None of them really _fit_ with my mood right now." 

She looked over her own work. There was a portrait of her parents that she had done a few months prior, before things became tense with both her mother and her father. A portrait of Niylah -- it had been done as a project at her old school before she moved, but Clarke felt like it wasn't recent enough. A sunrise; too basic to use in her portfolio. A few others that, to Clarke, just felt completely outdated. 

"Why not paint with your right hand?" Aden asked, crossing his arms as he looked to Clarke. 

"Me painting with my right hand is as good of an idea as Lexa tuning your piano, Aden." 

Aden chuckled, shaking his head. "She's actually pretty decent at it, not going to lie. But it could be a good idea. You painting with your right hand, I mean." He stated, walking to sit next to her on the bed. "You could make it abstract -- a challenge. Use your non-dominant hand and challenge yourself into making something that looks amazing. Which, by the way, it's going to look amazing anyways -- but it could give you more props for a scholarship." 

Clarke stared at him, her eyes wide. She hadn't even thought of that as an option. She had been too stuck in a mindset where she couldn't paint because she wasn't ambidextrous that she hadn't even thought of doing something abstract. She hadn't done a lot of abstract -- her place of power with painting was in portraits and linework. 

"Aden, you're a genius." 

The boy smiled, "I know." 

When Aden had to leave, Clarke got to work on her new piece. And to start it off, she pulled out her phone to one of her most recent photos, knowing exactly what she was going to paint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I love reading your comments about the story. :)


	13. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a little bit about Raven and Murphy. Also... a court case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was doing a little bit of research for this chapter when I came across the knowledge that most domestic violence cases do not go to court, but at that point I already had most of this chapter written, so... hopefully it still works?

_**Tuesday, Jan. 23rd** _

The past few days, Clarke had been trying to help Lexa the best that she could with school, but each day proved to be more and more difficult with the brace wrapped around her hand. It was healing, that was a given, but even during the short times when she was allowed to take off the brace the doctors advised her _not_ to sign or paint with it. No strenuous movements to cause even more harm to her hand. Clarke had no choice but to take it seriously, because without her hand, she might as well change her entire future college major. 

The thing Clarke hates the most about it, though, is that she can't talk to Lexa by herself. Sure, she _could_ do it, but that would either require Lexa to do all the work, focusing on what Clarke is saying and not actively participating because she's watching Clarke's lips, or feeling weird as she writes down what she's trying to say. It's not how it used to be. And Clarke knew that her own lack of signing wasn't just affecting her. Lexa just chose not to say anything about it. 

They hadn't had the chance to really talk since the day at the gym. Clarke couldn't blame Lexa for not wanting to talk about it; the most she's gotten out of the girl was the few snippets of an idea of what was going through her head when Lexa would text Clarke at 2 AM with a nightmare. Clarke just hates that she can't help Lexa in the way that she wants to. 

It also didn't help that within the past few days, Clarke had been staying with Raven and Murphy, which meant that she wasn't as close to the Woods' residence as she would be if she was in her own house. Things were still rocky with her dad and Clarke didn't want to have to deal with his tantrum _again_. She felt like _she_ was the parent, trying to teach a child wrong from right. Which was a hard way of thinking, especially when she knew her father _meant_ well, but he went about it the wrong way. 

She was making dinner in the kitchen of Raven's apartment, or at least _trying_ to. Raven was helping her the best she could from a stool in the kitchen because her knee was bothering her. Whereas Clarke's working legs worked, so did Raven's working hands. It was an odd attempt to make dinner, but they were making it work with little bickering and soft banter. 

"You know, I really hope your hand is better before Friday. Kinda don't want to help with my own birthday cake." Raven shrugged, saying it so nonchalantly that Clarke almost missed it.

"Your birthday is Friday?" She asked, "Why didn't you say anything before?" 

"It's not really a big deal." The brunette brushed it off, opening a box of noodles and pouring them into the boiling water. "Murph and I usually just like, go laser tagging and get a shit ton of pizza. Other than that it's a regular day. Usually I don't have cake, but I've tried your cake Griffin, and I want some of that." 

Raven continued on with dinner, but Clarke was curious. Her own birthday was usually low-key as well, but even then she still didn't mind telling her friends about it. She used to have a tradition with Niylah where the other girl would call her at midnight and be the very first person to wish her a happy birthday. It made her miss her friend. She made a mental note to call Niylah later before she continued the conversation. 

"Why? Has it always been so... simple?" 

"Not really, but..." Raven sighed, turning the water to a low boil before she turned to Clarke. "It used to be great. My mom and dad woke me up with breakfast, make the day great, y'know? Sappy shit. When I started living with Murphy I decided I didn't want to make a huge deal out of it. It's the same with his." 

Clarke chewed her lip, "Can I--"

"You want to know what went down with my 'rents and I." Raven smirked, causing Clarke to gape. Was she being that obvious?

"If that's okay." 

Raven sighed, but nodded as she motioned for Clarke to pull up another chair. "It's alright, might as well be open about it, right? Could you grab me a beer before you sit down though, please. If I'm gonna get through this it might as well be with a beer in my hand like some 80s teen drama where they all go around telling their sob stories over a joint." With the beer now in her hands she took a sip, stirred the sauce in the pan next to her and sighed, mentally preparing herself. 

"I was... sixteen?" Raven began, "Sixteen. Legally able to be emancipated. Anyway, I was young. Just figured out my sexuality, turns out little teenage me had a thing for girls, too. Well, that obviously didn't sit well with my bible-loving, old-school Christian folks. I was with this girl, we were in my basement, just having a good time. We were drinking, too. No big deal, right?" She shrugged, looking down at the bottle in her hands. She fiddled with the label that was coming loose on one side, pinching it and pulling it, but trying not to rip it off. She took a deep breath before continuing. "My parents come in. Yelling, screaming, calling me a sinner. I thought it was because of the beer. Underaged drinking, y'know? Not a good thing sometimes. But... turns out they're extremely homophobic. I was on the streets that night." 

Clarke didn't know what to say. Her heart ached for the girl in front of her; she could understand why Raven was so hesitant to share it. Clarke herself hadn't even told her parents about how she liked girls because in reality, she wasn't sure how they'd react. If things were the way they were before, if she was on good terms with both of her parents at the same time, it'd be different. But now, now that she's managed to piss off her father, and is still bickering with her mother, she wasn't sure what would happen if she decided to tell them. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind until then. 

"Shit, Raven, that's horrible." 

"It's whatever. The past is in the past." Raven shrugged it off, but Clarke could tell that bringing up the past had ruffled her the wrong way. She was tense as she checked on the food next to her, shaking her head. 

"How... does Murphy fit into all of this?" 

The change of spotlight seemed to ease Raven a little bit, enough for her to want to continue. "We knew each other 'cause of school. He was a freshman, I was a sophomore. I ran into him under the bleachers, actually. We got to talking. Became friends and became inseparable. Gave each other the run down of our tragic backstories and by the end of the year we were living here thanks to Jasper. His uncle owns this building." Raven explained.

"Why did Murphy move out so young?" 

"My parents are drunks." The blonde turned around to see Murphy in the doorway, leaning against the threshold. He pushed off it and walked over to the fridge to get himself a beer, joining the small drinking circle. "Assholes, maybe. Not a harsh enough word. Work, home, drink. Barely eat. Don't talk to each other unless they're arguing. I swear they don't even know I've been gone for almost four years." He scoffed, shaking his head as he downed a quarter of the beer in one go. 

"Jasper's uncle hooked us up here," He continued, "Paid for the first year until I was old enough to get my work permit. Then he helped us out when Raven got in her accident our," He motioned to Clarke and himself, "Junior year. We've got him to thank. He's the only adult I'm thankful for." 

He leaned against the counter, the bottle of beer occasionally going to his lips to sip from it. Raven mimicked him from his chair; the apartment fell silent save for the soft flickering of the flame from the gas stove next to them. Clarke chewed her lip, eager to break the silence. 

"And you don't want to do anything this year, for your birthday?" She asked carefully, going back to the topic at hand. 

Raven shrugged, finally standing to nudge Clarke out of the way to finish the dinner. Clarke was willing, but Raven shot her down. Clarke felt like it was Raven's way of saying she wanted to busy herself. 

"Maybe? I mean, I think it'd be nice, but at the same time..." 

"She's not big on change." Murphy filled in the blank, watching as Raven finished up. Her hands were shaking as she went to drain the pasta, and he set his beer down to take it from her. 

"Exactly." 

"What if it was something... fun? Like what you guys normally do?" Clarke suggested. 

"Are you saying you want in on our traditions, Griff?" 

Murphy hadn't meant for it to come off as harsh as it did. Clarke knew that. But the snip in his tone made her think that maybe she had pushed too far. Sure, Raven had brought up mention of a cake earlier, and while Clarke wasn't entirely sure whether she was joking or not, she at least hoped that Raven would _want_ Clarke to be a part of whatever birthday celebration they had in mind. 

"I'm just saying --"

"You can join us, Clarke." Raven cut her off, crossing her arms as Murphy took over finishing dinner. "Murphy's just..." She sighed, glancing at the boy, "Being Murphy. You know him, he's like a dog sometimes. All bark to protect his owner, but no real bite." 

Murphy scoffed, and suddenly it was like things were back to normal between them. Or at least, that's what Clarke hoped. 

On the 25th of January, Clarke got her cast off. And she did, like promised, made Raven a cake that her friend was grateful for. Cherry chip with cream cheese frosting, just like Raven had asked. And Raven told her it was the best present she had gotten since she left. 

( Murphy had rolled his eyes in annoyance. )

On the 26th of January, Raven, Murphy and Clarke headed to the local arcade for rounds of laser tag and pizza. And to Clarke's surprise, Raven had extended her invitation to Aden, Lexa, Octavia and Lincoln as well. They spent hours going against each other, with Aden being the one jumping between teams, and it was a night of laughter, joy and memories that they'd remember. When Clarke asked Raven later that night why she extended the invitation, Raven only shrugged and said a simple line:

"You can't pick your blood family, blondie. But you can pick your chosen one. And maybe it's time for me to extend my chosen family just a little more to those who've shown they care." 

\---------------------

_**Sunday, Jan. 28th** _

She was nervous. Her palms were clammy, causing her to repeatedly wipe them against her dress pants to try and keep them dry. Anyone who was around her could tell that her hands weren't shaking because of the cold, but because of what they were waiting to do. All they were waiting on to get this started was the judge. 

Costia's trial. It was the day she was dreading since she got the call about it a few days after the incident in the gym. Really, Lexa thought it was stupid. They had their proof. There was photos and video evidence that Costia had hurt her. Even Costia's own mother knew that Costia was in the wrong. So why was all of this necessary? 

Oh, right. Because of Costia's father. 

Costia's father, who only decided to be a father when he heard about what had happened. 

Lexa had to keep herself from rolling her eyes. She hated that man ever since she heard about him leaving Costia. In a time when Lexa was in love with Costia, she was the one who held Costia while she cried, thinking her father didn't care. Lexa was the one who wiped Costia's tears the night her father left. And now, it was like he was back to personally haunt Lexa's nightmares. 

She didn't want to see Costia again. She thought she was done with the girl the moment she left the gym. Turns out, the universe had something else in mind for her. 

She gave Clarke's hand a squeeze as they continued to wait. 

Lexa knew it wasn't going to be like she's seen on television. If it wasn't for Costia's father insisting that his daughter was innocent, there wasn't going to be a trial at all. But everything became flipped and fuzzy when he stepped into the picture, pointing his finger at everyone and saying that his lawyer was already involved. At the time, it just gave Lexa a headache, and she couldn't even hear what he was saying. 

Her family was there for moral support, all aside from Clarke, Aden, and Echo who were there as witnesses. Lexa just wanted this all to be over with. 

The judge entered the room, and they began. 

As she assumed, Lexa was the first up to the stand. 

"So, Miss Woods, will you please recount your history with Miss Greene?" Charles, Costia's lawyer asked. Lexa had to look to the translator to even understand what was going on. She mentally scoffed at the fact that Costia's father had hired a hearing lawyer for his deaf daughter. 

_'That's a... long history, your honor.'_ Lexa signed, allowing the translator to speak for her. She hated feeling that loss of power that came from someone else speaking her words. _'But, regarding the... reason, for this trial, it started a few years ago.'_ And Lexa recounted every detail of her relationship with Costia. Summarizing the beginning, but going into detail when things started changing between the two of them. Her answer seemed to suffice for the jury, which Lexa was glad about. 

"If you felt like you were being mistreated by Miss Greene, why didn't you tell an adult?"

_'I didn't want her to be alone. I cared for her, a lot. And she's had a hard life. I didn't want to leave her all alone like so many other people have.'_

She knew that the moment the words left the translators mouth, her words struck against Costia's father. 

"You said you knew Miss Greene cheated on you, is this correct?"

_'Yes.'_

"How are you so certain?"

_'She told me, right to my face.'_

Charles deflated for a moment. It was clear that he had misread that part of Costia's written statement. 

The rest of Lexa's statements went on like that. Back and forth, with Charles asking questions until he couldn't ask her anymore. Then it was Aden's turn to go to the stand. 

He had recounted what happened at the school when he and Clarke went to pick up Lexa. How Costia was off, how he could see how protective she was being despite Aden being Lexa's brother. Charles had tried to twist Aden's words, attempting to insinuate that maybe, just maybe, Aden had been the one being overprotective towards Lexa. And it was in that moment that it was clear that Charles was playing dirty; without a doubt the product of Costia's father's manipulation. He had tried to do the same when Echo went to the stand to speak about the gym incident. 

But then it was Clarke's turn. And it was in that moment that Lexa knew exactly what was going on. 

"Miss Griffin, it is to our understand that you are aware of what was happening between Miss Greene and Miss Woods before the incident on January 8th, is this correct?" Charles started, his arms folded behind his back as he stared directly at Clarke. He was pacing in front of the court room. Lexa could see the gears turning in his head. 

"Yes," Clarke nodded, "That is correct." 

"Why didn't you tell an adult when it was happening?" 

His questions were different with Clarke. Like he knew something that he wasn't letting on. 

"With all due respect your honor, at the time of my knowledge it had yet to get physical between Costia and Lexa. Did I like it? No, of course not. I wanted Lexa to get out of that relationship, but she told me she had it under control." 

Charles hummed, "So you didn't believe that the abuse had gotten intense enough to tell someone?"

Clarke gaped a moment, "...I don't understand how me not telling someone that Lexa was in a toxic relationship has anything to do with anything. She told me she had it under control, was I supposed to just not believe my friend?" 

"Friends, hm?" Charles began, stopping in front of Clarke. "Miss Griffin, to my understanding, you and Miss Woods shared a kiss on New Years, did you not?" 

Clarke glared at him, "How did you know that?" 

"Objection! Irrelevant, your honor." Christine, Lexa's own lawyer, called out. 

"Sustained," The judge agreed.

"My apologies, your honor, but I am making a point." 

The judge sighed, but motioned for Charles to continue. 

"Please, Miss Griffin, recount what you saw on both dates when an incident occurred." 

So Clarke did. She recounted the day at Polis, and she recounted the event at the gym. Each of her own stories matched up with Aden and Echo's. But Lexa could see the smirk on Charles face, and she was afraid as to what he was planning. 

"So, you attacked Miss Greene on January 15th, fracturing her nose?" 

Clarke frowned, "Yes, I did. I was getting her off of Lexa." 

"I see. So, if you were willing to get violent for the sake of _protecting_ Miss Woods, who's to say that you didn't get violent against Miss Woods? Who's to say that you were not the cause of Miss Woods' injuries on January 8th in an attempt to keep her quiet about you kissing her on New Years, then attempted to pin the blame on Miss Greene? Who's to say --" 

"Objection, your honor, he's being repetitive and rhetorical." Christine stepped in again, a look of utter displeasure on her face. 

"Sustained," The judge looked just as displeased as Christine, "Miss Griffin is on the stand as a witness, Mr. Bennet. Not a suspect. Question negated." 

Charles silently fumed as he stiffened his back, "No further questions, your honor." 

When Clarke was able to step away from the stand, the court was dismissed for the jury to congregate with each other and the evidence. 

The small group consisting of Aden, Echo, Clarke, Lexa, Indra and Nyko headed out to the hallway. Clarke's face was flushed white; she wasn't even sure what just happened to herself and she was partaking in it. 

"What was his game in there?" Indra asked quietly, glancing over the faces of the young adults. Clarke shook her head, allowing Lexa's arm to wrap around her. 

"It's clear he was trying to pin the blame on me. I don't know what his angle was, but I don't like that guy." Clarke responded, shaking her head as she leaned into the brunette. 

_'It's Costia's father,'_ Lexa added with one hand, _'Mom, you remember how he was. He was horrible to her and her mom. It doesn't really surprise me that he'd do something like this.'_

"By potentially putting the blame on Clarke it could waver the jury. It's a long shot, but it could've been Costia's father's last attempt to take the blame off Costia. Make Clarke out to be the bad guy, Costia goes free and Clarke gets charged for assault instead of defense." Echo added, crossing her arms. "It makes sense, in a sadistic sort of way." 

"What's the point in that, though? There's video proof that Costia did it." Aden explained, shaking his head. Clarke could tell that he was getting pissed off by whatever happened in the courtroom. 

"One last futile attempt. It was pointless, really. As far as I'm concerned things are going to go in our favor. Our stories all add up with the evidence. The jury has to at least be smart, right?" Echo looked around the group, earning a few nods.

"I just hope she gets something decent after what she did. She may be a minor, but she's a major pain in the ass." Aden mumbled, earning a nudge from Indra. 

They stayed together, not straying too far from the group while they waited. They knew it could take up to hours for the jury to make their decision, but they were all hoping that it would be sooner rather than later. Lexa wanted to go home; she didn't want to see Costia's face again. Not after this, at least. 

At some point while they waited, they were visited by Costia's mother. At first, Lexa stiffened, but Indra reassured her that Costia's mother was on their side. 

"I'm so sorry about this," The woman explained, a solem look on her face. "I didn't want this to happen. I was fully ready to let this blow over with whatever was handed to Costia. It was her father that insisted they fight back." She explained, mostly to Costia. 

"I know, dear. Don't worry. We're just hoping that this doesn't turn out any worse." Indra replied. 

"And Clarke?" Costia's mother asked; Clarke looked up at her. "I don't know what was happening in there. But I assure you, you're not going to be blamed. There's.. too much against Costia from your guys' statements and my own." 

Clarke understood that this must've been hard for her; having to testify against her own daughter. But at the same time, she was grateful that they had someone from Costia's family on their side. 

"Thank you."

Indra sat and talked with Costia's mother for a few moments, while Clarke pulled Lexa up to go get food for everyone. There was a drive thru not far from the courthouse, and Clarke offered to get everyone lunch while they waited. If anything, it was to get Lexa out of that courthouse for a short while. 

They walked along the sidewalk, just allowing the chill of late January to brush past them. Clarke could tell that Lexa wanted to speak, but she couldn't find the words. So instead, she just took Lexa's hand, giving it a squeeze as they walked. And maybe she didn't have all the answers, but she was willing to pretend that everything was going to be okay even for a little while. They'd always have later on to talk if they needed to. 

When they returned, they handed out everyone's food and sat by themselves outside the courthouse. Their knees touching barely, keeping close enough contact but not too close to where it seemed too much. Clarke had spotted Costia and her father walking up the stairs with their own food; the blonde had to bite back her own smirk as she scooted just a little closer to Lexa. Lexa welcomed it, even going as far as resting her head on Clarke's shoulder. Clarke knew that Lexa felt safe with her. 

Aden had retrieved them moments later, saying they were heading back inside the courtroom.

The air was tense, the room silent as they waited for the jury to make their statement. It was fast; almost too fast. Clarke just hoped that things were going to be okay. She held Lexa's hand as a member of the jury stood, and it was almost like everyone in the room was holding their breath.

"We, the jury of this courtroom state Costia Greene..." 

_'She hit me.'_

_"I'll keep you safe."_

"...Guilty of assault."

The judge's gavel hit, and suddenly eyes were on him.

"Miss Greene is sentenced to forty hours of community service in the city of Annapolis, but cannot go within fifty feet of Miss Woods. Court dismissed." 

And suddenly, it felt like everyone let out a breath at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know a lot about law and court cases and all that; all of my knowledge comes from google searches. I felt a little weird about this chapter, but I hope you guys liked it. 
> 
> Also, there's two references in this chapter: A Breakfast Club reference, and a Glee reference. The Breakfast Club one is a lot more obvious than the Glee one. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think.


	14. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day! Whole lotta fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, so sorry about the wait. IRL stuff got in the way and killed my muse for a short bit. But hey, I'm back.  
> We've got a time jump to February this time around. Hope you guys enjoy this long ass chapter that I totally didn't write in one sitting until 3 am.

**_Sunday, Feb. 11th_ **

Pacing along her room, Lexa chewed her lip, thinking. She didn't know how to go about this; the previous years, Costia was always the one to plan out Valentine's Day. She wanted control. Wanted to be able to dictate what Lexa did and Lexa always went along with it because she knew it made Costia happy. But now? Now she didn't have Costia ( which she's not mad about ), but she has Clarke. Clarke, who has done everything she can to make sure Lexa is okay and Clarke, who has done so much on her own that Lexa isn't even sure where to start. To Lexa, Clarke is strong. Clarke is amazing and, although she'd never admit it out in the open, she feels like she doesn't deserve Clarke. 

Yet, here she is, days before Valentine's Day and allowing Octavia to talk her into some grand gesture to ask Clarke out. 

_'Every way I can think of doesn't seem good enough. How am I supposed to ask out the girl who can have whoever -- and whatever -- she wants?'_ Lexa asked, turning towards Octavia. 

_'What are you talking about? It's Clarke, Lexa. She's going to love anything you choose to do for her.'_ Octavia explained, brows furrowed. 

_'I can't paint. I can't talk, I can't... do anything that would be considered romantic. How am I supposed to do this, O?'_ The brunette sighed, sitting next to her friend. Octavia patted her leg, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

_'We'll think of something. What are some of the things that Clarke likes? Aside from art.'_

Lexa thought for a moment, thinking of all the things Clarke had shared with her. Everything that she could think of didn't seem like a good way to ask the blonde out for Valentine's Day. 

_'Nothing I can think of seems good enough. How did Lincoln ask you out?'_ Lexa asked, a desperate look on her face. 

Octavia grinned, _'It was for homecoming. He had his teammates do this ridiculous dance routine. But I don't think we can have them plan something out in time for Valentine's Day.'_

Lexa frowned. 

_'But,'_ Octavia continued, _'That does give me an idea.'_

\---------------

"I want to ask Lexa out for Valentine's Day. Is that cheesy? How does one even do that? I've never done that before." Clarke rambled, spreading out ingredients for lunch. She was back in her home; her father out on business _again_. Really, when it came down to that, she didn't mind. She didn't talk to her mother that often anymore, but at least they weren't arguing. 

"Well, kinda, yeah." Aden commented, slipping onto one of the stools in front of the island. "BUt I think she'll like it. She likes that cheesy romance stuff." 

Clarke sighed, shaking her head as she prepared the meal of the afternoon: boxed mac 'n cheese with a "Griffin Twist" as she used to call it. "Everything I can think of involves music. Is that insensitive of me?" 

Aden gave her a look as he watched her move around the kitchen, "Uh, I don't think so. At least, it's not to me. What about movies? I know you guys watch a bunch together." He offered, shrugging his shoulders. "Or photographs? Like a collage?" 

"We haven't taken that many photos together. Besides, those are more her thing. You know? It'd make more sense coming from her." She sighed, shaking her head as she put the water on to boil, turning back to Aden, "I could do a painting, maybe..." Pausing, she ran a hand through her hair. "Is it possible to do a custom painting in three days?"

"Are you forgetting the painting I did for Murphy?" 

"I'm not painting Lexa as a queen. That was your idea." 

Aden shrugged, standing to help Clarke with the other various ingredients she pulled out, "I'm sure whatever you do, she'll love." 

\-------------------

_**Wednesday, February 14th** _

Clarke walked into school, headphones pressed into her ears as she made her way past over-lovey couples kissing and embracing the day. She wasn't able to find a creative way to ask Lexa out, so she was hoping that when she saw Lexa she'd just be able to get it out and ask the girl right then and there. It was unplanned, completely improvised, but maybe spontaneity was key. She was hoping she'd be able to pick Lexa and Aden up for school, give her a little time to be around Lexa before she asked her, but Aden had texted her that morning saying that the two of them were heading into school early. Something about Lexa needing the notes from one of her classes. So Clarke drove to school alone. 

She was at least hoping that one of her friends would greet her by her locker. If not Lexa or Aden, then maybe at least Raven. They had first period together, after all. But her locker was friendless, and even more so, lacking the red and white decorations that the other lockers seemed to sport from friend's giving each other stick-on Valentine's. She wasn't bitter, or at least she wasn't trying to be, but it made her miss Seattle. Mostly because Niylah would always go all out with her Valentine's message in dry erase markers. 

She made a mental note to call Niylah at some point. 

Sighing, she walked up to her locker and opened it, only planning on changing out her books. She wasn't, however, expecting a note to fall out of the slits at the top of her locker. Frowning, she bent down and picked it up, immediately recognizing the curly handwriting on the front of the note that just read "Clarke". 

Smiling to herself, she opened it. 

_"The day has only just begun,_  
so why not have a little fun?  
Today's a day that lovers share;  
a world of books, your clue is there." 

There wasn't anything else to go by the note, but Clarke would recognize Lexa's handwriting anywhere. The handful of times they'd spent studying together gave her enough to go by, and this was definitely Lexa's handwriting. She checked the time; she didn't have enough time to run to the library ( she assumed that was where the next clue was ), but she'd definitely have to go there as soon as she could. She was curious as to what Lexa had up her sleeve. 

She went to first period, and was surprised to see Raven already at their desk in the back of the room. Her legs were kicked up as per usual, and she was scribbling about in her notebook, clearly avoiding the task that Wick had written on the board. 

"Do you know anything about this?" Clarke asked, taking a seat next to the brunette and showing Raven the note in her hand. Raven took it from her, glanced it over, and shook her head. 

"Not a thing. Who wrote that? Do you have a secret admirer?" Raven wiggled her brows suggestively, causing Clarke to roll her eyes.

"It's from Lexa."

"How do you know?" 

Clarke gave her a look, "I like to believe that I know Lexa's handwriting, Raven." 

"Do you just study her handwriting or something?" 

"No, but we do study together." 

Raven nodded, rolling her eyes as Wick instructed to take her feet off the desk, not bothering to do as she was told. "So you're positive that it's Lexa?" 

"Who else could it be?" 

"I don't know, Roan Queen?" 

Clarke scoffed. "As if Roan Queen has _this_ curly of handwriting." 

"Hey, you never know. I'm just saying, it could be anybody." 

Clarke sighed and started on the task, hoping that she was right in this case. Because if it was anyone other than Lexa, she wasn't sure how to let the person down gently. 

\-------------------

The moment Clarke stepped into the library and saw Lincoln casually standing by a stack of books on his phone, the blonde knew that this wasn't just a coincidence. He seemed so out of place; clearly distracted by whatever game he was playing and it looked like he was only there to wait for her. She walked up to him, snapping a few times to get his attention, and smiling when he noticed her. 

"What're you doing in here?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Oh, just... checking out books." 

"Uh huh," She shook her head, "And what books?" 

Lincoln stammered for a moment, "The Great Gatsby." 

"The book everyone read last year?" 

"I like the book." 

"Sure." She chuckled, glancing around the shelf he stood by. There had to be a reason he was standing at that bookshelf. Lexa was smart; she'd place him around the area that Clarke was supposed to look. 

She found the little folded up piece of paper on the back of the shelf, sticking out next to a copy of -- of course -- the Great Gatsby. The blonde rolled her eyes and picked it up, unfolding it and ignoring Lincoln's eye on her. 

_"Gatsby's love hid behind a green light._  
Across the lake -- his favorite sight.  
Myself; around you I never have to shield;  
Your next clue is with a modern-day Holden Caulfield." 

She let out a laugh as she read the last line, her mind immediately going to the exact person it was about. She earned a hush from the librarian, but it was well worth it as she pulled Lincoln out of the library, intending on finding Murphy before she had to go to her next class. 

\----------------

She wasn't able to find him before class. In fact, she wasn't able to find him until lunch time, where, to Clarke's surprise, neither Lexa nor Aden had joined them. The blonde was a little hurt; she was looking forward to seeing her friends at lunch during their usual time together but she also didn't mind spending it with Murphy and Raven alone. 

As soon as she saw Murphy she walked up to him, demanding that he give her the note. 

"The hell are you talking about, Griff?" He mumbled, gazing up at her from where he lay on the couch with sleep-clouded eyes. "I was sleeping."

"The note, Murphy. The one from Lexa? I know you have one." Clarke crossed her arms, trying to hide her impatience. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." 

Clarke huffed and pulled Murphy to the ground by his jacket, starting to search his pockets. She found it, eventually, in the chest pocket of his black and white flannel. 

"Is that another note like the one from this morning?" Raven asked, ashing out her cigarette. 

"Yep. This is the one that the one from my locker led me to." Clarke explained, handing the previous note to Raven. Raven read it aloud, snickering at the joke. 

"I'm offended." Murphy mumbled, having heard the riddle for the first time. 

"Read it out loud, blondie. I wanna hear it." 

Clarke chewed her lip but nodded, unfolding the paper. 

"Look at you, you've done so well.  
But where am I? I'll never tell.  
You only have one clue to go,  
the next clue is where musicians lay low."

Raven and Murphy were silent for a moment, looking at each other. 

"What the hell does she mean?" Murphy asked. 

"Music room?" Raven suggested. 

"No, they're loud as fuck in there. That's not laying low." 

Raven rolled her eyes. 

Finally, after doing some thinking Clarke snapped, "The orchestra pit. It makes sense." She picked up her bag, already walking back into the school before Raven and Murphy could protest. 

As the blonde walked off, Raven turned to her friend, "How'd that note get in your pocket if you didn't know anything about it?" 

Murphy smirked, taking a drag from his cigarette and laying back down on the couch, "Wouldn't you like to know."

\-----------------

Clarke knew that by the time she made it to the auditorium, she wouldn't have a lot of time to spare. She'd have to go in, find the note, and would probably have to read it in her next class. The heavy doors closed behind her as she all but ran down the stairs, excited to get the next riddle. She made her way closer to the stairs, almost missing the smaller set that led down to the orchestra pit. But standing there, by himself, was Aden, looking over sheet music as he leaned against the wall of the pit. 

She walked up to him, waving her hand in front of him to get his attention. 

"Oh, hey." He commented, grinning. 

"Hey yourself. You've been avoiding me." 

"For a good reason," He chuckled, pulling a note out of his back pocket. "This is for you."

"Were you in on this when you helped me the other day?" She asked, unfolding the note carefully. 

Aden checked the time then shook his head. "No, actually. She told me about this this morning." 

"So you confirm that it's Lexa?"

"I didn't say that." 

The bell rang overhead and Clarke sighed, folding the note back up. "You'll be hearing about this in 7th." She playfully glared at him as she walked away, turning her back as he laughed. She only had two hours until her seventh period. Then maybe she'd be able to get some answers from Aden if Lexa didn't surprise her first. 

She sat in her class, her finger tapping impatiently as she waited for their teacher to give them the go ahead to do classwork before she opened her last riddle. 

_"Aden plays a single instrument._  
I never learned; my hearing spent.  
Your surprise lies where you know well;  
many pieces lie; an artists' spell." 

Aden was lucky; it seemed like he wasn't going to be interrogated after all.

\--------------------

She all but ran to the art room for her last period, itching to see the brunette again. It seems that all it took was a day of not seeing Lexa to make her miss the girl. She spotted Octavia outside the room, a grin forming on her face as she approached her. 

"Hey," Clarke commented. "Is she in there?" 

Octavia only nodded towards the open door. 

Clarke walked inside, her grin growing at the sight in front of her. Lexa stood by Clarke's desk, a sign that read "I know my timing is quite late, but will you be my Valentine's Date?" on it in big red letters. It only took a second for Clarke to nod, walking over to her. 

_'Of course I will, Lex.'_ Clarke smiled, Lexa's own matching it. 

Aden nudged Lexa's shoulder, _'I told you she'd say yes.'_ He smirked, turning towards Clarke. "She was worrying all morning about this whole thing." 

"At least you weren't like Raven who assumed that it was Roan Queen." Clarke shrugged, signing along before she took Lexa's hand, squeezing it. 

"Seriously? Of all people?" 

"I know."

 _'Who's Roan Queen?'_ Lexa asked, looking between Aden and Clarke. 

"A football jock with a pea for a brain." Aden joked, causing Clarke to roll her eyes. 

"He's not _that_ dumb, Aden."  
"He's one of the few football players that don't give a shit about me. To me, that makes him dumb."

"He didn't seem that dumb when we were making homecoming floats." Clarke interjected. 

"Because he didn't want Octavia to kick his ass. Trust me, Ontari isn't any better. They play nice around Octavia and Lincoln but when it's just them, they don't give a shit." 

Clarke sighed, shaking her head. "Enough about them, okay? I'm beyond glad that it was Lexa." She smiled at the brunette, leaning over to kiss her cheek. 

The bell rang overhead, and when Lexa was informed she turned to Clarke. _'I'll pick you up at six, okay?'_

Clarke nodded. _'I'll see you then.'_

\---------------------

Clarke wasn't sure what to wear. She hadn't been on an _actual_ date in a while. When she was with Finn, they'd go to a movie, maybe have dinner, and that'd be it. They'd go to business events or outings for either of their parents when necessary and nothing would really be of that. Lexa had told her that their dinner would be casual. Nothing too fancy; just two people interested in one another and exploring what it could become. And Clarke was grateful for that. She was tired of the fancy life that she had grown up with. 

At six pm, Lexa picked her up in Aden's car. And while the drive was silent, Clarke didn't mind the silence with Lexa. Despite everything the girl had been through, Lexa radiated comfort, something that Clarke enjoyed. 

They arrived at a diner in the middle of the city; hidden away behind a busy restaurant and a shoe store that was, surprisingly, busy. But the diner wasn't; the diner seemed to be in it's own little world. Lights that seemed to flicker here or there, and seats that looked to be taken right out of an 80s musical. There was even a jukebox in the corner, but Clarke knew that Lexa didn't go there for the vintage music. But Lexa did, however, pull Clarke by the hand towards a booth near the front. 

_'How'd you find this place?'_ Clarke asked, sitting in one spot of the booth. 

_'My dad used to take me here when I was younger. He knows the owner. I-L-I-A-N actually frequents the gym.'_ Lexa explained, shrugging off her jacket. 

_'He's deaf?'_

Lexa shook her head, _'Hard of hearing. But his wife is deaf, yes.'_

Clarke nodded, glancing over the menu. _'Do you suggest anything?'_

Lexa smiled at her, pulling the menu away from Clarke. _'I got this.'_

A waitress who seemed to be in her mid-twenties came around, asking what the two of them would like to drink. Lexa ordered a tea whereas Clarke ordered a coke, but before the waitress left Lexa told her that they were ready to order their food as well. 

_'We'd like the Woods' Special. Ilian knows what is is.'_ Lexa explained, earning a curious glance from Clarke. 

_'The Woods' Special?'_

Lexa nodded, grinning. _'It's this weird dish that Ilian, my dad and I came up with one day after a class. It was born in my kitchen, and Ilian serves it here to those who know what it is.'_

 _'Are you going to tell me what's in it?'_

_'A line of bacon and scrambled eggs between two confetti pancakes topped with cream cheese icing and maple syrup.'_

_'That sounds disgusting.'_

Lexa let out a laugh, shaking her head. _'It's actually really good.'_

_'I think I'll have to be the judge of that.'_

Before Lexa could say anymore, a tall man walked over to their table, patting Lexa on the shoulder. Lexa looked up at him as he began signing. 

_'You know, when I got the order for a Woods' Special, I should've known it was you.'_ The man grinned. Lexa stood to give him a hug before sitting back down. 

_'I had to. Had to make sure this one could handle it.'_ Lexa joked, motioning towards Clarke. _'This is Clarke. Clarke, this is I-L-I-A-N. Or, Ilian.'_ Lexa explained, giving both the fingerspelling of his name as well as his name sign. 

_'Nice to meet you.'_ Clarke signed. 

_'Deaf or hard of hearing?'_ Ilian asked. _'Not to be rude, of course.'_

_'Neither, actually. I'm hearing.'_

_'Really?'_ Ilian looked impressed, _'Your signing is amazing.'_

 _'I had a set of great teachers.'_ Clarke smiled. 

_'It shows.'_ The man turned back to Lexa, addressing them both, _'I have to get back to the kitchen, but I wanted to come say hi. Tell Nyko hi for me as well.'_

_'Will do.'_ Lexa signed in response, and the man was off. 

Clarke tapped the table, getting Lexa's attention. 

_'Well, that interaction alone tells me that I don't know a whole lot about you.'_ She joked. 

_'A lot of the time we're together, we're watching movies or with other people. Not a whole lot of one-on-one time. That's why I suggested coming here, Clarke. I want to get to know you.'_

_'I want to get to know you too.'_

They talked about little things for a bit; with Clarke learning more about Lexa with each statement. She learned that Lexa didn't have a favorite photographer, much like how Clarke didn't have a favorite color, because it changed so often with every new photographer she researched. She learned that, despite it not being a deaf film, that Lexa's favorite movie franchise was actually the Saw movies purely because of how John Kramer left the choices up to the victims. And while she couldn't exactly hear, Lexa's favorite bands were those of heavy rock because she liked the beats the most. Even while they were eating, they still kept talking. 

_'Okay, who would win in a fight: Sidney Prescott, or Buffy Summers?'_ Clarke asked.

Lexa tapped her chin for a moment, thinking. _'That's a hard one. Two badass females going against each other? I don't think I can pick. But, I can definitely say that if they were to lead a feminist rally, I'd be at the front.'_

Clarke laughed, taking another bite of her pancake concontion. 

_'How do you feel about your pancakes?'_ Lexa asked, already halfway finished with her own.

_'It's definitely better than I thought it would be.'_

_'I suggested the cream cheese frosting. It really pulls it all together.'_ The brunette explained. 

_'You definitely picked a good choice.'_

They finished eating and, while Lexa insisted on paying, Clarke told her that she was going to be paying next time. With neither of them wanting the night to end they skipped going to the car; instead opting to walk around the city. It was starting to get dark; the stars already coming out, but Clarke's eyes were on Lexa as they talked. 

Eventually, Clarke knew that one particular topic had to come up. 

_'How're you feeling? After the whole... Costia business.'_

Lexa sighed, but knew that she wasn't able to ignore it. _'I'm okay. I'm doing better, at least. Sure, there's a nightmare here or there, but... I know she can't hurt me. Anymore, at least. I think I'm okay, you know?'_

 _'It's okay to not be okay, Lexa.'_

Lexa nodded, smiling softly. _'I know. But... I don't want to dwell on it. The sooner I get over it, the sooner I can move on and be a better person than before. Does that make sense?'_

Clarke nodded, looking down at their feet for a moment. _'It does.'_ She fell silent until Lexa nudged her with her elbow. 

_'What about you? Do you have any crazy ex-lovers I should know about?'_

She said it as a joke, but Clarke's mind went immediately to Finn. She scoffed lightly, knowing that he wasn't _crazy_ , but their relationship wasn't exactly traditional. 

_'Not exactly. Sure, some people would say my... old best friend, was my crazy lover, but Niylah and I were only ever friends. Finn, though... He's an ex-lover, but not crazy.'_

_'Did it end badly?'_

Clarke shrugged, _'Kind of? Not really. The relationship wasn't the best to begin with. We were together because of convenience. Children of money getting together because they feel like they have to sometimes. There were times where I even questioned why we were together. He ignored me as a girlfriend a lot of the time, sometimes only messaging me when he wanted sex. He never cheated, he wasn't like that, but he... wasn't really a good boyfriend, you know?'_ She sighed, _'He'd forget dates, wouldn't know how to act around me. He was raised professionally instead of like a family. All intimacy he knew was sex instead of romantics. We were better off as friends.'_

_'I see,'_ Lexa concluded, pausing a moment, _'Do you still talk with him?'_

_'Not really; I haven't talked to anyone from Seattle since I moved.'_

_'You seem regretful of that.'_

_'I told them I'd keep in touch and I didn't.'_

_'Sometimes those things happen, Clarke.'_ Lexa shrugged, taking Clarke's hand for a moment, squeezed it, then dropped it, _'There's only so much you can do about it.'_

Clarke changed the topic back to Lexa's interests as they made their way back to the car. She didn't want to keep talking about the people she didn't realize she was missing as much as she was. 

As they drove, Clarke told Lexa that she didn't want to go home. She wanted to keep spending time with Lexa, so the brunette took Clarke back to her house. And as they walked up to the door, Nyko and Indra were leaving for their own Valentine's Day date. They exchanged goodbyes and hellos, and before she knew it she was in Lexa's room again.

Lexa's room had changed since Clarke was last in it at Christmas. The photos strung across the walls were different; gone were the photos of Costia but not replaced. The fairy lights were changed from white to those of color, and there was different cameras on the shelves. Clarke was drawn to them, her finger trailing across the edge of the shelf as she looked at each camera. 

_'Are you interested in my cameras, Clarke?'_ Lexa asked, appearing next to Clarke. 

_'You have a lot of them.'_

_'I do, but they all have different things they do. Some are vintage, like this one,'_ Lexa pointed to one on the top shelf, _'This one is a L-E-I-C-A M-3, Double Stroke, made in 1956. I only have it for collecting purposes. Whereas this one,'_ She pointed to another one on the middle shelf, _'This one is a C-A-N-O-N 1-D-X mark 2 body. I actually won it in a contest a few years ago. It's the most expensive camera I own, but I love it to pieces.'_ Lexa carefully took the camera off the shelf and attached one of the lenses, then led Clarke over to the bed so she could place the camera down. 

_'This is the lens I got with it. It's called a C-A-N-O-N 24-70 M-M 2.8 lens. It works for... well, pretty much everything. This setup is probably my best one, and it's also the most expensive.'_

_'You know a lot about cameras.'_ Clarke gathered, crossing her legs. 

_'It's my passion. I know as much about cameras as you do about paint. I could tell you the model and make of probably any camera, but I couldn't tell you anything about what brushes go with what paint.'_

_'Point made,'_ Clarke smiled, _'What made you so passionate?'_

 _'I like seeing the world through a lens.'_ Lexa shrugged, taking a moment to bring the camera up to her eye and taking a photo of Clarke, earning a pout of protest from the blonde. Lexa stuck out her tongue. _'It gives a whole new perspective.'_

_'Like a paintbrush.'_

_'Exactly like a paintbrush.'_

_'Well, not exactly,'_ Clarke shrugged, _'With a paintbrush you have a little more control.'_

_'Do you?'_ Lexa asked, taking another photo before continuing. _'You only have as much control as you allow it. The camera body is like a paintbrush. Different sizes for different functions. The lenses are like the paint. Different types for different brushes. You know what the one thing they have in common is, though?'_

_'What?'_

Lexa smiled, _'Colors. Whether it be paint or through a lens, colors are what connect so many things. Colors are everywhere. The sky. Clothing. Nature. Eyes. But it's up to the artist, painter or photographer, to interpret it and take advantage of it.'_

_'That's a beautiful way of putting it.'_

_'And you're a beautiful thing to photograph.'_ Lexa teased, bringing up her camera to take another photo of Clarke. This time, however, Clarke was fast and as soon as Lexa took the photo, the camera was in Clarke's hands and the blonde was taking photos of Lexa. 

Lexa squealed, trying to get the camera back _without_ breaking her camera, but the effort was moot. By the time they were getting ready to lay down for bed, there were dozens upon dozens of Clarke, Lexa, and the two of them on Lexa's memory card. But as they were crawling into bed, Lexa was hesitant to turn off her fairy lights. 

_'Are you okay?'_ Clarke signed, looking over at Lexa from her spot in the brunette's bed. 

_'Yeah, I'm fine.'_

_'You don't seem fine. What's going on?'_

Lexa sighed, pushing her hair behind her ear. _'It's nothing. I'm... Remember earlier, when I said there was a nightmare or two?'_

Clarke nodded. 

_'They're... kind of frequent. It's silly.'_

_'It's not silly. Do you want to talk about it?'_ Clarke offered, sitting up.

_'I just don't understand how someone can change so dramatically in such a short period of time. I loved her, and she took advantage of it.'_

_'Sometimes... we can't help what happens. Maybe in a weird, twisted sense, it was fate. I just wish I could've stopped it sooner.'_

Lexa laid down, pulling Clarke close to her. _'It wasn't your job.'_

Clarke sighed, looking up at the brunette. _'That doesn't stop me from thinking it.'_

 _'I know you said you'd protect me Clarke, but you don't have to be a complete savior.'_ Lexa explained, running her fingers through Clarke's hair a moment. 

_'I just want to help you. To make sure you're okay.'_

Lexa smiled softly at her, placing a kiss to her hair. _'I'm okay when you're around. The nightmares aren't really intense, they just... startle me sometimes. It's okay.'_

_'Are you sure?'_

_'Of course.'_

With Lexa's reassurance, Clarke was able to fall asleep in the brunette arms, but that didn't stop her from wanting to try and be a better potential lover to Lexa than Costia ever was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo. 5k words later and this is where we're at. Hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Also, the inspiration for the "Woods' Special" came from this story by SkySmoke87; if you guys like firefighter AU's I'd give this one a shot: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12601816/chapters/28704852


	15. XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aden loses his hearing, Jake is still a douchebag, Murphy tries to be comforting, and we get some Clexa fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo. Here we go again guys. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I'm so excited to finally post it because it's been a plot that's been in mind since the beginning; long before the Costia storyline. Really excited to share it with you all. Hope you enjoy it!

**_Friday, February 23rd._ **

_'Doesn't it ever get... too quiet?'_ Clarke asked, glancing over at Lexa from her position on the brunette's roof. 

They were talking by the light of the moon. It was a warmer night towards the end of February; despite the nipping cold in the wind that blew past them. It was one of those nights where Clarke was studying with Lexa and Aden, but once Aden went to bed, Clarke still stayed. And once Lexa insisted they call it a night, she invited Clarke up to her room. It was there that Clarke discovered that Lexa's window opened up to a part of her roof where it was safe to walk on. 

Lexa shook her head; _'No... Not really. I've been in silence my whole life. It's all I've really known.'_

_'Do you ever wish you could hear?'_

Lexa shrugged, rolling over onto her side to face the blonde. _'Sometimes,'_ She signed, _'It'd be nice to listen to actual lyrics with music, or to watch a movie and focus on the emotion of a scene rather than the subtitles. Bu then I wouldn't have the community that I do. And maybe I'd of never met you.'_

_'Okay, sap.'_

_'I'm just telling the truth.'_

There were a few signs that Clarke didn't quite understand during that brief exchange, but she blamed it on the lack of light rather than her own lack of understanding. Lexa was more than happy to guide her through them. 

The brunette rolled back over on the roof, looking up at the sky. It was a rare clear night, where all the stars were visible. Even a few that Clarke wasn't able to see before she could see, thanks to the distance from downtown that Lexa's house was located. And while Clarke could hear the rustling of the branches of the trees behind Lexa's house; could hear the occasional passing car at the front of it, she couldn't help but be more curious about how Lexa could go her whole life without hearing the small sounds. 

After a beat, Clarke tapped the roof next to Lexa's arm to get the girl's attention. 

_'What would be the first thing you could do if you could hear?'_

_'You ask a lot of questions, don't you?'_ Lexa smirked. 

_'I'm just curious.'_

_'Have you ever just stopped and enjoyed the world? Look at the stars,'_ Lexa paused, motioning to the sky above them. _'They're so pretty, so amazing even from how far away we are.'_

Clarke hummed, _'Are you a fan of stars?'_

 _'Yeah, I am.'_ Lexa looked up, pointing to one of the stars, _'That band of stars is easy; it's O-R-I-O-N's belt. One that everyone knows, but,'_ She paused, scooting closer to Clarke, _'These are the rest of him.'_ She took Clarke's hand in her own and pointed it up, pointing to each star that made up Orion. 

_'And that one,'_ She moved on to the next constellation, tracing it with Clarke's finger, _'That's the C-O-N-S-T-E-L-L-A-T-I-O-N for G-E-M-I-N-I.'_ She moved the blonde's hand again, tracing another constellation. _'And that one, is P-E-R-S-E-U-S.'_ She dropped Clarke's hand for a moment, only lingering slightly. _'When you can't hear, you tend to pay more attention to things you read, or see. And I read something about A-S-T-R-O-L-O-G-Y once. I was hooked.'_

Clarke smiled at her, glancing up at the stars before looking at Lexa again. _'You don't have a star journal, do you?'_

Lexa blushed, looking back at the sky. _'So what if I do?'_

Clarke let out a laugh, then patted the roof again. _'It's okay if you do. Honestly, I don't know anything about the stars. I know the big D-I-P-P-E-R, the little D-I-P-P-E-R, and the North Star. That's about it.'_

 _'Well, may P-O-L-A-R-I-S guide you home, always.'_

_'That was the cheesiest thing  
anyone has ever said to me, I hope you know that.'_

_'I try.'_

\-----------------

_**Saturday, February 24th.** _

Clarke woke up from her spot in Lexa's bed to the voice that was, without a doubt, Aden's. His voice was muffled by the walls of Lexa's room; the steady breathing of Lexa sleeping undisturbed. But even with the muffling, she could still make out that he was calling for Indra. Curiously, Clarke slipped out of bed with a kiss to Lexa's cheek, making her way to the voice. Despite still being in the borrowed flannel PJ bottoms and t-shirt, she wanted to make sure that Aden was okay. His voice sounded like that of panic. 

Indra had beaten her to his room, however. And she told Clarke to wait downstairs; that he'd be down in a moment. But Clarke could tell by the look on Indra's face that something was wrong. 

When Indra and Aden finally joined her downstairs, Indra made herself busy by starting on breakfast. But Aden walked with Clarke to the living room, sitting her down on the couch. 

"I'm... sorry, you had to wake up like that." He apologized, looking down at his hands. She could see him signing, albeit small, as if he remembered that Clarke was able to hear. 

"It's not a problem," Clarke replied after waiting for the boy to look at her. "Is everything okay?" 

Aden only shrugged, "Kind of? Not really. I woke up and.." He pointed to his ears, "It's gone, Clarke. My hearing, I mean. I woke up and it was gone. I didn't realize it'd be so soon. I'm not being too loud, am I?"

"No."

"Okay. I can't tell anymore. If I'm too loud; too quiet. I just have to hope for the best if I keep talking." 

Clarke hated seeing her friend like this. So broken; so vulnerable. She knew him as strong, even when things got him down. Passionate, optimistic. Even so early in the morning. But this was different. It was clear that his loss of hearing was really getting to him. 

"Is it weird?" She asked. 

"Well, it was getting worse each day. I was used to the quiet. But... I used to at least hear voices. They were quiet, but they were there. And now?" He shrugged, letting out a sigh. "Nothing."

"What're you going to do?"

"What can I do? There's no fixing it, Clarke." He scoffed lightly, shaking his head. "I'm just going to have to adapt. Use my aids when I can to hear a little more vibrations."

"I'm so sorry this is happening, Aden."

The boy smiled sadly, "You can't stop the inevitable, Clarke." 

Indra brought them both a cup of coffee, but soon retreated back to the kitchen to continue with breakfast. They sat in silent for a moment, with Clarke's fingertip running over the rim of the cup in her hands. It was warm; a contrast to her cold fingers. 

"Have you talked to your dad since the incident?" Aden asked, breaking the silence.

"No. He's been doing... other business, according to my mom. Trying to fix the backlash, I guess. I try not to be home when he is. I on't know if he could ever forgive me." 

"You have to at least talk to him, Clarke. He can't be mad at you forever."

Clarke scoffed, "You clearly have never met my father." 

"Just talk to him. I'm sure it'll go well." 

The blonde looked up when Lexa entered the room, nursing her own cup of coffee. She sat down next to Clarke and leaned her head on her shoulder, just embracing the closeness. 

"I'll let you two be." Aden commented, patting Clarke on the knee before standing to help Indra in the kitchen. 

_'What were you two talking about?'_ Lexa asked after a moment, setting her cup down on the coffee table. 

Clarke set down her own cup, _'He says I should talk to my dad about what happened. Try and make amends.'_

_'Well, it doesn't sound like too bad of an idea.'_

_'You think I should talk to him, too?_

_'Yeah,'_ Lexa shrugged, _'What's the worst that could happen?'_

Clarke nodded, thinking a moment. _'I guess you're right.'_

_'I always am.'_

Clarke playfully glared at her. 

_'When is he home next?'_ Lexa asked, as if Clarke didn't even send her the look. 

_'He's supposed to be home today.'_

_'Want me to go with you?'_

Clarke shook her head, _'No, but... Keep your phone on?'_

Lexa smiled at her and squeezed Clarke's hand as she nodded, _'Of course.'_

\---------------

She had driven around for a while, wanting to forgo arriving at her house any earlier than she felt ready. It was silly; the way she was avoiding this conversation, but a few hours after she left Lexa's house, she was only just getting to her own despite it being fifteen minutes away at the least.

For once in Clarke's life, she felt foreign walking into her own house. The last time she walked into this house knowing that only her father was there, the relationship between them was completely severed. Without her mother there, and the bond they had formed even after they fought, it felt empty. The photos that lined the walls felt like distant memories as she walked through the house. She made her way slowly through the house, knowing that her father was upstairs in his study. She knew he was there, working on something to fix the damage that Clarke had done when she prevented Indra and Nyko from taking the deal. But she also knew that she wasn't in the wrong. She didn't regret it; not at all. But that didn't mean that she wasn't afraid to face her father again. 

She forewent immediately heading up the stairs, instead taking a moment to herself. It seemed that within the months she had been there her family had been through so much; such a drastic change. She had been thinking about that a lot, and couldn't help but wonder that if they stayed in Seattle, that none of this would have happened. She wouldn't have argued with her mother consistently; wouldn't have damaged her father's work. But if she hadn't have moved, she'd still be with the same friends, still be in the same private school, and still be in the same state of mind until she went off to college. 

If they hadn't have moved, she would have never met Aden. Or Raven, or Murphy.

Or Lexa. 

And they alone made Clarke glad that they had moved. 

Her fingertips danced across the wooden posts that lined the stairs as she walked up them. Talking with her father shouldn't be as bad as she was thinking, but then again, she had never seen Jake as upset as he was when he and Clarke talked that day. It seemed that things were never going to go back to the way they were before. 

Sighing, she made her way to the door of her father's study. She pressed her hand to it a moment, taking her time opening it. Her hand was on the doorknob when she heard the sounds from within. It didn't take a lot to know what was happening on the other side of the door. 

Angrily, the blonde pushed it open, seeing the back of her father's chair ( which, honestly, she was grateful for ) and seethed, eyes glaring into the ones belonging to the woman on top of her father. She recognized her; had met her a few times prior at events for her father's work. She was a carpenter; Jake would design the builds, and she would lead the building team. 

"Get out." She growled, not caring that the woman was barely clothed. She watched as the woman struggled to find her clothes and put them on, only to hurry past Clarke on her way out the door. Clarke stepped out to give her father time to dress himself. 

She stood in the living room, her eyes darting between the photos that she looked upon earlier. She walked up to one of them; it held a happy memory. One of the first trips they took together as a family. Clarke upon Jake's shoulders as they stood in front of the Grand Canyon; Abby laughing as her arms wrapped around Jake's shoulders. They looked happy. They _were_ happy. But now that was all in the past. 

She heard his footsteps before she saw him. She laughed dryly as she heard him enter the room, her eyes still on the photograph.

"You know, I came home to fix things. Or try to, at least." She commented, shaking her head. "Clearly that isn't happening." 

"Clarke--"

"Don't." She snapped, turning around to face him. "Don't you _dare_ think you can talk your way out of this. Don't you _dare_ think that things are going to be okay after this." She pointed the photo frame at him, acting as the accusatory finger. Throwing their happy past in his face. 

Jake was silent as he watched Clarke fume. 

"What made you think that was okay? Does mom even know?" 

"Of course not, Clarke. I would never--"

"Never what? Never cheat? Clearly you wouldn't. That's why I caught you in your office with your carpenter seconds away from ripping your clothes off. I can't _believe_ you right now, dad!" 

"Clarke--" 

"Stop. You can't fix this. You can't change this. You _cheated_! You _actually_ cheated on mom! As if our family couldn't get any worse!" 

Jake sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as Clarke began to pace. "Clarke, stop yelling. I can explain all of this." 

"Really? Because it looks like it explained itself. I feel like the parent right now because _every_ choice you've made since we've moved here has been childish. 'Let's wipe out an entire block of local businesses! Screw 'em, right? Gotta make room for Exodus!' And now this?" She mocked, shaking her head. "What the hell happened to make the eighteen year old the more adult person between us?" 

Jake stepped forward, attempting to calm Clarke down but Clarke shook her head again. Instead of saying anything to him, she pushed the photo frame into his chest as she walked past him. "You need to tell mom. Because if you don't, I will. And if I have to," She tsked, "Well, you definitely won't have a daughter anymore." 

And with that, she let the photo frame fall to the floor, shattering the glass as Jake stood in the living room as she walked out of the house.

\------------------

Clarke wasn't sure where she was driving to. All she remembered was getting into her car and just driving away from her house. She didn't have a plan; wasn't sure where she was staying that night. But she knew that she didn't want to go back home knowing that her father was still there. She was still fuming after their argument; anger flowing through her veins and allowing it to fuel her adrenaline. Even a half hour later she was still ready to go back and scream at her father for what he did. She just couldn't believe that everything had gone to hell within the past few weeks. 

She needed to talk to her mother. She knew that; eventually they would have to talk. But she couldn't bring herself to stop in at the hospital even after she passed it for the fifth time. It wouldn't be fair of Clarke to drop that on her mother at work. Instead, she'd wait. She'd wait until tomorrow; hopefully getting a call or text to show that Jake did, in fact, tell Abby before Clarke did. But now, Clarke wasn't sure if her father was brave enough to own up to what he's done. 

She sighed, pulling into a semi-familiar gas station. She wasn't sure what drew her to this location; when she could easily have driven to Raven's home and sat with the brunette on her day off while they ate ice cream and watched bad Netflix documentaries until Murphy got home with his usual after-work joint and joined them. She could try and relax with friends; try to forget about what happened between her and her father. But instead of going to Raven's, she found herself here. 

"Well look what the cat dragged in," Murphy smirked from behind the counter as Clarke walked into the station. "Taking a break from bangin' Lexa to visit an old friend?" 

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Fuck off, Murphy." She mumbled as she walked to the back of the station, immediately grabbing a cold drink. She thought for a moment before she grabbed the closest drink with any sort of alcohol content, then walked to the counter. 

Murphy sighed as he took in the blonde's appearance, scanning the drink but holding the alcohol in his hand. "You know I can't sell you this, right? Legally?" 

Clarke just stared at him a moment before she sighed, placing her hand on the counter. "I know. Gimme twenty on three instead?" 

Murphy nodded, tapping away at the cash register before giving Clarke her total. The blonde paid and immediately opened the drink, taking a long swig of it. 

"You know, if you wanted booze you could've just gone to my place." Murphy shrugged, leaning against the counter. "It's free, and Raven's there to keep you company." 

"I know that. I guess I was just... wanting to do something reckless." 

"Reckless, eh? So trying to get yourself arrested by buying alcohol without even a fake is considered reckless? Guess I've been doing it wrong my whole life." Murphy tapped his fingers against the counter, looking up at the blonde. "You look rough." 

Clarke glared at him and glanced outside at her car, watching as other cars passed by the station. It was already dark outside; the sun had set far faster than Clarke would have liked. It was quiet in the store, aside from the buzzing of the lights above them. The blonde couldn't help but wonder how bored Murphy must get, sitting around, waiting for customers all night. 

"I talked with my dad. Well, tried to." 

"How'd that go?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I... walked in on him fucking a carpenter." 

Murphy blew out air, shaking his head with a smirk. "Yikes, that's rough. And here I thought the Griffin Family Drama only happened when Raven and I were around." 

"Shut up." She scoffed, taking another drink. 

They stood in silence for a moment, with Murphy tapping an unfamiliar tune against the counter. It was as if he was trying to think of something to say, but couldn't. 

"Do you... I dunno, wanna talk about it or whatever?" 

"Do you actually want to listen?" 

Murphy shrugged. "It's not my strong suit. But hey, at least I tried." 

Clarke leaned on the counter, looking over at him. "I just don't know what went wrong. We were... happy, or so I thought. When we moved here it was almost like nothing changed aside from the location. And now?" She chuckled dryly, "Now it's as if I don't even know my father." 

"How long has this been happening? The cheating, I mean." 

"No idea. Didn't bother to ask him when I was shoving a family portrait in his face." 

"Look at you; turning into a badass." 

"Funny." 

"All I'm saying is, no family is perfect. Take a look at mine. Could be a lot worse, y'know?" He shrugged, turning around and grabbing a pack of cigarettes from the rack before pulling out his wallet to ring it up and pay for it, before he locked the cash register and stepped out from behind the counter. 

"Are you allowed to do that?" 

"You should know by now that I tend to do things I'm not supposed to do," He commented, "But yeah. Boss man and I are kinda close. And it's not like I'm underage." 

He led Clarke outside the store and off to the side, next to a pile of snubbed out cigarettes. There was a bucket that sat half-full of them, but it seemed like many bystanders didn't want to use it. 

"He lets me take as many smoke breaks as I want as long as I stay by the door and lock the register first. It gives me something to do while I wait for the loners and truck drivers to come in." He shrugged, holding onto the pack as he smacked it against his hand. Five times, then he flipped it, another five times, another flip, and repeated the process until he had hit the pack against his hand a total of twenty times. 

"Why do you do that?" She asked as he opened the pack. 

"It's a perfectionist thing." He crumpled up the plastic around it as he opened it, shoving it into his jacket pocket. Flipping open the top, he stepped closer to Clarke and held it open. "Close your eyes, run your finger over the top of the pack twice and stop on one." 

Clarke did as she was told, despite not knowing what for. When she opened them again, she saw that her finger was resting on the third cigarette from the left on the back row. 

"Take this pack, and flip the one that your finger landed on so it looks like this." He explained, handing her the pack and pulling out his own to show an example. His own pack seemed to only have a few cigarettes removed from it. 

Suddenly, it clicked to Clarke. "Is this mine? Murphy, I don't smoke." 

"Just flip the damn lucky, Clarke." 

"My... lucky?" 

"The cig your finger landed on. That's your lucky."

"What?" 

"Make a wish as you flip it." 

"Why?" 

Murphy sighed, pulling out one of his cigarettes and lighting it up. He took a drag before he answered her question. 

"Rumor has it, if you wish on a lucky, by the time you smoke it your wish might come true. Your lucky is the first cigarette to be pulled from the pack, and the last one to be smoked. Anyone else smokes your lucky and they'll have bad luck for a while."

Clarke wasn't sure what he was talking about, but she flipped it anyways and made a wish. 

She wished to be happy. Truly, completely happy. 

"Now take out a fuckin' cigarette and smoke with me, damn it." 

She pulled out one from the front of the pack and took the offered lighter, lighting it up. She coughed the first few times, but by the time the cigarette was a quarter of the way smoked she had gotten the hang of it and her lungs grew used to it. It may have been a placebo effect, but she was feeling a lot calmer than she did when she walked into the gas station. 

When they finished, Murphy led her back inside and bought her a lighter as well before sending her back out with a wave goodbye to pump her gas. But when Clarke left the station, she had no intentions of going back home. 

Instead, she dropped the cigarettes in her cup holder and drove to Lexa's. Because if there was anyone she truly wanted to be around in that moment, it was Lexa. While Raven's house had "girl time" and alcohol, Lexa's house had comfort and that home-y feeling she was so desperately craving. She had texted Lexa when she was outside, hoping that the brunette was home. 

_'Hey,'_ Lexa signed, letting the blonde inside. _'How'd it go?'_

Clarke sighed as she shrugged off her coat, hanging it up by the door. _'Not good.'_

Lexa only nodded and took Clarke's hand, leading her upstairs to her room. It seemed that that room was one of the few places as of late that Clarke felt safe and content. Once they were in the room, Clarke simply pulled Lexa to her and hugged her tight, allowing herself to relax. 

When Lexa pulled away, she moved them to her bed. 

_'I walked in, expecting him to be in his office. And he was, but...'_ She paused, chuckling dryly to herself. She had already explained this once. _'He was moments away from screwing one of his co-workers.'_

Lexa squeezed her hand. _'Was your mom home?'_

 _'No. She was at work. She doesn't know it was happening. I told dad that he has to tell her, or I'm going to, and if I have to he's not going to have a daughter anymore.'_

_'That was very brave of you, Clarke.'_ The brunette signed slowly, reaching up to push a strand of hair behind Clarke's ear. 

_'Can I stay here tonight?'_ Clarke asked after a moment. 

_'You know you don't have to ask that. My mom is okay with it.'_

_'I know, I just... wanted to make sure. I really don't want to go back home tonight.'_

_'I can't blame you.'_ She paused, squeezing the blonde's hand again. _'Do you want to watch a movie or something?'_

Clarke shook her head and leaned into Lexa's side, _'Can we just lay here and cuddle?'_

Lexa nodded and moved to lay down, opening her arms for Clarke to join her. While they haven't made anything official yet, it was safe to say that Lexa was already considering Clarke hers. She leaned forward slowly, pressing a gentle kiss to Clarke's forehead. 

_'You smell like cigarettes.'_ Lexa commented, her brow furrowed. 

_'Blame Murphy.'_

_'Don't we always?'_

Clarke laughed and rest her head on Lexa's chest, allowing the brunette's gentle breathing and heartbeat to lull her into a state of serenity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you guys think? Did you love it? Hate it? Let me know. 
> 
> ALSO before I forget; I've been thinking about making a tumblr for this story ; maybe I'd post little snippets of this verse that doesn't take place in the actual story. Maybe writing side pieces for alternative scenes of past chapters? Who knows. Let me know what you think about that, too!


	16. XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Jake's cheating. Abby and Clarke have a night out. Clarke calls an old friend, and plans for Spring Break are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aghhhh really not sure how to feel about this chapter. I feel like it's a little rushed in some areas and dragged out a little too much in others. Either way, here it is. Hope you enjoy!

**_Sunday, February 25th._ **

If there was one thing Clarke could never grow tired of, it was waking up next to Lexa. The way the girl's arm wrapped protectively around Clarke's waist; her face buried in the back of her neck. Just like months ago when they shared Lexa's bed for the first time, Lexa's front was pressed against her back, their bodies molded together. The brunette's fingertips dipping just slightly under Clarke's t-shirt; resting gently against the blonde's lower stomach. It was the same level of intimacy she had felt back in December, but she didn't feel guilty about it this time. In fact, she craved it. 

She turned carefully, facing Lexa as the girl remained asleep. Her lips parted ever so slightly; her breathing even. Her hair falling over her shoulder in a loose braid -- Lexa must've put it up at some point while Clarke was already asleep. A few strands of hair were escaping the braid, allowing Clarke to reach up and gently move them behind Lexa's ear. She felt like she could spend forever just laying here with Lexa, watching as the girl slept. Even if that sounded incredibly creepy. 

Clarke looked at the clock on the nightstand behind Lexa; it was still the morning. And as much as Clarke wanted to sit there and spend the day with Lexa in bed, she wanted to go home. For once in a while, she wanted to go home and see her mother. See if Jake did what Clarke had asked him to do. And if he did, she knew she had to be there for Abby. Because even if they did argue on and off, nobody deserved to go through that alone. Especially not her mother. 

Not to mention that Clarke had to finish her portfolio that was due halfway through the next month. 

She let out a breath as she let her fingertips trail down Lexa's jaw, feeling the way the girl's head moved ever so slightly when she inhaled. Lexa looked so peaceful while she slept. There wasn't the underlying stress that the brunette had at school when she didn't understand something; wasn't the joy when a photo she took came out exactly how she wanted it. Lexa was just content. 

Slowly, after a few moments, Lexa stirred. Clarke brought her hand back and watched as Lexa blinked her eyes open, seemingly confused for just a moment before reality set in and she smiled at the blue eyes looking at her. 

_'Good morning,'_ She mouthed, not wanting to move her hand from Clarke's side. And while Clarke wasn't the best at reading lips yet, she understood exactly what Lexa was meaning. It really was a good morning. 

\----------------------

Clarke stayed for a little while longer after that; allowing herself the few moments of peace before she went back home. Because no matter what happened the previous night, Clarke knew that she had to see her mother. And so after an hour she woke up, she was leaving the Woods' home and heading back to her own.

The first thing she noticed upon driving home was that her father's car was no longer in the driveway. Clarke could only hope that that meant that he grew up and told Abby, resulting in him kicking him out and not that it meant he left before telling her. Either way, Clarke couldn't stop the small pang of hurt in her heart at knowing that her father may not be around anymore. 

The door was unlocked as she walked inside, but the house was silent. It was an eerie silent; nothing compared to the silence that filled Lexa's room earlier that morning. The silence in Lexa's room was comforting; filled with adoration and comfort. But this silence was tense. Immediately her eyes went to the photos she looked upon yesterday and noticed that all the ones with Jake in the photo had been taken down, placed on the dining room table face down. And as Clarke walked into the living room, she saw her mother sitting on the couch, with her knees tucked under her and a cup of coffee -- cold, Clarke presumed -- in her hands. She looked stoic; emotionless as she stared at the broken picture frame that still sat in front of the fireplace. Clarke could feel her own heart breaking at the sight of Abby.

"Mom?" She asked carefully, walking over to the couch to take a seat. "Are..." She sighed, pausing. How was she supposed to go about this? She let her unfinished sentence hang heavy in the room as Abby shook her head. 

"He told you, didn't he?" 

"He did," Abby spoke after a moment, blowing out air as she sat up straighter. "And if I'm being honest, I'm not okay Clarke. I would appreciate it if you left me alone for a little while." 

Clarke frowned, watching as Abby stood to walk to the kitchen. She understood that her mother needed time to process, but Clarke hated seeing her like this. She didn't _want_ to leave Abby alone; nobody deserved to be alone in that moment. 

"I was thinking," Clarke began, walking after her mother. "Maybe tonight we could go out; just you and I. We could..." She paused, thinking as she leaned against the counter. Abby busied herself by loading the dishwasher. "We could get dolled up, go to an expensive restaurant, spend... _his_ money on good food and have a good time." 

It was a stretch. Abby could easily turn Clarke down, say that she wanted to spend the night in. Clarke wouldn't blame her if that was what she wanted, but a part of her wanted to go out with her mother. Wanted to get Abby's mind off of what Jake had done. 

Abby was silent as she finished loading the dishwasher, turning to look at Clarke. Her eyes wandered for a moment, landing on the photo frames on the table behind the blonde before falling back on her daughter. She sighed, shook her head, but eventually -- "Okay, we can do that. I think it'll be fun. And I really think I need to get out of this house and go someplace other than the hospital for once." 

Clarke grinned, nodding as she walked up to Abby, "It's going to be okay, mom. And we're going to have the best girls night." She pulled her mother into a hug, squeezing her once before letting go. 

Maybe this was a sign that her house was going to become home again, even if it was going to be a journey. 

\------------------------------

A few hours later had Clarke in her bedroom, curling her hair as she finished getting ready to go out with Abby. She had managed to get reservations at one of the most expensive resturants in the city, and for once, she was glad that she never gave her father back his "emergency" credit card. He had given it to her a few years back, using it as a device where her allowance would go. Jake had always told her that she were to use it for "emergencies only", but he never said a word when she'd use the card for coffee or a new pair of shoes. She tried not to use it as often anymore, only using it when she was desperate, but she felt like now was one of the perfect times to use it on something that wasn't deemed an "emergency". 

But in a way, Clarke felt like this was. 

As soon as her hair was finished she was ready to go. She met Abby downstairs, took photos for Instagram with her and even let her mother pick the music as they drove to the restaurant. It was a true girls night out; it reminded her of the times she had with Niylah where they'd go out on the town with fake ID's in hand, allowing drunk college guys buy them drinks only for them to leave before the guys could get handsy. She would just never tell her mother that part. 

At dinner, her mother ordered herself a martini. Clarke ordered a cherry Coke. And while they waited for their meal, they talked about everything and nothing in particular. Abby told Clarke that she had finally gotten the promotion she was aiming for the previous night, and she was so excited to tell her family when she got home. Clarke could tell the conversation was going to go downhill at any point and tried to change the subject, but Abby stopped her. 

"I just need to talk about it... just a little bit." Her mother explained, and Clarke only nodded. 

"I could tell something was off, a few weeks ago. Around the time you and Jake got into the argument about Exodus. He stopped being home, even when he was in town. I'd see him for maybe a few minutes before I'd leave for work. Something was definitely off, and he confirmed it last night." Abby paused, taking a drink. "We talked about it this morning. Apparently this has been happening for longer than you and I even realized. Jake told me that he and Sienna had been seeing each other before we moved." 

Clarke gasped, almost choking on her own drink. "What? He was seeing her in Seattle?" 

Abby nodded. "I guess he wanted to get away from her and requested the transfer for Exodus. But I suppose Sienna couldn't stay away." 

Abby cleared her throat, falling silent as their food was brought to them. Clarke could feel that she wanted to continue talking about it, but was straining not to. Eventually, the older woman chewed her lip and looked up at Clarke, "Well, enough about my relationships. How're yours going? Are you still seeing that Aden boy?" 

Clarke had to keep from laughing. "Mom, Aden and I were never dating. He's just my best friend." 

"Oh? Well, you two sure spend a lot of time together. Don't you go over there a lot after school?" 

"I do, but that's to study. Aden, Lexa -- his sister -- and I all study together."

"That's nice to hear." She took a few bites of her food before continuing with the conversation, "You're not dating that John boy, are you?" 

"Murphy?" This time, Clarke actually laughed. "No, mom. Murphy and I are just friends. But... I am, _kind of_ , seeing someone."

The raise in Abby's eyebrows told Clarke to continue. The blonde took a deep breath and took a long sip, trying to stall for time. This wasn't how she expected to come out to her mother. 

"I'm kind of seeing Lexa, Aden's sister. Since Valentine's Day, actually."

Clarke never knew Abby's stance on the LGBT+ community, and Clarke never had a reason to come out to Abby before then. She always had boyfriends up until that point; even if she came out to Niylah before, she never felt the need to come out to her mother. In that moment, though, Clarke was just hoping that Abby was going to accept her. 

"Are things going well?" 

Clarke released a breath that she didn't realize she was holding; this was a step in the right direction. 

"They are. She's kind, and amazing, and really into photography. I think you'd like her." 

Abby nodded, smiling at Clarke. "I'm just glad that you're happy, Clarke. That's all that matters. She does make you happy, right?"

Clarke grinned and nodded, "She really does."

"Tell me more about her?"

And Clarke spent the rest of dinner gushing about Lexa, but if you asked Abby she'd say it was one of the best nights she's had in a while. 

\--------------------------

She had messaged Lexa as soon as she got home, telling the brunette that her father was out of the house. She still didn't know where he went; didn't know if he was coming back. But what mattered was that she made things a little easier for her mother, and their relationship was almost back to where it used to be. It was like the fights and arguments didn't even happen. She also told Lexa that she had come out to her mom. 

Lexa told her she was proud of her. 

It was a weird feeling; having Lexa be proud of her. Really, Clarke wasn't sure what prompted Lexa to say that to her. She hadn't really done anything for Lexa to say that. She was just doing what she felt was right. Her mom needed someone, and Clarke wanted to be that person there for her mother. It was the same with Lexa; when Lexa needed someone Clarke wanted to be that person there. But she didn't think that was something for someone to be proud of her for. 

When Lexa fell asleep around eleven, Clarke sat awake in her studio, a half-worked on canvas in front of her. She was working with oils, a medium fairly new to her. She hadn't worked on the painting since she got her cast off. Streaks of green and whites littered the canvas, coming together in circles and dark lines. To anyone else they'd say it was finished, but to Clarke, she felt like it was missing something. It wasn't the depth, it wasn't the color. Those were right ( she had spent hours just mixing colors to get it right ). But Clarke couldn't quite figure out what was missing from the painting. 

She sighed, stepping back from the canvas. She needed to take a break; get her mind off of the stress of getting her portfolio done. She still had another painting to do after this one, all before they were due if she wanted to submit them for scholarships. It was like she had spent so much time trying to help everyone around her that she forgot that she had her own work to do. 

Brushing her hair from her face, a streak of paint was left on her forehead from her hand. It wasn't the only smudge of paint on her face; in fact, it was the fifth. She tended to get messy with her paintings. 

Soon enough she sat on her stool, scrolling idly through her Instagram. There were a few photos from celebrities, a photo of Raven holding a bottle of alcohol with the caption simply reading "fuck Sundays". She double tapped on it, then moved to her notifications. 

A familiar name made her pause. Niylah liked the photo of Clarke and Abby. 

Chewing her lip she closed Instagram, immediately going to her call log. Luckily for her, Niylah was in a timezone three hours behind her and picked up on the third ring. 

_"Clarke freakin' Griffin. I was wondering when you were going to call me."_

The blonde grinned, looking down at the discarded tubes of paint. "Yeah, sorry... Things have been a little busy over here."

_"Too busy to call your best friend, eh? I take it a little brunette has something to do with that."_

Clarke paused, furrowing her brow -- "You know about Lexa?"

_"Uh, duh. I may have done a little bit of stalking on all your new follows. At least, until Lexa's went private. Had to at least try to stay up to date in your life."_

It didn't take much to know that Lexa had made her profile private after the Costia fiasco. 

_"But tell me first hand, what's been going on in your life? C'mon, I miss you man."_

Clarke chuckled, shaking her head. "I don't know where to start. I moved here, met some new people --"

_"No one as badass as me, right?"_

"Some of them come pretty close."

_"Ouch. But do continue."_

"-- and got involved in a _little_ bit of drama." She didn't feel like it was necessary to tell Niylah the entire run down of what she's been into. The Costia drama wasn't hers to tell. She proceeded to tell Niylah of all the friends she had made; of Raven, whose personality reminded her a lot of Niylah. Of Murphy, who Clarke felt like could get along well with her friend. Of Aden, and Octavia, and Lincoln -- but most of all, Clarke told Niylah about Lexa. 

_"So you're seeing Aden's sister? Wow, sounds like that conversation was a wild one."_

"You're not wrong, but he was actually pretty okay with it. I told you he was really chill about me saying I wanted to just stay friends."

_"Yeah, but usually when a guy says that they're really kinda bitter on the inside. Remember Dax? When I told him I just wanted to be friends he didn't talk to me for a month after. Things are_ still _weird with him and that happened last year."_ Niylah explained. 

"Oh yeah, I remember. But Aden is different. And he's a really good friend. He actually helped Lexa ask me out on Valentine's Day."

_"Aw, what a cute brother move. That's pretty sweet of him."_

"He really is, but hey -- enough about me. What's going on out there?" 

Clarke could hear Niylah blow out air as she let out a laugh, _"Oh boy, let me tell you. To start off, Finn blew out his knee halfway through the football season. Had to sit out and miss all the games with scouts. Completely fucked his chances at a scholarship for football."_

The blonde's eyes went wide, "Is he okay?"

_"He is now, yeah. He's hoping to have a redemption with lacrosse, or even baseball, but who knows how well that's going to go. Then, get this -- Sterling, oh man. He tried to pull off an epic senior prank, but got caught halfway through setting it up. The Dean tried to expel him but his parents were able to talk him out of it. The boy is lucky as shit."_

Clarke couldn't help but laugh. Sterling was someone they grew up knowing; it didn't shock Clarke that he tried to do that. 

_"And then, when he was able to come back, he finished off the prank. And it'll go down in history."_

"What'd he do?"

_"The dumbass decided to release a thousand crickets into the cafeteria. Took janitors two days of us sitting on the quad during lunch to get 'em cleared out. You should've seen it; it was great, Clarke."_

They sat in silence a moment. Clarke could hear voices on the other side; she assumed Niylah was watching television, up until she heard Niylah talking directly to the person. 

"Did I interrupt something?" She asked, raising an eyebrow as if Niylah could see it. 

_"No, sorry. My girlfriend was asking me who I was talking to."_

"Hold up," Clarke started, "You have a girlfriend and didn't think to tell me?"

_"Speak for yourself, G."_ Niylah laughed, _"But hey, maybe if you decide to come out here for Spring Break you'll get to meet her. She's pretty cool; has this thing called a coclear to help her hear. She's deaf, kinda like Lexa and Aden."_

The comment about Niylah's girlfriend being deaf made Clarke wonder just how small the world was. What were the odds? "Is that an invitation?" 

_"You know it. And feel free to bring your girlfriend along, too. I'd love to meet her. I'm sure the others would love to as well. We all miss you, G."_

"I miss you guys too. And well, Lexa isn't exactly my girlfriend. Not yet, at least." 

_"What's stopping you?"_

"We're taking things slow. Not wanting to rush them or anything." Clarke explained. 

_"Don't wait too long, Clarke. Life waits for no one, so you shouldn't wait for it. And from what I can tell about from the photos, it seems like she really likes you a lot."_

They talked for a little while longer after that, with Niylah eventually saying she should start paying attention to her girlfriend and not be on the phone. But when they hung up, Clarke felt a lot better. She really did miss Niylah, and it made her think that maybe she shouldn't be waiting so long to be with Lexa. Maybe things were going to work out okay. 

She had made plans to ask Lexa out for a second date later that week, as well as bring up going to Seattle for Spring Break. 

But most of all, Niylah's words made Clarke realize what her painting was missing. Because when she saw Lexa's eyes, sure, she saw depth, color. She saw warmth and home. But above everything else, Clarke swore that that morning alone she saw love in Lexa's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was a thing. This was just a way to transition into the latter half of Clarke's school year as well as start the progression of Clarke and Abby's relationships. Hope you guys enjoyed; let me know what you think!


	17. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa date. That's really the majority of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those interested, I created a tumblr account for this story where I'll post update links as well as probably post alternate scenes / drabbles in this universe. If you wanna follow it, it's colors-au on tumblr.

_**Monday, February 26th** _

Clarke had barely slept the previous night. She had spent a few more hours after getting off the phone with Niylah working on her painting, and while she had progressed further it still wasn't finished. She had called it a night after she had fallen asleep against her palette, only to spend another hour washing the paint out of her hair and off her arm. By the time she was done she was only able to get a few hours of sleep, which was spent tossing and turning. She blamed it on her impending deadline and the fact that she had mistakenly prioritized playing parent to an almost 40-year-old man that caused her to fall back on her portfolio work. 

With a long sigh she had walked into school, her tired eyes turning up when she saw Lexa leaning against her locker. The brunette looked bored; repeatedly looking down at her phone then up, looking around her. Clarke chuckled to herself and walked a little quicker, noticing the exact moment that Lexa saw her because the girl's eyes seemed to light up. 

_'Hey,'_ Clarke signed, leaning over to press a kiss to Lexa's cheek before she opened her locker. 

_'Hey,'_ Lexa replied, _'You look like you had a rough night.'_

Pausing, Clarke looked at her, _'Is it that obvious?'_

_'Kind of, yeah.'_

The blonde sighed. _'I was up most of the night working on my portfolio. Then I called N-I-Y-L-A-H, and we spent a little while catching up.'_

_'Well that sounded like it was fun. I know you've been wanting to call her.'_

_'It was. Turns out she's got a girlfriend and didn't think to tell me.'_

Lexa just smiled at her, _'I think she had a right to keep that from you, though. You did kind of ignore her there for a while.'_

Clarke rolled her eyes and shut her locker, starting to walk in the direction of her first hour. Lexa was quick to walk alongside her. 

_'I know. I don't blame her for that. She... actually invited us to go out to Seattle for Spring Break.'_

_'Us? As in you and I?'_

_'Yeah. She wants to meet you. I think it'd be fun.'_

_'I'd have to talk to my parents.'_

Clarke nodded, but before she could sign anything in response Lexa continued. 

_'I don't think they'd have a problem with it, though.'_

The blonde smiled at her and, without thinking, reached down to take Lexa's hand. They hadn't really held hands; Clarke was always afraid to in case Lexa wanted to sign. That was one of the major differences between dating Lexa and dating someone else. It wasn't a bad thing; just something that Clarke had to program herself not to do. Instead, she was able to show her affection in other ways. She didn't hate it; not at all. And from the way Lexa's hand squeezed hers gently as they walked, it seemed like Lexa was glad that Clarke had taken the brunette's hand in her own. 

\-----------------------

The next time Clarke saw Lexa, she was waiting outside the brunette's locker right before lunch. With the weather slowly getting warmer, they had become less and less reluctant to joining Murphy and Raven outside. While the two of them seemed to be determined to use that 45 minute lunch period to smoke, Clarke and Lexa knew when to call it with the cold, and often spent time together in the library when it was too cold. But with the weather clearing up and spring just around the corner, Clarke had no doubts that they'd be joining their rebellious friends more often on the old thrift store couches. 

Clarke was able to get out of her last class before lunch just a tad bit early, but it gave her enough time to get to Lexa's locker before the brunette did. Meaning, it gave Clarke a few moments to figure out _exactly_ what she was going to say to Lexa when it came to asking the girl out on their second date. She hated to admit it, but she was nervous. She hadn't really asked someone out before. She had always been courted; always had been asked on dates. But she didn't feel it'd be fair to wait around until Lexa asked her out on a second date. 

She already had the date planned, assuming Lexa said yes. She had thought about it throughout the morning; all that was left to do was ask Lexa and set the plans in stone. 

Part of her wished she had a flower or something romantic; to give Lexa the same feeling that she had given Clarke on Valentine's Day. 

_There's always prom,_ the blonde thought, perking up when she saw Lexa approaching. 

_'Shouldn't you be on an old couch by now?'_ Lexa teased, turning to open her locker. 

Clarke waited for the locker to be open before she signed, a smile on her face, _'I wanted to walk with you. I wanted to ask you something, actually.'_

_'What is it?'_

Clarke waited again until Lexa was finished at her locker. With the locker closed, the blonde led the way towards the stadium. _'Well, I've been thinking,'_

_'Oh no,'_

_'Shush. I've been thinking, I think it's time that we go on a second date.'_

Straight to the point. Maybe _too_ straight to the point. Clarke cringed. 

_'I mean, would you like to go out with me this weekend? On a date?'_ Another cringe. Clarke really wasn't good at this. 

Lexa laughed, though, and Clarke took that as a good sign. Lexa, however, hadn't said anything in response to Clarke's proposal. They walked out the back doors of the school that led right to the stadium; the cool air of February hitting them like a brick. While it was getting warmer, the air still nipped at their skin as if it were the middle of Winter. It sent a chill down Clarke's spine and goosebumps along the both of their arms, only protected by thin sweaters. 

_'I'd think that'd be fun. What did you have in mind?'_ Lexa asked, taking a moment to run her hands along her arms. It seemed the cold was hitting her harder than it was hitting Clarke. 

_'Isn't that the best part of a date? It being a surprise?'_

_'Maybe, but surprises aren't always a good thing.'_

_'I can assure you that this one would be fun.'_

They got closer to the couch, but Aden and the others had beaten them to it. They were already engaging in a conversation that Clarke wasn't able to tell. Whatever it was, it had Aden in a fit of giggles and Murphy glaring at him. 

_'You have a lot of faith that I'll enjoy whatever you have in mind.'_ Lexa commented. 

_'Am I wrong?'_ Clarke asked. 

Lexa grinned, _'Not at all.'_

Clarke chewed her lip as they got closer, noticing how Lexa still took the moment to rub at her arms. If she had checked ahead she would've suggested they go to the library instead of joining their friends, but they were already by the couches. As Lexa moved to sit down next to the couch, Clarke excused herself for a moment and headed towards the parking lot towards her car. When she returned, she had her old faux leather jacket in hand, and before she sat down she draped it across Lexa's shoulders. Lexa leaned into the comfort, pulling the edges around her front. 

"Look at you, being all chivalrous. Why don't you do that for me?" Raven asked, nudging Murphy's shoulder. 

"Because you deserve to sit in the cold. It matches your heart." The boy grumbled, ashing out his cigarette. As Clarke sat down, he offered the blonde one from his pack. Clarke shook her head. 

_'You smoke?'_ Lexa asked, turning towards Clarke. 

_'Not really. He gave me a pack after the thing with my dad but I don't smoke from it.'_

_'Then why do you still have it?'_

Clarke wasn't really sure. The opened pack still sat in her glove box, probably going stale. But she couldn't bring herself to throw it away. She blamed it on her internal paranoia that something was bound to go wrong with her mother or something similar, causing her to fall into a panic again. It was like a small glimmer of hope. A relief if she needed it. 

_'I'm not really sure.'_ Clarke shrugged. 

The rest of lunch was spent with Raven, Murphy and Aden engaging in conversation and Clarke and Lexa seemingly in their own world. Lexa would lean into Clarke, and the blonde wrapped her arm around her. Murphy threw a pebble at Raven and Raven would shove Murphy in response, but Clarke and Lexa were too busy doodling in the dirt with a stick to notice. Murphy had commented on them, but Aden only told him to let them be. 

\-------------------------

_**Saturday, March 3rd** _

Clarke had wanted this date night to go well. And while Lexa was getting ready at her own home, Clarke was internally panicking at hers, unsure of everything she had decided on. It seemed like every time there was a semi-big event going on in her life, she ended up panicking over it. As if nothing could go well for her. 

Abby had assured Clarke that things were going to go great before she left for work. And Clarke wanted to believe her, but her own doubts were getting in her way. 

She was set to pick Lexa up at seven thirty. That was the time they decided on; and it was nearing quickly. Clarke was ready; she had gotten ready a whole hour before she wanted to leave because of her nerves. And in that moment, she was hating how nervous she got over everything. She just wanted things to go well. She wanted Lexa to enjoy what Clarke had planned, even if it was planned on almost a whim at the beginning of the week. 

She took a deep breath as she got into her car. Things had to go well, right? How could they go wrong? 

The drive to Lexa's house was quicker than she anticipated. And soon enough she was at the brunette's doorstep to pick her up, saying goodbye to Indra as they made their way back to Clarke's car. 

_'So do I get to know where we're going yet?'_ Lexa asked, lightening the heavy mood Clarke had set for herself. 

Things were going to go well. 

_'Not yet. Soon, though.'_ Clarke smiled, turning on the car and driving off into town. It was getting dark, and too soon was it was dark enough for conversation between them. Instead of trying to communicate, though, Lexa simply reached over and took Clarke's hand in her own. They may not be able to communicate with words, but that simple gesture was all Clarke needed for reassurance that it was going to be okay. 

They got to the first destination within a half hour. It was on the outskirts of town; a decent drive from Lexa's house but Clarke felt like it was worth it. They pulled up outside the planetarium, it's flourescent sign telling them that it was closed. Clarke smiled to herself; knowing that she was the reason behind it's closure for the night.

_'You brought me to a planetarium?'_ Lexa asked after she turned on the light in the car. 

_'Yeah.. Is that okay? I'm sure we could find something else if it's not --'_

_'No, Clarke, it's perfect. I've actually never attended one.'_

_'Really?'_

Lexa nodded. _'We've always been too busy. And when it comes to my birthday, it usually comes down to doing something fun or a new camera piece. I think you can figure out which one I usually pick.'_ The brunette explained. Clarke took her hand and squeezed it. 

_'I'm glad I get to be the one to experience this with you.'_ She smiled. _'Come on. I gotta get something out of the trunk, but then we can head inside.'_

Minutes later, Clarke was leading them inside with a small basket in hand. It didn't take long for Lexa to put the pieces together and realize that they were going to be having dinner in the planetarium. They walked inside, and before the worker could tell them that they were closed, Clarke spoke. 

"Hello, I'm Clarke. I called earlier this week for a reservation?" She told him, earning a nod. He led them inside, allowing them to sit wherever. Lexa chose to sit closest to the middle. 

_'You want to tell me what's going on?'_ Lexa asked as Clarke sat down next to her. 

_'I looked online and it's usually really busy on Saturdays. I wanted this to be a special date, though, so I called ahead and managed to rent out the room. They usually do it for school events and stuff. And I may have had to bribe them a little to let me bring food in.'_ Clarke shrugged. She felt a little guilty for having to use her father's money again, but she was in the process of looking for a job. Abby had assured her that it was okay, despite Clarke wanting to find something cheaper to do. Clarke knew that Lexa was worth it. 

Minutes later the lights were off and the two of them were left to eat by the light of the stars. They provided enough light that, when Lexa went to tell Clarke about each constellation, Clarke was able to understand what Lexa was saying. And while the blonde payed attention to each description of the stars, she kept getting distracted by the way Lexa's eyes lit up. They lit up the same way they did when Lexa would talk about her cameras, or when Aden would talk about his art or music. It was a look of passion, a look of love. Something that Clarke could never get tired of seeing in Lexa's eyes. 

They finished their picnic early on. The rest of the time was spent with Lexa pointing out constellations the way she had before, guiding Clarke's hand along the stars and telling her what they all mean. 

_'This one,'_ Lexa started, using Clarke's finger to trace it, _'Is called C-A-N-I-S M-A-J-O-R, aka "Bigger Dog". See how it's following O-R-I-O-N?'_ She asked, getting Clarke's attention. 

_'It holds a pretty neat story in M-Y-T-H-O-L-O-G-Y,'_ The brunette continued, _'It's associated with L-A-E-L-A-P-S, aka the fastest dog in the world. It's destined to catch anything it sets it's eyes to. Z-E-U-S gave L-A-E-L-A-P-S to E-U-R-O-P-A as a present, along with a javelin, to hunt. Her husband took L-A-E-L-A-P-S to B-O-E-O-T-I-A to hunt a problematic fox, but the fox was as fast as L-A-E-L-A-P-S. It ended up being a never ending race, with the dog chasing the fox. Eventually, Z-E-U-S ended it by turning them both to stone. That's how L-A-E-L-A-P-S became a constellation in the sky. And at the mouth, do you see that star there?'_

Clarke nodded, fascinated by the way Lexa talked of the constellation. 

_'That's S-I-R-I-U-S, the brighest star in the sky.'_

The blonde furrowed her brow a moment, _'Like S-I-R-I-U-S B-L-A-C-K? The dog A-N-I-M-A-G-U-S from H-A-R-R-Y P-O-T-T-E-R?'_

Lexa let out a laugh, but nodded. _'Yes, like that. But I do believe the star came first.'_

_'Maybe that's where she got his name from.'_

Lexa laughed again, moving to rest her head on Clarke's shoulder. They sat there for what felt like hours, with Lexa informing Clarke of more constellations and Clarke listening intently of what each one represents. It amazed Clarke, how much information Lexa knew about the stars. She wished that she had something that she was that passionate about that wasn't art. But maybe she just hadn't found it yet. 

After a while, the worker informed them that they were closing up for the night. Reluctantly, the couple packed up their things and headed out to Clarke's car. Neither of them wanted the night to end, but knew that it had to happen eventually. But as Clarke drove Lexa home, the brunette held Clarke's hand the entire way. 

As she pulled up to Lexa's house, Clarke wanted nothing more than to go inside and spend the night with Lexa. To fall asleep in her arms again; to keep talking with the girl and learning new things like she seemed to do every time she hung out with Lexa. But she knew that she couldn't; Lexa had work the following morning and needed to sleep. But that didn't stop Clarke from walking Lexa up to her doorstep for an official goodnight. 

_'I had a really good time tonight, Clarke,'_ Lexa began as they stood outside her front door. It was then that Clarke realized that Lexa was still wearing her jacket. Clarke didn't mind; it looked good on her. _'It was one of the most thoughtful dates I've been on in a while.'_

Clarke smiled, looking down at the ground. _'It was my pleasure. I had a lot of fun, too. Who knew that stars were so interesting?'_

Lexa laughed, and Clarke swore it was a sound that she'd never get tired of hearing. _'Costia didn't like hearing about them. She always said they were too boring to her.'_ Green eyes fell to the ground and Clarke frowned, waving to get Lexa's attention. 

_'Hey, I'm not Costia, okay?'_ Clarke signed carefully, _'I like learning about the stars, and your cameras, and anything else you enjoy. Because I like spending time with you, Lexa. And I want to learn everything about you. Every little thing you like, every constellation that you find interesting. Every detail about your favorite camera. I... want know more about you.'_ It was like she had word vomit; suddenly she was rambling on. _'I want to know your favorite meal, your favorite --"_

Lexa's lips were on hers. 

It took Clarke a moment to understand what was happening. But as soon as she did, she found her lips moving against Lexa's in such a soft, gentle tandem that it didn't matter that they were still on Lexa's front porch; she didn't want it to stop. She didn't want it to stop because _finally_ she was kissing Lexa again and _finally_ there wasn't any repercussions attached to it. _Finally_ she could kiss Lexa without consequence. 

Her arms draped themselves around Lexa's shoulders as she pulled the brunette closer; her hand tangling in Lexa's hair. Their lips moved together, with Lexa's hands coming to rest on the small of Clarke's back. Then Lexa's lips were parting, and their tongues were dancing and Clarke felt light-headed.

But all too soon, Lexa was pulling away with a nip to Clarke's bottom lip. 

Breathless, Clarke looked at the brunette, who only smirked. 

_'I didn't want to get you too worked up when I can't do anything about it tonight.'_

Clarke couldn't help but chuckle. 

_'I...'_ She paused, licking her lips. She could still feel Lexa's lips against her own. _'Will you be my girlfriend?'_

Lexa smiled, but nodded. _'I'd love to.'_

_'I know I should've asked in a nicer way, like at the planetarium or something, but I just can't wait any longer --'_

_'Clarke, I already said yes.'_

_'-- because I'm tired of waiting, I just want to be yours and --'_

_'Clarke.'_

_'-- and I know at this point I'm basically already yours, but I want things to be official and I want to be able to kiss you in the hallway and hold your hand and just be yours with you being mine --'_

Shaking her head, the brunette just pulled Clarke to her again, pressing her lips to Clarke's. Another gentle kiss that moved for a moment, turning into small pecks. 

_'Clarke, I would love to be your girlfriend.'_

Clarke grinned, _'Really?'_

Lexa nodded, her toothy grin matching Clarke's, _'Really.'_

And Clarke kissed her again. And again, and again, up until Nyko knocked on the window signaling that it was time for Clarke to go. But Clarke didn't care; she kissed Lexa one more time before she reluctantly left the Woods' house. And the entire time, the smile couldn't be wiped from Clarke's face.

\--------

Abby was awake and home when she got home. She was reading a book in the living room, nursing a glass of wine as she sat in the chair. The television was on in the background, a television movie providing ambiance. Clarke didn't question it. 

"How was your date?" She asked, setting down her book. She removed her glasses from her face as Clarke walked in, taking a seat on the couch across from where Abby sat. 

"It was... it was great, mom. We had fun."

"It looks like it. I'm glad you had fun, though."

Silence fell over them. It was a little awkward; with Clarke grinning like a fool and Abby _knowing_ what caused it, despite it being unsaid. Clarke was moments away from excusing herself to her room when Abby spoke up again. 

"I... Know I haven't been the best mother, Clarke. And while I don't..." She paused, sighing, "And while I don't fully understand you liking girls -- don't look at me like that, you've never shown an interest in it before -- I'm willing to learn. Because if there's one thing I've always wanted it's for you to feel safe and loved in this home. It happened when you wanted to pursue art; when you wanted to stop taking piano lessons. I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. And I know it was hard when we moved, and we kept arguing. But I want to change that. And I want to learn what this means to you and treat it like I do your art. Not as a lost cause or a phase; as something that's a part of you. Something that deserves to be celebrated. Because while it's new to me, and just because I'm not used to it yet, doesn't mean that it's not okay. I want to fix our relationship, Clarke." The woman finished, swallowing as she looked down at her hands. 

The silence continued for a moment, but this time it was comfortable. Clarke wasn't sure what to say. She had never expected her mother to say that to her; to be so honest and vulnerable with her. But instead of saying anything, Clarke only stood and walked over to her, giving her a hug. 

"Okay. It's okay, mom. I want to fix our relationship, too." 

"I also feel like it'd be best if we have the Woods' over for dinner one night. Just so I can get to know Lexa's family." 

Clarke nodded as she sat back down. "I think that'd be nice. I should probably warn you, though... Lexa, and most of her family, is deaf, mom. Her mom -- Indra -- is hearing, but they'll probably need her and I to interpret. But when they do come over, don't treat them like they have a disability. Don't talk too fast, or too slow, y'know?"

"That's okay, sweetie. Anything that makes them comfortable."

Clarke smiled, nodding. She stood, ready to walk upstairs, but stopped at the threshold of the living room. She turned, "I love you, mom." 

Abby looked up at Clarke, smiling. "I love you too, Clarke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have one word to reflect on this chapter: Finally. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.


	18. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty Clexa heavy. Clarke finishes a painting, and the Woods’ have dinner at the Griffin household. Also, some much-needed Lexa POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get on with this chapter, I wanted to say something that I hope you guys don’t mind reading. 
> 
> Two years ago this month, we lost Lexa. I remember exactly what I was doing when I watched that episode; the happiness, the excitement of watching two strong, powerful women finally getting their chance at love only for it to be ripped from them a moment later. I remember the heartbreak I felt; the betrayal I felt. And I’m certain I’m not the only one who can say that losing Lexa sent me into a small fit of depression. To me, Lexa wasn’t just a character. She was a role model; someone I could look up to as I began adulthood. She was a leader; strong and powerful yet feminine and vulnerable. She loved and lost, and loved again. But above all else she was a woman; something I had rarely seen as a character of leadership. And losing her, well, it hit me harder than I’d like to admit. To this day I still have not been able to watch past the bedroom scene in 3x07.
> 
> So I began writing. I took my feelings of heartbreak and betrayal and put it into stories; retellings of Lexa and Clarke falling in love. And I fell in love with writing their stories over and over again. And somehow, along the way, you guys found me. And lately it feels like I finally have a temporary purpose; writing silly little fanfictions about fictional females that inspire me every day.
> 
> So I wanted to say thank you. To you guys; the readers, who continue to support me through kind comments and criticism that further better my abilities as a writer; on this story as well as my others. Writing for you guys has helped me battle this depression that I fell into after losing Lexa.
> 
> Lexa may be gone, but she is long from forgotten. I like to envision her, Anya and Lincoln together; making fun of Skaikru and laughing and having a good time. And while she is no longer physically with Clarke, her spirit lives on with her and all of us. And I’m honored to be one of many retelling the different versions of Clarke and Lexa finding each other. 
> 
> May we meet again, Commander Lexa. 
> 
> ( and fuck you, J-Rottinhell. I’m still bitter. )
> 
> Let’s get on with the show. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I’m not certain how I feel about it; it was pretty hard for me to write because of a small vat of writers block.

**_Wednesday, March 7th._ **

She had finally felt like she had gotten it right. The shape, the color, the emotion hidden behind green irises that seemed to go on forever. Her paintbrush dragged across the canvas, putting the few finishing touches on what would soon become one of her favorite paintings to date. Maybe she was biased, though. 

As Clarke pulled her paintbrush from the canvas, looking over the newly finished abstract painting, a realization came to her. She had spent so much time elsewhere; too much time focusing on other things that she had forgotten she had two other paintings to finish by halfway through this month. Portfolios were due soon; they had to be her best work in order to be looked at by scouts and photographed to be sent to others. She let out a shaky breath, setting the paintbrush on her palette as she stepped back. She wanted to panic; wanted to let out all this stress through a fully fledged breakdown over her lack of abilities, but that was the last thing she needed. With spring break less than a week away, she had no choice but to continue working. For once, time was not on her side. 

So she got to work, using the incandescent light from her ceiling lamp and the setting sun as guidance as her pencil moved across her sketchbook. But once again, nothing felt right. They weren’t personal enough; didn’t feel like they matched the intimacy of the rest of her portfolio. Paintings that represented parts of her as she merged into adulthood; works of art that showcased her passions. Some could work as solo pieces, but she wanted at least _some_ of the collection that would dictate her future to be cohesive. 

Hours passed and by the time Clarke checked her phone for the first time since she began painting, there were dozens of missed texts from Lexa, Aden, and one from Raven, who was asking why she had been ignoring her other friends. A pant of guilt washed over her; she felt bad for accidentally ignoring them but she was lost in her work. It felt like it had been ages since she had been able to do such a thing. 

She sent them all a text, letting them know she was okay and that she was painting. She had received a few texts in response, but none were from Lexa. A glance at the time on her phone told her that the brunette was asleep, but that didn’t stop the small paranoid feeling from emerging inside her. 

——————

_**Saturday, March 10th.** _

It was the night that the Woods’ were coming over for dinner and Clarke was feeling optimistic. Clarke and Abby’s relationship had taken a turn for the better; in fact it was the best it had been since they moved. It seemed like the abandonment of Jake did more good for their family than bad. But maybe that was Abby coming to her senses. Either way, Clarke wasn’t complaining. 

She had offered to help her mother with dinner, but Abby insisted that she could handle it, leaving Clarke to idly sit at the kitchen island doodling. She listened to the way her mother sung under her breath alongside the boiling bubbles of pasta and the soft sizzle of sauce being pre-heated; a ritual of Abby as she made lasagna. Clarke was just happy that Abby had made sure to have this night off. 

It wasn’t long before the kitchen was filled with Italian-esque smells; something that comforted Clarke. The Woods’ were set to arrive at any minute, and despite the excitement the blonde felt, she couldn’t help but be nervous. She had confidence that Abby would get along with Lexa’s family, but part of her was afraid of the clear language barrier. It wasn’t that she didn’t think they’d be able to converse, but she also didn’t want to put so much pressure on Aden, Indra and herself. Maybe things would go easier than expected. Maybe her mother wouldn’t make a fool of herself. 

She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock on the front door. She had made a move to answer it, but Abby held out her hand, stopping her. But Clarke still followed, leaning against the threshold that went into the hallway where the front door was located. Abby opened the door and—

 _’Hello, my name is...’_ She paused for a moment, tentatively signing the next, _’A-B-B-Y. Welcome to my home.’_

And Clarke was proud. Because Clarke didn’t ask her to learn that— Abby did it all on her own. Her mother took Clarke’s warning of the Woods’ being a mostly deaf family as an opportunity and taught herself something that would help form a relationship. 

“They’re not vampires mom; a simple “come in” would work.” The blonde chuckled, greeting her girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek when the Woods’ walked in. 

“It doesn’t hurt to be polite.” 

Clarke shook her head and turned towards the other parents, “It’s nice to see you again, Indra. Nyko.” 

She could see her mom signing the words to herself out of the corner of her eye. 

“You as well, Clarke. It’s just going to be us three this weekend, though. Aden has a date tonight.” Indra explained. 

“Who with?”

“He didn’t say.” 

Clarke hummed. She’d have to pester him about that later. 

“Dinner will be ready soon; Clarke can show you to the dining room.” Abby suggested, making her way back into the kitchen. Clarke nodded, however, and did exactly that. 

As the Woods’ sat down, Clarke noticed the extra plate that was originally reserved for Aden. Clarke assumed that her mother would choose to sit across from her, next to where Nyko had taken his seat. It was a little odd; the extra plate was set on the end of the table. Clarke found it ironic; it was the same spot where her father would sit during their dinners. She was quick to remove the plate and take it back into the kitchen. 

She returned with a plate of food in her hand and set it in the middle; it seemed that Abby was looking to impress the Woods’. But Clarke couldn’t blame her. It didn’t take a genius to know that Abby had been lonely since Jake left; she needed friends. Clarke just hoped that her mother could get along with her girlfriend’s family. 

As dinner began, it was silent. A little too silent for Clarke’s liking. All she could hear was the soft clang of metal silverware against porcelain plates and all she could feel was Lexa’s hand that rested on her thigh. She could tell that Lexa was nervous; hell, with neither of their parents talking, Clarke was nervous too. She took a moment to clear her throat before she attempted to begin a conversation, setting her fork down so she could sign freely. 

“So... A friend of mine invited me to Seattle for spring break.” She paused, chewing her lip and waiting for someone to respond. 

“Well that’s lovely to hear; what friend?” Abby asked. 

“Niylah. I called her the other night and she suggested I come visit. I felt it’d be fair considering I hadn’t called since we left.” 

“I think that’d be a great idea. Lexa, what are your plans for spring break?” Abby had turned to Lexa, and while both Clarke and Lexa were interpreting on either side of her, she could easily read the older brunettes lips. 

_’Actually, Clarke invited me to go with her.’_

Nyko’s eyes were the first to widen— _’To Seattle? Isn’t that expensive?’_

Abby looked to Clarke— “What’s he saying?”

“I invited Lexa to go to Seattle with me; he’s worried about expenses.” Clarke explained, turning towards Nyko with her hands signing along, “Sir, I’d be more than willing to cover Lexa’s ticket and everything. I’ve met some of the most important people in Lexa’s life, and I feel it’d be great for her to meet mine.” 

_’Not to mention the amazing shots I’ll get— please dad?’_ Lexa asked, all but protruding her bottom lip. 

Nyko looked to Indra, who gave him a pensive look in response. “If she wants to go, why not let her? As long as they’re safe and check in, I don’t see a problem.” She responded. 

Nyko sighed, but eventually gave in. _’Alright. But we have to set some ground rules.’_

Lexa couldn’t help the small dance of happiness. 

Meanwhile, Abby was confused. She had taught herself simple sign, but this was confusing for her. “What’s happening?” 

“Nyko said yes to Lexa going with Clarke.” Indra filled her in. “But we have to establish a few rules.” 

“Oh yes— I wholeheartedly agree.” 

As the parents continued on, discussing rules for the trip, Clarke knew she should’ve been paying attention. But she was too busy thinking about being able to show Lexa the world Clarke used to live in— all the places she frequented growing up just like Lexa had shown her the diner. She couldn’t wait to show Lexa the places that meant a lot to Clarke, and meet some of the people that formed Clarke into who she was. Not to mention that she was excited to spend an entire week with Lexa alone. 

“Clarke?” 

The blonde looked up, only to see that the rest of the tables’ occupants were looking at her. 

“Uh...”

 _’They were talking about the rules, but you kind of zoned out...’_ Lexa explained, a small smile on her face. 

“We only have two major rules that we’d like you to follow, seeing as that you’re both adults now. We’re going to set up a group chat for the five of us, and we’re asking you guys to check in at least once a day. The second rule is a budget— Clarke, since your birthday is that week I figured it could be a little higher than usual for the shopping portion. That way you both can learn a little more money management. The budget will be split into three— food, transportation, and spending money. The third can be spent however you two please, aside from alcohol. I trust that Lexa is responsible but I know my daughter, as well as the other students from Fox. Try to stay away from the parties, honey.” 

Clarke blushed at her mothers words, remembering the small handful of times she had been noticeably hungover at breakfast the morning after a party. She should’ve known her mother never believed her when she said she had food poisoning. There was a reason why she had earned the nickname “Party Girl Griffin” at Fox Academy. 

“I’m sure Lexa would have no problem keeping Clarke out of trouble.” 

The blush only grew down the blondes neck as the adults laughed at the comment. 

——————

 _’Where’re you taking me?’_ Lexa asked as Clarke led her up the stairs. 

_’You’ll see. I want to show you something.’_

Lexa shook her head with a smile, following the blonde up the stairs. It felt like it had been forever since she walked up these stairs that soon led to Clarke’s room; the last time being when she was hiding from Costia. All of that felt like years ago when it was only a matter of weeks. It didn’t take a lot to notice the subtle changes in the house since Jake had left. The photos were changed— those with Jake replaced with those of Clarke or Clarke and Abby together. The framed drawing of various buildings that sat at the top of the stairs was replaced by a canvas that Lexa didn’t need to guess to know was the work of Clarke; a painting of a tree overlooking the Seattle skyline. The date on the bottom corner was enough to tell Lexa that it was an old painting from years ago. 

As Clarke led her down the hallway, Lexa’s eyes couldn’t help but linger on the unopened door; the one that looked as if it hadn’t been opened in a while. She noticed the dust collecting on the doorknob; the lack of indentation on the carpet to show that anyone had lingered in front of that door for a while. While she was staying with Clarke, the blonde had mentioned it to be her father’s study; the place where he would work on designs for Jaha. Lexa couldn’t help but wonder what memories had been made in that room, and what memories Clarke held from the study in Seattle. 

Lexa imagined a little Clarke, doodling in the corner of the study while Jake worked on designs. She had no doubt that Clarke took after her father, and couldn’t help but wish she had met the man that Clarke knew as a child instead of the man who betrayed his family. She didn’t blame Clarke for reacting the way she did; Lexa would’ve done the same thing if Nyko had betrayed Indra. 

She made a mental note to never be that kind of parent to her kids; whether they be with Clarke or not. 

That was a new thought. They had only been together officially for a short amount of time, but there wasn’t a doubt in Lexa’s mind that Clarke was someone she could see herself being with for a while. In the time that Lexa knew her, Clarke had proved to be everything that Costia wasn’t. Caring; kind. Loving and compassionate. Thinking of others instead of focusing on herself. 

Doing what she could to better a situation instead of abandoning it and leaving it to fate. 

And despite only knowing her for a few months, there was no doubt in Lexa’s mind that she was falling for Clarke Griffin. 

It was only a matter of knowing when to tell her. 

A tap on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts and she turned, seeing those blue eyes that had just invaded her mind, _’You alright?’_

Lexa smiled, _’Yeah, just a little lost in thought. What did you want to show me?’_

Clarke grinned and took Lexa’s hand, pulling the brunette further down the hall to the room Lexa knew was Clarke’s studio. 

———————

_’So? What do you think?’_

Lexa looked over the paining, taking it in. It was evident what Clarke’s muse had been since she was able to paint again; she recognized her own eyes among the colors surrounding it. She was impressed; wanting nothing more than to run her fingers along the canvas and take in the different textures. As she went to do so, Clarke put her hand up, drawing her attention. 

_’It’s O-I-L. Takes forever to dry— it can’t even be V-A-R-N-I-S-H-E-D for a year.’_

Lexa looked at her a moment, _’So you can’t even touch it?’_

Clarke blushed but nodded, _’You can, but... please be careful.’_

Lexa nodded and carefully allowed her fingertips to trail along the canvas, taking in the small bumps where layers had been applied. Colors that Lexa couldn’t even imagine going together were mixed and spread around, making new shades that were very appealing to Lexa. It warmed Lexa’s heart to see that Clarke had spent so much time on a single painting— a painting that captured Lexa’s eyes almost like a photograph. All that was missing was the glossy finish. 

_’It’s... beautiful, Clarke.’_ Lexa finally stated, looking at the blonde. _’I just have one question, though.’_

Clarke tilted her head, _’What is it?’_

_’Why me?’_

As Lexa turned fully towards Clarke, her girlfriend stepped forward and placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder. It was such a simple gesture, but Lexa knew that it was a loving one. Clarke looked at her, and Lexa felt like Clarke was looking at the world. A simple gaze that held so much emotion, and Lexa wondered if she was the first that Clarke had looked at like that. 

_’You’re... inspiring to me, Lexa. You’ve been through so much, been given a life that...’_ Clarke paused; it was clear she was trying to think of a sign but came up moot. _’S-O-C-I-E-T-Y doesn’t think is good. You’re strong, empowering, don’t let others knock you down and when they do, you get right back up. It’s... admirable.’_

Lexa wasn’t sure how to feel. For so long, all Lexa knew was what was right in front of her. She knew her house; knew her few friends at Arkadia and Polis. She knew her family; knew Costia. And while the views of her family and Costia didn’t always match up, it was what Lexa knew. She didn’t interact with many people who didn’t sign before, because signing and reading lips was all she knew. She had been in a bubble; one that consisted only of those she allowed in. And then Clarke Griffin stumbled into her life thanks to an art project with Aden, and it was like her world was flipped. 

In such a short amount of time, Clarke had showed Lexa what it was like outside of her bubble. And while it was overwhelming, it was also exhilarating. 

_’I don’t know what to say.’_ Lexa eventually signed, her eyes falling to the floor. She felt on the spot. 

Clarke carefully lifted her chin, meeting Lexa’s eyes before she signed again. _’You don’t have to say anything, Lex. You... mean a lot to me, and well...’_ She paused, motioning to the painting. _’This is how I show it.’_

Lexa hummed, a small, non-committal noise that still showed her appreciation. She knew Clarke meant well, it was just that Lexa wasn’t used to this form of affection. Costia always had to have control; she was always in charge. And while Lexa was smitten, blinded by the good parts of the relationship, none of them matched up to the way Clarke had been treating her in the span of their two dates. She looked over at the painting again, thinking about how long it must’ve took. How many long nights had Clarke spent in this studio, mixing colors and applying them to the canvas? How often did Clarke repaint areas to get them just right? It boggled her mind. 

_’What’re you thinking about?’_ Clarke asked after waving her hand. 

_’I just can’t believe you spent so much time on a painting of me.’_

Clarke smiled softly, _’I don’t mind it, you know. You’re quite a sight to look at.’_

Lexa could feel the blush creeping up her neck as she playfully shoved Clarke. _’You’re just saying that.’_

_’No, I mean it. I really like looking at you. I could spend hours taking in your beauty.’_ Clarke grinned, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist. 

_’You’re so cheesy,’_ The brunette signed, leaning forward to press a soft, loving kiss against Clarke’s lips. A simple exchange between two lovers, a push and pull of their lips. It was over faster than Lexa would’ve liked. 

_’What is it for, anyways?’_ Lexa asked as Clarke pulled away. 

_’My portfolio. Aden actually suggested it.’_

_’I do like it... Am I your theme?’_ Lexa teased. 

_’Not fully, but... I was thinking, maybe using our relationship for my last few pieces. It’s pretty special to me and it could help express a part of me to scouts.’_

Lexa nodded, looking at the painting then back at Clarke. _‘I think that could be a good idea. But keep the abstract— it looks good.’_

Clarke repeated the sign with a confused look, _’What is that the sign for?’_

Lexa smiles softly, _’A-B-S-T-R-A-C-T.’_

Clarke repeated the sign again, nodding with a smile. _’Abstract. I’ll have to remember that.’_

Lexa let out a soft sigh and placed another kiss to Clarke’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed. I know I took a break there for a bit but I fully intend on finishing this story. We’ve still got a ways to go. Next up: spring break! As always, let me know what you guys think.


	19. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of Spring Break 2018. Clarke turns in her portfolio, we learn a little bit more about Lexa, and an old friend of Clarke's makes their second appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I'm pretty excited about this chapter. I've loved reading your guys' responses towards my writing and I love taking it all into consideration. This being said, I have changed the last chapter a little bit. I wanted to test the waters with Lexa a little bit, and given the feedback I got before I changed the story it got me thinking that what I had originally put didn't make much sense. It wasn't a major change; no need to go back and re-read everything, but I'm letting you all know in case any confusion occurs.
> 
> On another note, I've been doing as much research as I possibly can on Deaf culture, but as anyone may know research never lives up to the actuality. You can only do so much of it and even then it may never be enough. That being said, if any of my readers are a part of Deaf culture ( or know some stuff about it that research may not provide ), feel free to tell me about your experiences and what it means to you over on the fanfiction's tumblr page: colors-au. Anything can definitely help me understand it more, and in turn will help the story be more accurate. Or, even if you just want to chat about the story you can find me over there! 
> 
> There's a few parallels in this chapter to the first one; personally that's one of my favorite parts of the chapter. And just a forewarning, at the end of the chapter there's a quick snap between Lexa and Clarke's point of view because of a dialogue thing.
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

_**Friday, March 16th.** _

It felt like she had held her breath the entire length of her last class. Marcus seemed to have droned on about the small homework for Spring Break-- a simple sketchbook assignment, "something to keep your minds working" as he put it-- but Clarke's thoughts were elsewhere. She had spent night after night up in her studio, running on coffee ( that Lexa would, more often than not, bring to her along with takeout when Clarke inevitably forgot to eat ) and determination to finish the last few pieces of her portfolio. She had managed to put the finishing touches on both of her pieces last night, and she was lucky to have finished at a time to let them at least touch-dry before she had to turn them in that day. Aside from the final bell, turning in her portfolio was the last barrier between school and a relaxing week with Lexa in her home city. 

She had told her friends about her and Lexa's spring break plans that day at lunch when Raven had brought up a party at Mountain U that weekend. When Clarke dropped the bomb, Raven had called her a "party pooper", Aden had feigned hurt that he hadn't been told sooner and Murphy's response was simple: he threw his pack of cigarettes at Clarke and told her to not come back a hipster. When Clarke had protested saying that she had grown up in Seattle and still _wasn't_ a hipster, he had only grumbled, saying she was "hipster enough". 

As much as she loved her friends, she was missing her old ones, too. 

Marcus was quick to wrap up the run-down of the assignment, leaving the last fifteen minutes of class for everyone to talk amongst themselves. Instead of chatting idly with her table about her plans, she and Aden packed up their stack of canvases and took them to the back of the room where Marcus' desk was located. 

The man looked at the stacks then back at the students, nodding his head. "I'm impressed. I thought you guys would need a little more time."

"We told you we'd have them in early; you should know that we don't fall back on our word." Aden explained, a proud look on his face. It was clear that he had taken this seriously, but Clarke had a feeling that he knew the extra work was worth it because it meant that Lexa was okay, now. 

"I can see that," Marcus grinned, folding his hands on top of the papers he was going through. He thought for a moment before he pulled out a stack of passes and wrote out two of them, handing them to both Aden and Clarke. "Take these and you guys can head out early. I trust that you'll both do your homework for this week, yes?" He asked, and Clarke and Aden eagerly nodded. It didn't take long for them to say their goodbyes and walk out of the classroom. 

"I'm going to go get some stuff from my locker, but I'll meet you at your car, yeah?" Aden told her, allowing Clarke to sign back a simple 'Okay' before he walked off. 

Since she didn't need anything from her own locker, Clarke started making her way to Lexa's classroom. She wanted to walk Lexa to her car, but in reality she was just really excited to see her girlfriend again. She was excited to go back to Seattle for a week; excited to show Lexa where she came from. And really, she didn't realize how much she missed the Emerald City until she was hours away from going back. She missed the lights at night; missed the bustling streets and watching as tourists obliviously made their way in the wrong direction. Niylah used to make a game out of purposely directing tourists wrongly; Clarke never participated but it always brought out a laugh. 

Speaking of Niylah-- Clarke's phone was ringing. 

_"Clarke! Good, you answered."_

Clarke could hear the bustle of students in the background and it caused her to check the time-- it was passing time at Fox. A shout of _"Hey douchebag! Get your ass over here!"_ That Clarke could _clearly_ hear confirmed that. Seemed like things at Fox never really changed. 

"Yeah, school's about to get out here and my art teacher let me go early. What's up?"

_"What time are you getting in?"_

"Three your time; Lex and I are leaving in a few hours."

_"Ugh, I can't wait to see you and meet Lexa. My girl is excited, too."_

"So I can't even know her name yet?"

She could almost _hear_ Niylah's grin-- _"Nope! I feel it's only fair after you ghosted me for a few months. You'll meet her at dinner, which I'm taking you guys to by the way!"_

Clarke let out a sigh, "Alright, Niy. I'll let Lexa know before we leave."

_"Great!"_ There was a shuffle on the other end; it sounded like Niylah had quickly pulled her phone from her ear and buried it in her chest. It was something the girl did often when she was caught talking on the phone ( usually by a teacher who _strongly_ encouraged the "no-phones" policy ). _"Sorry about that-- Hey, I gotta get going though. AP Gov waits for no woman, unfortunately. Text me when you land, though! Love you!"_

Clarke couldn't even get another word in before the other girl had hung up the phone. She shook her head with a smile and made her way to Lexa's locker, eager to get the next week started. 

\-----------------

Lexa was nervous. That much was an understatement, but saying she was nervous was a lot easier than saying she was terrified that the plane she was about to board was going to fall from thousands of feet in the air. Having never flown before ( she never really needed to ), it was safe to say that planes scared her, especially commercial ones. It was being confined that scared her; being in such a small, closed in area where in most cases, she was the only one that knew how to sign that terrified her. If something went wrong, she wouldn't be able to tell anyone. She couldn't speak ( she never felt the need to do any speech therapy after she lost her hearing because she could speak with her hands ) and anything could go wrong while on a plane. 

Her family never needed to fly. Most vacations they took were to Ocean City ( where Indra's parents lived ), Baltimore ( Nyko's mother ), or Washington DC, which was only roughly an hour or so away. She had lived in Maryland her entire life, and anywhere that she _really_ wanted to go was within driving distance. Hell, the farthest she's been away from home was when she drove with Nyko the almost five hours to New York to help Anya get settled in her dorm. She never needed to fly, but maybe it was that lack of need that caused her to be afraid of it. 

As the plane began to take off, she could feel her panic start to settle in. That knowledge of knowing that once they were on the plane, she was stuck there in that little, enclosed area for almost six hours until they landed in Seattle. She had tried not to freak out; even going as far as closing her eyes but that didn't stop the feeling of the plane slowly lifting off the ground. It was like her other senses were heightened ( more so than usual ), only getting stronger the further they got off the ground. 

Then Clarke took her hand. 

It was a simple gesture, one meant for comfort, but it was the fact that Clarke could sense Lexa's need for comfort. It was like they were on a similar wavelength, and that alone meant something to Lexa. There wasn't a need for words; wasn't a need to communicate other than that one simple touch of hands. And even though Lexa could see the world getting father and farther away through the window, Clarke's hand kept her grounded. And that was enough to keep her calm. 

Once they had been in the air for around an hour, Lexa started to settle down to the point where she could let go of Clarke's hand, and even use her camera to take those typical airplane-window shots. It was an overused photo, but Lexa had no shame in documenting her first time in an airplane that way. 

( She also, without the blonde knowing, took a good handful of Clarke. )

\-----------------

Landing in Seattle had that going home feeling for Clarke. Even the airport gave Clarke that feeling of being home, despite Clarke now considering Annapolis her home. As she led Lexa though the airport to Niylah's car, the excitement building inside her was only growing. She could see Niylah's car almost immediately; it was the same car that would take her to parties, the same car that would drive her to and from school. It was the car they had practically lived in for two years, ever since Niylah got it for her sixteenth birthday. Before they got close enough to the car for Niylah to notice them, Clarke turned to Lexa. 

_'I just want to warn you that Niylah can be a little... well, she's a lot.'_

Lexa tilted her head to the side, _'What do you mean?'_

_'She's a little O-V-E-R-B-E-A-R-I-N-G.'_

_'I'm sure I can handle her, Clarke.'_

Clarke nodded, humming to herself. _'Just let me know if she gets to be too much. She may not listen to a lot of people, but I'm sure I could get her to listen to me.'_

Lexa nodded, looking over to the car that Clarke was walking them towards. She took Clarke's hand, allowing her to lead her further. It was a short walk from the entrance of the airport to Niylah's car, but before they could even open the door a blonde, a little taller than Clarke, hopped out of the car and ran over to them. Before Clarke could say anything she was wrapped in a hug that, if she didn't know any better, Lexa would consider to be _too_ tight. 

"Oh my god, finally!" The blonde exclaimed, a look of excitement clear on her face. 

"It's only been a few months, Niy." Clarke sighed, letting go of the hug. "It's not like I was off to war." 

"No, but it sure felt like it." Niylah grinned and stepped back, looking between Clarke and Lexa. "And you must be the infamous Lexa. I've learned a lot about you thanks to Instagram, and from what this nerd has told me." 

Lexa was trying her best to follow along with what Niylah was saying, but Niylah was speaking quickly. She caught a word here or there, and was able to piece together what the blonde was saying, but it was still a little frustrating being unable to know what was going on. She looked to Clarke, silently asking for her girlfriend to interpret. 

_'Everything okay?'_ Clarke had asked. 

_'Yeah-- Niylah,'_ Clarke was quick to put together the pieces that Niylah's name sign was now "excited" with an "N", _'She talks a little too fast.'_

Clarke nodded and was quick to translate what Niylah had just said, but also asked her friend to speak a little slower. Lexa noticed this, and when Niylah seemed to have no problem slowing down a bit, it eased her anxieties of this trip going south. 

"So," Niylah continued as they walked back towards the vehicle-- Clarke was quick to keep her hands moving, "I'll be taking you to your hotel so you can get settled for a few hours, and then at say, seven? I'll pick you guys up and we'll head over to Casco Antiguo. Sound like a plan?"

Clarke called back her agreement as she opened the back door for Lexa, sliding in next to her. 

_C-A-S-C-O A-N-T-I-G-U-O?'_ Lexa asked.

_'It's a M-E-X-I-C-A-N restaurant that Niylah and I used to frequent. Pretty good food. It's like the diner Ilian owns for the both of us.'_ Clarke explained, immediately rolling down her window. It was still breezy, but Clarke wanted to take in the city. Even as they started driving, and Niylah kept talking, Clarke was taking in the city she knew as a child as they drove. All the places she used to frequent, all the sounds and smells that she knew well and loved. It seemed she could never really stray too far from her roots. 

"Yo Griff, are you listening?" Niylah called from the front seat. 

"I'm sorry, what?" 

"I'm saying, you should show Lexa around before we go to dinner. Show her the spots, hell, maybe even take her to Fox. You may not have the time later this week."

Clarke was telling Lexa what Niylah was saying when she realized exactly what Niylah had said-- "What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying, we're going to bring Party Girl Griffin back in action, blondie!" 

Clarke rolled her eyes but interpreted anyways, feeling even more content when Lexa laid her head on Clarke's shoulder as they drove. They fell into a sort of silence for the rest of the ride to the hotel, with Niylah and Clarke singing along to the radio at the top of their lungs, just like old times. At some point Clarke told Niylah to turn it up louder, and soon after Lexa was tapping her finger to the beat. It seemed like, all of sudden, Clarke's world was coming full circle, and she couldn't have been happier with her best friend and her girlfriend in the same place. 

\--------------------

After Niylah dropped them off, Clarke and Lexa didn't spend a lot of time in the hotel. They were there long enough to drop off their stuff and get settled, but soon after Clarke was leading Lexa out of the hotel and into the city; the only thing with them being their small backpacks and Lexa's camera. 

They were making their way to Fox Academy, Clarke decided quickly. Along the way she showed her different stores that she used to shop at, different resturants she used to visit with friends. She showed her the mural she had painted on the side of one of the buildings her father had designed, showed Lexa the old alleyway she and friends used to walk through to get to parties quicker. All the while Lexa was snapping photos-- of the locations, of the sky, of Clarke in her element. Of Clarke smiling and laughing, pointing and looking completely happy. And Lexa was happy to showcase that. 

It felt like merely seconds had passed before they were arriving at Fox, and it was huge compared to both Arkadia and Polis combined. At first it was a little overwhelming, seeing the giant school and the multiple levels it held. It's brick walls and almost castle-like architecture, the way it held that "this is a rich school" atmosphere had Lexa feeling almost out-of-place. Clarke walked into the building like it was nothing; like it was her home. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that at one point, this _was_ Clarke's home. 

For most of her life, all Lexa knew was the small things. Hand-me-downs from Anya; having to enter contests or save up for months just to get the camera pieces she wanted. She knew Polis; a small school that was made up of deaf or hard-of-hearing students. She knew Arkadia; while it was bigger than Polis, it was still a public school that had students from all social classes. She knew how her parents had sometimes gone paycheck to paycheck, straining themselves if the gym did poorly one month or another, but she didn't mind it. She didn't mind that she came from the lower social classes, purely because that meant that they were closer as both a family and a community. If someone got knocked down, there was always someone there to pick them up whether they knew them or not. 

Fox Academy, in it's own way, was obviously different. The lockers were bigger than at Arkadia, deep red all around. Each locker had it's own personal touch, showing exactly who had which locker. Some had names in bold, black letters, whereas others had numbers that corresponded with various sport jerseys. Some held little notes from friends whereas others held full-fledged drawings. It was like everywhere Lexa looked there was a new personality that jumped out at her. 

_'This was my locker,'_ Clarke explained, coming to a stop in front of a locker. _'It used to be covered in drawings by Niylah and I but... it seems like they don't waste time in bringing in new students.'_

The way that Clarke had signed it, it seemed like she didn't have a lot of remorse over the lost locker. Sure, she probably was a little sad that the drawings had been removed, but she didn't seem too upset about having to leave the personalized locker behind. 

( Secretly, Lexa was happy about that, because it meant that Clarke was happy at Arkadia. )

They moved past the lockers and walked through what felt like a maze of hallways. They all seemed to be connected, and Lexa felt like if she was left to her own devices she'd be lost within minutes. The hallways were tall, lined with dark wood that didn't do a lot of contrast against the red lockers. As they walked, they passed by a group of students, all dressed in an uniform consisting of red sweaters, black blazers and slacks. Lexa swallowed and tapped Clarke on the shoulder. 

_'Did you have to wear that?'_

Clarke looked to the group and nodded, waving when one of them waved at her. _'I did. Why? Do you have some schoolgirl K-I-N-K I should be aware of?'_

She was flirting. It caused a blush to crawl up Lexa's neck and settle in her cheeks. 

_'No, I was just wondering.'_

Clarke nodded, a smirk on her face. _'I see. If you ever want to see the U-N-I-F-O-R-M up close, just tell me, okay?'_

Lexa nodded and allowed Clarke to continue to lead the way. 

They had stopped in front of various trophy cases, all with different names that Lexa didn't recognize and for sports that Lexa didn't even realize were competitive at a high school level. Apparently, Fox Academy had a figure skating team.

_'Why are you showing me these?'_ Lexa asked, turning to Clarke. _'I wasn't aware you participated in sports.'_

_'Participated?'_ Clarke asked, Lexa nodded. _'I didn't. But...'_ She trailed off, turning around. _'I did participate in these.'_

Lexa turned around and took in the piece with awe. It was a long painting; almost a mural that spanned across the top of the trophy cases. On the canvas was dozens of trees, but what really stood out was the woman in the middle, surrounded by a single beam of light that came from above. She stood tall with obvious pride, armor clinging to her body that Lexa could see in detail even from their spot feet away. She stepped closer, really taking in. Despite the woman in the painting facing away, Lexa could still see how powerful she seemed. In the background, behind the trees the sky was a mix of reds and oranges with clouds of grey blotted over-top; smoke. The world around her was in ruins.

_'Our M-A-S-C-O-T is a warrior,'_ Clarke explained, over-exaggerating what seemed to be a ninja move in place of the actual sign for "warrior". Lexa didn't comment on it, only smiled. _'It was during spirit week, and the project was to see what being a warrior meant for us. Some took it literally-- one guy painted himself-- but some took it in their own way.'_ She paused, looking up at the painting. _'I see that woman as a version of me. Someone strong; a leader. Even with war raging on around her, she still manages to keep herself together. I didn't realize I'd relate so much to it only a year later.'_

Lexa nodded, looking back at the painting. She could see how Clarke felt it was foreshadowing. 

Out of the corner of her eye she could see someone approaching with open arms, and when she turned she saw Clarke easily fall into the hug the man was offering. They were close, it seemed, and all at once it looked as if he and Clarke fell into easy conversation.

Clarke turned to Lexa, nodding her head to signal for Lexa to move closer. _'W-E-L-L-S, this is Lexa Woods. Lexa, this is W-E-L-L-S J-A-H-A.'_ She signed to Lexa, and the brunette offered a smile and a simple _'Nice to meet you.'_

"So this is the girl whose parents owned the gym our parents wanted to demolish? And her family is the reason your dad and my dad are pissed at you?" Wells asked; Clarke managed to sign the words easily. 

"Yes." 

Wells grinned and turned towards Lexa, his eyes filled with joy. "Pleasure to meet you," He said, but he also tried his hand at mimicking the sign that Lexa had signed to him earlier, "I'm Wells Jaha. And I am nothing like my father." 

Lexa grinned shaking his offered hand. If all of Clarke's friends were like Wells in the few seconds she knew him, then they had a great week ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've got Lexa in Clarke's home city. What could possibly go wrong? 
> 
> Next chapter we meet Niylah's mystery girlfriend, and maybe a little drama gets stirred up. What can I say, I love some angst. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! ( either here or at colors-au on tumblr. At the moment there's only chapter updates, but I'm hoping to add oneshots in this universe soon!! )


	20. XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke talks with Wells, and we meet Niylah's mystery girlfriend. Lexa has a few flashbacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? A second chapter without weeks in between? What is this blasphemy? I know, I'm just as surprised as you are. I was just really excited to work on this chapter because it's been in the works for so long and I really wanted to see how you guys react towards Niylah's mystery girlfriend. 
> 
> This chapter picks up right where the last one left off.
> 
> As always, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

"It feels like it's been forever since I've seen you," Wells commented, slipping his hands into the pockets of his trousers. He held himself with a sort of pride; something that Clarke hadn't seen him hold since he led the school's choir to states their sophomore year. It seemed like Wells had been holding his father's decisions on his shoulders; Clarke wondered what changed. "Niylah told me you were coming out here for break, but I wasn't sure whether to believe her or not." 

"She asked me in a pretty... roundabout way," Clarke explained. "But based on the phone calls I've had with her, a lot of people have been missing me." 

"Of course; everyone starts to miss someone once they hear about how they almost single-handedly destroyed a major company's project." If it was said by anyone else, Clarke would've taken what he said in a negative way. But it was the smile he held that told Clarke he was teasing. She looked at Lexa, checking to see if she was following then looked back at Wells. 

"What do you mean?" 

"It didn't take much to put two and two together when my father cancelled the first "East Coast Exodus"-- apparently, there's a West Coast Exodus, too-- and the infamous Jake Griffin came back and started putting money towards Fox again. The rumors around here are pretty brutal, though." 

Clarke stiffened to the point where even Lexa could sense it next to her, causing the brunette to place a hand on the small of her back. It helped, but it didn't shake the knowledge that Jake was back in Seattle, and apparently supporting Fox Academy again. 

"What're the rumors, Wells?" 

He fidgeted a moment, glancing around and shaking his head. "There's the most popular one, where Jake and Abby got a divorce. The thing is, a lot of people are trying to figure out _why_ they got a divorce. Some are saying Jake spent too much time working, others say Abby spent too much time working, some are even saying that Abby had an affair." He explained. "Hell, I heard Myles last week saying that you were the reason for the divorce." 

Clarke's eyes widened, "The hell? What does that even mean?"

"He was saying that you went rogue because of the move. Lashing out at your parents, coming home drunk every night, and soon Jake had enough and just left. Apparently, the few posts from New Years and-- I think it was homecoming? something like that-- that you posted, means that you party all the time."

"Well, I can assure you that that's _not_ the case. And, not that it's anyone of these nosy asses' business, but as far as I know, they're not getting divorced." 

Wells looked like he wasn't telling her something. And Clarke, well, Clarke had a feeling she knew exactly what it was. 

"He's filing for divorce, isn't he?" She asked, softly. 

Wells sighed, but nodded. "I overheard my father and Jake talking about it last night. He's been crashing at my place since he came back; I guess he's trying to get a house out here again." 

"That bastard!" Clarke exclaimed, running her hand through her hair. She wanted to hit something, if anything just out of anger, but chose against it. It wouldn't solve anything if she broke her hand _again_. 

Wells was silent a moment before he spoke again, "What happened, Clarke? I want to hear your side of the story." 

Clarke looked to Lexa, who was following along easily. The brunette nodded and gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek.

_'You can do this.'_

It was scary that just from a look, Lexa could tell what was bothering her. And it seemed that Lexa was comfortable enough just watching Clarke and Wells converse. If she were honest, Clarke felt a little bad that it was just she and Wells talking, but at least she was able to sign fast enough to keep Lexa a part of the conversation. 

"After the whole 'Exodus' thing, things were rocky at home. Dad and I didn't talk, and mom was working a lot-- but that's to be expected. She worked a lot here, too. Anyways, I was staying at a friends house for most of the time. And when I finally thought I could talk to him about it, finally figured 'hey, maybe it's time I talk to my father like an adult', I went home. Only to find him screwing the carpenter in his and my mother's bed." 

Wells looked taken aback, but didn't let his surprise go further than his face. "Sienna."

"You know her?"

"I kind of have to. 'Future owner of Jaha, Inc.' and all that. And... She's been hanging around the house, talking with Jake lately. He always said it was business, that he needed her input on Exodus, but I know when that man is lying." 

"It seems to be the only thing he's really good at." Clarke huffed. When Lexa wrapped her arms around her, Clarke couldn't help but lean into it. As of late, she hated talking about her father. 

"How's your mom handling it?" 

Clarke sighed in relief; that's one thing she missed about Wells. While he was a guy who grew up in business, and was proven to be a good future owner for Jaha Inc., he still knew how to talk about the harder stuff in a soft way. He knew not to push boundaries, and knew how to talk to friends in a way that friends talked. The world of business and pressed suits hadn't completely ruined him. 

"As well as she can. Apparently she knew about it, but didn't fully expect it. It was hard at first, obviously, but... you know my mother. And she doesn't let something tear her down for too long." 

Clarke was proud of her mom, and proud of the way she was handling things. There were still times where she heard her crying at night, when Abby obviously thought Clarke was sleeping, but that didn't stop the woman from waking up in the morning with a pressed smile, ready to get on with the day. Her mother was strong. Broken, but strong. And Clarke tried to help her in any way that she could. 

"I wouldn't blame her if she was pissed. What Jake did is just horrible. What's even more horrible is the fact that he's not owning up to it. He told my dad that they're just on a break. No details or anything. Sounds like he's just trying to save his own skin." Wells explained, reaching up to scratch at the back of his head. 

Clarke hummed. "That doesn't really surprise me." 

It was almost as if Wells could sense that Clarke didn't want to talk about it anymore and decided to change the subject. "Well, if you want to continue to show Lexa around, don't let me stop you. It was nice to see you again, though. Maybe we could get lunch sometime this week?" He asked, looking between Clarke and Lexa. 

Clarke turned to her girlfriend, _'Would that be okay? Having lunch with W-E-L-L-S?'_

Lexa nodded with a smile, _'Of course, only if he's willing to tell me embarrassing stories of you as a child.'_ She teased. 

Clarke huffed, but interpreted for Wells anyways. 

"Oh of course, there's _plenty_ of stories I could tell about this one. Have a good day, you two." 

"Wait-- Wells, could you maybe... not, tell my father I'm here? I don't want him to ruin the week we have planned."

Wells smirked at her before he turned away, "Your secret is safe with me."

\---------------------

They walked around Fox for a little while longer, with Clarke showing Lexa a few of the classrooms and different things that Fox had to offer. As time continued to tick closer to seven, the pair made their way out of Fox and into the city, just enjoying the time they had together before Niylah would pick them up. They were about to walk into the shop that Clarke used to buy her paint supplies from when the blonde's phone rang. 

Lexa watched as Clarke talked for a short bit-- it wasn't hard to see that it was Niylah on the other end-- and soon enough the phone was returning to Clarke's back pocket. 

_'Niylah?'_ Lexa asked. 

Clarke nodded, _'She's on her way. I guess her girlfriend is going to meet us at the restaurant.'_

_'You seem nervous to meet her.'_

_'Wouldn't you be nervous to meet your best friend's girlfriend?'_

Lexa shrugged, _'The only person I really had to deal with that with was Octavia, but Lincoln wasn't too scary. I actually was excited to meet him to give him the "best friend talk".'_

Clarke rolled her eyes but leaned into the brunette. _'I'm excited to give her that, but...'_ She sighed, _'I guess it's more that I'm nervous to meet the girl who's been spending all this time with Niylah, the way I used to.'_

_'You sure you and her were only friends?'_ Lexa teased. 

Clarke rolled her eyes and gave Lexa a soft peck on the lips, _'I'm sure.'_

Lexa leaned in to kiss her again but before their lips could touch, she spotted the red car that had picked them up from the airport come into view. When Clarke furrowed her brow Lexa nodded towards the car. 

_'She's always had great timing.'_ Clarke signed, causing Lexa to chuckle. It wasn't hard to detect the sarcasm in her hand movements. 

_'We'll have plenty of time to kiss later. Let's go have dinner with your best friend, okay?'_

Clarke nodded, letting Lexa lead the way this time. 

\---------------------

The resturant was nice; it gave off a comfortable feeling that reminded Lexa of Ilian's diner back home. It was cozy yet professional, and Lexa could see why Clarke would spend a lot of time here. Niylah led them in the direction where her girlfriend was seated. But it took one look at who was sitting in the chair to know exactly who it was. 

_**Polis School for the Deaf; Start of Lexa's Sophomore Year.** _

_Costia was to her right. They walked into the school, bumping up against each other like they did all the time. It was their way of holding hands without actually holding them so they didn't have to worry about dropping their hands to sign. A way of being close without worrying about limiting communication. They waved to their friends as they walked; smiles exchanged and small signs of "How was your summer?" and "Good, yours?" were passed. It had Lexa excited for the start of this school year._

_As they got closer to Costia's locker they saw a girl standing there, looking lost. She stood next to an open locker-- the one next to Costia's-- and seemed to be struggling to find her sense of direction. Costia approached her first._

'Hey, are you lost?' _Costia asked, waving at the girl. She seemed to be confused; as if she didn't know how to sign._

"What?" _The girl had asked verbally._

'Cosia asked if you were lost.' _Lexa added, stepping forward as well. When the girl still looked confused, Lexa sighed and started to use more simple gestures to get her point across._

'I'm L-E-X-A.'

"Lexa?" _The girl asked. Lexa nodded._

"It's nice to meet you, Lexa. I'm Luna, Luna Waters."

_And that began their friendship. With Luna and Costia getting closer and Lexa trailing behind, slowly becoming an unintentional third wheel. With Lexa and Costia trying to teach Luna to sign, and the girl trying, but struggling. And it ended in Costia's heartbreak as she told Lexa that Luna had given up. And it started Costia's hatred of hearing people, and Lexa's growing fear of what Costia could do._

She snapped out of it when a hand waved in front of her face. 

_'What?'_ She asked, turning to Clarke. 

_'Are you okay?'_

Lexa looked at Luna and swallowed, nodding. _'I'm fine. Can we sit?'_

_'Of course. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.'_

\---------------

Clarke was a little worried when Lexa zoned out. Usually it was she that did it, with Lexa having to snap her out of it. She didn't even know what caused it. She chewed her lip as she sat down at the table, across from Niylah and next to Lexa. Something had changed within the past few minutes, and while Clarke didn't know what it was, she was worried about it. 

"Clarke, Lexa, this is my girlfriend, Luna." Niylah introduced them, giving Clarke enough time to interpret. And while Lexa seemed to be pretty good at reading lips, she didn't want Lexa to have to do all the work. 

_'We know each other, actually.'_ Lexa explained. 

That's when it hit Clarke. 

_Luna. Costia's Luna. The girl who left when she got a cochlear._

That's why Lexa had spaced. 

"Really? How?" Niylah asked. 

_'She used to go to my old school, Polis.'_ Lexa filled in. 

"It's been a while, Lexa." Luna smiled; a soft, genuine smile. 

_'It has.'_

"What happened to Costia?" Luna asked, letting her eyes fall to the table. 

_'It's a long story. Needless to say she's no longer in my life.'_

"Clarke says you two go to school together now?" Niylah asked, in attempt to get the topic off of Costia. 

"Yeah, Lexa transferred a few months ago." Clarke explained. 

"Why the switch?" Luna asked. 

_'I felt it was best. Aside from Polis being a eaf school, when Costia and I were no longer together there wasn't a need for me there. Plus, all my friends go to Arkadia.'_

Luna nodded, accepting the answer. The next few minutes passed with them discussing the menu and ordering, but Clarke could feel Lexa's uneasiness the entire time. She was quiet; more so than usual when given a group of hearing people, and even placing her hand on Lexa's thigh in an attempt for comfort wasn't helping the girl. She was distant; as if she wasn't even a part of the conversation at all. It was starting to worry Clarke a lot. 

Eventually, it seemed like something in Lexa snapped. She looked up at Luna, and started quickly moving her hands. Clarke was almost unable to keep up. 

_'What made you chose the cochlear?'_ She asked; the question taking Luna aback. 

"My dad got a new job. Part of why I moved, actually. It payed well and we were able to afford it when we weren't able to before." The brunette explained. 

_'But why would you want it? Is being deaf that horrible of an idea?'_ Lexa asked. Clarke was hesitant to interpret it, but she knew that at this point she had no right to censor words. Clarke knew that this conversation had to happen. 

"I grew up hearing. Why would I have that change?" 

Lexa nodded, taking a breath. _'I see your point, but to me, it feels like a cop out.'_

Luna's eyes widened a moment before she replied-- "Why?"

_'You took something that made you unique, something that made you a part of a community and changed it like it was a deformity; like it was something to be ashamed of. Did you really think something was so wrong with you that you decided a permanent surgery was better than learning to talk with your hands?'_ Lexa's hands were moving quickly-- she was getting upset and Clarke could tell. She wanted to comfort her girlfriend; wanted to help her. 

"No, that wasn't it at all. In fact, I would have loved to learn to sign. Still do, actually. Just haven't had the time. My choice for a cochlear felt it would help me. I'm trying to become a musician-- I know that just because someone is deaf doesn't mean they can't excel as a musician, but I wanted all the help I could get. It was a personal choice to help my future, Lexa. I'm sorry if you didn't see it that way when I left." Luna explained, her voice soft. 

Lexa paused, silent. It took her a few moments to regain her composure. _'I'm sorry if I overstepped. I didn't see it as that before. Costia had made it seem like you left because you weren't wanting to be around us-- be a part of our community anymore.'_

"Really?" 

Lexa nodded, feeling her breath start to come faster. _'Yes, she was...'_

\--------------------------

_**Polis School for the Deaf; Halfway Through Lexa's Sophomore Year.** _

'She's gone, Lexa.' _Costia signed as she walked into Lexa's room. It was something she did often; Indra would let her inside and Costia would make her way upstairs where Lexa was studying._

‘What?' _Lexa asked._

_‘Luna. She's gone. Got a stupid cochlear and left.'_

_Lexa sighed and put down her pencil, looking at her homework. She couldn't blame Costia for being upset; part of Lexa was too. Luna had become a good friend in such a short amount of time._

_Costia laid down on Lexa's bed, burying her face in the pillows. Lexa wasn't sure how to comfort her. It was clear how much Costia cared for Luna. How Costia was deeply upset about this. But Lexa didn't know what to do other than gently rub Costia's back. Eventually, the girl rolled over, looking at Lexa._

‘Why does everyone leave?' _Costia asked slowly._

'I don't know, Cos. Sometimes, things just happen. Maybe she couldn't stop it--' 

'That's bullshit and you know it, Lexa. She had a choice. She could've stayed, but she chose to go. She took the easy way out.' 

_Lexa sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose._ 'Sometimes people don't have a choice--' 

'She left us, Lexa. She left me. She left just like my dad. Why can't you see that? She saw us as people with something wrong with us. Like we don't belong. It's like we're outsiders, Lex.' _It was like the sadness Costia had had turned into anger; something that Lexa hadn't seen Costia be around her. It was... frightening._

‘Costia--' 

‘You're not going anywhere, right Lexa?' _Costia asked, her demeanor changing suddenly._ 'You're not going to leave me, right?' 

_Lexa sighed, but shook her head._ 'No, Cos. I'm not going anywhere.' 

_Costia grinned,_ 'Good. Because if you do, I don't know what I'll do.' 

_It was at that point that Costia started being controlling. Demanding to know where Lexa was all the time; wanting to spend all of Lexa's time together. She got inside Lexa's head constantly, and every time she did Lexa was left wondering what she did that was so wrong._

__\-------------------_ _

_'Lexa?'_ Clarke signed, trying to get Lexa's attention again. 

_'I'm sorry, what?'_

Lexa looked around; they were outside the restaurant. When did that happen? 

_'What happened?'_ Lexa asked. 

_'You blacked out, or something. You were breathing really quickly; it was like you were having a panic attack. Are you okay?'_

_'I'm fine.'_

_'Lexa, please talk to me.'_ Clarke signed, placing a hand on Lexa's shoulder. 

Lexa sighed and leaned into the touch, taking comfort in the small things. It amazed her that just a small gesture meant so much to her. _'Seeing Luna again brought up some bad memories.'_

_'Do you want to go back to the hotel? I can tell Niylah you weren't feeling well and we can get an uber.'_ Clarke offered. Lexa shook her head. 

_'No, it's okay. Can we just... stand here a moment?'_

Clarke smiled, _'Of course.'_

Lexa buried her face in Clarke's neck and the blonde's arms wrapped around her. They stood there, just them, in silence, but for once, Clarke didn't mind the silence. Maybe it was the white noise of the busy streets, or maybe it was being back in a city that was never truly quiet, but she didn't mind this. She didn't mind feeling Lexa's breath on her neck, or feeling the way that Lexa's hands rested on her hips. Despite the panic attack that Lexa had, Clarke felt complete in that moment. It was the soft kisses that Lexa left on her neck, the gentle squeezes and the way Lexa's hair felt against her fingers. Like the rest of the world didn't matter. 

It felt like hours before Lexa took a breath and stepped back, suggesting that they went back inside. And when they did, it seemed like something had changed dramatically. They sat back down, and it was Lexa who started the conversation back up. 

_'I apologize. I did not mean to panic like that.'_ Lexa explained. 

"It's okay," Luna started, "And... I told Niylah everything. I haven't been entirely truthful, to be honest. Costia was actually part of why I left." 

Lexa furrowed her brow, but it was Clarke who spoke up. "What?" 

"She never told me that she and Lexa were together. Sure, I thought something was going on between you two, but she always told me that you guys were just friends." Luna explained. "She wanted a relationship, and I wasn't ready. She got hostile after that; controlling. Then my dad got the new job and we moved. It was my way out. But that doesn't excuse why I never called you. I didn't mean to hurt you, Lexa." 

It hit Lexa then that it wasn't just her that Costia was like that to. And it made her feel angry towards her ex-girlfriend. 

_'It's... okay.'_

"Is it?" 

Lexa nodded, a soft smile appearing on her lips. _'We can work on it.'_

__Luna smiled in response._ _

__It was silent, the only sounds coming from the clanging of silverware against plates. Nobody knew what else to say until Niylah spoke up._ _

__"Well, I'm all for this sappy shit, but how about we talk about what's going to happen this week? G, I know my mom's been missing your presence. I swear she loves you more than she loves me."_ _

__"When she's home, you mean." Clarke smirked._ _

__"Which she's not tonight, but she will be sometime this week. Which means, I expect you to have dinner with us."_ _

__Clarke grinned, "I wouldn't expect anything less."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of you thought it would be Costia that Niylah was dating and while that would be a definite plot twist, I just felt like it'd be a little too obvious. Luna seemed like the more viable option-- especially since she didn't play too big a role before. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	21. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's birthday. A lot of Clexa in this chap. Picks up right where the last one left off. Also, a little bit of the Woods / Griff group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like I'm spoiling y'all this week. But the Clexa Spring Break Trip (TM) has been in the works for weeks and I'm so excited for you guys to read it finally. This chapter is a little heavy in the beginning -- there's talk of abuse, this is your warning -- but it all ends up okay. This chapter is actually a turning point for the girls' relationship in a few ways. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

The rest of the dinner went swimmingly, but soon enough Niylah was driving Clarke and Lexa to the hotel with a promise to hang out again soon. Clarke hadn't minded going out-- she had missed her best friend and she loved seeing her again, but it didn't take a lot to know that both she and Lexa were immensely tired. They had been up for so long-- even longer than expected-- and if she were being honest, Clarke was ready to fall asleep in the car on the way back to the hotel. She was still on East Coast time, with it being midnight in Annapolis despite it only being nine in Seattle, and with the past week of staying up so late Clarke was beyond ready to pass out. 

Lexa however, still wanted to shower when they got back. And being the kind of girlfriend Clarke was, she made herself stay awake for when the brunette was done before she turned in for bed. She knew she should probably shower, but it didn't take long for her to decide to just do it the next day. She had a feeling that she and Lexa were both going to be sleeping for most of the day, anyways. 

The shower was soon turned off and Clarke looked up from her spot on the bed, already with her hair up in a bun and changed into her pajamas. She had been mindlessly scrolling through Instagram-- making sure to "like" the post that Niylah had sneakily taken during dinner-- when Lexa walked out of the room. Clarke looked up at her, watching as Lexa gently combed through long brunette locks, and for a moment she swear she felt her heart stop. She didn't realize that someone could be so beautiful doing something so simple-- something that Clarke did every time she showered. But maybe it was just that it was Lexa doing it. 

_'Did you have fun?'_ Clarke asked, getting Lexa's attention. 

Lexa nodded, smiling shyly at her-- _'I suppose,'_ She replied, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Clarke sat up, scooting towards her. _'It was interesting to see Luna again and see her side of the story. I didn't realize that Costia was so...'_ She paused, sighing. _'Horrible.'_

_'She tried to hide it until she couldn't control Luna.'_

_'So she started to control me instead? Or, continue to?'_

Clarke sighed, a frown on her face. She could tell how much this was affecting Lexa; how it had thrown the girl so off course that she had been visibly shaking at the restaurant. The question was, how much of that did Lexa actually remember? 

_'Yeah, basically.'_ The blonde shifted, looking down at her hands then back at Lexa. She wasn't the best at comforting with words. _'But what matters is that she's out of your life now.'_

_'Is she?'_ Lexa retorted. _'Because she's still haunting me. Everything reminds me of her, and what she did. I can't listen to one of my favorite songs because it was our song-- and then I remember how things went wrong. Some of her clothes are still in my closet because-- because I'm afraid that if I go to take them back to her, then she'll-- you know. And I'm afraid if I throw them away, then she'll find out and come after me. Yeah, she wasn't locking me in my room or anything but-- that doesn't mean that I'm not still scared.'_

Her breathing was picking up again, to the point where she was almost hyperventilating. Clarke looked at her a moment and gently took Lexa's hand, placing it on her chest. She over-exaggerated her breathing, mouthing for Lexa to match her breathing with Clarke's, in a simple attempt to get the brunette to calm down. When Lexa's breathing was even again, Clarke hesitated before signing, _'The W-O-U-N-D-S she left are still new.'_ She started, pausing a moment. _'But you're strong. And you're still continuing on each day, no matter what she did or what reminds you of her. It doesn't matter how bad she hurt you compared to other abusers out there-- she hurt you. And you're allowed to hurt. And you're allowed to be afraid. But know that she will never-- especially if I get a say in it-- she will never hurt you again, Lexa. She is out of your life, even if her ghost is still around. But you can get through this.'_

In that moment, it was like everything stilled. The white noise coming from the streets below their window faded when Lexa looked at Clarke, almost as if she was looking at her entire world. And despite Clarke still trying to form words with her hands, a jumbled mess of signs that showed Clarke didn't know what else to say; that didn't matter to Lexa. What mattered to Lexa was the way that Clarke cared; the way that Clarke had tried her best to sign all that she could. The effort that Clarke was putting into their relationship-- everything that Clarke had done for her; that was mattered to Lexa. And all that mattered then and there was them. Not Costia, not Niylah and not Luna-- them. 

And Lexa kissed her. She set the pace, with her hands falling on Clarke's hips and Clarke's hand falling to Lexa's cheek. A gentle clash of lips that was filled with passion and love-- something that Lexa didn't want to think about before then. But she loved Clarke. And she was falling in love with Clarke. She just needed to find the right time to say it. 

But she kissed Clarke like her life depended on it. Clarke's hands fell into Lexa's hair, her fingers weaving through the damp locks with soft movements but gentle tugs. And Lexa's hands moved to rest on the small of Clarke's back as Lexa guided her further up the bed, letting Clarke fall back against the pillows. Clarke's lips broke the kiss but continued along Lexa's neck, leaving kisses and bite marks that would fade by the next morning in her wake. Lexa's head fell against the pillow and her hands moved along Clarke's sides, dipping under her shirt to allow cold fingers to trail across warm skin. Clarke nipped at the base of Lexa's neck, sucking and kissing to the point where she'd have a _definite_ mark. The blonde could feel Lexa's breath on her neck, could hear the soft almost-pants that gave Clarke the slightest insight as to what Lexa's voice could sound like other than her laugh. And Clarke was loving it. 

As Lexa's hands slowly started to inch further, bringing the blonde's top with them, Clarke's hands fell on top of them. It wasn't that she wanted to stop; quite the opposite. But she didn't want their first time to be after she said a few kind words. She didn't want it to seem like she was just comforting Lexa for the sake of getting in bed with her. So she stopped her, and when Lexa looked at her confusedly, Clarke just smiled. 

_'I want our first time to be special.'_ She explained, unknowingly holding her breath. She wasn't sure how Lexa would react to that. 

Lexa only nodded, however, and sat back a little. _'I know. I want that too. I guess we just got a little carried away.'_

Clarke sat up and crossed her legs, tugging Lexa closer. They may not be getting naked, but that didn't mean that she didn't want Lexa close to her. _'And that's okay,'_ She signed, _'It doesn't mean I didn't like it. You don't know how long I've wanted to kiss you like that.'_

Lexa blushed, but placed a few, gentle pecks against Clarke's lips. _'The feeling is definitely mutual.'_

It was then that it settled for both of them how tired they really were. So once Lexa's hair was dry, they put on a movie on Clarke's laptop and fell asleep in the comfort of each other's arms. 

\--------------------

Saturday, the girls spent most of the day in their hotel room. They woke up well into the afternoon, and despite it being St. Patrick's Day, they opted to stay inside rather than raid the city for any underage parties. It didn't feel like a good idea, especially with Abby's rule of not drinking, so instead of getting wasted on alcohol they spent the night watching baking shows on Netflix and binging on takeout and sparkling water. And it may have not been the fanciest of nights, but in Clarke's eyes, it was one of the best nights she has had in a while. 

On Sunday, Clarke took Lexa to all the places where she used to shop. She showed her where she would buy her brushes, and the different store where she'd get her canvas. She showed her where Clarke would get her clothes with Niylah, and even convinced Lexa to try on a few clothes ( which, Clarke ended up buying for her, too ). She showed Lexa the mall, and talked about how one day Wells convinced her to stand on the fountain and scream at the top of her lungs that she was "bisexual and proud" when she was doubting her sexuality, and Wells had told her that she had nothing to be ashamed about. Even if she hadn't told her parents back then, Wells had convinced her that it was okay to be who she was ( but that didn't mean that, at the time, she wasn't still afraid of her parents reaction towards it ). 

Monday was Clarke's birthday. Lexa had known about it since Abby had mentioned it at dinner, and while it took a little nudge to get Clarke to tell her specifically what day, Lexa still didn't know what to do for it. She had thought constantly, but nothing seemed to match the thoughtfulness that Clarke had done for their second date. She knew ( hoped ) that whatever she had planned, Clarke would love -- but she still couldn't figure out what to do with Clarke for her birthday. The main idea she had was a dinner, something romantic and sweet, and something that Clarke would ( hopefully ) remember for a long time. But Lexa didn't even know where to start. 

Clarke was in the shower, and Lexa was sitting on the bed. It seemed like there were a million restaurants in Seattle and Lexa didn't even know where to begin. It seemed like every restaurant she found wouldn't be good enough. She had to keep herself from panicking about it. 

A thought occurred to her and before she knew it, she was opening Facebook and navigating her way through Clarke's profile to find Niylah's. A quick friend add and a few minutes later, and Lexa was messaging the blonde. 

**_Lexa:_ ** _Aside from Casco Antiguo, where is Clarke's favorite restaurant? I want to take her out for dinner tonight_

It didn't take long before the little signal that Niylah was typing popped up.

**_Niylah:_ ** _The Pink Door, probably. She's always loved that place. Fine dining; Italian. But be warned, she used to go there with her dad after work events._

Lexa went to type again, but Niylah beat her to it. 

**_Niylah:_ ** _If you do decide to go with The Pink Door, though, maybe you can help her make new memories there. I'm sure she'd love it._

Lexa let out a breath, happy that she had Niylah's support in all of this. She had gone to The Pink Door's website, ready to make a reservation when another message came through. 

**_Niylah:_ ** _Would you be okay if we do something before, though? As a group?_

**_Lexa:_ ** _What did you have in mind?_

**_Niylah:_ ** _Tattoos?_

The question took Lexa off guard. She wasn't sure what gave Niylah the idea that they'd be down for tattoos, but really, the more Lexa thought about it, the more she realized that it could actually be fun. It was Clarke's 19th birthday, and Lexa was eighteen. In that moment, all they really had to do was get the okay from their parents. Lexa saw Clarke wave out of the corner of her eye and she smiled, looking up at the blonde. 

_'What's up?'_ Clarke signed. 

_'Niylah has something planned for your birthday... but we're going to have to talk to our parents about it first.'_

Clarke furrowed her brow and Lexa smirked, _She wants to get T-A-T-T-O-O-S.'_

Blue eyes widened and Lexa had to hold back a laugh as Clarke signed, _'Leave it to Niylah to plan something like that.'_

She sat down next to Lexa, who was quick to exit out of the messenger app before Clarke could see the messages she had with Niylah. _'Have you talked to our parents yet?'_

Lexa shook her head, _'I was waiting for you.'_

Clarke picked her phone up off the bed and opened it, going to the group chat. It wasn't long before Lexa was receiving the messages Clarke was sending to the chat with their parents, too. 

**_Clarke:_ ** _So, Niylah has some insane plans for my birthday..._

**_Clarke:_ ** _How would you guys feel about Lexa and I getting tattoos?_

Suddenly, there were three bubbles appearing at the bottom of her screen and Clarke almost laughed at how quickly all three parents were replying. 

**_Abby:_ ** _Are you serious?_

**_Indra:_ ** _Lexa, were you two aware of this before you left?_

**_Nyko:_ ** _I think our girls would look badass with a tattoo_

**_Indra:_ ** _Now is not the time, Nyko._

**_Lexa:_ ** _No, mom, Niylah just suggested it to us_

**_Nyko:_ ** _I want to meet this Niylah girl at some point. She seems cool_

**_Clarke:_ ** _It really was Niylah's idea, mom. If you're not down for it I could always tell her no_

Dots continued on the screen next to Abby's name; Clarke could just imagine her mother typing and deleting and retyping the same message and wording it differently. A few more messages popped up before Abby's reply came in. 

**_Nyko:_ ** _Well I'm for it. I think if the girls want to rock some ink, go for it. It'd be hypocritical of me to say otherwise._

Clarke looked at Lexa with a grin as the next came through.

**_Indra:_ ** _I suppose Nyko is right. It'd be hypocritical of me to say no as well. All I ask is that it's meaningful and that it doesn't interfere with Lexa's classes during the healing process._

Only one more approval left. Abby was still typing. 

**_Abby:_ ** _Well now I'll look like the bad guy if I say no. Clarke, you're an adult, and if this is what you want then there's nothing I can say about it. I do suggest that it's meaningful, though. And please, don't get a tramp stamp._

Clarke grinned and quickly typed out a "thank you guys" before she turned to Lexa, her eyes as wide as her smile. _'Looks like we're getting tattoos.'_

\---------------------

"So, what did you guys have in mind?" Niylah asked, glancing behind at Lexa and Clarke from the front seat. Luna was next to her, and was turned around the best she could be to fully converse with the four of them. 

"I thought about getting a paintbrush, but I feel like that doesn't... mean a lot to me." Clarke shrugged. 

"I thought you loved painting, G? What's a deeper meaning than that?" Niylah asked. 

"It just seems so... simple. I mean, you got your first tattoo what, last summer? And it was this tribal design along your back to match your family's roots." 

"Yeah, and despite it being painful as shit, it wasn't the deepest thing in the world. I've gotten a bunch since then, and all of them mean a lot more than a tribal tattoo." Niylah scoffed. Luna chuckled from the passenger seat. 

_'I was thinking about getting mine along my forearm; the phases of the moon.'_ Lexa explained, allowing Clarke to interpret. _'Because the moon is always changing, and so are people. And there's always going to be a new moon right around the corner.'_

"See? That." Clarke sighed after she interpreted. "That's a deep meaning. I want something that means a lot to me, you know?" 

"You'll think of something, Griff. You always do." 

"What did you have in mind, Luna?" 

Luna hummed, lacing Niylah's fingers with her own. "I was thinking maybe a compass. Or a tree, I don't know. Haven't really been planning my next one." The brunette shrugged, turning back around. 

Clarke sighed, taking Lexa's hand in her own as she looked out the window. She didn't realize how difficult planning a tattoo would be. She didn't doubt that Lexa had been thinking about getting a tattoo for a while, it was clear that she had really thought about this one. Never in a million years would Clarke think she'd actually be planning to get a tattoo, but here she was, trying to figure out what would be best permanently inked onto her skin. But as she thought about Lexa's tattoo, and what it meant to her, she started to realize what she wanted to get. And it caused her to squeeze Lexa's hand tighter. 

\--------------------

The tattoo shop was a lot different than Clarke imagined. Imagery of skulls lined the waiting room, accompanied by black couches that contrasted against the redwood floor. But that wasn't the only thing that stood out to Clarke. There were Star Wars posters everywhere, too. Drawings of it, paintings of it, even collectible lightsabers in cases attached to the wall. It felt like Clarke had walked right into a Comic Con. It wasn't a negative thought; really she just wasn't expecting it. And she was too lost in looking at _everything_ that she hadn't even noticed the man walk up to them. 

"Hello ladies, how can I help you?" He asked. It took a moment for Clarke to pay attention, but one look from Lexa assured her that she didn't need to interpret in that moment. 

"We'd all like to get a tattoo today, if that's alright? I know walk-ins can be a little iffy here." Niylah explained. The man crossed his arms and was about to speak when another man walked up to them.

"I can take it from here, Otan. Hey, Niylah. Glad to see you back here." The man smiled, offering his hand to each of them. "I'm Artigas, the owner of this shop. What do you have in mind today?" 

"Well," Niylah drawled out, "It's Clarke's birthday, and I wanted to celebrate by getting us all tattoos. On me, of course." 

"Niylah--" 

"Shut up, Clarke. It's your birthday, I haven't seen you in months, let me do this, yeah?" 

Artigas smirked and folded his hands together. "How about you tell me what you guys want, and I can find the best artist for you?" 

Niylah nodded and Artigas walked over to his desk. As they walked over, Clarke nudged her arm. 

"You know him?" 

"Old friend of my dad's. They went to college together." The blonde shrugged and walked up to the desk. "So, I was wanting to get a set of wings on my shoulder blades, maybe allow it to go down my arms a little bit. I think that'd be sweet." 

Artigas nodded, writing it down. "Ethan's your guy for that. You know him, right? He did that angel piece on Zoran a few months ago." 

Niylah nodded. "I know him." 

Artigas called him over, and soon enough Niylah and Ethan were walking over to Ethan's cubicle to talk about her tattoo. 

"And Luna? For you?" 

"Not too sure about it yet. Think I could talk with Connor? See what our brains can come up with?" 

Artigas glanced behind his desk and saw that the man in question was working on someone, but he nodded. "Pretty sure Connor's almost done, you can have a seat and I'll let him know." 

Luna gave him a thumbs up and turned to go sit down. 

"And for you?" Artigas asked, looking at Lexa. Before Clarke could speak for her, Lexa was holding up her phone to give Artigas the description. 

"Space tattoo. I dig it. I can do that one for you." 

"Actually, could you do both of our tattoos? I'm willing to wait, I just figured since I'm getting a space tattoo as well..." 

"I can do both of you, no problem birthday girl. It'll be a wait, though." 

"That's okay. How about you girls have a seat and we can talk about these tats?" 

They walked around the desk to sit down behind it, when Artigas turned and handed them both a few pieces of paper. 

"So girls, I'm going to have to have both of you fill this out. It's the legalities of all of this, saying that you're of age and all that. And once those are filled out we can start sketching your tattoos. You said you wanted the phases of the moon...?" Artigas trailed off, expecting Lexa to fill in her name. 

_'L-E-X-A.'_ Lexa signed back. 

"Are you... deaf? Don't speak?"

Lexa pointed to her ear. Clarke was intrigued by the conversation. 

"Deaf, cool. I take it Clarke here can sign what you don't understand?" 

Lexa nodded. 

"Cool. So you want it all in a line? Along your forearm?" 

And just like that Artigas and Lexa were having their own conversation. In a way, Clarke felt a little out of the loop. But she knew Lexa, and she knew that if the brunette needed her she would let her know. And it gave Clarke an insight as to how Lexa interacted with people when she wasn't around, or anyone else who could interpret wasn't around. 

"And for the birthday girl?" Artigas asked, looking at Clarke. 

"Do you happen to know the constellation Canis Major?" She asked, hoping he knew the one. He nodded, already sketching it out. 

"Do you know where you want it? And is it just the constellation?" 

"I was hoping it could be in white ink, with Sirius being bigger than the rest... maybe some black around it and other stars? But I want the constellation to be connected." 

Artigas nodded and continued with his sketching. Clarke was left fiddling with her hands, but stopped when Lexa placed her hand over the blonde's. Soon enough after both girls were approving their sketches, Lexa was getting up on the table and holding Clarke's hand for support. For Clarke it was happening a lot faster than she expected, but once everything was sterilized she heard the buzzing of the needle. 

The buzzing was weird. It was like a consistent white noise that wasn't too loud, but wasn't too quiet, either. It was just... _there_. And Clarke wasn't sure how to feel about it. But instead of focusing on the buzzing, she turned her focus towards Lexa. And the brunette held a stoic expression, with only a few cringes here or there to show what areas were painful. Clarke could put together where it hurt more; closer to her elbow and down by her wrist. She wasn't sure how long she was sitting there, just watching Lexa's reaction to the tattoo, and when she finally looked at the time it had shown that quite some time had passed. 

And then it was her turn. And she reacted a lot worse than Lexa did. 

But that didn't mean that she didn't love the outcome. At the end, seeing the constellation that meant something to her permanently on her body; it gave her a sense of empowerment. And it went so well with Lexa's that she couldn't help but snap a few photos of it, sending them straight to Instagram. 

_'So why did you choose L-A-E-L-A-P-S?'_ Lexa asked as they sat on the couches, waiting for Niylah and Luna to be finished with their tattoos. 

Clarke smiled at her and squeezed her hand before she allowed herself to explain. 

_'When I met you, my life was about to crumble. And it was a hard time, but somehow, you were always there. Even when you were with Costia, it seemed like you were always around. And you listened, and you cared, and you showed me that the world isn't just in black and white. And when you showed me L-A-E-L-A-P-S, well... that was one of the only nights when everything was happening where I could just forget about the world. And well, S-I-R-I-U-S, to the sky, is like you to me. Recently, you're my light, Lexa. And even if we, for some reason, break up in the future, you're always going to be a part of me. I don't think I could ever forget about you if I tried.'_

Clarke hoped that what she had said was okay, and that Lexa didn't misinterpret it. She hoped that Lexa understood what she was meaning, and she hoped that Lexa knew how much the girl truly meant to Clarke. While Clarke may not be the best at showing it, Lexa had grown to mean so much to Clarke within the few months they knew each other, and Clarke wouldn't take any of it back. She just hoped that Lexa knew that. 

_'You mean a lot to me too, Clarke.'_ Lexa smiled, bringing Clarke's hand to her lips. 

And just like that, Clarke knew that she hadn't messed things up between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kissy, almost sinful scenes are not my forte. Hope that was alright for you guys to read. Also, not too sure how I feel about the tattoo portion of the chapter. It got away from me a few times and I wasn't sure how to make it flow the way I wanted. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoyed and as always, let me know what you think!


	22. XXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have their date night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH. Hey guys, sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I've been dealing with my mental heath; got put on some medications and dealing with the side effects of those for the first few weeks. That, and since I'm so excited for the stuff that's coming after these next few chapters, it's been really hard to push them out as well. If I'm being honest I'm not exactly happy with the last quarter of this chapter; but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. I just didn't want you guys to wait any longer when this chapter has been sitting here three-quarters finished for like, the past half month.

It was a short while before Luna and Niylah's tattoos were finished, but Clarke and Lexa didn't mind waiting for them. They sat in a comforable silence, both examining the tattoos that permanently marked their bodies for the rest of their lives, both just enjoying each other's company. It was still an odd concept for Clarke; actually looking at her tattoo. For years she knew tattoos to be Niylah's thing; something the blonde had always wanted and knew as soon as she turned eighteen she was going to get. But Clarke never really put much thought into it. Sure, she loved the idea of having art on her body but she always thought that she'd be too indecisive to actually decide on what she wanted, much like it was a struggle to say what her favorite color actually was ( which, it was burnt orange that week ). But she stood by her decision to get Laelaps; stood by her decision to get the constellation. 

Blue eyes glanced over at Lexa's forearm, taking in the phases of the moon against tan, irritated skin. At the top of her forearm near her elbow sat the start of the cycle in waning gibbous, only for it to be a new moon by the middle of her forearm. It ended in waxing gibbous, without a sign of a full moon at all on her arm. And it had Clarke curious; she remembered the meaning that Lexa had given before, but she couldn't figure out if Lexa had meant it that simply or if it had something deeper as a part of it. Before she could ask about it, Niylah and Luna came out from behind the various cubicles and Niylah was heading to pay. 

"I can't believe you actually paid for all of our tattoos," Clarke commented, standing up and taking Lexa's hand. "What'll your parents say when they see the huge transaction in your account?" 

"I'll just tell them the truth -- it was a birthday present. We had a tattoo party." Niylah shrugged, handing her card over to the artist. 

Clarke wanted to comment how she didn't understand how Niylah could throw money around like it was nothing, but she stopped herself because she _did_ know. Because she used to be like that. Because she was _still_ like that. Even now, even after her father left, Clarke still impulsively bought things from time to time without even thinking about whether or not she'd need the money later on. It was how she was raised. And it was something she couldn't just snap out of. 

As they slipped back into the car, Niylah was the one who spoke up first. 

"So Clarke, you're coming to my place to get ready and Luna is going to take Lexa." The blonde explained, looking at Clarke through the rearview mirror. Clarke interpreted for Lexa, despite being confused. 

"Ready for what?"

Her friend smirked, "Lover girl has something special planned for your birthday."

Clarke turned to Lexa after a moment, eyes slightly wide, _'Are you okay with going with Luna?'_

Lexa nodded. _'I suggested it to Niylah when you went to the bathroom before we left. I want to be surprised by your beauty.'_ She smirked. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, but continued. _'What about Luna?'_

_'I think it'd be good for her and I to really talk.'_

Clarke nodded, giving Lexa's hand a squeeze as they drove through Seattle. The more Clarke thought about it, the more she thought it was a good idea that Lexa and Luna were going to do this. Maybe, in the end, they could be friends again. It wasn't hard for Clarke to think that Costia had been so horrible that it had caused Luna and Lexa to have a rift between them so long ago, and really, the blonde hated that it was because of Costia that Lexa didn't even know the real reason Luna left. Really, Lexa deserved so much more than that. 

They went their separate ways after they arrived at Niylah's place, with Clarke and Niylah sending Lexa and Luna off with kisses goodbye. Then Clarke was walking into the house that for so long she considered a second home. And for the first time in forever when it came to Niylah's house, Clarke felt out of place. 

Clarke had grown up down the street from Niylah. They met the first day of preschool, and were attached at the hip ever since. They did everything together; from driving to school, to sleepovers on the weekends, to throwing water balloons at boys during block parties. Niylah spent as much time at Clarke's as Clarke did at Niylah's, and that was a majority of their time awake. They were inseparable; to the point where either could walk into the other's house unanounced and it would be considered normal. But now, Clarke could sense how things had changed. 

Within the months that Clarke had been gone, Niylah's mother had changed the flooring. Gone was the light brown wood that had been the highlight of races in socks and the downfall of accidental paint wars at midnight, and in it's place was a dark polished wood. The living room had changed, too -- from the warm green it once was to a dark red. It didn't shock Clarke that the renovations had taken place, what shocked the blonde was how... sudden, it seemed to have happened. There were knick-knacks that had been moved around, photo frames that were once there but now gone in favor of more recent ones. A photo of Clarke and Niylah at their fifth grade graduation was replaced by one of Niylah's senior photos. 

It reminded Clarke too much of walking back into her own house after her father left. A sense of cold; of a house not feeling like home anymore. And Clarke didn't like it. 

There was one photo, albeit in a small frame off to the side of the mantle, that still held that childhood happiness that used to engulf Clarke whenever Clarke entered the house. It was of Clarke and Niylah, both the age of ten at a summer camp. It was the first day of camp; Clarke having a giant grin on her face and Niylah sticking up bunny ears behind Clarke's head. Both in matching lavender shirts and jean shorts -- it was the photo that started the rumor that Clarke and Niylah were actually sisters, despite them not looking _that_ alike. And Clarke smiled, allowing herself to get lost in the memories before she walked upstairs to Niylah's room.

It seemed that Niylah's room was the one thing that hadn't changed about the house. The walls were painted a baby blue with cream carpet, but you wouldn't be able to tell what the colors were given the various makeup and paint stains on the carpet and the posters that lined the walls. It seemed the only thing that was really different about Niylah's room was that there were photos of Niylah and Luna added -- right next to the ones of Niylah and Clarke. It warmed Clarke's heart. 

"So, get your ass over here so I can doll you up." Niylah called from the bed where she had laid out her makeup, snapping Clarke from her thoughts. 

Clarke grinned and walked over to her, taking a seat on the bed. The comforter still felt the same that it did months ago. 

Niylah had started doing Clarke's makeup when Clarke spoke up curiously, "So how did you and Luna meet?" 

Niylah hummed, taking the cap of the eyebrow pencil out of her mouth and putting it back on the pencil. "It was one of those moments that's pulled out of a teen drama, believe it or not." She started, continuing on Clarke's makeup. "She was someone I'd never seen before; goes to that school near the coast. Anyways, she was working at the Starbucks in the mall. Gaia and I were getting dresses for homecoming --" She paused, looking at Clarke a moment, "Did I tell you that Finn tried to ask me?"

"No -- what the hell?" 

"I know, right? Guess he was desperate for a date. Don't blame him though -- I mean, look at me." She winked before continuing on, "Anyways, Gaia and I were going stag but we wanted to look great, as one does for their last homecoming. And she while she was flirting up these guys by J. Crew, I went for a coffee. And Luna was my barista. And we were talking, and flirting, and she ended up writing her number on my cup." 

"What a cliche." 

"I know, but it was so cute I couldn't pass it up." 

"So you guys started dating? Just like that?" 

"Well, not like that," Niylah shrugged, "We texted for a little while, and _then_ she asked me on a date. Pretty old school, but it was a nice change compared to the guys at Fox who try to go straight for the naked photos as soon as they get your number." 

"Ugh, don't even remind me about those guys. Even when I was dating Finn it was like I was getting new numbers every week." 

"That doesn't happen at Arkadia?" 

Clarke shrugged, letting her eyes close as Niylah started on her eye makeup. "Not really. Everyone has things they're focusing on and it's not always dating. Not counting my own relationship, the past few weeks have been spent getting my portfolio ready. Raven and Murphy have been working. Aden has his own portfolio, and Lexa had her own things to worry about. It was a big change, for sure. But it was a nice one." 

Niylah hummed, continuing with the makeup, "Well, tonight, it's all going to be about you and Lexa."

\------------------------

"So, Clarke Griffin?" 

Lexa nodded, a smile coming to her face as she watched Luna flip through her closet for something for Lexa to wear. _'What about her?'_ She asked, her eyes lighting up when she saw that Luna had guessed the signs correctly. 

"How'd that happen?"

Lexa only shrugged, pausing Luna to point to an outfit with a nod. _'There was some stuff happening with Costia, and at the time, Clarke was just Aden's friend.'_

"Friend?" Luna asked, mimicking the sign. Lexa nodded again with a smile. 

_'We kissed on New Year's, drama happened, and not long after Costia and I were breaking up. Clarke and I went on our first date on Valentine's Day.'_

"So you guys have only been together for a month?" The taller brunette asked, holding the dress up to see if it looked good on Lexa. It did, so Luna took a moment to pick out some makeup that would match. 

_'Not... officially. But, we've been.... something, since New Years.'_

Luna nodded, taking her time with the makeup. For a moment, Lexa was curious as to what was going on in her old friend's head. It seemed that for so long, Lexa had the wrong impression from Luna purely because of Costia. And it made Lexa wonder how close of a friendship they may have had had Costia not put that image of Luna in Lexa's mind. It caused a small sprig of anger to pop up in the back of Lexa's mind, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now. 

After a moment, Luna turned to Lexa and spoke again, "What happened with Cosita?"

Lexa hesitated. Could she really trust Luna with this? She felt like she _should_ be able to, at least a little bit just because Luna had been treated the same way that Lexa was. She _wanted_ to tell Luna. So why was it so hard for her to say it?

"You don't have to tell me. But we were close once, and I know how Costia could be. She was mean, opinionated --"

_'What?'_ Lexa cut her off, asking Luna to repeat herself. 

"Opinionated. And she always had to get her way and when she didn't, she got mad. But you can talk to me." Luna assured her, moving to sit down on the bed.

Lexa followed her, sitting across from her. She looked at her hands a moment, taking a breath. It hit her that she hadn't really talked about what happened with Costia without Clarke around. Clarke had become something like her rock since everything; suddenly not having her around and talking about it seemed like the hardest thing in the world. But Lexa was determined. And if she could get past this, she felt like she could get past anything.

_'She...'_ Lexa tried; her breath picking up quickly. She could feel panic rise in her chest and every part of her was telling her to just stop talking. But she _wanted_ to talk about it. 

"We can talk about something else." Luna suggested, placing a hand on Lexa's shoulder. 

_'If I don't talk about it now, I never will.'_ Lexa explained. 

"Talk about it?" Luna asked, mimicking the signs. When Lexa nodded, Luna let out a breath, but allowed Lexa to continue. 

_'She... was nice at first. Yeah, opinionated, but nice. But you left, and she got... controlling. Like you said she was. It was like when you left, she turned on me. And then Clarke came along, and I was interested. I mean, how could I not? She's beautiful. But Costia got worse. And then one day...'_ Lexa paused, taking a breath. _'She hit me.'_

"Sounds like she was worse than I remembered."

Lexa chuckled, shaking her head. _'Clarke actually helped me with it. Now neither Costia or I go to Polis, and hopefully I'll never have to see her again.'_

Silence fell over the two of them, and suddenly Lexa was uncomforable. It was like she told her story and she could just _feel_ the sympathy coming from Luna. But she didn't want the sympathy. She was still the same Lexa; she just had a traumatic experience. And while she may have some issues because of that, that didn't mean she was a completely different person. She didn't want Luna to think of her differently. After a moment, Lexa started again.

_'What really made you choose the Cochlear?'_ She asked, _'Aside from not wanting to lose your hearing.'_

Luna shrugged, going to start on Lexa's makeup. It was clear that Luna wanted to get this done as they continued talking, no matter how difficult it may be. "Well, like I said before, music is my life. I play piano, write music. Singing is my passion. I just... wasn't ready to throw out my dream." She sighed, looking down to put more eyeshadow on her brush before she continued, only speaking when Lexa's eyes were open. "But it's not all a walk in the park."

_'What do you mean?'_

"So many people think that just because I have a C-L," She signed, smirking at Lexa. "That I'm magically cured. Yeah, I can hold a conversation, but it's still difficult. It helepd that I got it so soon, but I still have to read lips. Still have to make up what I think someone is saying. Hell, I can't even shower with it. I made the wrong choice opting out of learning to sign." The brunette explained, not meeting Lexa's eyes. Lexa knew it wasn't out of disrespect; it seemed to be hard for Luna to talk about this. 

_'I didn't realize that it was so difficult.'_

"Difficult?" Lexa nodded. "Nobody does. But I don't want sympathy, just like I know you don't. Sure, headaches, dizzy spells, they happen and I get overwhelmed often, but it's a lot, you know?"

_'Turns out I don't know as much as I thought.'_

"I didn't either until I was researching the surgery."

_'Did it hurt?'_

"No more than any other surgery. Plus, I was out of it." Luna smirked at her. 

_'Is it wierd?'_

"Sometimes. Some sounds don't sound right. Like they used to, I mean. Luckily for me, it doesn't effect my music."

_'I think you'd get along great with my brother.'_ Lexa smiled. 

\-----------------------------

It wasn't long after that that Clarke and Niylah were picking up Luna and Lexa, only to drop them off at the Pink Door. As Niylah and Luna drove off, Clarke turned around, taking in the restuarant that she used to love so much. 

"Did Niylah tell you this?" The blonde asked, turning towards her girlfriend. 

Lexa nodded with a small smile, _'She suggested that I try and make new memories of this place with you so you don't resent it because of your dad.'_

"She knows me so well." Clarke sighed, taking Lexa's hand and leading her into the resturant.

The table they sat at was a few tables down from where Clarke used to sit at with her father. And for the first time when Clarke thought about her father, she wasn't mad. She was more upset with him than anything. The fact that he didn't even think to call, to try and repair things with her mother. That he just ran away like a coward. It upset her to the point where she wanted to cry, but she wasn't about to do that on her date with Lexa. 

They talked about everything and nothing for a short while; just letting the conversation lead itself. They talked about where they were applying for schools, and Clarke learned that Lexa was applying to colleges all over the country, but she didn't know what to major in. She wanted to go for photography, but at the same time she knew that that wouldn't be the best case scneario. It made Clarke's throat tighten just a bit when she realized that all she had planned for the future was art; something that didn't perceive well unless you were the best of the best. 

The conversation soon led to Aden and their friends back home, and how they both wondered what their friends were up to. It made Clarke realize that she actually really missed her friends back home; the home she knew now. And while she loved being in Seattle, it made her eager to want to return. Not eager enough to want to hop on a plane in that exact moment, but eager enough. 

By the end of dinner Clarke felt like she had spent hours getting to know Lexa all over again. It was a really nice night that she felt like she needed after the exhausting past few months; and it was exceptionally great to be able to do that in a place that already held so many happy memories. It was clear that Lexa had gone all out for Clarke's birthday, and Clarke was grateful. 

She was even more grateful for being able to spend the rest of the night with Lexa, alone in their hotel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you guys think!


	23. XXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fillers, some time jumps. The Annapolis gang makes a comeback, and we learn more about Murphy. A lot of phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think what had me in my slump for so long is that I kept having ideas for side characters, but I couldn't really do much with them because Clarke and Lexa were in Seattle, whereas the characters I wanted to write about were in Annapolis. So, we have a few time jumps and some more character development. I hope you guys don't mind too much.

The smell of freshly baked pizza wafted through the air as Clarke sat across from Wells, an embarrassed blush on her cheeks as she interpreted for Lexa. She didn't _want_ to, the last thing she wanted to do was willingly tell her girlfriend all the horrible stories Wells had stashed in the back of his mind, but it was making Lexa happy. So she continued on, knowing _very_ well how much joy Wells was getting out of this. 

"So, we were what, sophomores? Like, sixteen? Anyways, we were in the park. Finn had brought his little cousin, and as most children do, this kid wanted to play hide and seek. So Clarke talked us into it, and it was my turn to seek. Fifteen minutes later and I've found everyone else _but_ Clarke. Like, nobody could find her. It was maybe ten minutes later that we hear her screaming, ' _Guys, I'm stuck!'_. She had gotten herself stuck in a tree. And they had to have the fire department come to try and get her out, because she wouldn't let any of us help her. I'm pretty sure Clarke scarred the poor kid into never going in a tree because he'd get stuck." Wells laughed, taking a bite of his pizza. 

Lexa chuckled, looking over at Clarke. _'Why were you in the tree to begin with?'_

"Have you ever played hide and seek with an eight year old? It's like, impossible to outsmart them." Clarke responded. 

"Or, there's the time when Clarke had the _brilliant_ idea to jump in the fountain in front of our old elementary school, _right_ before our principal came out. So she's sitting there scolding us, telling us to get out of there. And you know what Clarke said to get us out of trouble?"

 _'What?'_ Lexa asked. 

"She said she lost her glasses." 

_'But you don't wear glasses.'_ Lexa said, looking over at Clarke.

"Exactly. And I'm pretty sure our principal knew that too. But hey, I was able to walk out that day without a detention, so I'm _totally_ all in for Clarke wearing glasses."

The conversation settled down a little bit after that, allowing the three of them to eat their food with little banter. But after a moment, Wells was speaking again.

"So, you finally let Niylah talk you into getting a tattoo, huh?" He asked, nodding to Clarke's forearm. 

"Yeah, it was a birthday gift. And you know it's impossible to say no to her." Clarke replied. 

"Oh, I know. Remember when she talked me into eating chalk as a freshman because she wanted to get out of biology?"

"Oh my god, and you ended up with blue teeth for like, a week."

 _'A week? How?'_ Lexa gaped, looking between the two of them. 

"The chalk was a gift to our teacher from an old student," Clarke explained. "Hand made. The dye was horrible." 

"I had to be hospitalized to make sure it wasn't toxic." Wells interjected.

 _'Fox Academy sounds like a crazy place.'_ Lexa commented, letting out a puff of air with a grin. 

"It really is." Wells chuckled. 

As their meals came to a close, Lexa had to excuse herself when her phone started ringing. In most cases, she would let it go to voicemail, but it was Anya on the phone. 

As she picked up the call, she stepped out of the pizza place.

_'Anya? What's up?'_

_'Mom said you were gone for break but didn't say where. So, where are you?'_

Lexa, confused, glanced around for a minute before she replied. _'I'm in Seattle with Clarke. Is everything okay?'_

_'Ah, the girlfriend.'_

_'Did mom tell you that?'_

_'No, it was my sisterly intuition.'_

Lexa rolled her eyes, pausing a moment. She gave Anya a look, before the blonde replied again.

_'I follow her on instagram.'_

_'If you follow her on instagram, why'd you call to see where I was?'_

_'Am I not allowed to call my sister?'_

_'I didn't say that.'_ A beat, _'Are you at home? Is everything alright?'_

_'Yes, I'm at home. And everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you. Aneubis says hi, by the way.'_

_'I'm sorry I'm not there. I miss you.'_

_'Not enough to call me more, clearly.'_

Lexa sighed, _'I've been busy.'_

_'I know. Will you be back in time for me to see you before I head back?'_

_'Maybe. I hope so. I don't know.'_

_'If not we can figure something out. I... actually wanted to talk to you about that.'_

Before Lexa could respond, however, Clarke came up behind Lexa and wrapped her arms a moment. Lexa stiffened slightly, only until she realized that it was Clarke behind her. Then, she settled into the arms that surrounded her, letting out a soft breath. 

When Clarke pulled away, she turned to Lexa. _'Wells wanted to walk around the mall for a bit. I wanted to see if you were down for that. Hey Anya.'_ She said, giving a smile to the phone. 

_'Hello, Clarke. I'll text you later, yeah? Love you.'_

Lexa repeated the sign back to Anya and turned to Clarke when the call ended, nodding, _'I think that'd be fun.'_

And so they joined Wells in their walk around the mall, going on a mini shopping spree for themselves and their friends back home. The rest of the week was spent with laughs and fun memories; ones that made Lexa not want to leave. But they had to eventually, and Friday night had Clarke and Lexa saying their goodbyes to Niylah and Luna, with a promise that they'd get together again soon. Whether that was Clarke and Lexa returning to Seattle, or Niylah and Luna coming to Annapolis, Clarke was determined to see them again. 

\---------------------------

**_Saturday, March 24th_ **

With it being their last Saturday before they inevitably went back to school, Clarke suggested having a movie night at her house. And Abby agreed, even going as far as to pre-ordering the pizza for Clarke and her friends. It wasn't long before they all started to pile into the Griffin household; Raven bringing Murphy along, and Lexa bringing along not only Aden and Anya, but Octavia and Lincoln as well. And as Raven, Octavia and Anya were arguing over what movie they were going to watch, Clarke turned to Aden, poking him in the cheek. 

_'So, you wanna tell me who you've been seeing in secret?'_ She asked, getting his attention. _'Don't think I haven't noticed you being glued to your phone, or how you skipped out on that big dinner because you had a date.'_

Aden shrugged, fiddling with his hands a moment. It was clear he was nervous to talk about this; like even though it was okay that he was seeing someone, he didn't feel comfortable about talking about it. He chewed the inside of his cheek before he signed back, _'I want to take things slow with this person. Don't worry, they make me happy. I just... want to talk to them before I start telling everyone.'_

Clarke nodded, trying to not let the slight bit of hurt show on her face. Aden trusted her, right? And he wouldn't keep something like this from her if he didn't feel like it was important. Really, Clarke knew that she should feel happy for him, but in a way, she couldn't help but hope that Aden knew what he was doing and that he hadn't gotten himself in some sort of bad situation. 

When the trio finally settled on a movie to watch -- Scream, as per Anya's insistence -- they settled onto the various couches and chairs with pizza, popcorn and soda, all ready to celebrate their last night _real_ night of freedom from homework and high school drama. As the movie started, however, Lexa leaned over to Anya. 

_'What is it you wanted to tell me the other day?'_

Anya hummed, almost determined to just shrug it off. 

_'Come on, tell me. Please?'_

Anya sighed, but gave in, _'It's nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I'm taking the summer semester off.'_

 _'So you'll be at home more?'_ Lexa grinned. 

Anya nodded, and Lexa let out a soft squeal that got only Aneubis' attention. Anya shushed her, and soon enough, Lexa was cuddling into Clarke's side, eager for the summer ahead of them. 

\--------------------------

_**Saturday, April 14th.** _

It was a lazy Saturday for Clarke. Her mother had woken her up that morning with breakfast, something that Clarke was happy about. It seemed that even after the downfall that was Jake Griffin, her mother was still determined to fix things with Clarke, and Clarke was happy about that. And that morning, they had sat together at the dining table, catching up with each others' lives and just enjoying their time together before Abby was off to work. It was an overall nice morning, one that Clarke greatly appreciated. The rest of Clarke's morning was spent going over ideas for a Promposal, writing them out in her journal only to rip it out a moment later and throw it away. She wanted to come up with something nice, something meaningful, and something that _definitely_ topped Lexa's date proposal for Valentine's day. Clarke was truly very competitive at heart. She had idea after idea written down, but none of them seemed truly good enough to actually go through with. 

When she finally felt like she had come up with an idea that was good enough and had started fully writing out the plan, she got a phone call from Raven. And at first, she was tempted to ignore it, purely because if Raven _truly_ wanted her attention Raven would just invite herself over. But when she checked the time, and saw that Raven was scheduled to be working then, panic rose in her chest. 

"Raven? What's going on?" She asked, picking up the phone. 

_"Did Murphy come over?"_ Raven asked. Clarke could hear the passing of cars in the background. It seemed like Raven was on break and had gone outside. 

"No, he's not here -- what's going on?"

_"Can you do me a favor and go look for him? I asked Aden, but he's helping Echo at the gym today and Lincoln and Lexa have a class--"_

"Hey, hey. I got it. What happened?"

_"I have no idea. He drove me to work and he was hanging out for a bit, but then he got a phone call. And he just mumbled something about having to get away for a bit? And now he's not answering my calls and Jas' uncle stopped by the apartment and hasn't seen him, and --"_

"Raven, you need to breathe. I'll find him. Do you have any idea where he could've gone?" 

_"At this point? I have no idea. He could be anywhere. He left like, three hours ago? Four? Before my break, at least. I know his grandparents had a beach house in Virginia Beach, but that's so far away and I have no idea if Murphy would want to drive that far--"_

Raven was rambling. Clarke sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Text me the address. I'll head out there and see if he's there. If not, I'll keep calling him. Okay?" 

_"Okay, okay. Thank you, Clarke. I'd go with you, but well--"_

"You're at work."

 _"Dude, you've_ got _to stop interrupting me like that. I'll start to think that you don't want to talk to me."_

Even while panicking, Raven could make a joke out of everything. And hearing Raven so panic-struck is what made Clarke decide that she _had_ to go find Murphy. Even if he was just behind the gas station where he worked, Clarke had to find him. Because if she didn't, who knows what could happen. 

So when she got the address from Raven, Clarke packed herself a small bag and made her way on the road. And for good measure, she grabbed a bottle of her mother's whiskey from the cupboard and stopped for cigarettes on the way of the three hour drive. Clarke knew that if Murphy had a conversation that was bad enough to make him want to leave the town, he had probably already gone through his pack by this point. 

The drive was long. And Clarke had tried to fill the silence with Top-40 music on the radio, but it didn't seem to do much. The same songs kept playing over, and it annoyed Clarke more than kept her occupied. Eventually, she ended up pulling over to attach her phone to the car's bluetooth and began listening to her own music. But even then, it didn't provide much of a distraction. Neither did the wind in her hair, or the eventual smell of ocean water that came as she got closer to Virginia Beach. She was worried. About finding Murphy, about what had actually happened with him.

When she got to the address that Raven had sent her, she had put all her hope into believing that Murphy was there and that he hadn't attempted to flee the country for whatever reason. Knowing Murphy, it wasn't against him. She walked up the stone pathway, right up to the front door of the house, knocking once, then twice. She could hear the sounds of people laughing in the background, but one glance around her proved that it was just some teenagers going for a walk. The sun was starting to set at this point, and Clarke was starting to worry that she wasn't going to find him. Dread started to fill her as she stepped off the porch, trying to find the easiest way into the backyard along the beach without getting yelled at by someone else for trespassing. 

She made her way slowly around the side of the house, pushing open the old wooden gate that led into the back of the house. It creaked against her hands, causing her to curse under her breath, but she continued on until the grass turned to sand and she was walking along the beach. 

It wasn't very often that Clarke saw the ocean. She had seen the Pacific Ocean a few times, when she would go on vacation with Niylah or when her parents had managed enough time off to actually go someplace as a family, but even then they seemed like distant memories. Fun memories, but memories nonetheless. She watched as the sun began to set, watching as it's colors reflected in the ocean water and covered the sky in bright oranges, pinks, purples and hues of blue. She took her phone out to snap a photo to show Lexa later; hopefully her mediocre skills would at least get a gasp of awe from her girlfriend. 

Her eyes settled on a small figure down by the shore, and Clarke let out a breath of relief. Who else would it be, so close to this beach house, but Murphy? Adjusting the strap of her bag she slipped off her shoes and began walking towards him, taking a seat next to him in the sand. It was cold against her feet, and the beach was, for the most part, deserted. It seemed like not a lot of people wanted to hang out on the beach when the weather was still a little chilly in the East. 

He didn't say anything at first. His knees were brought up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them as he just stared at the waves of the ocean. Clarke could hear seagulls in the distance, but for the moment, she just looked at him. She took in the way his face was pulled together in what looked to be confusion; how he seemed lost in thought. She didn't want to disturb him.

Instead, she reached into her bag and pulled out the bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes, opened the bottle and took a swig before setting it between her legs as she packed the cigarettes. Four on one side, four on the other, repeat until you make twenty. And then she opened it, and offered it to him to flip the lucky. 

"You know, you should really be the one to flip it on your pack. I don't want to give either of us bad luck." Clarke said after a moment, giving him a small smile. 

Murphy looked at her and nodded, taking the pack to flip the lucky and pulled out a cigarette of his own. He placed it between his lips, then pulled out another, handing it to Clarke. Clarke gave him a look -- he knew that she didn't smoke that much, but the look on his face just screamed "smoke one with me, please". So she complied, taking the cigarette from him and lighting it after his own was lit. It still burned her lungs the same way as always. 

She took another swig of the whiskey before she handed the bottle to him. 

"I take it Raven sent you on a goose chase?" He asked, pushing the sand from his foot with the other. 

Clarke nodded, her eyes going out to the ocean. It was a calming sight; peaceful. She could see why Murphy had escaped to here. 

"You weren't answering her calls. She was worried."

"Yeah, that happens sometimes." 

Clarke hummed. She wanted to know what had happened back in Annapolis, but she knew better than to push. Murphy would talk to her when he was ready. And whether that take minutes, or hours, she was willing to wait. 

Eventually, he spoke -- "Did you know that schizophrenia is hereditary, Clarke?" He asked softly, looking down at his cigarette as the wind blew the ashes from his knees. 

"What?" Clarke looked at him, her face falling. 

"Schizophrenia. You know, the mental disorder. The one where people see shit and believe things that aren't really there?" He sighed, taking a hit of his cigarette. He let the smoke float out of his mouth slowly. "It's hereditary." 

Clarke looked down at her hands; at the cigarette burning between her fingers. If anything, it was just there for comfort. Not much for her, but for him. 

"My dad called me earlier. That's why I left the coffee shop." He explained, clearing his throat. He took a drink from the bottle, cringing at the burn of the whiskey but otherwise didn't show any sign of not liking the taste. "Told me my mom was being checked into a mental institution downtown; that apparently she had been showing signs of it for a while, but she went off the handle. Started believing that my dad was an intruder in her home; that he had kidnapped me and was coming for her, too. I guess she really did care, after all." 

It was hard for him to talk about. That much was clear. She could see it in the way he avoided eye contact; the way he fiddled with the edge of his sleeve when he wasn't drinking from the bottle of holding the cigarette between his lips. A breeze blew past them, sending a chill up Clarke's spine. But Murphy seemed to be unfazed by it; content in his oversized grey sweater. 

"I don't know what... prompted him to call," He paused, "But he did. And... I haven't been able to stop thinking about it." He swallowed thickly, throwing out his finished cigarette only to pull out another and light it up. "And I keep thinking, if _she's_ crazy, well then, maybe I am too."

"But you're not crazy, Murphy." 

"Yeah, not now, but what about in ten, twenty years when I start to lose my shit?" He asked, looking over at Clarke. "What then?"

Clarke frowned, bringing her own knees up to her chest. She didn't know. She didn't know what would happen in so many years if Murphy was subjected to inhereit the disorder that plagued his mother. She didn't have an answer for him. So she stayed silent. 

"That's what I thought." He quipped, taking a long drag of his cigarette. They sat in silence for a few moments, with Murphy clearly struggling to form words. "I'm... sorry for snapping. I'm just..." He sighed, pushing his hand through his already messy hair. "I'm scared, Clarke." 

Clarke wasn't expecting him to say that. Especially to her, of all people. It showed that he really did trust Clarke, and that, Clarke knew, meant a lot. Clarke finished off her own cigarette and, a little too quickly for her slightly buzzed state, stood up, reaching out for his hand. 

"What're you doing?" Murphy asked, looking up at her. 

"Raven's ass made me drive all the way out here to find you. And we're not gonna sit here, moping about when there's a perfectly good ocean right there. So come on. Have some fun with me. Get your mind off things." Clarke insisted, reaching for the bottle to take another drink. She was just glad it was a Saturday. 

"Clarke, I'm really not in the mood --" 

"Nope, come on. We can mope about later." 

Murphy scoffed, but after a moment, gave in as he stood to join her in walking to the beach. And they danced in the water, splashing each other and laughing only to end up collapsing on the beach a few hours later to finish off the whiskey and the first pack of cigarettes. When it got too dark and too cold for them to stay outside any longer, they retreated to the beach house, and for what seemed to be the first time in a while, Clarke saw John Murphy truly smile. And that alone was well worth the scolding she got from her mother the following day when they eventually turned up at the Griffin household, only to see a very concerned Abby, Raven, Lexa, and Aden waiting for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of people want a lot of Clexa scenes, but I really enjoy exploring the backstories of side characters. The one in this chapter was inspired by Eliza's multitude of photos with Richard as of late, and really, I've always loved writing their friendship. 
> 
> I just want to mention as well that I do not in any means mean to ill talk mental illnesses in this chapter. It seemed fitting to Murphy's character for him to respond that way. 
> 
> As always, I hope you guys enjoyed, and please let me know what you think! Also, I've been trying to be a little more active on the tumblr page ( @colors-au ), so feel free to interact with me over there!! I love author-reader interaction, and it really helps me want to keep writing!!


	24. XXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom is a thing. So is intense Clexa development.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I don't really know what happened here guys. I planned everything out perfectly and well... one thing led to another and someone gets caught with their pants down. Things go from 0-100 in this chapter real quick. You've been warned. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

**_Monday, April 16th_ **

She was nervous. 

Really, that much should've been a given by the way her hands shook as she drove to school, the small ( read: bigger than it should be ) box sitting in the front pocket of her backpack. Did Lexa feel this nervous before she asked Clarke out on Valentine's Day? Did she go over the idea in her head a million and one times just to make sure that she had it all _perfectly_ with no mess ups to be seen? If she didn't, Clarke wondered how Lexa even managed to go through with it, because here Clarke was, on her way to school, nervous as hell because she couldn't stop feeling nervous about asking out her own girlfriend to prom.

But it's not like Lexa would say no, right?

She shook her head at the thought. Of course Lexa would say yes. 

Each class period seemed to go on for hours, longer than Clarke would've liked. She spent less time actually focusing in class and more time doodling in the small sketchbook she kept with her, sketching out eyes and creatures that rivaled the one from the black lagoon. She was certain that her teachers had noticed her nervous habit, the one that _didn't_ involve the tapping of her pencil eraser against the lines of her notebook paper, but they didn't say anything to her. Which, she was grateful for. The last thing she needed was to be scolded by a teacher. 

As it inched closer to lunch time, Clarke's nerves both grew and shrunk. They grew because, well, there was _still_ the option that Lexa could say no, but the shrinking of the nerves came with Aden reassuring Clarke in between classes that Lexa was going to say yes. She had confided in him earlier that morning, telling him that she was worried that Lexa would say no, that she wouldn't even want to go to prom, but Aden kept telling her otherwise. And Clarke was glad that out of the entire group, at least one of them had their head on straight. 

Murphy hadn't been handling the news from his father well. After Clarke had convinced him to come home, and the two of them were berated by their friends and family ( and lovers, in Clarke's sense ), the man finally broke down to tell their small group what happened. And while it wasn't a whole lot, just Murphy telling them what he had told Clarke and begrudgingly apologizing for up and leaving like that, Clarke could tell that it took a lot for him to trust them all the way he used to just trust Raven. And Clarke was proud of him, even when he shrugged off their condolences in favor of escaping outside for a cigarette. He was struggling; they all knew it. But they also knew that if he needed help, even if it's just someone to talk to, that he'd come to them. It was better not to push. 

When lunch time finally rolled around, Clarke had to take a few breaths to prepare. She was waiting outside Lexa's locker; waiting for the brunette to meet up with her so they could walk together. But today, they weren't walking out to the bleachers. Today, Clarke was going to make a scene in the cafeteria. And well, while Clarke was panicking on the inside that something was going to go _wrong_ , she kept hoping that it was all going to go right. 

_'Are you okay? You seem... jittery.'_ Lexa asked as they started to walk.

_'Yeah, I'm okay. Also, we're not going to the bleachers today. Octavia wanted to talk to me about something.'_

It wasn't a total lie. In a way, Octavia _was_ a part of this, but so was Aden, and Murphy, and Raven. They were just going to be "sitting" with Octavia for a short bit. 

Clarke could tell that Lexa was curious as to what the blonde had up her sleeve. It wasn't every day that Clarke opted to go to the cafeteria instead of the bleachers, and when she did it was either because it was raining horribly or something was wrong. Nevertheless, Lexa laced her fingers with Clarke as they walked, bypassing students that neither of them saw on a daily basis. 

The cafeteria was loud. At least, to Clarke it was. And it reminded her why she enjoyed the safe serenity that the spot under the bleachers provided. There was so many voices speaking at once, so many clatterings of lunch trays against the tables and the screeching of chairs against the floors. The soft thuds of backpacks being haphazardly flung against the floor in a rush of students attempting to get seats with their friends. It was a lot to take in. But Clarke knew that she had to do this. 

Lexa had made a scene for her. So it was time for Clarke to make a secene for Lexa. 

They found Octavia seated next to Lincoln in the middle of the cafeteria. She was engaged in a conversation with Aden; both of their hands moving at what seemed to be a mile a minute as they talked on. Lincoln was chatting with Raven, while Murphy sat on the table, his feet in a chair as he tapped away on his phone. As they got closer, Clarke could hear the lunch ladies telling him to get off the table, but he ignored them. Clarke couldn't blame him for that. 

The box sat heavily in the pocket of her sweatshirt. She could do this, right? She was brave enough. 

Lexa had a way of making her weak, though. 

( Weak in a good way. )

"Clarke, Lexa! Hey!" Octavia called when she finally spotted the duo. She pushed out a few chairs next to her, the screeching noise echoing in Clarke's ears. 

"Hey, guys." Clarke took a seat, and allowed herself to get lost in conversation for a few moments. She met eyes with Raven, who gave her a simple nod, silently telling her that things were going to be okay. 

It was now or never. 

She took a breath as she stood, stepping onto the table. Lexa looked at her with wide eyes. Clarke slipped her hand into the pocket of her sweatshirt, clutching the box with one hand. And as Clarke got down on one knee, suddenly the entire lunch room was silent. 

"Lexa Woods," She began, her voice soft but slowly growing confident. "You have been such an amazing addition to my life. Through hard times, and good times, and even putting up with me and my sometimes childish antics." She smiled, allowing her hands to translate her words into something Lexa would understand. The look on Lexa's face was priceless. 

"And somehow, you've managed to win over my mom. What I'm trying to say is, Lexa..." 

She paused, reaching into her pocket again and pulling out the box. Lexa's eyes seemed to grow even wider and Clarke had to keep from laughing and kissing that look off her girlfriend's face. As she opened the box, revealing a dark blue ring pop, Clarke could hear Murphy's snicking behind her. 

"Will you go to prom with me?" 

Lexa was silent for a moment; looking between the ring pop and Clarke, still on the table. It was as if she was realizing that this wasn't an _actual_ proposal, and just a promposal. Eventually she signed, a grin on her face. 

_'You ass, I thought you were asking me to marry you.'_

_'That's for the future.'_ Clarke replied with one hand, a grin on her face. She had said it without thought, and while the thought alone would usually scare her, the look on Lexa's face made her less afraid. "Is that a yes?" 

Lexa nodded, reaching forward to pull Clarke's lips to hers. And then, even if just for a moment, everything was falling into place. 

\----------------------

**_Saturday, April 21st._ **

Lexa was nervous. 

Homecoming hadn't been the best time of her life. Even with Costia being late, the girl had been stiff all through the photos and she didn't even bother to match outfits with Lexa. Sure, they had gone together, but it didn't really even feel like it. It was like Costia was in another place for most of the night, be it mentally or physically. Overall, Homecoming kind of sucked. 

She had high hopes for Prom, though. 

Clarke was a lot different than Costia. In so many ways. And while Lexa hated comparing them, there was always that piece of her in the back of her mind that was always comparing them, always taking note about how much better Clarke was treating her in comparison to how Costia had. Where Costia had done wrong, Clarke had done right. And Lexa was happy. Even with the reoccurring nightmares, and the fear of Costia finding her again, Lexa was happy. 

She put the finishing touches on her makeup as Aden appeared in the doorway, a smile on his face as he told her it was time to go. He looked nice, in a slick tuxedo topped off with a black bowtie. His hair was neatly quaffed, put up in a way she hadn't seen before that week because he went to get a haircut. He looked nice; excited. Even without a date it seemed like he was just happy to have a good time that night. 

They were set to head over to the Griffin household, where they'd meet they rest of their group. While a few of them had dates, the others in the group didn't, so they felt it'd be best to just go as a bigger group. Nobody seemed to complain, and when they eventually made it down the road they came to the realization that they were the last to arrive. Lincoln's jeep was parked on the side of the road, and Murphy's truck was pulled halfway into the grass, halfway into the driveway. Murphy sat on the edge of the porch, a cigarette hanging between his lips. 

"It's about time you two showed up," He commented, his hands messily signing along. He had been trying to learn, and that alone was enough to put him in Lexa's good books. 

Not to mention how much he seemed to help Clarke. 

"They're all in the back," Murphy spoke again, tossing the cigarette to the ground and leading them inside. "Come on, Mama G's getting impatient." 

A smirk played at his lips, indicating that he was joking. They walked through the house and through the back door, where Octavia, Lincoln and Raven were engaging in conversation and Lincoln was trying to help Abby figure out her camera. But Clarke was nowhere to be found. 

Lexa's eyes met Octavia's across the lawn and she simply signed in return _'upstairs'_. She nodded, told Aden she'd be right back, and headed back inside. 

She found Clarke sitting in front of the vanity. And for a moment, Clarke didn't realize she was there. So Lexa watched on as Clarke applied blush on her cheeks, focusing solely on putting on the powder. And Clarke looked beautiful. It didn't take seeing the rest of what the blonde was wearing for Lexa to see that. But for Lexa, Clarke always looked beautiful. Whether she was dolled up in a dress, or in a tank top and sweatpants with her hair in a messy bun on a Saturday morning, Clarke always looked beautiful. And Lexa was so in love with her. 

Soon enough, Clarke caught Lexa's gaze from the mirror. And she smiled that soft, gorgeous smile at her before she turned around to stand. Lexa walked towards her slowly, her hands out in front of her as she attempted to think of what to say. But words, even with her hands, didn't seem enough. 

_'You look gorgeous.'_ Lexa eventually stated, internally kicking herself at how _typical_ that sounded. 

_'You're not so bad yourself, beautiful.'_ Clarke replied, stepping closer. _'You know, the last time I saw you for a dance, I was going with your brother.'_

_'And I was going with... well, you know.'_

Clarke nodded, placing a hand on Lexa's shoulder and squeezing. _'I know. But if it means anything, I'm glad I get to take you to this one.'_

Lexa smiled, _'I'm glad too.'_

And they just looked at each other, taking in the way the other was dressed. A moment with no words, just soft glances and gentle touches as they enjoyed the other. 

But just like always, their moment was broken by the calling of their friends at the bottom of the stairs. 

Clarke eyes fell to the ground with a soft sigh, causing Lexa to give her a look. _'We have pictures to take.'_

Lexa nodded, giving Clarke's hand a squeeze as they headed downstairs. 

\---------------------------------

Abby insisted on taking way too many photos for any of their liking. She took dozens of the group as a whole, then the couples, and even a bunch of photos of them as individuals. But the two that Clarke liked the best were the ones taken when no one was paying attention. The first was taken as Octavia and Murphy argued over who should be in the middle, with Lincoln looking somber yet amused beside his girlfriend, and Raven chanting "fight, fight, fight!" off to the side. Aden stood with his head in his hands and Clarke and Lexa just looked on, Clarke quickly interpreting for her friends. 

The second was one that was focused just on Clarke and Lexa. They were getting ready to pose, but just stood there talking. In the photo, they were looking at each other, both of their hands raised in simple conversation. But it wasn't the candid part that made Clarke love the photo, it was the look that both of them had in their eyes. 

Looks of love. 

Clarke wasn't sure how to tell Lexa, yet. 

\----------------------------

They went to dinner before they headed to prom. And as fun as piling seven teenagers into one booth was, Clarke believed that everyone there was just excited to get to the venue. They all traveled in different vehicles, as per Murphy's idea with the excuse of "I don't want any of the single friends to get left behind if the couples decide to leave early to play hookup". As blunt as it was, he had a point. 

As they walked into the venue, Clarke pulled one more surprise out of her purse. She pulled out a small pair of ear plugs, pushing them into her ears. Lexa, albeit confused at first, felt her heart swell when Clarke's only explanation was, _'If we're going to stand by the speakers the whole night, might as well give myself the full experience.'_

The dance was loud. Even with Clarke having the earplugs in, she could still hear the loud bass and the muffled lyrics playing in the songs. Lincoln and Octavia were the first to break out from the group, followed by Raven who not so subtly pulled a flask from her bag to spike her own glass of punch with. Murphy and Aden disappeared at some point as well, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone early enough in the dance. 

Clarke was quick to pull Lexa on the dance floor. And despite the tight space full of hormone-filled teenagers, it felt like they were the only ones there. With lingering eyes and gentle touches as their bodies moved together, sometimes to their own beat. And if Clarke was being honest, it was the best time she had had in a while. No worrying about what other people may think of her, no worrying about what was going on at home. Everything was starting to fall into place. 

Clarke was going to tell Lexa that she loved her that night. Whether it be in the middle of a slow dance, or some time after Prom, she was going to tell her. 

Because not telling her was killing her. 

_'Can we take a break?'_ Clarke asked after a few hours, motioning to the hallway. Lexa nodded. 

The hallway was a lot cooler than the venue. Maybe it was the open doors at the end of the hallway bringing in a breeze, but Clarke was grateful for the change in temperature. Even if it left goosebumps along her arms. 

She pulled the earplugs from her ears, taking a deep breath. _'I don't know how you do it.'_ Clarke explained. 

_'What do you mean?'_

_'Being in constant silence. I can barely handle it for a few hours, and it's not even completely quiet.'_

Lexa shrugged, _'It's not that bad when you get used to it.'_

Clarke nodded, going silent for a moment. She chewed her lip, then looked up at Lexa. _'I admire you, you know that?'_

Lexa furrowed her brow, _'What do you mean?'_

_'Life hasn't given you the easiest time. Foster care, losing your hearing, the whole stuff with Costia... Sure, some of it you don't see as a bad thing. But at the time, it couldn't have been easy. But you don't let it effect you. You grow from it, you take it and you turn it into something you can learn from or adapt to. And that,'_ She smiled, a chuckle falling from her lips, _'That's so admirable, Lex.'_

Lexa smiled, eyes falling to the floor. Clarke could tell she was a little uncomfortable. _'That's just life, Clarke. It's nothing special.'_

_'But it is. I don't think I'd be able to handle it the way you did, Lexa.'_

_'But that's what makes you so great, Clarke. Can't you see that? You've been given a few hard times too, and while you let it effect you, you show your emotions. You wear your heart on your sleeve.'_ Clarke looked at her. Lexa took a breath before continuing. _'You stand up for what you believe in, and if it backfires, you mourn. But you get right back up. And that's what I admire about you, Clarke. That's why I--'_ She paused, chewing her lip. _'That's why you're you.'_

Clarke just looked at Lexa for a moment. She really looked at her, meeting her eyes. And it was like the world stopped for just a moment. Like things were clicking into place around Clarke and while it was overwhelming, the kind of overwhelming that made you lose your breath, Clarke loved it. She took Lexa's hand with a gentle squeeze, and with a smile, signed, _'You want to get out of here??'_

And Lexa followed her. Because Lexa would follow her everywhere. 

\-----------------------

They arrived at Lexa's house in a quick haste. It was almost as if Clarke couldn't drive fast enough with Lexa's hand resting on her thigh, tracing shapes through the thin material of her dress. Something had snapped during that moment in the hallway, and suddenly neither girl could get enough of each other. And while Clarke would usually say that they were moving too fast, that they should wait, she felt safe with Lexa. 

This felt right. 

Their lips attached as soon as they entered the Woods' house. Lexa pressed Clarke against the wall, her hands finding solace on Clarke's hips as Clarke cupped Lexa's jaw, wanting her closer. _Needing_ her closer. And it was when Lexa moved to Clarke's neck, pressing wet kisses down to her shoulder that Clarke gently nudged Lexa away, nodding towards the stairs. 

Lexa was eager to comply. 

Their positions were switched when they got up the stairs. Clarke pushed Lexa against the door, her hands already tugging up the hem of Lexa's dress to press her leg between Lexa's thighs. The brunette's hand struggled to find the doorknob, too focused on Clarke's lips against hers. As the door finally opened and Clarke managed to start to guide Lexa in the room, a noise from down the hall caught her attention. 

She broke the kiss, panting, and giving Lexa a look. _'I thought your parents weren't home?'_ She asked. 

Lexa shook her head, _'They're not. They're out of town for the weekend. Why?'_

Clarke heard another noise, causing her eyes to drift down the hallway. Lexa caught the look and turned, stepping protectively in front of Clarke. 

She started to walk down the hallway towards Aden's room; the place where Clarke was looking after she heard the noise. Clarke continued to hear noises and her hand fell on Lexa's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze as they moved closer. 

When Lexa's hand fell to Aden's doorknob and started to turn it, Clarke heard a moan. But before she could tell Lexa, the brunette had opened the door. 

"Jesus _fuck!_ Lexa? Clarke?!" 

Clarke's eyes widened and she had to keep Lexa from lashing out. 

"Murphy! Pull up your damn pants!" 

"Shut the door!" 

Clarke reached in front of Lexa, slamming the door shut. Lexa let out a breath, turning towards Clarke. _'Well that's the last thing I needed to see tonight.'_

_'I don't think any of us were expecting your brother to be sucking Murphy's dick.'_ Clarke replied, letting out a nervous laugh. 

Lexa shook her head, running a hand through her hair. Clarke leaned forward, placing a kiss to Lexa's cheek. _'We could always go to mine?'_

Lexa smiled, _'Please? I think I need to rinse my eyes out with bleach.'_

Clarke laughed and tugged Lexa along, hoping the mood wasn't entirely killed. 

\----------------------

It wasn't. 

Their tempo only grew as they stumbled into Clarke's room, blindly grasping anywhere for support until they fell onto Clarke's bed. The nightside table lamp provided enough light for the both of them to see each other. And Clarke took her time, slowing things down immensely. She stripped Lexa of her dress, leaving the brunette in just her underwear and panties, and it took Clarke's breath away. 

It was time. 

She looked at Lexa, with kiss-swollen lips and messy hair, breathing heavily on her bed and she knew it was time. 

"I love you," She whispered, meeting Lexa's eyes. 

She didn't need to sign it to know that Lexa understood. 

Lexa leaned forward, kissing her deeply yet so softly Clarke felt like she was in heaven. Everything was perfect. Everything was great. 

And then Lexa responded, _'I've loved you since the moment I met you. I just didn't realize it yet.'_

And Lexa kissed her, and took a breath away. And together they molded into the bed, spending hours tangling in each other and getting lost in the touch of soft skin and breathy moans. And Clarke couldn't wish for anything better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to include that line. It just fit so well, honestly. 
> 
> Also, I'm not the best at smut, so I hope this was enough to suffice!!
> 
> On another note, I have recently uploaded a moodboard aesthetic for this story over on the tumblr page ( colors-au ), so if you wanna see that go ahead and check over there. 
> 
> As always, I hope you guys enjoyed, and please let me know what you think!


	25. XXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College acceptance letters, graduation, and the end of an era.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this is it. This is the last chapter of Colors. 
> 
> It's bittersweet, really. I started this in a fit of writers block, and it's come so far. I'll be honest, I never thought this story would get as much attention as it did. It's become my child; something I had to learn and grow off of and it's been such a great ride. I'm so grateful to have shared it with you all. I hope this final chapter does this story justice. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy.

**_Monday, April 23rd_ **

"So... You mean to tell me, you and Murphy have been dating almost this whole time? What the fuck? When did this even happen?" Raven asked from her position on the couch, adjusting her non-braced leg the best she could to tuck it underneath her. 

Aden laughed, shaking his head. He sat upon a stool, having dragged it through the dirt to place it next to Murphy's seat. Murphy's hand rested upon his leg; they knew that now that their friends knew, there was no point in hiding anymore. And Clarke could tell that Aden felt free. 

"We... started talking shortly after homecoming," Aden admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "After Murphy showed how concerned he was for Clarke, he thanked me for taking her home that night. And then Secret Santa happened, and well... We hooked up during the storm on Christmas for the first time. But we decided to take things slow after that. It was actually Murphy who suggested it." 

"Wow, who knew my bro was such a sap." Raven piqued, nudging Murphy in the shoulder. Murphy flipped her off. 

"So that's why you skipped out on dinner with our parents? You were out with Murphy?" Clarke asked. 

Aden nodded, "Yeah, and I'm sorry about that. If I hadn't already had one thing scheduled, you know I would've made it."

Lexa looked between her girlfriend and her brother and intervened, _'I'm sure there will be many more for you to attend.'_

Aden grinned at her. It seemed like things were really falling into place for all of them.

\-------------------------

Soon enough, everyone was slowly staring to get college acceptance letters and sharing where they were heading in the fall. It started to make everything feel real for the small group of friends. 

Raven got accepted to MIT with a science scholarship. It didn't come as a surprise; everyone who knew Raven knew that she was a genius. But that didn't stop her from parading around her success and rubbing it in the faces of those who didn't believe in her. 

Aden got accepted into a few colleges, but his main decision was between UCLA for art and Julliard for music. Apparently, the deaf musician card was used to his advantage on top of his piano skills. But he was still up in the air with where he wanted to go. It took him a few weeks to decide that he didn't think music was the right choice, and opted for UCLA.

Octavia and Lincoln were heading to the University of Albuquerque on sports scholarships; there wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that they'd be getting a wedding invitation from them a few years down the line. 

Clarke had her own handful of acceptance letters, but had narrowed it down to Berkeley, Rhode Island School of Design and Stanford. In the end, Stanford won out for her. It was her mother's alum; and while she did feel obligated, she didn't have a doubt in mind that she was going to love the school in California. 

Lexa was the last to get her acceptance letters. 

\------------------------------------

**_Saturday, May 19th_ **

Everything seemed to be happening a lot faster than Lexa anticipated. 

The day before was Lexa's last day of high school. And if she were being honest, she didn't know how to feel about it. Her friends had been excited, and Clarke had held her hand the entire walk out of school before taking her out for ice cream. Murphy had ran out of the school yelling "fuck you" to everyone in sight, and it was the most Lexa had seen the man publicly talk. But she still didn't know how to feel. 

Her parents decided to host a barbecue in celebration. Anya even drove down to join the congregation of their friends in the backyard, combined with parents and music and side conversations that Lexa couldn't keep up with. She stood in the kitchen, occasionally peeking out into the backyard, but her focus was on the envelope in her hands. 

It was thick. An acceptance, without a doubt. The word "Oxford" printed in neat letters in the top corner. She had been holding her breath since she got it. The mail had arrived an hour or so before the barbecue started, and Lexa had yet to join the festivities. She was nervous. 

Eventually, she opened the envelope. And as she scanned across the letter, she let out the breath of relief upon seeing the words "acceptance" and "scholarship". But that just left more problems floating around in Lexa's head, because now she had to choose between Oxford and the other college she had a for sure scholarship in -- Stanford. 

Oxford was a great choice. Not only was it an amazing school, but it was in England. A place that Lexa always wanted to go. It would be a great opportunity for her; not only for photography and studying law but also because it was something she may never get to do. It would look great in the future, and law was a safe option. Law was almost guaranteed a good job after college for the future she wanted to have with Clarke, if Clarke would have her in the future. 

Clarke. 

Stanford had Clarke, though. And while it was across the country from family, it was better than being across the sea. She'd be able to call her mother whenever without having to worry too much about messed up timezones. And with California came not only Clarke, but Aden as well, the person she really felt like she couldn't live without seeing often. At Oxford, she would be alone. Truly alone. Not to mention she'd have to learn BSL as well; another con to the Oxford list. 

Stanford meant following her dreams. Oxford meant going with the logical solution.

But as she looked out the window, and saw Clarke chasing Aden around with a water bottle leaking water on the both of them, and the way her hair fell around her shoulders and her face lit up in joy, she felt her heart ache at the thought of leaving Clarke behind. 

And when Clarke's eyes met Lexa's, and she got lost in the ocean she felt she could drown in forever, Lexa made her decision. 

She put the Oxford envelope on top of the fridge, hoping that it'd be safe there before she joined the others outside. 

She would be attending Stanford in the fall, with Clarke Griffin. And she hoped to god that it was the right decision. 

\-------------------------------

Clarke stayed the night with Lexa that night. And while they probably should've been sleeping as the clock moved closer to three am, neither of them could sleep. They were still buzzing from the mix of excitement of finally being done with school and the slight hint of whiskey that Murphy had snuck over once the parents went to bed. 

They sat up, just talking with each other as a Disney movie played on in the background, long forgotten. 

_'Have you gotten your letters yet?'_ Clarke asked, her eyes hopeful. 

Lexa nodded, _'I have. And I've made a decision.'_

_'What did it come down to?'_

Lexa let out a sigh, hesitating before she answered. She got the feeling Clarke wouldn't like her answer. _'Oxford, and... Stanford.'_

Clarke was silent for a moment. It was as if the gears in Clarke's head were starting to piece together what Lexa had said and coming up with the conclusion that Lexa knew Clarke was going to make. There was no point in lying; they both knew the truth. There was no denying it. 

_'Lexa, you didn't.'_

_'I chose Stanford, Clarke.'_

_'Why?'_ Clarke seemed almost mad, _'Because of me?'_

_'Not... entirely.'_

_'Then why, Lex?'_

_'It's a hell of a lot closer to home than Oxford, for starters. Aden is going to California. I wouldn't have to learn B-S-L. And would it be so wrong to want to go to college with the love of my life?'_ Lexa explained, hands moving quickly. She had signed it without thinking. 

_'What?'_

The brunette sighed, _'You know I love you, Clarke. But... I really don't see me being with anyone else for the rest of my life. It hurts, imaging you with someone else. And if I have anything to say about it, I'm not going to let you go.'_

_'Are you afraid that if we go to separate colleges that we'll break up?'_ Clarke asked. 

_'No-- I mean, long distance is.. hard. Especially when phone calls aren't the easiest thing. I don't know, Clarke. I just felt it'd be... easier.'_

_'Lexa, you can't just pick things because they're easy.'_

_'I know that,'_ Lexa sighed, _'In the end, it came down to what I wanted to do with my life. Stanford meant photography, and film. And while I think I'd make a great lawyer... I have to follow my dreams, Clarke. And you're part of that. You know that.'_

Clarke sighed. _'What about the other colleges you got into?'_

_'Stanford, Cambridge, Yale, Oxford, Harvard...'_ She shrugged. 

Clarke gaped, however. _'You got into Ivy League schools and you chose Stanford?'_

_'They didn't offer any scholarships.'_

Clarke let out a laugh, and for what felt like the millionth time, Lexa wished she could hear it. But instead of greiving, she just kissed the blonde that stole her heart. 

\--------------------------------

**_Sunday, June 4th_ **

If you had told Clarke at the beginning of her junior year that she'd be graduating from a public school in Maryland with a girlfriend by her side and her father nowhere in sight, she'd call you crazy. Not because of the girlfriend part, but everything else. She'd tell you that she'd never go to public school, because she was raised in private school her entire life. She'd tell you that her father was her hero; he was _always_ supposed to be at her graduation. That's just how it was supposed to be. 

But now, she couldn't imagine graduating anywhere else.

She had spent hours on her cap the night before, decorating it as elegantly as she could with colors and a mix of different images that she felt truly captured how her senior year had gone. From paintbrushes, to cameras, to a miniature version of the mural she had painted with Aden earlier that year, it seemed to really capture Clarke as a whole. And she loved it. Other members of her class seemed to love it as well.

"We're graduating, bitches!" Raven called, running towards the area where the small group had congregated. She had her phone in hand, eagerly taking photos with each and every person we could. "It's about damn time!" 

Murphy was not far behind her. But what surprised Clarke wasn't that he had even showed up to begin with, but the sash across his shoulders that read "Valedictorian". 

"Oh... Wow, Murphy."

"I take full offense to that, Griff." He smirked. "What, didn't think I had it in me to be a genius?"

"No, I just.. wasn't expecting it, if I'm being honest."

"Just because we don't share classes together, doesn't mean I don't excel." He explained, greeting Aden with a kiss on the cheek. 

"I just didn't peg you as the speech giving type." 

"Oh, I'm not." Murphy smirked again; it almost never went away. "But I do plan to use my speech to get a little payback." 

"Just don't get kicked out on graduation." Aden commented. 

"What're they going to do? Suspend me?" 

They shared a laugh, but soon enough it was time for them to line up and begin the ceremony. And if Clarke was being honest, she was nervous for it. Her whole life was prepared for this moment and now it was here, and she wasn't sure what to do. She was seated next to people she hadn't met before, internally cursing the alphabetical system the entire time, and consistently found herself looking back at her friends. And when her eyes met Lexa's, the brunette simply signed "I love you" to her, to which Clarke responded the same. 

It was time. 

She couldn't stop herself from cheering when Murphy was called up onstage to present his speech. 

"Alright," He cleared his throat, folding his hands on the podium for a moment before he raised them. "I know you guys are expecting some sappy-ass speech about how high school has changed me, how it's made me a better person, how there's teachers I'd like to thank for making me the man I am today, but really, I'd just be feeding you bullshit. Hell, I had to come up with that exact thing just to get myself approved for this. But I'm going to be real with you guys." He paused, glancing around at the class before him. A smirk appeared on his face. 

"I'm not a sappy guy. I barely know any of you; hell, I spent most of this year under the bleachers taking a nap because I couldn't stand to be around any of you. I hated high school. It was the worst four years of my life. My parents sucked ass, the teachers sucked even more ass, and half of you just wanted to fuck each other or play football -- which, by the way, is even _more_ gay than show choir. I mean really, running around on a field tackling other guys for the sake of a ball? Come on, guys." 

He earned a laugh from the class before he continued. Clarke was impressed that he managed to sign along the entire time. "But, I _guess_ I should thank a few people. People that, at the beginning of this year, I can guarantee that I probably hated. But _they_ are the ones who changed me this year. _They_ are the ones who made me who I am. And _they_ are the people that I know I'm going to stay friends with for the rest of my life. I don't even have to say their names. They know who they are. And I thank you guys, a lot."

He met eyes with Raven, then Octavia, then Lincoln, then Lexa, then Aden, and finally, Clarke. And he ended that off with a wink. 

"So, I guess that's my speech. A big ol' 'fuck you' to the entirety of Arkadia High. Good riddance, honestly. You all thought I wouldn't be able to get into college, and here I am, going to Berkeley in the fall. Oh, and one more thing," He lifted the mic, and turned towards one guy in particular, "Jason, I still hate your fuckin' guts for stealing my crayons in the fourth grade." And with that, he put the mic back and headed back to his seat. 

Clarke could tell that the principal was flabbergasted by Murphy's speech. But really, Clarke was proud of him. And she really couldn't say it better herself. 

The rest of the ceremony seemed to drag on. More speeches, a performance by a few members of the band, things that, to Clarke, didn't really seem all that important even though she knew she should be excited about it all. And she was; she was beyond excited. But at this point it felt like the faculty of the school were trying to make it go on forever. 

But then, before she knew it, it was time. And they were lining up, row by row, as their principals called their name. There were cheers of joy when the principal called out "Clarke Abigail Griffin" and she _swore_ she heard her mother yell the loudest at that. And all her friend's followed suit. 

And then, it was time they threw their caps. 

Clarke's lips were attached to Lexa's before they even began to fall. 

\--------------------------------

The summer moved by quickly. 

Raven had driven off with Anya when the older blonde headed back to New York. Apparently, the two of them had hooked up during Spring Break, but kept it private. They still hadn't made anything official, but Clarke had a feeling that they'd be running into each other a lot more often than could be considered "coincidential". Octavia and Lincoln had left at the beginning of summer, leaving only four of their little group still in Annapolis by the time August was coming to a close. 

They were packing up a U-Haul with all of their stuff that would attach to the back of Murphy's truck. It wasn't the most ideal situation, but they wanted to get the most out of their last few days of freedom before they were thrown into college classes. Nyko had pestered them; saying that he'd be more than willing to go with them, but Aden had told them it'd be okay. They'd make it in one piece, and they'd even update the family group chat. 

Clarke let out a sigh as she put the last of their stuff in the U-Haul, closing the door with a huff. She didn't think that this would come as fast as it did, but here they were, getting ready to drive across the country. Niylah and Luna had promised to meet them when they got to Los Angeles, where they'd drop Aden and Luna off at UCLA then drive up to San Francisco.

She smiled when she felt familiar arms around her waist and turned in Lexa's grasp, green eyes meeting blue. 

_'Are we really doing this?'_ She asked, earning a grin from Lexa.

_'You mean, are we really driving across the country with no parental supervision to start our lives as college kids? You bet we are.'_

Clarke laughed and kissed Lexa's lips, pulling her closer where their bodies melded together. 

"Come on lovebirds, time to get this show on the road." Murphy called, placing a hand on Lexa's shoulder before he walked up to the front of the truck. Aden hopped in the passenger seat, leaving Lexa and Clarke to say goodbye to their parents before they left. 

"You've come so far, Clarke." Abby whispered before pulling Clarke into a hug. 

"I'm just gone for a few months, mom. And you know you can call me at any time." 

"I know, it's just going to be hard. But you're going to do great." 

They parted, and Clarke took Lexa's hand as they got into the backseat of Murphy's truck. 

Clarke let out a soft sigh as she leaned against the window, watching as the greens of the trees started to go to reds and oranges; a sign of approaching September. A year since moving to residential Annapolis, Maryland, and Clarke was happier than she could've ever been. Just like this time last year, she had moving boxes in the back of her car as she filled with an eagerness to meet new people and have new adventures, but this time, she had someone by her side. 

Lexa lifted her hand and kissed her palm, giving Clarke a small smile. 

Yeah, things were definitely the best they could possibly be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what did you guys think? Did you love it? Did you hate it?
> 
> Maybe I'll write one-shots or a sequel or something. Who knows. 
> 
> Until then, feel free to check out the new story I have up on my page: Goner. It's a superhuman AU. Pretty dope, if I do say so myself. 
> 
> Love you guys. xx


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue. AKA, the clexa wedding we all deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to have be out a little closer to the one-year anniversary of this fic, but better late than never, right? I fell into a little hole on the clexa tumblr tag and inspiration hit for this story. I want to really give Clarke and Lexa that happy ending they deserve.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

“Where’s Anya?”

“When I called her an hour ago she was still arguing with the florist. Apparently nobody called ahead of time to order the arrangements.” 

“Who was in charge of the flowers?”

“Jasper.”

“Who left Jasper in charge of the flowers?!”

“Raven.”

Aden huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose before he checked his watch. There was only a few hours left until the _one_ thing he was looking forward to all month -- his sister’s wedding. Lexa had offered him the role of wedding planning and he happily obliged, even going as far as to assigning a different role to each of their friends. That didn’t, however, stop Raven from butting in and changing the roles he had perfectly assigned weeks in advance. 

He looked to Monty, a pleading look in his eyes. “Can you _please_ go help Anya with the florist while I make sure everything else is in order?” 

Monty smiled at him, giving a mock salute. “You got it, boss.” 

Aden watched as he walked away and turned, making his way to Lexa’s dressing room. He went over the checklist in his head, double checking that everything was in order. Murphy was in charge of the reception venue; that had been taken care of last night. Lincoln was in charge of setting up chairs; Octavia had assured him that that was being done before he checked in with Monty. Bellamy was playing “guard”, assuring all of them that nobody without an invite would be attending the wedding. Niylah was in charge of Clarke’s wedding party, he with Lexa’s -- as far as he knew, everything was going as planned. Only a few more hours. 

He straightened his tie as he walked into Lexa’s dressing room, a grin appearing on his face as he saw his sister sitting in front of the vanity. Indra stood behind her, braiding her hair in an intricate way that Aden himself could never understand. It was the way Lexa loved it; the way her hair curled in every which way while it was done up. It was something her mother used to only really do for special events when they had the extra time. It was Lexa’s favorite hairstyle for as long as Aden could remember. 

_’You look beautiful.’_ He signed in the mirror, watching with joy as her eyes lit up. It was the same look in her eyes that she had the night after Clarke said yes. A look that he loved so much on his sister. 

\---------------------------

_”I don’t understand,” Clarke laughed, blindly reaching out in front of her. Aden’s hands were on her shoulders, and Murphy was guiding the two of them to a location that Clarke didn’t know. “What the hell is going on?”_

_”You’ll find out soon enough. Don’t worry about it, Griff.”_

_Aden led her to the last place Clarke would’ve expected to be led to. It had been years since they graduated; years since Murphy’s grand speech that went down in history at Arkadia High School. But as Clarke pulled off the blindfold to see Lexa sitting by the mural that still stood in the hallway, on a blanket with candles surrounding it; it took Clarke’s breath away._

‘What is this?’ _She signed, asking in awe._

‘Surprise.’ _Lexa grinned, patting the seat next to her._ ‘Come sit.’

_And Clarke did. She sat next to Lexa in a similar place that they had sat all those years ago -- the night that Clarke started to see Lexa in a different light. It had made things messy; way back then. But Clarke was always grateful that she had started to find a friend in Lexa. Because without that -- they wouldn’t be where they are today._

_There were far too many candles as would be considered safe, but Clarke had noticed that (luckily) some of them were fake. It provided enough of a glow to make the scene romantic, but enough light to where they could communicate easily. In hindsight, it made Clarke wonder just how many of these candles Lexa had already previously owned if the level of candle wax in the jars had anything to say about it._

‘Do you want to tell me what this is about?’ _Clarke asked after a moment, her eyes falling on Lexa. The brunette smiled a small smile; despite the temperature being warm in the early-summer nights, Clarke could tell there was a faint blush on the girl’s cheeks._

‘Do you remember the last time we sat here together? Just you and I?’ _Lexa asked, taking a moment to reach into the basket that sat beside her. She pulled out a small bottle of sparkling grape juice and a couple of plastic wine glasses, as well as a container of strawberries. Typical romance food (in Lexa’s opinion, at least). She poured each of them a glass, handing Clarke hers. Clarke helped herself to a strawberry._

_The blonde nodded, taking the time to look up at the mural. If she looked closely enough, she could still see the smudges that held Lexa’s fingerprints from when the girl had accidentally touched streaks of wet paint._ ‘I do. It was when you told me about you and… well, you know. And we worked on this --’ _She pointed to the mural,_ ‘before we got caught.’

‘But do you remember all that we talked about?’

‘You and Costia.’ _Clarke signed the girls name with a look of disgust; a pure hatred. She didn’t hate a lot of people in her life, but Costia was at the top of that list. If anything, then for the amount of confidence and trust that Costia had torn down in the girl she loved. Clarke spent so long building Lexa back up from that -- and while she didn’t regret or resent a moment of it, she hated that Costia was able to do so much in such a small amount of time._

_Lexa smiled at Clarke’s obliviousness, taking Clarke’s hand in her own and bringing it to her lips before she continued._ ‘You had told me that night that I deserved someone better. That I deserved to live and to love and be loved in return.’ 

_Clarke remembered the conversation fondly. She often regretted not finishing that conversation, but if they had, there was a chance that things may not have played out the way they did. That she wouldn’t be sitting there that day._

‘Clarke,’ _Lexa continued,_ ‘I knew from the moment I met you that you were different. The way you talked with Aden; you didn’t treat him like he was broken. You treated him like a person; someone who had a hard time, but a person. You put effort in something that not a lot of people would bother with -- learning something that wouldn’t help you, but him. And by extension, me. You had always been different.’

_She took a moment; seeming to gather her thoughts. Clarke looked at her curiously; the sudden increase of her heartbeat gave way to let her know that what she thought was happening was happening -- Lexa was really doing this._

‘You always go out of your way to help other people. You gave your mom a new sense of hope after what happened with your dad; you gave Murphy and Raven a family. You gave Aden a friend he could rely on and trust…’ _She paused; her hands hovering a moment._ ‘You gave me a reason to keep believing in things like love and hope. You stood by my side when everything with Costia happened. And you made me a promise that you’d always keep me safe. But… I want to make you a promise, too.’

_She pulled out a box; small and covered in a dark blue velvet that Clarke didn’t have to feel to know that it was real. Clarke couldn’t help the gasp that left her lips._

‘I promise to always be by your side no matter what. I promise to care for you, and to love you, and to treat you like the goddess you are -- if you’ll have me. You’re my best friend, and someone who has shown me life is a lot more than just surviving… I want to give you my all. I want to give you a life that you’ll love; a life full of happiness, and joy, and everything you could possibly want. I just ask one thing of you,’

_Lexa went to all the measures; Clarke noticed. The romantic setting; the meaningful setting. The candles, the food -- hell, even the drinks. But the thing that brought Clarke to tears wasn’t any of that. It wasn’t the words that Lexa signed (even if that was close) -- it was the fact that Lexa stood up to get on one knee, despite already sitting down, that caused Clarke to let out a choked laugh that let the tears fall. And the way that Lexa looked so concerned already just made her heart swell with love even more._

_Lexa hadn’t even gotten the words out before Clarke said yes._

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

_’You look rather dashing yourself,’_ Lexa smirked, earning a grin from her brother in the mirror. 

_’Everything ready for the ceremony? Your vows are ready?’_ Aden asked. 

Lexa nodded, _’As ready as they’ll ever be.’_

_’Nervous?’_

_’Of course.’_

Aden squeezed her shoulder, _’Don’t be. You’ve worked hard for this.’_

Before Lexa could say anything else, Murphy’s head was peeking out through the door. He waved in Aden and Lexa’s direction; Aden caught it out of the corner of the mirror. 

_’Hate to break up the sappy love-fest, but can I talk to you out here, babe?’_ He asked, referring to Aden. Aden looked back at Lexa with a smile, nodded, and walked towards Murphy. Once in the hallway, Aden’s happy demeanor fell. 

“What’s going on?” 

“We’ve got a problem in the parking lot. Bellamy made it _very_ clear to come get you and Lincoln, and to _not_ , under any circumstances, get anyone from Clarke’s room.” 

Aden didn’t have to be able to hear to know that Murphy had a mocking tone to his voice. He sighed, pressing his fingers to his temples. He had a feeling he knew what this was about. Letting Murphy lead them to the front doors of the venue, Aden had to keep himself calm for what was about to happen. 

They stepped outside just in time to see Bellamy getting in Jake Griffin’s face, signing away. It didn’t take much to know that Jake didn’t know what Bellamy was saying; the confused look on his face said it all. Lincoln stood off to the side, preparing to translate, but Jake cut Bellamy off. 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re saying! Let me inside to see my daughter!” 

It was then that Aden decided to make himself known. He stepped in-between Bellamy and Jake, shoving Jake away from his friend. 

“You’re not going anywhere but back to your car and as far away from here as possible. You lost your right to seeing Clarke today when you walked out on your family.” 

Jake’s eyes narrowed with anger -- “You don’t get to talk to me like that --”

“Bullshit I don’t. You could’ve fixed things. You could’ve stayed. But you left. Like a _coward_.” He spit the words out with anger, knowing that both Murphy and Bellamy were behind him in case he got _too_ angry. “Do you know exactly what you did? Not _only_ did you sleep around back in Seattle -- but you dragged your dirty laundry to Polis. Polis was never your town to screw over. And neither was my best friend. You sat there, selfishly taking away from so many people -- Abby, Clarke -- not to mention that you tried to take away from the kind-hearted people of _my_ town with your stupid Exodus project. You never paid attention to Clarke -- you were too busy with your head shoved up the ass of Jaha to even focus on what was right in front of you. But that’s not even the worst of it.” He snickered dryly, shaking his head. Everything that he had wanted to say to Jake Griffin was finally coming out. 

“You ignored Clarke for months. Did you even realize that she barely spent any time at home? That she spent all her time with Murphy and Raven, or with me and Lexa? Did you know that we actually got that mural slot? Clarke told me in high school how she repeatedly tried to tell you and you continuously talked over her. You ignored your _only daughter_ for months until it all slapped right back in her face with a big ol’ ‘fuck you!’ to her. _You_ tore your family apart. _You_ broke your daughter to pieces; leaving Lexa, me, and the rest of her friends to pick up the pieces. _You_ broke Abby’s heart. But guess what?”

He met Jake’s eyes and he knew he hit a nerve. But frankly, he didn’t care at that point. “They don’t need you. Because they _have_ a family. One that doesn’t include you. Because every little part of their family is sitting in that venue right now. So if you truly cared about Clarke, you would get in your car, drive far away, and not come back. Because they don’t need you. They never needed you.” 

He took one last look at Jake, shaking his head. He had said what he needed to say. Jake didn’t deserve to know more. Jake didn’t deserve to know that while Clarke had confided in Lexa about everything -- Lexa had confided in Aden. Jake didn’t deserve to know that it took years for Clarke to repair herself from the damage Jake had caused; that it was taking longer than that for Abby to recover. Jake didn’t deserve to know that this past Thanksgiving was one of the few times that Aden actually saw Abby Griffin smile at a family gathering when she wasn’t drinking. Jake Griffin didn’t deserve to know the joy that Clarke and Abby felt when they were unofficially adopted into the Woods’ family. 

Jake didn’t deserve to see Clarke at her happiest moment. 

Aden straightened his jacket, fixed his hair, and turned, walking back into the venue. 

\------------------------------------------------

“How long do we have?”

“Twenty minutes.. Five less than you last asked.”

“I don’t need your attitude, dickweed. I was just asking.”

“For the third time in a half hour.”

“Keep it up and I’ll eat all the leftovers.” 

“You wouldn’t dare!” 

“Guys! Can you shut up for just a moment?” Clarke asked, letting out a breath. The nerves were starting to get to her and she wasn’t sure how to handle it. 

She was about to get married. To the love of her life. It was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. But she was beyond nervous. 

What if her dress didn’t look okay? What if she tripped on her way to the altar? Oh _God_ \-- what if she and Lexa accidentally bought the same dress?!

“Sweetie, is everything okay?” Abby asked, placing a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. 

“What if everything goes wrong, mom? What if the venue catches fire?”

“That’s a little out-there, Clarke.” 

“It could happen!” 

“Griff, it’s the middle of December in Maryland. If it catches fire, the snowstorm we’re supposed to get tonight will put it out.” 

“Oh God -- a _snowstorm_?!”

“Way to go, dickweed.” 

“Shut up, bitch.”

“Asshole.”

“Guys!” 

Raven sighed, walking over to Clarke. She gently nudged Abby away, giving her and Clarke some space. 

“Listen to me, okay? You know that girl in the other room? About your height, brunette, green eyes? Yeah -- you know her. Listen. She’s nuts about you. Like, more nuts than Murphy is about Aden even if he doesn’t admit it.” 

“Hey!” 

“You know it’s true.” She turned back to Clarke, “You have nothing to worry about. Everything’s going to plan. Aden triple checked his list like some sort of wedding Santa; if something was going wrong, he’d have handled it, right?” 

Clarke nodded. 

“Then we’re good. But we’ve got, what -- twenty minutes?” 

“Fifteen.”

“Fifteen minutes before you walk down that aisle. And I know you don’t want to be a sobbing mess before you see Lexa at that altar. So put on your brave face, touch up your makeup, and remember -- today is the first day of the rest of your life. You’re gonna walk out of here tonight with the woman of your dreams on your arm. You’ve got this, Griff.” 

Clarke let out a sigh. For as unconventional as Raven can be with her advice, she knew that the girl was right. Clarke had nothing to be worried about. 

\--------------------------------------------

Lexa had everything to be worried about. 

She had this big, grand gesture for Clarke all planned, but now she was second-guessing herself. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to do it -- her throat felt tight and her hands were shaking. It was five minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start and she was alone in her dressing room; everyone else was lining up to start. But Lexa felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

There was a flash of light at her door; the best attempt they could do at rigging the rented dressing rooms was putting a lamp by the door for someone to reach in and flash to get Lexa’s attention. She walked over to the door and opened it, feeling a small weight be lifted when she saw her father standing there. 

_’Everyone’s ready,’_ Nyko signed, a look of pride on his face. _’Are you?’_

Lexa swallowed; she knew she was ready. She may not _feel_ ready, but she had to be. Because this was for Clarke. And she wanted to give Clarke the world. 

Everyone was lined up. They had decided that their friends walk with their respective significant others rather than attempting to pair up everyone -- it was easier that way. First was Octavia and Lincoln, then Niylah and Luna. Anya and Raven, then Murphy and Aden. And lastly out of that list was Lexa, accompanied by Nyko. 

Clarke was going to be the last to walk down the aisle, accompanied by Abby. 

And God, was Lexa excited to see Clarke walk down the aisle. 

They started walking. Pair by pair until they reached the end, but Lexa didn’t pay attention to the standing ovation she had as she walked. Because in her eyes, the only person deserving of that was Clarke Griffin. 

Soon to be Griffin-Woods; they decided on a hyphen. It was easier than deciding who would take who’s name. 

And as soon as she saw that familiar head of blonde hair turning the corner, all sources of oxygen left her lungs. 

Clarke was beautiful. Even more beautiful than Lexa remembered from the night before -- the last time Lexa had seen her. Her hair fell across her shoulders in golden waves that seemed to go on endlessly; her dress fit her perfectly in the way that Clarke would want it to fit. Not too loose; not too tight. Clarke was the only person Lexa was looking at in the entire room -- she hadn’t even realized she was crying until she felt her own tears on her hands. 

This was exactly where she was supposed to be. 

And she didn’t want to be anywhere else.   
\-------------------------------------

It was time for the vows. And Clarke didn’t have hers memorized -- she had Murphy hold onto the list. But at her cue, he handed her the paper with a smile. 

“I didn’t have this memorized; I’m sorry.” She apologized, signing the best she could while holding the paper. “But… memorizing it seemed a bit too…” She frowned slightly, “I wanted it to feel more raw. And if I rehearsed it, it’d lose that feeling.” Turning fully to Lexa, she met her eyes and held the girl’s gaze for a little bit longer than necessary before she read over the first few lines of her vows. 

“When I met you, I had no idea what kind of impact you’d have on my life. I didn’t know the journey’s we’d go on, or the life that we’d create together. I didn’t know that I’d fall in love with you so quickly. I hate to quote typical teen books, but this one really reminded me of you.” Clarke paused, reading over the next few lines so she could sign them. 

“‘I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.’ And it’s true, Lex. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I started to fall in love with you -- but when I realized it, it was too late to stop. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you. I can’t wait to care for you, to truly, completely start a life with you. And I promise to be the best wife I can possibly be for you. Because you truly do deserve the best in life, Lex. I love you. So much.” 

They weren’t long, and Clarke had so much more to say. But her time learning sign had told her one thing: you can say a lot in little words. And that was one of the things that Clarke liked the most about sign. 

But then it was Lexa’s turn. 

The brunette took a breath and smiled sheepishly at Clarke, wiping away her tears. She just couldn’t seem to stop crying. 

_’I’m not sure what more there is for me to say without me repeating my proposal to you. But I meant every word back then as much as I do now -- if not more. I knew from the beginning that you were different. But I didn’t know exactly how. I didn’t know exactly how much you’d be changing my life. I didn’t know back then that I’d be falling in love with you from the moment I saw you interacting with Aden -- yes, that long, Clarke. I just didn’t know it yet. I’ve loved you for years now, but I feel like I’ve known you my entire life. I’ve made you so many promises that I have every intention to keep. But there’s one more promise I want to make. I promise to never stop loving you. Through every fight; every make up -- even through your terrible bed-head.’_

She earned a laugh, but could see the blush creeping through the happy tears on Clarke’s face. 

_’But above everything else…’_ She took a breath, and the next thing shocked everyone but Aden. 

“I love you, Clarke. I always will.” 

Lexa’s voice was a little disfigured; as to be expected. It was more hoarse than Anya’s, yet soft and smooth. And it was music to Clarke’s ears. She gaped a few moments, unable to find words to respond until she turned to the pastor and gestured for him to quickly continue on because all she wanted to do in that moment was kiss Lexa until neither of them could breathe. 

And at his words, that’s exactly what she did. 

She kissed Lexa as hard as she could; completely forgoing the bouquet in her hands in favor of cupping the love of her life’s face. Their lips molded together and they truly became one in a room full of crowded people. But to the both of them; all they could see was the other person. 

All they could see was the woman they loved most in this world. 

And they wouldn’t want it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo. So that was fun to write. I've been thinking about maybe writing a few one-shots in this universe, but really, only time will tell. I hope you all enjoyed.


End file.
